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Help/Support ► My mother has cancer



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Muke

whatever
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Saying I am devastated, sad, heartbroken,… no word could express my feelings in any way. I have nobody to talk to, but I need to talk so SOMEBODY.
I know this is something very private, but there's nobody else. People here know KHinsider is a place of refuge for me so I figured I could tell you guys at least and talk to someone.


I don't know how or why, but my brain seems to have repressed my memory of it or something. It just… suddenly came to me when I read the word "Krebs" (crab/cancer in German) on the internet, I suddenly felt so strange... it's unexplainable.


Anyway… as soon as the "memory" came back I just started to cry.
My mom has cancer. The person I love the most, the person who has supported me all my life… why?
Why did it have to happen to her of all people? She lost her own mother not too long ago too…
I don't know when they told me and why we haven't talked about it since. I don't know how she feels, how she is doing at all. I don't know what'll happen if I bring this up and I don't know what will happen to me, my siblings and my uncle and aunt and most importantly my mother.




I'm sorry, but I really can't express myself, it's impossible. This feeling…

I thought about whether I should post this or not for some minutes now. If this is not appropriate, delete the thread, please. I understand it might not be okay.
 

catcake

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I'm so sorry to hear that. I understand it's very difficult to talk about an illness to your loved ones because you don't want to worry them, but you're old enough that I think it would be good to talk about it openly. If you can, maybe talk to her. Ask her how she's doing. Or if that feels too difficult, maybe talk to someone else in your family, if there is someone you can trust and feel comfortable talking to. Your situation is one that unfortunately many people have to go through, it's a common illness that most of us have to deal with at some point, in some way. Some more than others. I really hope your mother will be fine, luckily the survival rates are pretty high these days and most of them can be treated well. But it's scary, for everybody involved, and it would be good if you could talk to someone about all the feelings you have about it. Maybe preferably with someone outside your family, even a professional. It's a heavy burden to carry alone.
 

Grono

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Dude, this is a place of refuge. I know you especially have gone through some shit, so, by all means, post anything you need to here.

I really wish the best for your mother, I'm so sorry to hear that :(
 

maryadavies

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I'm so, so sorry.

I haven't said this much in public before, but I know myself I need to find a doctor that'll take my insurance. Why? Because cancer runs in my family. My mom was a ovarian cancer survivor, but it came back, and she had complications from chemotherapy (three hospital resistant infections, ugh) that killed her. My youngest sister also had ovarian cancer, she's in remission now (and I hope it doesn't come back; I want her to see her kids grow up).

So yeah. You are NOT alone. Feel free to let it out; I was glad when my mom was so sick, that my FFXI friends put up with my bad days and were there for me. Also I know the word censor is going to get this, but as Kadian used to say; diddly cancer!! I hope your mom beats it!
 

VoidGear.

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May I ask which kind of cancer it is?

My grandma had bladder cancer for decades, had it removed like two dozen times or so, and I never really realized what it meant that she had to go to hospital all the time. I first started understanding that at the age of 12 or so. A lot of cancer is very treatable even though I wish it upon nobody.
Still, if you feel like you should talk or ask your mom about it, do so! She will understand that you, as her son, want to know about how she lives with it and all that.
 

Luxu

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Sorry for the pain you are suffering, but we are here for you. So discuss anything need be and we will try to act as any sort of comfort.
 

Chuuya

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Saying sorry could never be enough to express how much I care. I wish somehow there was a way for me to help, this kind of pain I have experienced before, twice. All I can say is to keep your hopes up, all of us will be believing that she will get past this. It is perfectly fine to turn to us, it is mighty alright. We're there for you in spirit. I wish all the best of luck, cancer sucks no matter what kind.
 

Muke

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I'm so sorry to hear that. I understand it's very difficult to talk about an illness to your loved ones because you don't want to worry them, but you're old enough that I think it would be good to talk about it openly. If you can, maybe talk to her. Ask her how she's doing. Or if that feels too difficult, maybe talk to someone else in your family, if there is someone you can trust and feel comfortable talking to. Your situation is one that unfortunately many people have to go through, it's a common illness that most of us have to deal with at some point, in some way. Some more than others. I really hope your mother will be fine, luckily the survival rates are pretty high these days and most of them can be treated well. But it's scary, for everybody involved, and it would be good if you could talk to someone about all the feelings you have about it. Maybe preferably with someone outside your family, even a professional. It's a heavy burden to carry alone.
Thank you so much, catcake, I also really hope so. :c
I've talked to her intensely yesterday and earlier today, but I'm still really scared.


Dude, this is a place of refuge. I know you especially have gone through some shit, so, by all means, post anything you need to here.

I really wish the best for your mother, I'm so sorry to hear that :(
Thank you very much, grono, I really appreciate it.

I'm so, so sorry.

I haven't said this much in public before, but I know myself I need to find a doctor that'll take my insurance. Why? Because cancer runs in my family. My mom was a ovarian cancer survivor, but it came back, and she had complications from chemotherapy (three hospital resistant infections, ugh) that killed her. My youngest sister also had ovarian cancer, she's in remission now (and I hope it doesn't come back; I want her to see her kids grow up).

