Help/Support ► Long distance friends, and annoying close ones

[Annoyance]

This has been bothering me for a while now. My best friend Nik, who I've known for 7-8 years, has moved away to Boston. We had about a year knowing this and I said goodbye to him last Friday. Work's been able to distract me enough, and I have some friends who are there for me anyways, so I'm managing to deal with it... It's still difficult, though, since it's so hard to stay in contact with someone that far away, when both of you are busy with your separate lives. He's going through a tough time, too, trying to meet people. I wish I could help him, but I don't even know how to meet people myself.

I'd appreciate ideas for me and him to still stay in contact, since skype won't work on our internet connections, and maybe ideas for him to meet new people in Boston.


Moving on from that, recently, I got my hair redone by my [calling her this for simplicity] friend, Julia. I met Julia through my exboyfriend Corey and they're married and have a kid so I have to listen to his bullshit whenever I go over, but it's fine, I know him well so I don't care. Julia, however, to be blunt about it... is a moron sometimes and it's hard for me to talk to her at some points. Other's, it's just shooting the shit, but other times, she's extremely quick to judge [i've heard "gross," "ew," "stupid," from her 3 times an hour at least, sometimes talking about people that I actually really like?], refuses to pick up a book or have a discussion about anything...

Not to mention she calls me ALL THE TIME to the point of sheer insanity to check up on me if I do agree to hang out later. "Where are you?" "When are you heading out?" "What route are you taking?" No texts, she's old fashioned like that. She needs to call. Sometimes she'll do it when I'm at work, even when I tell her not to call me. Nik joked before he left that she's my new wife now.


Ugh, point is, she did a decent job on my hair, but I'm actually considering not hanging out with her anymore, or if I do, on a strict professional basis because I can't deal with her bullshit anymore. Even then, she didn't tell me that my hair would cost me 100 dollars, compared to the 40 [just for the procedure] which included me buying the products that she kept talking up.



The main, and pretty much the thing that broke the camel's back for me, is during the process of her curling my hair and finishing it up, we started talking about Nik and him moving away, how I was holding up, all the feelings we had for each other, etc. I was talking about it all, saying I was just trying to get by day by day.

She said, "Yeah, you'll get past it soon enough."

"Yeah, I know. Just happened, though, so it's still a little rough. You're right though."

"Hate to say it though, you know, but everyone has a replacement. It's just how it is. I don't really ever take long to get over people, it's just whatever, you know?"

"I don't know about that, I don't really wanna think about replacing him... he's still there, he's just not able to physically hang out with me..."

"Well you're always welcome to come here and hang out with me."

"Yeah I know."




I'm just kind of, done, you know? I hate seeing her and my ex boyfriend fight while they have a kid, I hate dealing with her crazy antics, and the garbage bullshit that she spouts out of her mouth with no real thought of how it may come out to people [just being HONEST TEEHEEHEE no you're being a dumbass dick], hate arguing with her over the stupid shit she posts on facebook, and that conversation just fucking killed it all for me. I'm fucking done. Julia, you are not going to replace Nik for me. You cannot do that. Do not say that to someone like me, for fuck's sake.


But I have no idea how to even tell her that. I'm scared to tell her, scared of what my exboyfriend may do for hurting his wife's feelings, scared of what he'll do to her or the baby in the future because apparently i'm the only one of her friend's who knows of his abusive behavior. I don't want to feel responsible for that, but I just have it sitting there in the back of my mind, like something's going to happen.




i also apologize for how messy this post is, but i really don't know how to break this to her with all the outcomes that are in my head right now

 

[robvandam111]

I'd say this and try to keep it this way. First and foremost' value yourself. With that you'll demand respect for yourself to whomever decides to approach you in life. You can't be worrying too much about your closes friends immersesly. She's with your ex now, and everything that goes under that roof with that child is their priority. Also, now that she has family with your Ex. It's really obvious they have been talking behind your back. There's no need to hide it and its thanks to him but no worries.

Secondly, it's unfortunate you've been disconnected from a close friendship. You can still communicate with him with all means necessary. It all takes its effort to continue that bond that you two have. Once something is lost, that's when you'll notice its time to move on. That's why I mentioned in the beginning to value yourself. It takes maturity to understand that type of people that will stay in your life and those that don't need to be in your life. Good friendships are always handle with respect, class and principle morals with responsibilities.

 

[Annoyance]

I'd say this and try to keep it this way. First and foremost' value yourself. With that you'll demand respect for yourself to whomever decides to approach you in life. You can't be worrying too much about your closes friends immersesly. She's with your ex now, and everything that goes under that roof with that child is their priority. Also, now that she has family with your Ex. It's really obvious they have been talking behind your back. There's no need to hide it and its thanks to him but no worries.

Secondly, it's unfortunate you've been disconnected from a close friendship. You can still communicate with him with all means necessary. It all takes its effort to continue that bond that you two have. Once something is lost, that's when you'll notice its time to move on. That's why I mentioned in the beginning to value yourself. It takes maturity to understand that type of people that will stay in your life and those that don't need to be in your life. Good friendships are always handle with respect, class and principle morals with responsibilities.

I should mention that Corey was my boyfriend from high school, I really don't give a shit about the relationship aspect. I'm kind of curious, though, how it seems like they're talking behind my back? I haven't noticed anything personally like that. I just feel like Julia is an idiot who doesn't know how to treat people with respect outside of shallow relationships. Which is fine, but not really something I look for in a friendship like she wants me to have with her. We just don't click and it feels like she wants me to click with her like I do with Nik. It just feels insulting, especially with him gone like he is now.

