Okay, first off I'm just going to say that I am not whoring for attention and the only reason why I am posting this is to get peoples opinions, not their sympathy.
Alright, back to the subject.
In the past two years my mental health hasn't exactly been perfect, and although I haven't wanted to admit it to myself, in the past few months I have and honestly, I have no idea what to do.
My mum has always told me that I need to talk to a consulor, and I have tried, many times, but I never manage to get comfortable, and because of my stubbon ego, I normally get into yelling fits with the doctor and stop talking altogether.
My family isn't perfect either. My brother is physically violent towards me, taking what ever chance he can get to let out all his problems on me. I've been sent away a few times because of this. And my little brother, unfortunately, is following in example, thinking that I'm an easy push over.
In the last two years, I've been attending school a lot less, and in the past months I haven't been to school at all. I recently went to a local teenage help center, called Headspace. It's a free place for kids to hang out and talk to an adult trained in that area.
Though the woman I have been speaking (and the only one I have been able to speak to) to has said to me that I need more professional help than she can give me, and also she has recently quite for another job, leaving me with a brand new person to discuss my problems with.
I have been diagnozed(sp?) with minor depression, major anxiety and major confidence issues (though none of these are obvious when I waltz around the forums). I find all of these difficult to live with, and when ever I think about it I end up getting myself all worked up again.
I've lived with situations like this before. My sister and cousin have had close to the same problems, and on many ocassions I have been the one to calm them down. But this seems more difficult for me than anything before in my life.
When ever I am in public areas I feel like crying and hiding away in my house, and speaking to my friends makes me feel really bad inside as well. Even when I speak to them online I'm shaking and I have no idea why. They are the best friends in the world.
In two days, the new school semester is to begin, and I'm to go in on Monday like any normal student. Just thinking about it terrifies me and I really don't want to go, but I love learning and I really want to learn, I just can't stand being in puplic areas.
The only places I really have any confidence in myself is on KHI and in my house. And I guess all I really want to know is if anyone has been in any similar position and/or if they have any advice to help me in any part of whats screwing up my life.
Also, sorry the major long post, there is just a lot going on. And please, don't flame just because you think I'm an attention whore, I can assure I'm not =)
Alright, back to the subject.
In the past two years my mental health hasn't exactly been perfect, and although I haven't wanted to admit it to myself, in the past few months I have and honestly, I have no idea what to do.
My mum has always told me that I need to talk to a consulor, and I have tried, many times, but I never manage to get comfortable, and because of my stubbon ego, I normally get into yelling fits with the doctor and stop talking altogether.
My family isn't perfect either. My brother is physically violent towards me, taking what ever chance he can get to let out all his problems on me. I've been sent away a few times because of this. And my little brother, unfortunately, is following in example, thinking that I'm an easy push over.
In the last two years, I've been attending school a lot less, and in the past months I haven't been to school at all. I recently went to a local teenage help center, called Headspace. It's a free place for kids to hang out and talk to an adult trained in that area.
Though the woman I have been speaking (and the only one I have been able to speak to) to has said to me that I need more professional help than she can give me, and also she has recently quite for another job, leaving me with a brand new person to discuss my problems with.
I have been diagnozed(sp?) with minor depression, major anxiety and major confidence issues (though none of these are obvious when I waltz around the forums). I find all of these difficult to live with, and when ever I think about it I end up getting myself all worked up again.
I've lived with situations like this before. My sister and cousin have had close to the same problems, and on many ocassions I have been the one to calm them down. But this seems more difficult for me than anything before in my life.
When ever I am in public areas I feel like crying and hiding away in my house, and speaking to my friends makes me feel really bad inside as well. Even when I speak to them online I'm shaking and I have no idea why. They are the best friends in the world.
In two days, the new school semester is to begin, and I'm to go in on Monday like any normal student. Just thinking about it terrifies me and I really don't want to go, but I love learning and I really want to learn, I just can't stand being in puplic areas.
The only places I really have any confidence in myself is on KHI and in my house. And I guess all I really want to know is if anyone has been in any similar position and/or if they have any advice to help me in any part of whats screwing up my life.
Also, sorry the major long post, there is just a lot going on. And please, don't flame just because you think I'm an attention whore, I can assure I'm not =)
