Help/Support ► My mom and my anger...

[~Life~]

Ok so basically my mom is mentally insane...I havnt had sleep in like two days...I was drifting to sleep and she came up in my room and sat on my floor and just stared...I yelled for her to get out but she just kept saying she wanted to stay in there with me. But she just kept staring. I can't really sleep with her just staring at me...so Chris, my younger brother tried to help. But she just payed on the floor in hallway with her head at my door staring. She wouldn't get up, so we went downstairs. Her nurse came by right after and tried to make sure she took her meds, and she said she did...which I find hard to believe. I go back to my room and lock the doors and she bust through the locks, wood chips flying everywhere and some hit Chris in eye. I started shouting, I just wanted to go to sleep. Her nurse said she would go to her office and get ahold of her other nurse to see if she needed to go to hospital...which right at his moment I think she does. Chris and his friends are trying to leave to go to friends house, and mom kept crying saying she wanted to go too...but she ha to stay cause her nurse was going to call. She runs to the door saying she needs to get out of house. I litteraly have to restrain her arms so Chris and his friends could leave. She runs up to my room and locks the doors on me...I get angry...again...telling her to get the hell out and she doesn't respond...so I've locked myself in her bedroom. I don't know how to deal with this without getting mad, and I don't want to be mean and angry, but she makes me that way. Is there any thing I can do that won't cause me to get so upset. I'm trying my hardest but I've been dealing with this for 20 years now...and I'm not sure how much more I can take...i feel like a horrible person for yelling and showing this rage, and I'm not an angry person...but she doesn't respond and I
so tired and I have to be at work in like 6 hours and I just don't know what to do. I also don't want to sound crazy posting this on here but I needs to vent...I'm calmed down now, but it only takes a few minute for her to get me going like incredible hulk...what can I do to calm myself? How would you deal with this?

 

[LongLiveLife]

If your mum did not have a mental condition, I would recommend that you voice out your frustrations to her and explain to her what she is doing wrong, and why it is making you feel the way it is. However, as she is psychologically unstable, the situation calls for more tact.

First, evaluate things: you are already 20 years old; do you still plan on living in the same house as your parents for a long time more? Or will you be moving out soon? If you will be moving out soon, you may just want to turn the other cheek on this one: it is simply not worth causing conflict if you will not be around to experience its benefits.

I believe that the best way to deal with this situation would be to speak to her professionals: her nurse, her doctor, anyone. Maybe they can prescribe some sedatives for her to prevent her from doing this in the late hours of the night.

As for your anger, I believe it's all just about self control. Simply breathing will help, a lot. Believe me, I know; I used to have a short fuse myself. Now, every time someone says or does something that may offend me, I inhale to the count of three, hold, then exhale. It works wonders. Hypoxia can make stressful situations more stressful than they actually are, so just getting some oxygen into your brain will relieve a lot of the stress.

In the long term, you may wish to seek stress-releasing activities. I go to the gym. Endorphins, your body's natural painkillers, are released during high intensity exercise. So in addition to getting a buff body, you're also getting a natural high. (These chemicals are supposed to have a similar mechanism of action to the opiates; so pretty powerful stuff).

I hope you found this useful, and if not, you may wish to consult a psychologist yourself to help you deal with stressful situations such as the one you described above.