• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Help/Support ► My Father's New Rule



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Coffee Lover

Bronze Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2004
Messages
2,608
Awards
6
Location
United States of America
I'm anti social and a loner. I've been this way ever since I can remember. Even back in headstart I had no friends and never cared to socialize with people, especially not in person. With his new rule, my father is trying to change that, even though everyone knows it's too late.

My brother played video games all the time and I'd sit down beside him and just watch, occassionally pointing out things and helping him till one day he put the controller in my hand and told me the controls. Ever since that day, which was 11 years ago, I've been as much of a gamer as my brother is. I love playing video games, next to reading, it's the main way I relax and forget about problems.

My father's new rules is I can only use the computer or play video games three times a day, an hour only every time and I can only do something for a hour and then I must go to something else. For example: If I get on the computer at 7 o'clock,I can't play the game at the same time, I can't decide to quit all the sudden and go to the game, and I must be off at 8 o'clock.

There are many reasons why my father came up with this rule:
1. He thinks the screens are ruining my eyesight. I'm the only child of their's that doesn't wear glasses and he wants to make sure I never have to wear them.
2. He wants me to socialize more and do more things. I can only do an activity a certain amount of time. For example: The other day I was reading a book since he wouldn't let me play the game and there was nothing on tv, and after about a hour, he made me put the book down. Today, after almost a hour of watching football, he made me switch to something else. When there's nothing else to do he encourages me to call someone on the telephone, play a sport, or join a club. That's what he should've been doing when I was younger. It was the same way with my brother; my brother tried to play baseball when he was younger but he had no support and not enough money from my father. It was only in my brother's senior year that my father pushed him to join the baseball team, ignoring the fact that my brother would have to learn the basics, things everyone on the team learned when they were in junior high. I'm happy with the little amount of things I do but he's not.
3. He blames video games for me being anti social, having a temper problem, being shy, and being nervous and trembling around people. Yes, I have a shaking problem, most people tell me it's my nerves. Even though the shaking gets worse when I'm around strangers and it decreases when I play video games, he blames it on the video games.

Please, help me convince my father that he's wrong and going too far. Even my mother disagrees with the rules but she's can't doing anything because he's the man of the house.
 

~DanseMacabre~

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2004
Messages
689
Location
Ireland
Website
www.livejournal.com
Your dad has a point in trying to make you do more things, but by making you put down a book or change activities after an hour I think he might be lowering your attention span. I think he's right that if you want to find things easier in later life you need to become better at socialising now, but you need to discuss boundaries and limits with him, rather than just having him enforce this rule on you all of a sudden. That's just not fair.

Can i ask how old you are?
 

Inner-Demon

The Old Master
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
3,033
Age
33
Location
Garland, Tx
Website
www.youtube.com
He isn't right. You can't read a book for more than an hour?! A BOOK?!?!?! A FREAKING BOOK?!?!?! The act of gaining a greater intelligence, a BOOK. You should be allowed to do what you want, when you want. Call you're dad a moron and tell him you're smarter and have better reflexes because you do more of something for longer than an hour.

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Parents are idiots. God, what's become of these people? NO MORE THAN AN HOUR OF ANYTHING?! What if you're having constipation in the bathroom, can you not do more than THAT for an hour?!?!

Jeez.....
 

Shadukai X

Banned
Joined
Apr 21, 2005
Messages
1,712
Not knowing your age, and by the fact that you said "11 years ago" I'm going ot assume your 16. True, you could be doing more social things with your life, but some of the things define who you are, and your father feels he can change that. I encourage you to still be yourself, but yes, at least try to be more social, there are some great things that come out of it. YOu father has good intentions, trust me, but the way he is trying to acomplish it is not correct.

On the matter of gaming affectig you. It might be true, go ahead and still play, but do it less as often, and take a break every once and a while.

Did that help?
 

Inner-Demon

The Old Master
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
3,033
Age
33
Location
Garland, Tx
Website
www.youtube.com
Everyone THINKS you have to be social and friendly, because that's suppose to be this politically correct shit of some normal kid. Nothing exciting comes from being excessively social, and it's not fun either.

Gaming is more fun than that, one can assume GR has a a friend or two, which is entirely acceptable. You should be allowed to be as social as you want, and gaming isn't affecting you. I've been gaming since I was 4 and I'm peachy. And I work on a computer to make money, so I stare at it for hours on end, for a couple of years now.

I have perfect eye sight. There's nothing wrong with your current lifestyle, changing it to please someone else, that's the problem.

If you feel fine about what you're doing, then that's all that matters.
 

