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Help/Support ► Ok, Im down again.



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dr.korytco

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Ok, I am down again. My whole life , only a few people have ever understood me, and given me the peace of mind I held onto with all of my hope. Those people have died, and not pleasantly at that. I feel hopeless sometimes trying to express myself and talk to others. No one understands me. They all think I am un-intelligent. I know this is stupid , I am so old and yet bothered by this. I mean guys should not be all emotional and get down like this and worry about this sort of thing. I can not help it anymore.

My whole life people have judged me because I have trouble expressing my feelings, thoughts, ideas , my intelligence. I never am ready to talk, debate, or anything. I am socially challenged. No one gives me enough credit. They act like Im just an idiot controlled by emotion, they are right I am controlled by emotion , but I am far from an idiot.

They take what they obviously have as their right to judge me, the way I express myself, and the way I appear, it is a shame that they will never be intellectual enough to realize there is more to me. That is asking alot however because most people do not understand social devices are not only outward but also inward and that with every social verbal argument the fight within , can be twice as worse and the fight outside of yourself and with others. People do not give me enough credit. It shatters my ego, because in the end I feel hopeless. Maybe I am not as smart as I think I am.

I get dirty looks from my step father, my mother acts like I am a child controlled by emotion, I am I have a lot of heart and I get frustrated and act out but she treats me like Im a idiot. My real father does not even know me, but is one of the most judgmental people on the planet. My sister is an academic leader of the freaking state, and grades , school work means everything to her. I am flunked out of math almost, withdraw ed and I am not the best student.

My mother just got done saying to me

"If you were intelligent..."

As if I need an improvement, if I could get her in here, if I could get my whole family in here, where I can type , take time to think I would put them all under the table at once...I would murder them with my wit.

She does not believe in my ability to write poetry or intelligent papers, she does not believe I am intelligent. I want to think I am , I really do but my whole family treats me like the dumb one.

No one in the world knows me as well as I wish they did. I can not even go to talk to that one good friend that I dont have anymore, who did not die well.

I got the Ninja Turtles cartoon for my 20th birthday...think about that. She does not even think I am intelligent enough for real items, well she sometimes does. Its just that I do not care about anything anymore, I am put down . Been this way for years, I do not believe in myself so I stoped caring about how neat my room was, how un-organized I am, I just dont care anymore. My brothers and sisters excel and I am just there. I know I could prove the paranormal sciences, and other such things but I just do not feel it anymore in myself. It is as if they have won and I have lost. It is hard to tell yourself one thing when the rest of the world disagrees, aside from all my teachers who say Im intelligent.

I hate the way my family thinks of me and I just do not like the sort of awkward and screwed up relationship it is. I...I dont know what more to say right now.

Expect that most of you are prob too young to help me anyways.
 

Danica Syer

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Wow, I know how you feel in ways....I give you credit for trying help you out with my problem, seeing how your in a tough situation...so you want to be an art teacher soon right? Doesn't she understand that art is something intelligent but not in the school-smart way but a different way, anyway, I forgot...but yeah, maybe your accomplishments in art might show her. I'm not sure what to say but now that I heard your story, I can somewhat relate to you in a way...don't worry, you'll find the light...and if your a christian, why not pray but then again, maybe not....well that's all I can say for now. Hope somebody post something here besides I.
 

dr.korytco

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I can tell that you are intelligent for realizing art is an intelligent formulation also that you understand the greatness of a religion and are open minded to the power of that religion.

Thanks for your insight. I only advize others because A. it makes me fell good.
B. I have been through it myself and love others to help one another.

Do not feel like I did you a favor haha or that either of us are selfish for seeking and getting help. It is logic that if we help one another we will both be better , stronger in life.
 

iloveyou502

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Battling my inner demons....and winning thank you
Expect that most of you are prob too young to help me anyways.

That's not true I feel the same way sometimes, but that's all im going to say because I dont want to make this about me.

There are some people in your life that you just have to block out. People say that blood is thicker than water but I dont believe that. Family are just normal people too, it just so happens that you live with them. My mother sounds just like yours. And I used to respond and argue but now I just hold my tongue and block her out. At first it was really difficult, but after awhile it became easier and easier to not listen.
Im fourteen so I have to deal with her, but you sound old enough that you dont. So if your mother and stepfather or your whole family is having this type of effect on you then you simply need to resist what they're saying ( doing ) or take them out of your life. It may be hard cuz it's family, but you might be better off.
I hope you feel better.
 

Duality

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Well, were the people you lost lovers or friends? Because if they were friends, my condolences. If she was your lover, then my deepest condolences. For if the latter were the case, you would have little hope (except in God, if you believe; if not, I'll stay away from it). If the latter is not the case, you will always have hope to find that person, that person whom you will love. Even if every person you know right now thinks you are socially retarded, you haven't tested everyone ;) So still more chances. Someone will find the light.

With your family. It really does suck that they do not appreciate the greatness of arts and its intelligence. I am a mathematics student and would presumably think arts is idiotic. But I have a great appreciation for arts (both visual and written) and its ability to decompose the human soul/emotions into tangible elements. So do not be discouraged, be wary of intellectual arrogance (it plagues everyone who is intelligent). Just trudge along with your studies (the ones you are interested in). The complexity of your family is a hard problem to tackle. Just try doing some basic things like tidying up, doing some work. Even if your family doesn't appreciate the arts, they will appreciate your work ethic (I hope).

Apathy is not an attribute that will take anyone far. Your lack of caring (while understandable) is no excuse for your giving up on your talents. Determination, and passion for the things you enjoy will prove your intelligence. But do not write and excel to prove yourself to the world/family/brothers/sister. Write and create to show yourself what you are capable of. To extend beyond your presumed abilities. If your talent is wasted, you might as well not have had it all.

