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Operation Bandana (Final Fantasy XIII) **One Shot**



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Mikoto-Cat

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Plot: Curiosity didn't kill the cat this time
AN: this idea came from a joke my mum made when I was playing Final Fantasy XIII (That Snow was probably bald under his bandana). So this one shot is dedicated to my mum.


Operation Bandana

There was a mystery behind that Snow character and Fang knew it. It wasn't how he could defeat monsters without a weapon of any sorts. It certainly wasn't the fact that he could still be alive during this time without ever using his brain to think his way out of there but instead charge in and strike. No it was something that seemed like no big deal to everyone else and yet Fang seemed so interested.

Fang was leaning against a tall rock. Everyone would've thought that Fang might've taken that time to breathe in the fresh air and smell the flowers that grew in Gran Pulse like Vanille was doing, but here she was leaning against the rock lost in her thoughts. Lightning knew something was up so she went to ask. "Hey Fang what's bothering you?"

"He's hiding something" Fang responded quickly.

This only caused the ex-soldier to raise a brow "…what?" Lightning thought maybe this whole Focus thing was starting to get to Fang. Maybe that's why she was pondering like that. But it was something completely different.

"Don't you find it funny that Snow has never taken off his bandana?" Fang asked. Lightning stood there in silence feeling the urge to smack her own forehead out of the stupidity but she didn't move.

"…Well… it's never bothered me that much" Lightning said still a bit weirded out by Fang's sudden question. "I think the bandana makes him look even more stupid than he already is"

"I think he's hiding something under there," Fang said as she motioned herself towards Lightning holding up her index finger towards her as if she were lecturing a small child. "And I have come up with one conclusion"

"What is it?" Lightning asked half-heartedly because what Fang was pondering about was no longer interesting to her.

"Snow is in fact…balding" Fang grinned and seemed pleased with her conclusion but Lightning raised a brow again.

"…What have you been smoking?"

"He must be balding!" Fang yelled. "Why else would someone wear a bandana on his head?"

Lightning shrugged "well many reasons but I guess balding can be one of them."

"Exactly!" Fang smirked. "Then again he could be hiding something else under that thing" Fang leaned against the big rock and started pondering again.

"What are you ladies up too?" Sazh asked wanting to know why Fang was pondering like that.

"Hey Sazh?" Fang asked, "Do you know what's under Snow's Bandana?"

Sazh shrugged and gave her a sarcastic answer, "um…hair?"

"But why is he always wearing it?" Fang asked sounding impatient.

"To make himself look cool. I don't know" He replied.

"Is he or is he not balding I wonder" Fang placed her hands on her hips "I'm going to get to the bottom of this"

XxX
At night

As Snow was out gathering food, Fang had assembled the rest of the L'cie gang. Lightning and Sazh knew what she was on about and could not believe she was still onto this.

"Ladies and gentlemen" Fang started her little speech "We've all been slightly curious as to what Mr. Villiers has been hiding under that bandana of his…"

"Not really" Vanille said interrupting Fang's speech, "I've never paid attention to his bandana before"

"I wasn't very curious either" Hope said. Then both Vanille and Hope started to think.

"Then again he never takes it off." Vanille pointed out, "Not even when he's sleeping"

"Or when he's taking a bath" Hope added. Every woman stared at the boy.

"You've watched him take a bath," Lightning asked raising a brow.

"Well I kind of took a bath with him and Sazh" He said blushing slightly.

"Why do I get the feeling there's a bunch of crazy girls out there getting this innuendo and spazzing over it?" Sazh asked himself.

"Anyway!" Hope said breaking the awkwardness of the last thing he said. "I thought Snow would've taken off his bandana but he didn't."

Sazh started thinking about this whole bandana thing. "That's true" he said, "Seriously the guy's taking a bath he could at least take that thing off."

Fang scratched her chin in thought "hmm this just makes me even more curious. I still think he's balding but we need to know what's under there for sure"

Lightning rolled her eyes "it's probably no big deal"

Fang patted Lightning on her shoulder "yes it is Light, yes it is."

Lightning groaned in annoyance "Who knows what goes on in … whatever is filling that empty space in Snow's skull. But whatever it is it's probably not important."

Fang completely ignored what Lightning had said before, "I have a plan. Tomorrow we'll some how try to get that bandana off Snow's head and find out what is under there. Is anyone with me?"

Everyone raised his or her hand except for Lightning. "This is stupid" Lightning said, "We have a more important mission like our Focus. Finding out what's under that idiot's bandana is a waste of time."

"One question Light" Fang smirked. "Have YOU ever seen what's under that thing? Surely a future sister in law should know by now"

"Well… no" Lightning answered.

"I rest my case." Fang said giving Lightning a look that said 'You got owned'. "Anyway here's the plan…"

"What plan?" Snow asked, just arriving to the campsite and having absolutely no clue what's happening. He was carrying some food he found around this strange land of Gran Pulse.

"Oh you know, nothing important" Fang gave him an evil grin and Snow raised a brow and didn't know what was going on. All he knew was that it was enough to make Lightning's palm meet her forehead.

"oookaaayyy?" Snow muttered.

XxX

The Next day

Snow woke up only to find himself alone in the campsite. He looked around and shrugged. "Probably just getting food" he assumed and did some morning stretches to get him started for the big day ahead.

What he didn't know was that the rest of the L'cie gang were up to something behind the big rock that was near their camp.

"Okay, Hope and I will distract him. Light and Sazh will tackle him to the ground and hold him down" Fang whispered to the rest of the gang.

"What about me?" Vanille piped up.

"You just stand there and look pretty," Fang said sarcastically but Vanille didn't see it.