KingBlade

by sinspire^
Joined
Jun 24, 2005
Messages
2,711
Age
31
Location
Chicago
By reading about your problem, I can already tell that you love games and that you must be a gamer. If, you like who are, than stick with it. But, don't go totally rebelling against your dad's rule, though. You dad has good intension's about slowing you down, don't worry. If being more social is what he wants you to be, be it. Like, go out to a friends house and play video games. Use the rule to your own privileges. ;D

You will be fine, there is life outside of the computer and game. :D
 

Cloudy_Card

Juvenile Success
Joined
Dec 28, 2004
Messages
2,028
Age
32
Location
In a magazine
Website
photobucket.com
You said your mom doesn't agree with the rules, but can't do anything about it....Here's how Mom can help out.

Your Mom tells your Dad she won't sleep with him until he lets this "nothing for more than an hour" rule go. Dad will forget about this rule pretty damn fast.

Also, have you pointed out to your Dad that just because you can only play video games for an hour, that doesn't mean in any way that it'll make you want to be social?

Not really the best methods, but they can be effective.
 

kairigirl

Bang!
Joined
Aug 6, 2004
Messages
2,647
Awards
4
Age
33
Location
Lost in my own Daydreams; or a Box. :/
Website
kemine.deviantart.com
I can understand the "nothing for an hour" rule on some things. My family is big on electronics. Both me and my brother and dad love to play video games. My mom and sister love to watch t.v., and all three of us kids love to go on the cpu. You can bet someone's on the cpu or that one of the t.v.'s on at anytime. We came up with a solution:
--You can only use a game, t.v., or cpu (anything along those lines) for 2 hours. Enough to watch a movie, do something on the cpu, or play a game. After that you need to go read a book, go outside, do something and get active. It didn't hold, but we kind of all grew into a habit of limiting our times. I personally set aside a certain time to get on the cpu, and it's 7:30 to the time I go to bed (at night that is). It works.

The point was to make sure we didn't become lazy. Eyesight's iffy. :/ I'm nearsighted, but my parents and grandparents are also not the greatest eye-wise. It's hereditary and it happened around 5th grade before I loved cpus and games and stuff like that.

So I can understand him making that "one-hour rule". It does introduce you to new things. And it keeps you from doing the same thing all day long. It's not healthy really to sit there for hours and hours doing the exact same thing, specially if it's just a game or a cpu. But for the book? Nah. That's learning. I know a LOT of kids that don't read. He should be proud you're reading.

Here's my suggestion. Offer a middle ground. Tell him that you'll set aside times throughout the day that you'll go on the cpu or play a game. But unless you're in those time zones, you have to be doing something else. Be it out riding a bike, reading a book, drawing, writing, just taking a nap, it doesn't matter. It gives your mind and body a break from the lights on the screen and it helps you out physically and mentally, depending on what you do. I'm not saying that games and stuff like that don't help (to be honest, me and my brother are good drivers because we play Mario Kart a lot), but it's good to get a wide variety.

Hopefully you two can work on finding a middle ground. He can't punish you for being anti-social. That's something you need to work on, but in your own time. He can't force you to join a club. Perhaps after you've decided on times and stuff like that and you actually stick to those times, it'll help you both. He'll see that he can trust you and know that you do still need those games and cpu time and at the same time, you're not so attached to them and you're also learning new things and doing other stuff.
 

Seirio

Mr. Twister
Joined
Dec 26, 2005
Messages
3,911
Awards
4
Location
;y
My best advice is for you to show that your father that you aren't to much anti-social.Make a friend and bring him/her to your house,play along with the frienship business,prove your dad you aren't anti-social,and then you'll be good,and at the same time through effort,gain frienship from someone.
 

Coffee Lover

Bronze Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2004
Messages
2,608
Awards
6
Location
United States of America
I talked to my father and he refuses to change the rule because he thinks it's right, even though my brother, sister, and mother have told him it's wrong. He doesn't care about the fact I can't relax much at home anymore or how playing video games is what gets my mind off my problems. He's stubborn, no one can tell him anything. He believes he's right about everything. Another thing my father is doing that's getting on my nerves is over monitoring me. Like this morning, I was fixing some soup and he forced me to put a whole can of water in it. Almost every ten minutes he comes to check on me and see what I'm doing. Friday, I was watching Jerry Springer and I couldn't even hear what they were saying because he kept going on about it being crap and finally he turned it off and said I couldn't watch it anymore. He also refuses to let me watch drama shows on tv. Another thing that annoys me is he keeps on going about how white people have everything. He recently tried to force me to eat when I was feeling sick and my grandmother had to step in to get him to leave me alone. I'm tired of him; I'm going to make a stand.
 

