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Help/Support ► My High School LIfe - My Feelings and Such



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KeybladeKid1127

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I always thought I was an average guy going into his sophomore year of highschool. I didnt really fallow the crowd in clothing (i get clothes from American eagle, hot topic, target whatever I like I buy) and I had friends from all types of "clicks" at least I thought so. Untill 2 weeks ago I was happy to go back to school but when I went to volleybal tryouts I notice and learned that most people I saw at my tryout and others has changed to be one of those kids the kid who does drugs and drinks, found there special someone(for this year at the most<_<) and parties too much for there own good. I have also noticed that people who I thought were my friends have soon forgotton about me and now think I am werid for no good reason. Now that I look back on my freshmen year it wasnt a very good one I got put in a class I didnt want becuase I quit another, I lost my 2 best friends to a private school but still see only on weekends sometimes, I made some new friends but no one I could really feel like I could trust and I wasnt even sure if they really liked me as a person let alone a friend, I broke my ancle in volleybal becuase I landed it on it and I coulnt play for the whoel season(when I landed it looked like an L), and I met a girl who broke my heart under 24 hours.

My freshmen year was an "ok" at best but through the whole thing I kept dreaming that this year will be better becuase I will become friends with the right people aka those kids you wished you talked to when on 6th grade orientation and alwasy look like they are having a good time when they are together and you fall in love with that new girl in school that no one really knows. I know that that will never happen but I am not sure if I am really able to except that yet.

Anyway on top of that stuff my grandparent have lived with me adn my family since I was about 3 and this past year my grandfather been getting sicker oldage andnow I can barely remember what he was like before which really tares me up inside since when he finally passes on I won't remember what he used to be like. Becuase of this my father has been overworked becuase on top of his job which he hasnt been enjoying lately he runs my town's basketball leagues and couches 3 teams. He is alwasy working hard and I might have not noticed this till recently. My mother has also been working hard and trying to keep things normal but stil worrys about my grandfather and my father and cause them to fight. Also my grandmother hasnt really accept the fact that her husband is slowly dieing and she bottles it up and then lashes it out on him when he sees things or acts stubborn. My 2 aunts and uncle have been visiting more often my father has been taking most of the load since he lives with us and I have been trying to help as much as I can but we, as a family, havent discussed what is happening to him. This is what was racing through my mind the whole school year and summer. I have discussed with someone I felt I can trust and he feels for me but he told me for my school problems I should become more out-goinging and stop careing what other people think, which I though was funny becuase I didnt even know I did. I asked a girl that I know and suprislying trust even though she and I are from 2 different worlds on her opoion and she said I should also be more out-going becuase I apparently never was.

This shocked me the most becuase my parents always told me I was too out-going and I should shut up. The girl told me not to care about the kids at school since she says people thinks she is werid too even though she has had many boyfriends, is popular with many friends, and is the vice-president of student council of my school. Her of all people said not to care what they think? Isnt she one of those kids? I mean I was referring to her friends and past boyfriends. She wasnt mad but actually insightful and understanding. Listen I dont like the girl in any relationship way but for some reason I felt I dont know really it was werid. Now for all I know this girl was just pitting me and is probly laughing about this with all of those kids right now. Anyway now that I look back on this past year people who I thought were my friends were now one of those kids thinking I am werid and I dont know what. This past week I have felt alone even around my family who I spend the most time with. Those thoughts have been coming into my head but if I did that to myself I know I will be letting down everyone who actually cared for me so I will keep going and see what I can do to make my life better.

I feel like I am trapped in a wave, moving forward but about to crash


thanks for reading
 
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Stavvy

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First of all, screw the kids at your school, if they find you weird, find someone else. Druggies and partiers are someone you don't want to be, they may look like they're having fun, I'm sure they are, but just as when they get drunk, later in life, they'll get a major 'hang-over' of sorts when they wake up face down in a puddle of their own varying liquids, they're forty-two, broke, have three children to pay child support for, can't see the children's mother because of the restraining order, and their ass feels violated (because it was).

Do you really want that^?

Secondly, spend as much time as you can with your grandpa.( I know this sounds harsh, but believe me on this) He may not make it. Now I'm not saying that he won't, but there's always a chance. Earlier this year I found that out. . .If (when) he gets better, you'll have more memories with him, and that's always a good thing.

