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When are you going to have sex?

  • Before Marriage

    Votes: 2 33.3%
  • After Marriage

    Votes: 2 33.3%
  • Never

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • With someone you wont marry

    Votes: 2 33.3%

  • Total voters
    6
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K

kingdomfighter5

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Hey everyone, I think I will be going off the site for a while after I finish Spyells' rp... But that's off topic, I guess I just have a question for those one the site. I am dating this girl for a short time but already told one another we love each other. And I'm pretty sure this is the real deal. The topic of marriage has come up casually. She just wanted to know what I thought about marriage and it turns out we have similar ideals. I am not looking for advice about deciding to get married any time soon (meaning the next three years or so). I just am curious now to what its like. I am an adult now and it is a subject that is on my mind, I often wonder when I was younger what it was like. IDK if I'm weird but I often visualized myself being a father even when I was in elementary school. The ironic thing is that I never want to fully grow up. I want to be that perfect dad and have those awesome kids with an amazing woman one day. I just realized that I have been meandering throughout the first post of the thread an now I feel kind of silly, so let me get to the meat and bones of the reason for the thread. I want everyone to address these topics so I can review them.

I. Marriage, Whats it Like? (Please don't answer if you aren't married)
II. Sex before or after marriage?
III. When is an acceptable age to Propose
IV. When is an acceptable age to Marry
V. If you proposed to a significant other at age 20, What would your parents think?
VI. When do you want to get the question asked or asked the question?

I may add more questions as time goes on
 

Ophan

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I'm going to reject the parenthesized statement for the fact that i am not married. Obviously marriage is something you constantly work at, seeing as it is one of the many big steps you make in life. It all depends how you and your spouse work together as a bond. Although i understand why you specifically put this in this forum, i have to say that the majority of KHI is not married, considering that the website itself is generally targeted for a young audience. Your best bet on this subject would be to question your own parents (or any other guardian figure that raised you), or get some incite for ppl who have good marriages, bad marriages, or both. Adults will be your best incite however fair that goes, but you also have to understand that no amount of knowledge will give you a great understanding of marriage until you experience it yourself, and that happens to somewhat be a glory in the stride of life.

It's up to you and your partner to decide if sex before marriage is something you would consider. Obviously opinions will shift depending on who you talk to. If you want to have sex before marriage no one is forcing you not to.... but keep in mind that if you do have sex, well then LOL! protect yourself (then again that's up to you once again). It's not a hard subject to question, as i said before, make sure that you and your partner come to terms with whatever decision you make. If there is ever a moment of doubt, don't hold yourself back. Be willing to share all your concerns.

There is no real acceptable age in terms of being a young adult, but i suppose in the American society of which i live in, you'd probably propose and marry at the age of 18. Anywhere under, then perhaps you're rushing, but who knows, maybe a young couple can present a bond as well as an older couple. That all relies on maturity. Again you are making a decision, and whether ppl might say something is a good or bad idea, it's all up to you, whether you would like to endure the experience (and im not using "endure" in bad terms). You are ready whenever you feel you're ready so throw acceptability out of the window.

Unless she's 3 years younger than you, what do you care what your parents think...If you love someone and plan to marry them don't let anything get in the way of ruining that relationship. For me personally my mother would be fine so long as i tell her that i am ready and prepared to take that step in life.

I'd be surprised if a woman asked me to marry her. I'd much rather it be me to pop the question, because as a man it seems to be a fitting role for me to be on my knee to express my loyalty to her. Back on point, i'd much rather the question be asked when ready, which i'm sure everyone would feel the same.

It's all up to you. It's your decision whether you want to get married or not. Just make sure that you are 100% sure you are making the right decision.
 
K

kingdomfighter5

Guest
lol thanks. I was just leaving the question semi open ended. She's actually a year older than me so I don't have to worry about that part. Thanks for the input. I know that most people on the site are young but I do want the ideas of other people close to my age.
 

Finland

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Won't answer the first question, I'm not married. My opinion might change as time passes, but at the moment I think that marriage is pretty much useless. Well yes, it creates a strong commitment between a man and a woman, but does that matter when you really love the other and you know you will till the end of your life? I've never found the reason behind it, except all that religious stuff.
I can't say when I'm going to have sex. It happens when it happens, I don't mind if it's before or after marriage.
I have to agree with Zion on the third question. It's time to propose when you are sure about it and it feels like the right choice. Pretty much the same thing with marrying.
If a man asked me to marry him right now, my parents would freak out. At this part of life, when I'm still a teen, age gap is a pretty big thing. Same goes with marriage - even I myself feel that I'm too young for it.
I have no idea when would be the perfect time to get the question. One thing is for sure; I'm not asking. I wouldn't have the guts, if I ever wanted to marry someone. But I guess it doesn't matter when, as long as the relationship has been that long and firm, that you are able to tell if it's going to last.
 