Raz

i'm nobody
Staff member
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
9,200
Awards
8
Age
29
Location
Midwest
My parents are refusing to buy me anymore books. I've been on withdrawl for a couple of weeks now... >>;

Tell your dad how you feel, calmly. Do you have any interests? I'm sure there are writing clubs/drawing clubs you could join. Invite friends over to play games with you. He won't freak out if you're with someone. Make it a girl...
 

The Big Lovin'

Everyone's Favorite Uncle Ji-Chan
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
3,082
Nothing exciting comes from being excessively social, and it's not fun either.

So I'm assuming you have never randomly got laid before?

There ae reasons WHY not getting out of the damn house and doing something else is better than staying in all day and doing nothing. I read all the time and I enjoy it. But I still have a life to live. Its not going to be sticking my head in a book or computer. Your dad is probably just trying to get you out of the house to do something OTHER than be on the computer or read. This dosn't mean you have to go make freinds or talk to people. You can go do other things like go down to the park and shoot some hoops. Or, walk to the park and read a book there. There are many ways to get around this situation.
 

Iwrestledabearonce

Δdrug gangΔ
Joined
Dec 13, 2005
Messages
2,575
Awards
4
Location
:^)
Honestly, make a stand. I'm 12, and I've made a stand against my dad when he did a similar rule: "No Games Or T.V. or Computering (LOL That's what he called it) until you've read something." I liked his system; depending on how long I read, was how long I got on Games, Computer, or T.V. It really got me into reading.

But, honestly, your dad sounds like my dad. Won't admit he's wrong, always thinks he's right, always doing "The Best For You" even if it's one of the worst possible things; it's pathetic. He eventually scraped the rule, and did some stuff I didn't like; in fact, it was plain wrong what he did.

He took the stuff my mom bought for me when he was gone (he divorced, but my mom let him come back), and he took games and stuff I bought MYSELF. I said "Hey, that's my stuff. I payed for that, and so did Mom, not you. You don't have any right to take it away from me.". He told me he was the parent; he could do it if he wanted. So, I made a stand; I swore at him, I told him he was wrong, I screamed; it shut him up for over a week, and he thought about it.

So, really, make him think about it. If he wants you to be more social, say "Well, you know, it isn't your choice. It's MY damn life, not yours. Stop monitoring me like a little child; I'm old enough to make my own decisions. If I want to be Anti-Social, what the hell is it to you?". Say something along those lines.
 

Inner-Demon

The Old Master
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
3,033
Age
33
Location
Garland, Tx
Website
www.youtube.com
Reaper wasn't asking about getting laid, which my answer wouldn't serve the point either. I'm suggesting to battle the point at hand, which is the problem here.

And, hang on, white people? What does white people have anything to do with the situation of being anti-social?
 

Coffee Lover

Bronze Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2004
Messages
2,608
Awards
6
Location
United States of America
Tell your dad how you feel, calmly. Do you have any interests?

He doesn't want to talk about it anymore, period. I tried to bring it up again and he told me to shut up and threatened to beat me. I have other interests but lack of interests is not the problem, it's the fact I can't do anything no more than a hour.

Demonic Angel, he beat with a dust pan just for saying the A swearing word. He'd break my neck if I said something like that.

And Inner Demon, I have no idea what white people have to do with this. He just keeps preaching about how they control and rule everything around here. He believes the KKK is still around, trying to put us blacks in jail and keep us from getting jobs.
 

Raz

i'm nobody
Staff member
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
9,200
Awards
8
Age
29
Location
Midwest
If he beats you call DCFS. >>;
Tell me your interests, I'll tell you how to be more social.
 

Shadukai X

Banned
Joined
Apr 21, 2005
Messages
1,712
I'm sorry to say this, but if your dad is as stubborn as you say he is, then your gonna just have to do it for awhile.
 

Coffee Lover

Bronze Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2004
Messages
2,608
Awards
6
Location
United States of America
If he beats you call DCFS. >>;
Tell me your interests, I'll tell you how to be more social.

One day he beat me and left a bruise. I called the police, showed them my bruise, and they did NOTHING. All he said was don't call us just because your parents tore your butt up. If you want to see my interests, just look at my profile.
 

The Big Lovin'

Everyone's Favorite Uncle Ji-Chan
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
3,082
One day he beat me and left a bruise. I called the police, showed them my bruise, and they did NOTHING. All he said was don't call us just because your parents tore your butt up. If you want to see my interests, just look at my profile.

Why did he beat you? If it was for no reason, then wtf?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top