I wish you all the best.
 

Duality

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you claim that everyone else is not 'intellectual' and blame them for your own problems?

Clearly not a statement for help & support. Violent_anger, please be considerate that the person is seeking advice and not critique. Even if you think critique is necessary, please provide it in a more positive manner since again, this is the help and support section.
 

dr.korytco

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you claim that everyone else is not 'intellectual' and blame them for your own problems?
There they go again. I am not blaming them for anything that I would call my own problems.I do not think anything is wrong with me in this conversation, I am saying that there are things wrong with them. SImply because they are not being open minded, I am being caring of them and wishing they were better...nothing sinister. I guess you belong on the list for having such narrow assumptions when you are prob capable of so much more.
 
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powerofhearts

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I understand you. I am treated like a person not only controlled by emotion but controlled by realtionship. People don't think im smart enough to make my own decsions and you know what that really pisses me off. How dare they make judgement om me and my skin color. They no nothing of what we have to go through and they think they can surpass me. People make fun of how I speak and how I act. People think they have the right To pass judgement on someone. Calling them idiots or stupid. My mind is so much more superior to the people that have to deal with on the daily basis. And what do they do... Judge me. People wnat to throw statictics at me and tell me that i won't amount to anytyhing. That ill end up on the streets just because Im black. That i won't graduate from high school because im black. HOW DARE YOU. People have no idea what other HUMAN BIENGS have to go through when they go home... How they may not have enough to eat... No where to put there head at night. And they want to judge... What nerve. You are not an idiot. The people that pass judgement onto you are idiots. The ones that do not want to belive that you are a human bieng but instead something that they can make fun are the ones that are the idiots. You are a beautiful person that exists for a purpose. Don't let people tell you otherwise.
 

Danica Syer

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Just ignore the ones who question you/talk down to you and yeah, I get what you mean.... and I like to give people advice though there at times I do need to seek advice. So that's another great thing about you, I could come up to you for advice!
 

Joy

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Yeah, well, you're going to have to learn that sooner or later, being the victim is soemthing that needs to be done away with.

Have you talked to your parents, your friends, etc. and explained to them this? Have you taken into your own hands to prove them wrong? I do not know. But, you must understand, if you do no act, no results will come of it.

If your step-father is one of those "hard working" men, (if you understand what I mean), I'm not sure if he'd understand you wanting to write or become involved in art. Hell, I'm not sure if anyone would, but that's life. You just have to prove to them you are intelligent, instead of sulking. Actions speak louder than words, my friend.
 

dr.korytco

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Thank you all again, to make this short I will just say that I read it all or most of it and shall read the rest soon. Thank You. I will not be a victim anymore, yes, every once in a while we just need to talk ya know.
 

Joy

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Also... I would like to add that even though they are not being open minded, you have to tkae part in the fault here as well. You are not putting yourself in their shoes, nor are you helpins them understand. So, blame goes everywhere.
 

dr.korytco

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I do understand , I feel hopeless because I can not do anything about it , and I am being faced with the complete challenge of understanding why they feel as they do, that is what makes me feel like this. That is why I seek outside help, but if you wish for me to take the blame, I would suggest that I be more responsible in learning to express myself better.

Thank you.
 

Joy

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lol, beat ya to it, VA.

And dude, it can be fixed. You just have to take action, which would not include you freaking out. That doesn't work ><
 

dr.korytco

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don't you think you're giving yourself too much credit? the bold part sounds a lot like blaming.





....damn you time!!!!

Whatever you want to believe is your right and what you do not understand is left for others to. I am not blaming anyone, I do not live life blaming others. It is all just a misunderstanding sort of what we have here. I get frustrated over the misunderstanding that is all. I do not nail cause and effect to anyone in particular in FACT I blame myself if I was to blame anyone. I am the way I am and others do not understand me well so I blame myself. The debate here is stupid , because it is just you twisting things. Those are my real feelings if you want to help then choose a different topic because the facts are now out and I blame myself if I was to blame anyone, the rest of it all simply is as it is and I blame no one for being as they were meant to be. If I was to blame someone I would blame myself logically because I am the only that can change me in the end.

End of story , have a nice day , come again , thank you.
 

dr.korytco

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contradictions contraaaaaaaadiiiiiiiiiict
I can see things wrong with others, that does not mean I blame them for there faults.
Everything is as it is meant to be . I clearly state that it is a misunderstanding that gets me frustrated . No one is being blamed .

If I was to blame anyone it would be myself

LOGICALLY If you were to blame anyone it would be all of us equally or perhaps me.

So can we get off the high horse and blame wagon yet?

Just because they are not perfect that also does not mean that they are the source for all of my problems or that I put them to the full blame, that is totally unlogical I blame myself more than I do them.

After all Im here asking advice about me not my family members, so how in the old of brilliant hypotheses did you hypothesize that I blame them....*crickets*

I said nothing was wrong with me in this subject but I am far more perfect and no one is perfect so we are none of us without blame.
 
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tetraalmasy

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ninja turtles rock despite your age.

did you ever try having that "i'm not a child anymore" talk with her?
would it be possible to prove your "intelligence" or even "adulthood-ness" by moving out?


youth is a very important thing to me, so I really don't understand where you're comming from, sorry I can't help.


I would also like to add that it's not very "intelligent" to NOT take any course of action.
 

dr.korytco

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Who said I was actionless? I am trying to take action, I thought someone just might have a better plan of action that I have been taking . Or to inspire .
 
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