NO MORE! WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ME?!



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Howler

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GRRR!!!! That is it! I'm done with trying to defend people! Lets rewind to a few days back. My friend Liz at school has a boyfriend named Tyler. Liz is far beyond over-protective of him. Yet if Tyler were to touch me or my friends and we tell him to stop, Liz wouldn't care. If me or my friends touch Tyler, she would throw a fit! Tyler is an annoying jerk to people who can't keep his face an inch from another person's face. Well during lunch, Tyler took Liz's lunch and ate it which pissed her off and she got mad at him. After that, they began to fight, I stood up and told Tyler, "Leave Liz alone! She hasn't done anything to you! Leave her alone or leave!" Then Liz got mad at ME. For defending HER! WTF?!?! Liz yelled at me and I got up and left the lunch room. My OLDER brother even yelled at me today saying he didn't love me for not giving him MY video game....Is there something wrong with me to where it causes people to hate me? I make people mad all the time and I don't know why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

VoidGear.

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Breathe, Howler.
First of all, if your friend Liz doesn't want help, she'll have to learn herself that this guy might not be good for her. She got mad at you because she has feelings for him and even though she was mad, she instinctly felt the need to stand by his side. That sometimes happens. I know not caring about anyone anymore isn't that easy, but if she acts like this towards you, she doesn't deserve to be your friend, period. You might try to talk this over with her and tell her friendly that you didn't think that was okay. Her reaction will tell you how to continue with the friendship.
Also about your brother: Talking is the best way to settle this as well. Tell him it hurt you and that you don't think it's okay he says something like that because of a video game. Say it kindly, but seriously - there's no fun in that and telling someone you don't love them because of a game is awful.
But that doesn't mean it's because something is wrong with you or anything. We all have our mistakes and problems. Talking them over is often a good way to settle things.
 

Muke

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First of all, I sure hope you and Liz will be friends again!

also, don't worry about your brother. I have/d brothers myself and I know how siblings are, haha. If one gets mad at another, they yell. I do it all the time, lol. I'm sure you amd your brother will be fine again. Just give him some time.

Also, I think you should tell Liz that she hurt you with what she did.

I hope this helps you! ^^'
 

Howler

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^ Thanks guys. But this is how Liz has acted ALL THE TIME. This little fight we had has happened more than once. Yet I don't want to break her heart because she's really sweet. But she isn't when Tyler is around. Tyler also said he hates her, AND she usually tells him to back off. Then they both forget about it and go back to being lovers. All my friends really hate how Tyler is changing Liz, and I want it to stop. I try to tell her that what she does hurts me, but you don't know Liz as well as I do. SHE DOESN'T CARE. My brother on the other hand, he'll get over it, but we fight basically all the time. Sorry, I can never really be specific. :(
 

VoidGear.

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Sorry, it's just really hard for me to understand how you can call a person that doesn't seem to care about hurting you that they're "sweet" and a friend.
Losing someone isn't nice, but keeping up a friendship where one person is anything but a friend..is only going to hurt you more and more.
 

Howler

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Das stimmt! She's sweet in other ways though. But depends on how bad a situation is. If it has anything to do with her boyfriend, she won't care what we think. You're right Void, you're absolutely right.
 

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Howler,

You did the right thing for standing up for Liz. However, when Liz started fighting with Tyler, you shouldn't have interfered. The reason I say this is because, Liz might feel the need to defend herself instead of relying on someone else to do her battles for her. The fact that she got pissed off at Tyler for eating her lunch would've been something for Liz to work out for herself against Tyler, because couples fight all of the time. Secondly, she might not of been really mad at Tyler for eating her lunch; so you stepping in and her defending him like that, probably means it's the latter that got Liz upset at you.

Furthermore, your brother being upset over a game is really immature of him unless he's like five years old. Just lend him the game. That should clear things up between you two.

And nothing is wrong with you. What VoidGear said should be taken to heart on that matter.
 

Muke

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^ Thanks guys. But this is how Liz has acted ALL THE TIME. This little fight we had has happened more than once. Yet I don't want to break her heart because she's really sweet. But she isn't when Tyler is around. Tyler also said he hates her, AND she usually tells him to back off. Then they both forget about it and go back to being lovers. All my friends really hate how Tyler is changing Liz, and I want it to stop. I try to tell her that what she does hurts me, but you don't know Liz as well as I do. SHE DOESN'T CARE. My brother on the other hand, he'll get over it, but we fight basically all the time. Sorry, I can never really be specific. :(
Trust me, I know exactly how you feel.

You should let everything rest during the weekend -- belief me, stop thinking about Liz and you will get better in no time (Ik it's easier said than done, but still).

If Liz won't apologize to you (in school or something), she is a bad friend and you should really consider (sorry for putting it like this D:) breaking your friendship. I did it too, and I felt so relieved.
 