Thirdly, tell your parents that you love them, they're overworked. Have you discussed that with them?
 

blinkboy211

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Talk to your parents tell them these thoughts dont hold any punchs either. Its best to show your feelings. I cant tell you to be more outgoing or anything cause i dont know you. Just be you. Dont try to act like something else to make others like oyu. Just be you and if others dont like it then thats their problem. Speak you mind dont hold back thoughts. Life is too short to hold things back.
 

CAB_IV

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You are not alone, atleast in your troubles with school. there are plenty of people who have gone through this nonsense. things will stabilize. your old friends aren't worth your time if they are doing harmful things, and do not treat you as they should.

give your new friends time, and don't be a stranger. I am bad for that. i feel awkward fairly quickly and i loose new aquaintances just as fast. you have to keep talking to people.

as far as outgoing goes, she is probably encouraging you to hang out more, which means more or less after you talk to people and stuff, try and find time to hang out.
 

Professor Ven

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I'm in the same kind of position you are KeybladeKid1127, so I know how it feels sometimes perhaps.

And that girl is right. Noone is normal! We're all weird!

And big deal you're not in one of the 'clicks'. I'm not, and prefer to have friends in any clicks, its pretty fun sometimes!

I even know a couple of friends who do pot! But I don't cos I like having the brain cells for another eighty years. One of my friends smokes pot, and is pretty much a rocker and wears black! Big deal! He's HILARIOUS!!

Just don't sweat it mate.

If ya wanna talk, or youre BORED!:

You can message me on MsN!!
 

CK the Fat

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Hey man, I definitely feel for you...

My grandmother had a stroke in 2000, and since then there has been little left of the grandmother I knew... only a crazed babbling, poor thin woman who doesn't remember my or my family's names. What I would do is try and gather up things that remind you of the old him, fond memories that you will remember, when the bad memories of his sickness fade away into oblivion.

I too have lost many friends in high school, or grew apart from them. Some began drinking or smoking, or taking drugs, and since then I've never really been as cool with them as I was in middle school. In my junior year I knew one really kind girl who gave a lot of good advice... she was, in a way, a savior to me... someone to befriend the weird, quiet kid... but then senior year I barely ever saw her and when I did say hi, all she would so was smile back, as if she didn' t know or care about me anymore.

Now soon I will be going to college, and I can only name one buddy, not even friend, who is also going there. So everything will change, absolutely everything, and I hope I fit in somehow. Don't be like me and wait to make friends or wait for that perfect someone... find people you can help and can help you in return.

Don't be too concerned what other kids think, or what your parents do. Try and find friends you know will be constantly supportive, and accept you for what you are.

I'm not going to lie, the wave is going to break sometime or other. Sometimes when things build up momentum they are impossible to stop. So ride the wave, let it fuel you and carry you forward, prepare mentally for when it finally crashes down.
 

Z3120

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Cherish those memories of your grandfather or make news ones which you can fondly remember of when the time comes. You'd be quite surprised how old memories may come back when you're doing something with your grandfather. Even if it's completely unrelated like how you two may be casually talking about the weather one day, suddenly, you guys speak of how little you were when you were first introduced to him by your father.

I had a grandfather who lives on the opposite coast of the U.S. who passed away a few years ago. Sadly, I've only visited him twice. Once when I was young, I vaguely remember the experience, and the second time, I only spoke to him a few times at most unlike my other grandpa who lives literally a few blocks away from me so I can go there every weekday night and eat a family meal. If the grandpa I knew of so fondly passed a way, I'd be simply devastated. So enjoy the time you have remaining with him and enjoy it for what it's worth.

As for old friends, it happens. Until you get to college, it's a fork road wherever you go and whatever decision you're about to make. The best thing you can do is move forward along for the ride and make what you will of your circumstances and make it better. Don't force yourself to be in the crowd, and especially, don't be someone you don't want to be. That's the last thing you want to do.

