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Myth-world (rewritten)



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Nutari

The Scotsman
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Prologue:
It was a beautiful Autumn night. It was ruffly forty-five degrees out side, with a slight breeze. It was peaceful. Almost. The only thing that disturbed the peacefulness was a crow sitting on an unseasonably dead tree. It was staring at a house. The house that held the worlds soon to be hero. The crow looked up to the sky and screamed; KAW! It unfurled its wings and took off toward the dark forest.​

The crow landed next to a body. A body of an elderly man. It looked to be a hunter who had been mauled, but by what? Even the crow was unnerved. A dark figure lumbered out of the trees. The figure stumbled as if it were injured. It stepped out into the moonlight and howled at the moon. There was a strange message in the howl. Were am I? One second I was hunting and the next I'm in a strange world with fur less creatures with exploding sticks that make pain. Were is my family? There was an answer. An almost inaudible answer.
What pack are you with?
The figure answered; What do you mean pack?
There was no answer. The figure walked into a clearing. It looked as if it were a man but, it had the features of a wolf. A Werewolf as humans call it. It was scared, confused and inevitably dangerous.​

Andrew woke with a start. He could have sworn he heard howling, but wolves don't live around these parts he thought. He had a perfect view of the clearing behind his house. Standing dead in the center of the clearing was a tall figure. He was howling at the moon. Andrew started to panic.
"Either I ate a bowl of crazy flakes before I went to bed and they're making me hallucinate, or I am going insane" he mumbled. This wasn't the first time he had seen these strange things before. Last month he saw a 'man horse' in the field. Or so he thought. Andrew crept out of his room and grabbed his coat, hunting gun, and he slipped on his shoes. He crept out the back door. The figure stopped howling. It looked down at Andrew. Andrew started walking faster. The creature did the same, it walked toward Andrew. Soon they were ten feet from each other. The moon had been blocked by a cloud but the cloud had blown over. Andrew saw the creature eye to eye.​

He screamed. The Werewolf bared its fangs a lunged. But it suddenly stopped. I reeled in fear.
It pointed at Andrew's neck.
"That, were did you get that amulet?" it growled. Andrew was in shock it actually spoke. English.
"This, I found it" Andrew said cautiously.
"Were?" the Werewolf growled.
"In the forest" Andrew answered.
"In Between the willow trees?" the Werewolf asked.
"Yea why?"
The Werewolf lunged at him and ripped the gun out of Andrew's hands, before he could move. The Werewolf picked Andrew up and tossed him in the air. He fell back to the ground with a thud. Andrew wasn't moving. He was breathing but not moving. He was unconscious. The Werewolf walked over to him and scooped him up and draped Andrew over it's shoulder. It was going home, and taking the chosen one with him.
____________________________________________________________________________________​

Andrew and I have been friends for as long as I could remember. I'm not sure how we met. I think the thing that stood the most about us was that we both had the same necklace. Don't ask me why but we both found them in the woods in between two willow trees. Weird huh? Anyway my name is Selina. I'm fourteen, extremely hot, if I say so myself. I have cat like eyes (which is unusual since my parents don't have that feature) and I have pointed ears. But the weird thing is that those cat eyes and pointed ears change whenever I put on the necklace, my ears unpoint, and my eyes turn 'normal'. But I'm need to find Andrew the world might depend on me finding him...​

Selina was sound asleep. Through her open window the slight breeze, came in. With it the sound of a screaming crow, made her wake with a start. She got up and looked out her window. Something was wrong. The field behind her house was disturbed. She wasn't sure but that crow sounded worried. Then she saw it. A body fly into the air, then hit the ground. She saw a figure lumber to the body that flew into the air. It picked up the body and took off toward the forest. But Selina was already out the door dialing Andrew's cell. She would need his help. He didn't pick up. She dialed again. No answer. She screamed in frustration and ran after the figure.​