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Won't answer the first question, I'm not married. My opinion might change as time passes, but at the moment I think that marriage is pretty much useless. Well yes, it creates a strong commitment between a man and a woman, but does that matter when you really love the other and you know you will till the end of your life? I've never found the reason behind it, except all that religious stuff.
I can't say when I'm going to have sex. It happens when it happens, I don't mind if it's before or after marriage.
I have to agree with Zion on the third question. It's time to propose when you are sure about it and it feels like the right choice. Pretty much the same thing with marrying.
If a man asked me to marry him right now, my parents would freak out. At this part of life, when I'm still a teen, age gap is a pretty big thing. Same goes with marriage - even I myself feel that I'm too young for it.
I have no idea when would be the perfect time to get the question. One thing is for sure; I'm not asking. I wouldn't have the guts, if I ever wanted to marry someone. But I guess it doesn't matter when, as long as the relationship has been that long and firm, that you are able to tell if it's going to last.

This echos my thoughts, exactly.

I see absolutely NO point in marriage, other than as a romantic gesture. I have no faith, so the religious undertones just fly over my head without me noticing. I could be in a relationship for an entire relationship that could span decades and if she shared my view on the matter, we would never want to get married. Think of all the money that would go to waste on the ceremony, for signing the papers, etc. etc. No thank you.

HOWEVER, if I *were* to get married... I want my bride to wear a tux. Women look so handsome in a tux. <3
 

Finland

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This echos my thoughts, exactly.

I see absolutely NO point in marriage, other than as a romantic gesture. I have no faith, so the religious undertones just fly over my head without me noticing. I could be in a relationship for an entire relationship that could span decades and if she shared my view on the matter, we would never want to get married. Think of all the money that would go to waste on the ceremony, for signing the papers, etc. etc. No thank you.

Seconded. It would all just be a big, money-consuming fuss. Also, you'd have to do tons of preparations and remember to invite everyone... I wouldn't be too eager to waste my time on that.

HOWEVER, if I *were* to get married... I want my bride to wear a tux. Women look so handsome in a tux. <3

And you would wear the wedding gown? :D
 
K

kingdomfighter5

Guest
But with the money in the long run, income tax is combine, so you end up losing a lot less money in the long run. And there are legal things that have to do with the will. That's why gays want marriage rights, so they can get the benefits the government gives to married couples. Just saying but thank you both for the input
 

krexia

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Also skipping the first question since I'm not married.

I was brought up in a secular household and have never had any qualms, religious or otherwise, about safe sex practised between consenting adults. I've had sex with multiple partners, both in long-term relationships and 'one night stands'. Sex can be an expression of deep love between committed partners, or it can be simple physical fun, and I've thoroughly enjoyed my experiences of both. Obviously sex carries certain risks and is not something one should do without being aware of those risks, but I personally think marrying someone you have not had sex with is a pretty stupid idea. Sex alone doesn't make a relationship, but it is an important part of relationships. Committing to a marriage without knowing whether you're sexually compatible with your partner seems to me as short-sighted as marrying someone without knowing whether they want to have children.

I don't believe there's any 'acceptable age' to propose or to marry, but I do think that it's important to consider that certain life experiences can dramatically change your views and goals. University, for example, is a major step in most people's lives, and very few come out of it the same person they were when they went in. Marrying someone right before you both go off to college therefore seems to me like a very bad idea; of all the people I know who were in long-term relationships when they started university, only one couple survived it still together.

My parents, I know, would have the same views that I do - that 20 is too turbulent a time of life to be making long-term decisions like marriage. Thankfully I have fantastic parents who, rather than trying to order me around, have always explained their opinions and treated me like an adult. If I'd disagreed with them and been dead-set on marrying at 20, I know they would have supported my decision. But they would also have told me of their concerns and urged me to wait a few years until I was more settled in life and knew where I was heading.

As for proposals, again I really don't think any specific age is 'right'. I'm not in a long-term relationship at the moment so it's not something I think about; if I meet a person I want to spend the rest of my life with that's all well and good, but I'm not interested in chasing marriage for its own sake. I do think that in most cases these days, marriage proposals are more of a formality than anything else. Although the man may technically ask the woman for her hand, in reality by the time a relationship gets to that point both partners have probably been expecting to get married for some time.
 
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