Fanfiction ► my first fanfic

[IBeatSephiroth]

this is my first fanfic.its about Sora,Donald,Goofy, and my RPG character, Sphiatx.
it starts of when the gang get shot down in their gummi ship, the blue hawk.

-----------------------------

Sora climbed out of the smoking wreck of the gummi ship, moaning.They had been shot down by heartless ships over a huge world.He stared around the clearing they had crash-landed in.It was a small patch of clear ground surrounded by lush forest.A slow,bubbling stream wound through the trees to his left, and continued as far as he could see.Donald climbed out of the ship,."where are we?"he said, shaken by the trauma of the crash."I dunno."Shrugged Sora as he moved off to follow the stream,with Donald following after a shout to Goofy to 'come on'

More coming soon...

 

[Arxos]

I like it
Sounds like an adventure one or somthin
but realy nice

 

[IBeatSephiroth]

thanks Arxos! here's more of it:

------------------------
continued...

The group followed the stream for a half-hour before finding a thin path worn through the forest from what looked like centuries of usage.Birds sang in the trees as they eyed the newcomers from the glistening stars that emerged after dusk.It was noon when Sora,Donald & Goofy followed the path into a open valley where deer could be seen frolicking in the distant hills."Look at that!" Donald commented,pointing down the sloping path to a large city bordered by huge granite walls at least as tall as the trees that grew in the rolling hills.The path widened and split into three as it lead to the golden gates standing as the entrance to the city, with a path leading off to the right,and one to the left.There was a plaque on the wall next to the gate.

more to come, and they enter the city....

 

[Arxos]

nice final fantasy right?

 

[IBeatSephiroth]

I just signed up for photobucket & have posted one of my images.Arxos, i don't know what you mean by 'nice final fantasy right?'Oh and i forgot to mention that Sora is seventeen in the story.

the story continues anyway....

When They reached the large gates Sora read the plaque, intent on what it said.
'The one who reads this plaque is standing before the gates of Cres, the capital city of this great land of Dracarnis.You may now enter.A latch clicked somwhere on the other side of the wall & the gates swung noislessly open to reveal a bustling square lined with shops of all professions & sizes.They walked inside and looked around.A sixteen year old girl with flowing russet-brown hair highlighted with violet approached them."Hi, Im Sphiatx." She said, introducing herself to Sora, Donald and Goofy.Sora blushed & smiled eagerly."Uhh,im Sora and this is Donald & Goofy.we just got shot down in our gummi ship and landed in the forest."Donald glared at Sora."well i can help you.my family has a huge store of gummi blocks.but i can't help you today.Find a hotel for the night and meet me outside the gates at 10:30 tomorrow morning."The girl said, and with a wave of goodbye,she headed down one of the shop-lined streets, browsing the various things for sale."Well,who wants to go shopping?I'm hungry."Goofy stated."I'm in"Sora replied."me too"Donald mumbled.
*
After finding a food court and eating a large lunch,the trio shopped at the various stores, considering how much munny they had-a lot.It was nearly nightfall when they checked into a motel known as 'Dragon's den' that was decorated with ornamental dragons and bronze statues.

more, when Sphiatx helps them...

This is Sphiatx

 

[L337 kybldmstr]

Okay so far, but Sora had better not cheat on Kairi, or there'll be hell to pay.

 

[Zezima]

Errrrr.... yeah no offense but it really kinda sucks...... and so does the drawing. Sorry you and other people who can't draw for crap might think you're an artist but..... I can draw WAY better. And you don't HAVE to do this, but I recommend giving it some action and adding some mystery. Take a look at my fanfic "A Tainted Heart" and look at it (it might help you.) Oh and reply to it please (I need more opinions.)


Which FF Character Are You?

 

[Cloud_Unchained]

Errrrr.... yeah no offense but it really kinda sucks...... and so does the drawing. Sorry you and other people who can't draw for crap might think you're an artist but..... I can draw WAY better. And you don't HAVE to do this, but I recommend giving it some action and adding some mystery. Take a look at my fanfic "A Tainted Heart" and look at it (it might help you.) Oh and reply to it please (I need more opinions.)


Which FF Character Are You?

You really are an asshole, y'know that?

Now about the fic, the chapters are too short and it looks like you rushed. Try giving it some thought and planning out different events before writing them down.

 

[IBeatSephiroth]

Originally Posted by Zezima
Errrrr.... yeah no offense but it really kinda sucks...... and so does the drawing. Sorry you and other people who can't draw for crap might think you're an artist but..... I can draw WAY better. And you don't HAVE to do this, but I recommend giving it some action and adding some mystery. Take a look at my fanfic "A Tainted Heart" and look at it (it might help you.) Oh and reply to it please (I need more opinions.)

Zezima, don't be an @$$hole & say that to me. In case you havn't noticed, I AM ONLY 13 & THE DRAWING WAS DONE IN THE GOD DAMN PAINT PROGRAM. I don't yet have a scanner, so i can't put my lead drawing of Sphiatx or my lead drawing of my keyblade, 'Key Fatum' up on the computer yet! I am infact an incredible artist & are going to exhibit my artwork in a gallery. And you can't expect me to write a fanfic when i'm missing out on the shows i like to watch.sheesh.on a happier note, i thank Arxos for the support & Cloud_unchained for calling Zezmia an @$$hole for me.