My Psyche Is Broken. Help Me



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Nyangoro

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I'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with you (at least not to the extent that you need some sort of medical/therapeutic help).

Honestly, if anything, it just sounds like you're getting more cynical; which, considering your age, is pretty common. Mesh that with an introverted (and probably phlegmatic) personality type, and none of what you've written surprises me.

And even if it did "surprise" me, it certainly doesn't "shock" me. I don't think you're feeling anything that plenty others in your/our generation haven't been through.

So basically, I'm pretty sure you're fine. But hell, I'm not a psychotherapist or anything of the sort. So if you really think that there's something wrong with you, go get some professional help. It's simply my opinion that, based on what you've written, it's probably not necessary.
 

Taylor

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Well, obviously harboring homicidal thoughts is treading a fine, fine line, but like Nyangoro said, you might just be getting more cynical. It could just be a phase you're going through that you have to work out because I think the harder you force yourself to try and like people or go back to how you were, the worse off you're going to end up. In the end, it's about just slowly accepting people. Everyone in this world has faults. Everyone. And a lot of the time it's going to be difficult to understand why we should give others a chance, especially when you see the terrible things some people do to others. But you have to understand that behind those obvious faults are a lot of reasons to love that person. To be their friend and get to know them. Don't force yourself to try and welcome their flaws with their good assets; just slowly re-open yourself to the idea of people again.
 

Oracle Spockanort

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You should step away from looking those topics up. You're going to not want to ever sleep and it is a self-destructive process, and the idea is to eliminate any extra sources of anxiety.

Try and remember what it was like when you didn't feel this way, and try to observe when and how these changes began. Try and interact with people more but start out small, hanging out with people you're comfortable with and let them introduce people to you. Don't be afraid to visit a counselor or psychologist at your school. Counseling services are offered free and while it sounds unsettling to do because you might worry they will reaffirm your own concerns, they can offer better help than we really can. Don't close yourself off, and remember that even if you feel like you can't do the things you were able to before it is perfectly fine to go at your own pace.

Most people who have mental health issues have long since exhibited abnormal symptoms since they were young, but you say this is a recent change you've noticed so you are probably okay. Everybody develops anxieties (you might not identify it as an anxiety, but it is) in their lifetime and experiences bouts of behavior like this. I really do suggest setting up a counseling session at your school, though. You recognize this might be a problem for you, so do not be afraid to seek professional help.
 
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At your college, there should be a professional available to talk about these issues with, for free and relatively anonymously. Find that person(s) out and talk to them, probably through the health office. There's no reason not to, and I personally feel that the feelings you're talking about are worth sharing with someone in a position to understand and help.

Edit: Master Spockanort beat me to it. Repeat what she said.
 

Reagan Rayden

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As with the other comments above on cynicism being normal, my best friends both live in different cities (same state, but it's fairly difficult to get together more than once or twice a year), so that's not something that you can really fix. I still converse with them online usually a few times a week and play games online with them. I don't really know how else besides planning something to do with them to be able to keep in touch with them.
 
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