My Parents are getting a divorce



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Guernsey

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I am practically an adult now but it still irritates me and I do not want this to happen. My parents keep telling me conflicting stories about why they want to split up and I don't know which one to believe. My mom feels that my that is far too distant and my dad feels that he might not love her anymore. I do not want this to happen but I have no idea what to do or what to say, what should I do?
 

XIII Heartless

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I am practically an adult now but it still irritates me and I do not want this to happen. My parents keep telling me conflicting stories about why they want to split up and I don't know which one to believe. My mom feels that my that is far too distant and my dad feels that he might not love her anymore. I do not want this to happen but I have no idea what to do or what to say, what should I do?
Those don't sound like conflicting stories to me.

Regardless of their reasons, this is usually hard on any family. My folks split when I was a sophomore in high school (but had been building to that point since I'd been in elementary school). Honestly, there's not much you can do in this situation except continue to love and be there for both of them.

I'd only suggest saying what you need to say to the both of them.
 

Zettaflare

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I am practically an adult now but it still irritates me and I do not want this to happen. My parents keep telling me conflicting stories about why they want to split up and I don't know which one to believe. My mom feels that my that is far too distant and my dad feels that he might not love her anymore. I do not want this to happen but I have no idea what to do or what to say, what should I do?
I'm sorry to hear that. My folks just split up too recently. It came as such a shock to me. Unfortunately you can't just force them back together for many reasons. The best you can do is just love and be there for them.
 

ThePromise

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If they can't sit down and talk this out, then there's no hope for them at that point if divorce is threatened or promised. I'd suggest they get counseling of some kind or attempt to 'get away' for a week and try to take a small vacation, just the two of them, to try to rekindle what they feel they've lost. If they have no real interest in working through this, that's it.

Sorry, but as another said, you have no power here. You're not a child anymore so there's no 'staying together for the child'. Love them, be there. All you can do.
 

Reagan Rayden

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As with my parents splitting up, it is usually a mystery as to the exact reasonings as to why it is happening and in some cases it's better not to know why (after all was said and done I learned things that I rather wished I had not). Sometimes parent relationships just don't work out. After my parents split up my mom has never been happier. As for my dad on the other hand...that's a bit of a long story.

My point is that while it can suck more than anything you've experienced before it's not necessarily a completely bad end of the world kind of thing and some good can come out of it. Also, as stated above, there is very little if not nothing you can really do to stop it from happening.
 

WanPisu

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Sometimes it just might be the best thing to do for the parents. It'll get worse in the long-run. What you'll have to do is try to understand them and accept their decision, nothing else.
 

Guernsey

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What is irritating about all this is that they were married for over 26 years, they choose now to do this and it really angers me.
 

XIII Heartless

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What is irritating about all this is that they were married for over 26 years, they choose now to do this and it really angers me.
I get it, trust me. But whether they were married 3, 5, 10, 30+ years, these things happen bruh.

I can promise you it gets easier with time. I honestly kind of envy you. You're 26! I don't know your exact life situation, but you're either on your own, or about ready to be. As someone who still depends on his folks somewhat getting through college, it's not easy playing messenger between the two of them when things need to get done (they don't speak, at all). Part of the reason I'm so ready to graduate and be independent is I won't have to put up with that anymore.
 

Taochan

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My parents divorced when I was 13 and I couldn't have been happier, because they were miserable together.

You can't do anything to keep them together. This is their decision and if this is how they feel, it's better for them to divorce so they can be happy... because by the sound of it they clearly aren't happy together anymore.

The best thing you can do is to support them and reaffirm that you love them both because this is going to be very hard for them to go through. Hopefully they both handle it civilly and the divorce is clean.
 

KingdomKey

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Everyone else here pretty much covered it all before I could add in my two cents.

The simplest advice I can give you, that hasn't been entirely said already: Don't let your parents opinions of each other cloud your own feelings for either one of them. It'll save you some trouble down the road, and try to stick to neutral topics that don't involve discussing them once they're divorced. You don't need to pick a side and this is more between them then yourself. Lastly, be grateful they stuck together for as long as they did for you to grow up into an adult. Not everyone here was as lucky as you to have that.
 
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