When she got to the forest she heard howling. She knew that wolves don't live here. Something was up. She went in and found her way to the willow trees. That was the dead center of the woods. She looked around and saw the lumbering figure with the body in its arms. She also saw a dead hunter. What is this thing? she thought
"Hey!" Selina yelled. The figure dropped the body and whipped around to look at her. It backed up against the willow tree on the left. She pulled out her cell and dialed Andrew's number.
BRING! BRING! BRING! That's Andrew's ring tone. Then the horror struck her. That body was Andrew. She ran over to the body, and the Lumbering figure moved away from her. She bent down and checked his pulse. He was alive.
"What a relief" she whispered.
"Selina" Andrew mumbled.
"Yea?" she asked.
"That figure, its a Werewolf be careful, OK?"
Just then the Werewolf lunged, again. It bashed Selina in the back of the head with its elbow.
WHACK! Selina dropped to the ground. The Werewolf walked over to them.
"You two do not belong here, you are one of the fantasies that these humans thought don't exist" he bent over and picked them up. He layed them down in between the two trees. He ripped the necklaces from their necks and howled. The pendents began to glow. The willow trees sparkled and there was a flash and they were gone.​

The prologue is done!​

Book 1: The Dethroning of Anubis​

Enter- Andrew- Chapter 1: Anubis​

"Put me down!" Selina screamed. We were both kicking and yelling.
"Shut up!" the Werewolf snapped. "You will wake my master"
"I don't CARE!" I yelled.
"Master? I have found something that you should see" the Werewolf growled.
"I thought you said he was asleep?" Selina mumbled. He shoved us forward. We fell at the foot of a huge throne. Up until that point the room was dark. Then the room exploded with light. From the candles placed throughout the room. It was huge. It looked like an Egyptian tomb. And on the throne was a black dog-man. He looked like an Egyptian God known as Anubis.
"What is this? You disturbed me to tell me that you found two children?" he barked. The Werewolf threw our amulets at Anubis' feet. "They had these" he said.
Anubis picked them up.
"Well, these are very peculiar. The last 'heroes' had these same amulets. They failed their mission. What makes u think u can stop me?"
"Whoa, wait we just found these in a forest" I blurted.
"Well then your not in a very good position right now" Anubis laughed.
"Why can't you just let us go?" Selina cried.
"I am feeling generous today. Maybe I will on what condition"
"What would that be?" I asked.
"That you tell me your heritage"
"Were Ameiricans, duh" Selina said.
"What? Never heard of it. Roran fetch the indisguise serum" the Werewolf left and a few moments later came back with a bowl in his hands. He walked over to us and sprinkled it on our faces. I felt all dizzy. I looked at Selina and her features turned into her elf like eyes, and ears.
"So the girls an elf" Anubis announced.
I began to feel chage. I suddenly got warmer. I looked at my arms and saw that fur was on them. I felt powerful. I howled.
"The boys a Werewolf hybrid" he announced. A what?
"Drink this" Roran splashed something into my mouth. Everything went black.
_____________________________________​
 
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Lectori Salutem

secretly sadistic
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Jun 15, 2007
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Not where you are, obviously...
Now it looks like I commented two times about one chapter/prologue^^

Anyways, most of the prologue is written from a third persons point of view, but at some points you suddenly switch to first person... That's kind of confusing, so it's better if you don't do that! Not bad fro the rest, although there's definitely room for improvement ^^
 

Nutari

The Scotsman
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Well i ment to do third person but first person happened. sorry, but i think i might switch when the villians are being read about...
 

Nyangoro

Break the Spell
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It's interesting. You may want to proofread it again. I notice a couple of things. For instance, you use "ruffly" when it should be "roughly" (even though, in the context, those words would be best left out altogether). Another time, you used the article "A" when you should have used "The." I believe that was the sentence "A body of an elderly man." There was also another time when you said "a" when you meant to say "and."

It was mostly little things like that. Not to huge a deal since this is just a prologue (best to fix it up as soon as you can).

Keep it up!
 
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