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Fanfiction ► My Poems



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Aceflyheight

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Joined
Mar 14, 2006
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902
Location
Mississippi in the United States.
Well, I kind of seriously suck at writing poems, but some friends of mine thought that I should try to get some feedback on them. I know that they might be crappy, but I hope that I can at least get some helpful advice on what to do better from now on.

Here's my first one that I wrote a while back when I first finished Kingdom Hearts. Sorry, if it's kind of long, but I was impressed with other people's Kingdom Hearts poems, and well...Let's just say that it came out long, because I could not get my muse to shut up the whole time.

Kingdom Hearts

It was so unfair
Why was he chosen
Why wasn’t it me
I was always the stronger one
He always looked up to me
But I guess that it was my fault
That he was chosen, and not me
My heart wavered when the darkness came
But his heart stayed strong and then
He was given true power
Power that I felt that I needed
To continue to be the stronger one.

He journeyed through worlds
Giving his power to others
While I was being maniplated
I had chosen to become a puppet
Because I thought that would lead me
To true power
But I was wrong
My heart became shrouded in darkness
And I began to drown
In my own power.

As I was drowning
He appeared wielding that power
To try to save me
But I was too far in darkness to be saved
He wouldn’t accept that fact
So he decided to still try
We fought and he won
He then sacrificed himself
To save our sister.

As I drifted into the darkness
I saw him disappear into the darkness as well
There was nobody left to help our sister
So I sacrificed my own soul
To guide her out of this place.

My spirit kept the darkness at bay
As she made her escape
But I noticed something
There was the faintest shadow of darkness
Following her the whole way
I realized who’s darkness it was
And I decided to let it go.

As I saw her leave
I saw the darkness that followed her change
Into the form of him
I always knew of their feelings
For one another
The feelings that brought him back
And I knew that it wouldn’t work for me.

I felt the darkness
Beginning to seep into my very soul
I tried to fight back
Because now I knew
That I truly wanted to be
With my brother and our sister
But I was too weak and I disappeared
Along with the darkness.

A short time later
I heard his voice
The voice of my brother
Crying out for help
As he fought the darkness
I decided that I would help him
But the power that I had before
Was now gone
All I could do was watch
I finally saw him win
And run towards where I was
But it was too late.

The door that kept us seperated
Was now opening and darkness
Was beginning to leak out
I saw my brother trying to open the door wider
To try to get to me
I shook my head at him
And then I began to close the door on myself
I couldn’t let this kind of power hurt anybody else
My brother finally gave in and began to help me
Before the door closed between us
I told my brother
“Take care of her.”

Thanks for reading everybody. Oh and yes, before anybody asks, this was the very first poem that I wrote. If anybody likes it, then I'll try to see if I can post my other ones on here.
 

Jopari

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Joined
May 28, 2007
Messages
805
You have the writing style of an epic poet. I'd definitely want to see more of your poems, but from just this one I can say that you have a fair amount of skill. I have a question for you though. Can you write in a structured format with rhythm and rhyme scheme, such as a sonnet?
 

Aceflyheight

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2006
Messages
902
Location
Mississippi in the United States.
Thanks for saying that, Jopari, even though I still don't believe that I'm that good. Well, I've never really been good at writing with rhythm or in rhyme schemes. I like to just write it down as it appears in my head, if it turns out to have a rhythm or something, then that's great. I don't try to actually make it rhyme or anything.

Oh, and I just finally dug up another of my poems that I wrote when I finished beating both Sora's Story and Riku's Reverse Rebirth on Chain of Memories. I tried for a different style on this one and I hope that it's as good as my epic poem.

It's kind of my viewpoint on memories being linked link chains, which COM dealt with.

Chain of Memories
Memories make you who you are
They bring you happiness, joy, anger, and sometimes sorrow
But what happens when your own memories betray you?
Do you run or do you confront the darkness in which your memories are hidden?

Memories are linked together by invisible chains
When you remember one, it will lead you to another
But, be careful of the chains of memories
Memories may be linked to one another by chains
But those chains can lead to false memories

To forget is to remember, and to remember is to forget
If you try too hard to remember, the memories will lead you astray
So while looking for your “true” memories, will you be freed
From all of the doubt and worry in your heart, and find the truth
Or will you be enslaved by your heart, a prisoner of your
Chain of memories and the truth that you seek?​
 
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