"Really?"

"No!" Fang hissed. "You get the bandana off him"

"All right"

Lightning rolled her eyes. "This is not going to end well"

"Oh come now Light!" Fang said. "You want to know more about your future brother in law don't you"

Lightning shrugged. "I guess"

"Good now where's my little minion…I mean um…where's Hope?" Fang asked as her eyes shifted.

"I'm right here," Hope said without knowing what Fang was about to do.

Fang gave Hope an evil grin. "Good". Suddenly she pinched Hope's right ear and dragged him over to wear Snow was.

"OW! OW! WHAT THE HELL?" Hope screamed.

Snow looked over to where that slightly girlish scream was coming from. He saw an angry Fang and poor Hope who was confused and in pain. "Hey guys what's up?" He asked.

"What have you been teaching this poor young innocent child?" Fang screamed.

"Child?" Hope thought angrily. He was relieved when Fang let go of his ear.

Snow looked at Fang with utter confusion "uh what?"

"You heard me!" She yelled, "Look at his face" She squeezed Hope's cheeks really hard. As if the woman hadn't hurt the poor boy enough. "This WAS the face of an innocent boy. Until YOU" She let go of Hope's cheeks and pointed at Snow angrily "started teaching him your pervy ways!"

Snow looked completely weirded out "what's going on?"

"He was watching me undress and I blame you!" She screamed.

"Hey don't look at me like that" Snow back away from the crazy lady. "Boys his age would probably do that kind of stuff anyway"

Fang held her nose high "well he wouldn't have done that if you didn't take him to see us girls bathing that time" She said sounding like a child arguing with their sibling.

Snow was even more confused. "I never did that!"

Fang once again pointed at Snow accusingly. "I saw you do it! You were teaching Hope how to spy on girls bathing"

Snow then realized what she was talking about "um…that was Sazh"

Fang's eyes widened "wait what?"

Behind the giant Rock Sazh started sweating uncontrollably out of fear. "Oh god" he thought to himself.

Snow placed his hands on his hips. "Yeah he wanted to spy on you girls bathing and he took Hope with him"

Fang looked towards Hope and all the boy could mutter was "oh no"

There was a sudden scream behind the rock that sounded suspiciously like Lightning. "YOU DID WHAT?!!!"

"Was that Lightning?" Snow asked himself.

Fang realized her plan had failed. The only word that left her mouth at that moment was "Shit"

"Hey the kid was curious" Sazh defended himself but he couldn't stop sweating.

"I WASN'T!" Hope yelled to Sazh. "I KEPT TELLING YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA!"

Lightning glared at Sazh who only chuckled nervously. "SAZH YOU OLD PERVERT!" She screamed and tackled him to the ground.

Vanille walked towards Fang. "You didn't make a plan 2 did you?" She smirked.

Fang shook her head in shame "the thought never crossed my mind"

"Okay I'm confused" Snow said angrily "what's this about?"

"Maybe we should just ask him" Hope suggested wondering why no one did that in the first place.

"Hey Snow?" Fang asked, "Why don't you ever take off that bandana?"

Snow's eyes widened "is that what it's all about?" He asked but suddenly he burst out laughing, "Well … I just like it" he said trying to keep his cool.

Lightning immediately stopped horribly beating Sazh to a pulp. "That's it!" She yelled angrily

"That and I get bad hat hair" Snow grinned.

Lightning went red with fury "Hey genius!" She yelled to Fang "We could've just asked him that in the first place"

Fang still wasn't convinced that that was the reason he wore the bandana. There had to be something more to it. "Let me see" She said moving closer towards Snow.

Snow was backing away slowly. "I-I wouldn't do that if I were you" he stuttered.

"Why not?" Fang smirked know that she had him cornered "Bad hat hair isn't going to scare us or are you bald under there" She gave Vanille a wink, which was the signal to strike.

"I'm not bald! But seriously don't you think about taking it o-" Before he could finish his sentence Vanille had removed the bandana. What they had discovered under his bandana caused everyone to be in hysterics. Even Lightning was laughing.

Snow pouted angrily at them. "Stop laughing!" He yelled. What they had discovered was that the top of Snow's hair was dyed pink. Not strawberry blonde like Lightning's hair. No it was hot pink.

Lightning had calmed herself down and her face went back to its usual expression. "Um…Snow…what's with the pink hair?" she asked trying not to laugh again.

Snow sighed. "Well you see Serah was dared by Gadot to dye the top of my head pink while I was asleep. It's been like that ever since." He explained.

"You could've just dyed it back," She said.

"I didn't think of that" Snow sighed and he angrily snatched the bandana off of Vanille and placed it back on his head "now are we going to keep moving or what?"

Sazh pulled himself together "He's right we have a mission"

And so the L'cie gang was on their way. Fang smiled to herself mischievously. "Operation bandana: success"

"What are you talking about?" Hope asked her innocently "it didn't go as planned"

"Ah yes!" Fang gave Hope a playful smile. "But we found out why Snow's been wearing that bandana and that's the most important part."

Hope nodded "true"

"I have a question" Fang gave him another smile but this one seemed more evil. "If you and Sazh were spying on us, which one of us girls did you think was the sexiest?"

Hope blushed a bright pink and he quickened his pace attempting to get away from the scary lady.

Lightning walked beside Fang "Are you happy now?" she asked sounding annoyed.

Fang scratched her chin "hmm now that I think about it why does Hope wear that scarf all the time? I mean it's summer he shouldn't need a scarf, maybe he's got a hickey or something on his neck or y'know because he's secretly a Vampire and he's hiding the bite marks he still has."

Lightning said nothing and let out a deep sigh. "Not again"
 
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