So yeah. You are NOT alone. Feel free to let it out; I was glad when my mom was so sick, that my FFXI friends put up with my bad days and were there for me. Also I know the word censor is going to get this, but as Kadian used to say; diddly cancer!! I hope your mom beats it!
Thank you very much, marya.
I'm so sorry about that. (she may rest in peace)
I also really hope it doesn't come back. :(

May I ask which kind of cancer it is?

My grandma had bladder cancer for decades, had it removed like two dozen times or so, and I never really realized what it meant that she had to go to hospital all the time. I first started understanding that at the age of 12 or so. A lot of cancer is very treatable even though I wish it upon nobody.
Still, if you feel like you should talk or ask your mom about it, do so! She will understand that you, as her son, want to know about how she lives with it and all that.
Breast cancer...

Thank you for the advice, I did talk to her, as stated above.

Sorry for the pain you are suffering, but we are here for you. So discuss anything need be and we will try to act as any sort of comfort.
Thank you Luxu, it means so much to me to know people are there for me.

Saying sorry could never be enough to express how much I care. I wish somehow there was a way for me to help, this kind of pain I have experienced before, twice. All I can say is to keep your hopes up, all of us will be believing that she will get past this. It is perfectly fine to turn to us, it is mighty alright. We're there for you in spirit. I wish all the best of luck, cancer sucks no matter what kind.
Thanks, Howler. I appreciate your words.

Thanks, everyone! I'm sorry if my replies aren't very long, but it really isn't easy for me to talk about this. I just want you guys to know I really appreciate your help and your words.
 

Noir

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I'm gonna take a little moment here, and express how sorry I am to hear this. Cancer is a horrible experience, not just for the person who has it, but the entire family. I don't go into too much about my experiences, because this thread is about you - you're the focus here. But I want to say you're not alone. Two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer too. It's very rough, but the best you can do is to be there to support her through it.
I think when people were trying to support me through it, they told me how Breast Cancer was more easily treatable than other forms. Last year, my mother got the all-clear. I'm going to be hoping that soon, your mother will too.
 

VoidGear.

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All the best for all of you. Breast cancer is tough, but also defeatable. We're all with you guys in spirit to see this through.
 

Elysium

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I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing else I could say that wouldn't come across hollow. Sending my thoughts/prayers to you and your mom.
 

FudgemintGuardian

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Text doesn't express how sorry I am to hear about this. I wish I could hold on to you right now.
My thoughts and prayers to you and your mother.
 

Muke

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I'm gonna take a little moment here, and express how sorry I am to hear this. Cancer is a horrible experience, not just for the person who has it, but the entire family. I don't go into too much about my experiences, because this thread is about you - you're the focus here. But I want to say you're not alone. Two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer too. It's very rough, but the best you can do is to be there to support her through it.
I think when people were trying to support me through it, they told me how Breast Cancer was more easily treatable than other forms. Last year, my mother got the all-clear. I'm going to be hoping that soon, your mother will too.
I'm so happy for you (all-clear means she's cured, right?)! Thanks, Noir.
All the best for all of you. Breast cancer is tough, but also defeatable. We're all with you guys in spirit to see this through.
Thank you Void! I don't know how high the chances of defeating it are, but now that you guys have been saying it's defeatable, I'm really getting more hopeful.
I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing else I could say that wouldn't come across hollow. Sending my thoughts/prayers to you and your mom.
Thanks, Tartarus, I really, honestly appreciate it.
Text doesn't express how sorry I am to hear about this. I wish I could hold on to you right now.
My thoughts and prayers to you and your mother.
Thank you, Fudge, it really means a lot to me.
 

Kounelli

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I am sorry to hear that Muke! Cancer is a horrible thing that has become such a problem in this day and age. I try to donate to cancer research as much as I can because it has effected my family/friends as well.

I am wishing for your mother to recover, this is not an easy time and you shouldn't feel that your emotions are a burden. This is a hard time and you should be able to share your pain in order to relieve some stress. Cancer can be fought and beaten however, do not loose hope!
 

Muke

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I am sorry to hear that Muke! Cancer is a horrible thing that has become such a problem in this day and age. I try to donate to cancer research as much as I can because it has effected my family/friends as well.

I am wishing for your mother to recover, this is not an easy time and you shouldn't feel that your emotions are a burden. This is a hard time and you should be able to share your pain in order to relieve some stress. Cancer can be fought and beaten however, do not loose hope!
Thank you, Kounelli!
That's so kind of you and I'm sorry it has affected your family and friends. :(
 

hemmoheikkinen

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I am very sorry to hear that Muke. :( I truly hope that you´r mother gets better and as other here have pointed out doctors have gotten better at battling against cancer.
I remember years ago when my mom came back from the hospital and they had discovered that she had some sort of tumor in her stomach. When she came to tell the news she just collapsed and burst into tears. Luckily they got it out and it has not caused any problems since, but man it was a scary time.
 

Muke

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I am very sorry to hear that Muke. :( I truly hope that you´r mother gets better and as other here have pointed out doctors have gotten better at battling against cancer.
I remember years ago when my mom came back from the hospital and they had discovered that she had some sort of tumor in her stomach. When she came to tell the news she just collapsed and burst into tears. Luckily they got it out and it has not caused any problems since, but man it was a scary time.
Thank you hemmo, it's deeply appreciated.
I'm so happy they got it out, hemmo!!
 
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