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Help/Support ► My feelings for my best friend are changing



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Dogenzaka

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You thought this was gonna be a gay thread didn't you lol

No....ever since I moved away to college, my best friend whom I would spend all my time with and tell everything to, has....I don't know, fallen off my priorities list.

If I'm honest with myself, now that I have all these new friends (that weren't as annoying as he could be sometimes, etc.) I've found myself not really caring about wanting to visit him or spend time with him anymore, or him doing the same to me.

I've always heard that after you go to college, your high school friends don't matter anymore, but I didn't think it would apply to me.

If I think about it, he's always been there for me and done things I couldn't imagine my new friends or anyone else doing, but somehow inside I just lost interest in pursuing our friendship over the past few weeks because I've got a new, exciting life I want to indulge in, and it's almost like I want to leave my past for a while and try something new.

Has anyone else ever felt like their best friends just weren't important anymore after college started? What do you think I should do?

I guess I just wanna know if it's natural to feel this way and what I should do about it.
 

Roa

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Well, I'm not in college, but this has happened to me and my best friend.

I remember when me and Rabbi used to spend all night RPing and talking, like 3-4 nights of the weeks, but over the last year. she's just been falling off the map. I still love her to death, but she's not . . . not high on my prioteries list anymore. She doesn't appear as much as she used to, basically to the point where I haven't gotten a chance to tell her how I'm doing generally in life, and stuff. (Yea, she doesn't know too much about my life, atm, which is extremely sad) And I've sorta not been around for her as well, as I'm too busy being an emo-bitch with my new life. :O But then I just remember how much we've been through and say to myself "Just because I'm moving forward, doesn't mean we're not best friends or anything anymore."

So, despite the fact I'm not in college and such, I really do understand how you feel. You'll get back into it eventually. I know this.

Just because you're getting into new things, and going places, doesn't mean you have to leave that one special friend behind. Remember he's been there for you, and don't forget him. :) It'll work out in the end. Just believe it will, and it will :D
 

Reflection

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I don't think you have to completely ABANDON him Dogen-chan :3

Just indulge in your new life for a while like you said; he probably feels the same way. Like tell him "college is getting busy so don't feel bad if we can't hang out as much anymore," and then go back to hanging out with him when you feel like it.

[EDIT] god dammit roa
 

LongLiveLife

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It is completely natural to feel this way. You and he are no longer in as close contact as you once were, and you are most likely overwhelmed by the novelty of your new college friends. That you think he is slipping to the bottom of your priorities is absolutely normal -- you have more urgent matters to attend to, such as building new bonds with your new friends and just settling in in general.

What you should never allow happen, however, is let him fall out of your life. It is fine to have some distance, but you do not want to lose a friend. Who knows? Your paths may once again cross in the future, and it would be great to still be able to call him up when you need someone to talk to then.

Be calm about the way you're feeling, but also be wary that you do not lose a friend. Go out, build new friendships and live that exciting college life. Just bear in mind that burning bridges after you cross them is generally not a good idea.
 
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