Find something you want to do and stick with it. Since you were willing to confide in a fellow classmate at school, you're an already fine outgoing person unlike me. I can't tell you how many times it was hard for me to speak to someone else unless they spoken to me first in a particular time in high school. It's really weird though and something I can hardly explain. I don't remember anything happening significantly in my freshmen year that would have dramatically changed my sophomore year. When I was a freshmen, I was pretty outgoing, casual and vibrant unlike my sophomore year when my legs trembled incredibly easily when I'm doing a conversation speech for my foreign language class. shrugs

And if you feel alone, you can try expressing yourself by taking an instrument or writing or endow yourself into the pleasures of reading, video games or even studying. Try not being so self-conscious of yourself so much and let yourself flow within the wave you claim is dragging you along. High school is pretty boring already. It isn't uncommon where people question why they're at school and how exactly will it help us. Unless you plan to aim for a state or UC or something, waiting out those years until you can get into city college or something can be an extremely long wait. The most you can do is spend that time occupying yourself until that moment happens when you graduate. Moreover, just have fun and be who you are. If you can't hang out with your friends at the moment for one day, there'll always be another time.

And besides, those who usually tend to fit in social clicks don't usually succeed as well as the person who doesn't live in a crowd. Being neutral and not part of the school spirit can be fun and enjoyable too. You telling me it's fun cheering for my own school when mostly it's a thing forced upon you to try and do? Beats me.
 

dark___edge

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Your not alone. I have friends like that too. Those aren't true friends... those who think your weird. I know how it feels.... it hurts. Try to find some new and better friends. These other friends don't deserve you. Continue to be outgoing and talk to people. You'll make friends in no time. :D
 
A

Audo

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Cliques guys, not clicks.

I could answer this in two ways, and i;m sure you know that. I could be harsh, or i could be sympathetic. I don't really know which to choose, maybe a combination?

Either way. Highschool doesn't mean shit (is there still a swearing ban?) Highschool isn't the real world, and don't even think for a second that it is. They make you think that it is, but the truth of the matter is that people won't care if you were the football captain or the hottest cheerleader on the westside of the lockers. Once you're in the real world, none of it matters.

So, basically, don't get too worried about these highschool problems. They arent worth it. Your friends will smarten up, realize that it isn't worth it and snap back into reality. If they don't well, they've ruined their lives - it is that simple. Don't envy them, don't wish you were one of them. Instead, move on. Find new friends - better friends, ones that like you for you.

As for your grandpa. There pretty much isn't much you can do for him. If it's his time, it is his time. It's that simple. People die in this world, it may not be what you want, but it happens. The only thing you can do is savour what time you have with him, don't make it something you'll regret later in life. Things happen, but you have to push past it and move on and make the best of what you have.

Talk to me later on Aim.

<3
 

Nintandy

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Okay, I'm not in the States, but hey, I can relate ^^. I'm 16 now and in my last two years of school, and boy is it getting weird.

A few years back, I had a rough time outside of school, primarily because I had memories haunting me. I lost all my friends, and for five odd years I was constantly haunted in my dreams by one particular person who had been like a brother to me. I finally managed to move on, and through my experiences I have learnt a lot. The true friends will stick with you to the end, and help you with whatever life throws at you. They will also respect you :).

I think you've gotten to the point where you assume what others may feel about you. There are truly people out there who are not only popular but also incredibly friendly. Somebody I know is such an example, and she is really a wonderful person.

For family.. I've never been one to be able to help out with such issues. I was adopted and taken in by a really friendly yet small home. I have very little relatives, and I suppose that is why friends now mean so much to me. I think you should cherish what you have though, and no matter what love every moment of life, as hard as it may be. Be there for your family and ensure they enjoy it too. No matter what your religion or upbringing is, this is still one single life, and you should be able to make the most of it.

About being weird. So what? Be happy for who you are :). The more individual and unique you are, the better. As long as nobody is harmed in the process, I don't see why you should feel constrained to follow specific stereotypes. You are you, and nobody can take that away from you.

I'm certainly a bit of a nutcase, and a lot of people probably think I'm an idiot. I've become very self conscious recently and have a terrible self esteem, but I try to stay positive and just enjoy life.

Now, for love! You will find somebody, some day. In life, today there are too many people who abuse love. Artificialities and "fancying" someone do not count. Love is something special, and the emotion is truly overwhelming. People use eachother too much. Don't feel inclined to rush. Take it easy, and stick to friendship. After all, the foundation of love isI] friendship. Without it, if the love crumbles, there will be little left to reform. With friendship you can pick the pieces up and hopefully move on more easily.

It's a pleasure talking to you anyway, even if through a message board O_O. If you want to talk, my MSN addy is available!

Before I close this post, here's something I use to get me through the day: "Never deny the past for that was what made you, yet do not dwell upon it for the future lies ahead".

-- Andy
 
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