Help/Support ► Need more advice...

[UnknownEnigma]

OK well first off to summarize the background. Me and my best friend, friends for about 11 12 years, first love crush whatever we're best friends but recently its been rocky. Well it sorta started when i reazlied this was an unfair friendship. i mean she could come to me for anything from crying to boredom but if i had to go to her it would be a different story. i mean...what? so i told her about it and after assuring her nothing was ending we just need to improve she says its my fault because i seem to not emit any emotion and im like a better listener than talker but..hey i feel liek talking sometimes.....so now we go to here and i was supposed to go to her recital. 10 minutes before she tells me i cant come. so im like oh ok...so i go online i have an email from her saying she found it on her comp and thought id like a laugh. in her story i am her saftey blanket...SAFTELY BLANKET! i didnt know what it meant at first but after i got it im like oh...so im being used (yeah everyone gets used but...this is to much) so i got ticked and have not talked to her for awhile. she says she misses me and such and then figures im mad at her but NEVER asks why im mad. i find that sad because she doesnt even care. SO i seek other advice and i get told some stuff...such as i am insulted about the blanket comment because i have stronger feelings for her then friend and i dont wanna be known as that to her, i dont agree with this psh come on me? like her? haha, or i say blanket is like dog===keeps you safe, warm, go to for comfort and youre practically theirs for their own needs but they say im taking ti wrong that its like i do things for her because i care. so yeah ive been pretty lost lately and dont know what to do. pretty much painful throughout this whole thing but i dont know i thoought some folks around here could lend a bit of guidance? hope this all made sense


>>>>didnt know there was a catgory for these problems! someone please send to the help support place lol sorry<<<

 

[Tyler Durden]

yeah, this is almost ALWAYS a problem like this when a boy and a girl ar best friends. The boy wants to become more, but the girl either doesn't like the guy like that or she lies about her own feelings.

Sorry, but not much I can do to help you. If she doesn't listen, that's her fault. If you STILL listen, it's yours.

But just call her up, say why you are angry/upset, and then just talk about it for awhile.

She'll probably start saying some romantic crap about how she hid behind other people because she wasn't sure how you fealt, blah blah blah. All she would be doing is saying she did the same thing you did.

Which would make you feel better, and then you should ask her out.

 

[MosesMohs]

hm...

She's confusing.

I'd dump her. She sounds like my friend. Only comes to you when she gets something out of it.

Just try and slowly fall out of this love/crush with her. It may be hard but she's using you. No one deserves that.

 

[UnknownEnigma]

well dark hero riku i actually got a chuckle out of you. you make it sound so..common and i think it is, but that last 2 part of your post doesnt seem to enlightening....hm. and moses she is VERY confusing and i actually think more than the usual girl. i dontt want to think but i do think shes sorta the reason i dont go for other girls , but she says she doesnt come to me for just that for other stuff and all and well no i see it otherwise. thanks you two for replying for some reason not too many pepople reply!

 

[Tyler Durden]

^^okay...

What I was saying was that you should talk to her, explain how you feel, and try to make things right. Normally then she'll say that she had feelings for you too and then you won't have anything to worry about.

And basically said was

'Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me'

and you did NOT win the scavenger hunt, you got second. There is a difference.

 

[UnknownEnigma]

lol funny how tht one admin i belive monkey guy, sorry forgot his name, did that so i had nothing to do with that lol.

and ya i guessill tlk to her. shes playing hard to get now by now anwsering anything but i guess this is worth the tries

 

[Little_Red]

OK well first off to summarize the background. Me and my best friend, friends for about 11 12 years, first love crush whatever we're best friends but recently its been rocky. Well it sorta started when i reazlied this was an unfair friendship. i mean she could come to me for anything from crying to boredom but if i had to go to her it would be a different story. i mean...what? so i told her about it and after assuring her nothing was ending we just need to improve she says its my fault because i seem to not emit any emotion and im like a better listener than talker but..hey i feel liek talking sometimes.....so now we go to here and i was supposed to go to her recital. 10 minutes before she tells me i cant come. so im like oh ok...so i go online i have an email from her saying she found it on her comp and thought id like a laugh. in her story i am her saftey blanket...SAFTELY BLANKET! i didnt know what it meant at first but after i got it im like oh...so im being used (yeah everyone gets used but...this is to much) so i got ticked and have not talked to her for awhile. she says she misses me and such and then figures im mad at her but NEVER asks why im mad. i find that sad because she doesnt even care. SO i seek other advice and i get told some stuff...such as i am insulted about the blanket comment because i have stronger feelings for her then friend and i dont wanna be known as that to her, i dont agree with this psh come on me? like her? haha, or i say blanket is like dog===keeps you safe, warm, go to for comfort and youre practically theirs for their own needs but they say im taking ti wrong that its like i do things for her because i care. so yeah ive been pretty lost lately and dont know what to do. pretty much painful throughout this whole thing but i dont know i thoought some folks around here could lend a bit of guidance? hope this all made sense


>>>>didnt know there was a catgory for these problems! someone please send to the help support place lol sorry<<<

i think this is a pretty good example of a "fair-weather" friend. (that's when they need help, you help them. then when you need help they make themselves scarce).

just tell her why you're mad. If that doesn't work, trying back handing her (only kidding about that part). just tell her how you feel don't be like Sora (because Sora is an idiot, and Kairi is too old fashioned)

 

[Lynsey]

UnknownEnigma, obviously I can't even begin to understand an 11-12 year relationship by just a paragraph post on a forum, but I will offer you this advice:

In any relationship, friendship, romantic or otherwise, each person should be giving and recieving the same. If you are putting all your effort into "saving" the relationship, and your friend is only around when they need help, it's obviously not a healthy relationship. Like you said, it's an unfair relationship. And she knows it, if she's calling you her "safety blanket."

It's not worth your time and effort to save the friendship if she's not willing to do the same. Granted, you have a history together, but you completely deserve to go out and find someone who wants to make new memories with you!

I hope everything works out for you! Keep your distance from her, and she'll get the point that you're not interested in being friends if you're not treated fairly.

Feel free to PM me if you need anything ^_^;

 

[UnknownEnigma]

^^^hm.....i have been keeping distance which has been terribly hard i mean im actually in pain over her thinking and all but i know its a process and its natural to think this so im just letting it out of my system. we did talk though and well not much was cleared up though she did say i should emit my emotions more....true on the unfair part and yeah safety blanket isnt needed! my good friend wouldve been better....i think. anyway yeah she better get the trating fairly part...you should sit us down and chat with us hah jk but yeah thanks lynsey and all who posted (for some reason everyone looks but doesnt post?)

 

[UnknownEnigma]

well for a update she IMed me and we talked. turned out to be a normal conversation....then she asked if ive thought about it more, i said wouldnt it be best if we move on. so she agrees and we do and yeah the end. i sense somehting there still but oh well i guess i got my closure and i can move on!

 

[pk para]

thanks lynsey and all who posted (for some reason everyone looks but doesnt post?)

It's because not everyone knows what to say, but they like to help (which is why they read through this part of the board).

Anyways, I hope that everything works out well for you =].