Howler

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I know, I just hate it when he abuses her! *Sigh* I didn't tell the truth, but now I want to and I'm sorry... Liz wasn't fighting back, but she was mad though. She never fights back because it's not because she loves him, she's afraid to. I told him that eating her lunch was uncalled for when he had ate his own lunch already. Tyler tried stealing the rest of Liz's food she didn't get to eat and I tried taking it back to give to her. I told him to give them back to her and leave her alone, but he refused. That's when Liz yelled at me. Sorry I said something completely different, I'm better saying it than typing it..... Now I'm telling the truth.
 

VoidGear.

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I know, I just hate it when he abuses her! *Sigh* I didn't tell the truth, but now I want to and I'm sorry... Liz wasn't fighting back, but she was mad though. She never fights back because it's not because she loves him, she's afraid to. I told him that eating her lunch was uncalled for when he had ate his own lunch already. Tyler tried stealing the rest of Liz's food she didn't get to eat and I tried taking it back to give to her. I told him to give them back to her and leave her alone, but he refused. That's when Liz yelled at me. Sorry I said something completely different, I'm better saying it than typing it..... Now I'm telling the truth.
Is she afraid to because she thinks he'd hurt her or because she fears he'll leave her?
Because if it's the first, you should seriously consider taking action in asking adults to settle that. That's nothing to keep quiet about.
 

VoidGear.

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She fears he'll leave her.
I see.
Now that's a problem in many relationships. Even if they suck (and if you're afraid of your partner and permanently fight, it SUCKS), it is something you can cling to. Even if you'd be better off without that significant other, you cling to them like you'd die if they left.
Maybe she needs to know that her friends will be there for her even if he isn't anymore or..something like that.
 

Chuman

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tyler is a douchebag. liz may need your support, so stand by her, but if you suffer as a result then don't.

your brother,- let me guess, he's younger? being a little dickhead. my brother used to be the same way. i'd say tell your parents but that usually only makes things worse.

i don't think everybody hates you howler, you just caught a couple bad breaks. here's hoping everything works out for you.
 

KingdomKey

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I know, I just hate it when he abuses her! *Sigh* I didn't tell the truth, but now I want to and I'm sorry... Liz wasn't fighting back, but she was mad though. She never fights back because it's not because she loves him, she's afraid to. I told him that eating her lunch was uncalled for when he had ate his own lunch already. Tyler tried stealing the rest of Liz's food she didn't get to eat and I tried taking it back to give to her. I told him to give them back to her and leave her alone, but he refused. That's when Liz yelled at me. Sorry I said something completely different, I'm better saying it than typing it..... Now I'm telling the truth.
If this the case, you really need to tell your counselor or principal about this, because being abused in a relationship is wrong. And you can request to be anonymous, so Liz doesn't know you tried to help her out of the abusive relationship she's in. I'm not sure how far they'll take it to prevent her from going out with Tyler. And I can't promise this will end all at once, because it equally depends on the parents stepping in. And Liz, she really shouldn't be clinging onto someone with her whole being when there's a whole world to explore and potential relationships to follow. What she has is completely unhealthy. She may not thank whoever prevented her from being in a relationship with Tyler, because that takes time to undo, but she will when she regains her senses at some point. Otherwise, you may have to just let Liz come to terms of it on her own to break it off and be by her side, when she does.

Your welcome, Howler. I hope it helps a little.
 

FudgemintGuardian

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Firstly, you did nothing wrong in defending Liz. Tyler has done crap before according to you and he sounds like a very controlling, abusive person who's seeing how much he can get away with. However, while Liz does get mad at him, her infatuation with Tyler appears to me that any attack towards him she feels is also towards her, which could be why she yelled at you after you defended her.

As KitKat said, please tell your counselor or principal about this. This is an abusive situation and it will escalate if not stopped.

As for your brother, unless he's two he has no excuse for such immature behavior.
 

Howler

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^ It does help, it helps a LOT. Thank you, I will see what I can do and try to remain friends with her. I'm tired of Tyler being a b*tch to my friend and changing her! But yet... she doesn't want to leave him. I don't see what she loves about him so much when he acts like this! Hopefully everything will change soon enough.

Also, sorry this is the only time I'll double post. But my brother is 16.
 
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Chuman

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Also, sorry this is the only time I'll double post. But my brother is 16.
so is he older than you?

even so, he's too goddamn immature. my brother was the same way until a year or so ago and he's 16 so i get what you're dealing with. really no way to take care of it until he matures on his own.
 

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Feh. Considering that I've seen relationships where the girl stayed even after her boyfriend straight-up beat her, your friend's case isn't very unbelievable.
Like Fudge said, it's best to report this to the principal or other adults and possibly get them to intervene. It's difficult to solve this by trying to just reason with your friend, because frankly infatuation makes people quite unreasonable. As you've seen.

As for your brother, siblings can be losers who say a lot of stuff that they don't truly mean. My brother has screamed about how much he hates me, how he would destroy all my valuables, and how he would totally kill me over the stupidest things. Happens to all of us, right?
 

Howler

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Chuman, you're right. He is vey immature. And *sigh* Yes, he older than me. 2 years older than me!

(I can't edit posts) Well, that's already my plan to tell someone. But then Tyler acts all "innocent" an they both would tell them nothing's wrong. Liz doesn't want to put her baby in harms way... B[
 
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