 

[robvandam111]

I should mention that Corey was my boyfriend from high school, I really don't give a shit about the relationship aspect. I'm kind of curious, though, how it seems like they're talking behind my back? I haven't noticed anything personally like that. I just feel like Julia is an idiot who doesn't know how to treat people with respect outside of shallow relationships. Which is fine, but not really something I look for in a friendship like she wants me to have with her. We just don't click and it feels like she wants me to click with her like I do with Nik. It just feels insulting, especially with him gone like he is now.

They are together, you wouldn't know what goes behind the curtain between them about you. What she needs to do is to give you your own space and you got to talk to her about it. Just tell her to listen to you, this is how I feel and I don't need anyone to invade into my emotions because if not, she's going to roll over you and have you as her puppet. There's a certain age where you can't tolerate people to step over you. Also, you need to find your comfort zone to relax in order to stay away from this stress and emotions. With what happened with your friend Nik; it'll just make you learn these certain aspects of life. Which really natural but the pain is only temporary even if it seems like a curse. Always try to be happy.

 

[Annoyance]

I realize that I need to know who's the good from the bad friends, believe me, I've lost many by weeding out the bad eggs and keeping the good. I just have this sneaking feeling that something bad will happen if I be honest with her the wrong way. I've had one friend I stopped being friends with that literally felt like a stereotypical break up [it's not you it's me i swear to god i nearly said that shit]

I really don't want to have to go through that again because I can feel how attached Julia is to me since she actually kinda hates her husband, and has no other friends. she just sits at home on her phone talking to friends who don't feel like visiting her and taking care of the baby. I'm also kind of worried that if I hurt her feelings Corey will be mad and I don't want to deal with him and his anger or bullshit.

 

[MESMAR_RISING]

This has been bothering me for a while now. My best friend Nik, who I've known for 7-8 years, has moved away to Boston. We had about a year knowing this and I said goodbye to him last Friday. Work's been able to distract me enough, and I have some friends who are there for me anyways, so I'm managing to deal with it... It's still difficult, though, since it's so hard to stay in contact with someone that far away, when both of you are busy with your separate lives. He's going through a tough time, too, trying to meet people. I wish I could help him, but I don't even know how to meet people myself.

I'd appreciate ideas for me and him to still stay in contact, since skype won't work on our internet connections, and maybe ideas for him to meet new people in Boston.

I'll admit that I just searched how long it would take to go from where your profile says you lived to Boston and that is pretty awful. I can understand that this is still somewhat fresh and you likely miss being able to have some actual face time, but you can still speak on the phone. Also, it sounds cheesy but have you considered sending him a care package? If he's having as tough a time with this as you seem to be then I can imagine that he would appreciate such a gesture. Sending letters, e-mails and any other method of written communication can help fill some of that void in between phone calls.

As for him meeting new people in Boston, are you two romantically involved at all? Is there any interest in such a thing from either one of you? I realize that you say that you've been friends for a number of years, but it's worth knowing definitively before I can really weigh in on what I think he should be doing in a new environment to meet new people. What is he like? What does he like? Why is he there? Does he not work with anyone around his age? Sorry if this seems a little invasive or if some of those questions seem obtuse, but they're worth answering.

Moving on from that, recently, I got my hair redone by my [calling her this for simplicity] friend, Julia. I met Julia through my exboyfriend Corey and they're married and have a kid so I have to listen to his bullshit whenever I go over, but it's fine, I know him well so I don't care. Julia, however, to be blunt about it... is a moron sometimes and it's hard for me to talk to her at some points. Other's, it's just shooting the shit, but other times, she's extremelyquick to judge [i've heard "gross," "ew," "stupid," from her 3 times an hour at least, sometimes talking about people that I actually really like?], refuses to pick up a book or have a discussion about anything...

Not to mention she calls me ALL THE TIME to the point of sheer insanity to check up on me if I do agree to hang out later. "Where are you?" "When are you heading out?" "What route are you taking?" No texts, she's old fashioned like that. She needs to call. Sometimes she'll do it when I'm at work, even when I tell her not to call me. Nik joked before he left that she's my new wife now.

I don't know her so it's hard to get a clear picture, but it sounds like you're being awfully critical about someone who hasn't done you any wrong. I can't say that I'd be overly enthused by somebody calling me constantly either, but you really don't have to pick up the phone. I like to call sometimes too, it's quicker than texting and I can get a feel for what someone means better. Also, don't judge someone on whether or not they read - get out of here, Charles Dickens.

Ugh, point is, she did a decent job on my hair, but I'm actually considering not hanging out with her anymore, or if I do, on a strict professional basis because I can't deal with her bullshit anymore. Even then, she didn't tell me that my hair would cost me 100 dollars, compared to the 40 [just for the procedure] which included me buying the products that she kept talking up.

The main, and pretty much the thing that broke the camel's back for me, is during the process of her curling my hair and finishing it up, we started talking about Nik and him moving away, how I was holding up, all the feelings we had for each other, etc. I was talking about it all, saying I was just trying to get by day by day.

She said, "Yeah, you'll get past it soon enough."

"Yeah, I know. Just happened, though, so it's still a little rough. You're right though."

"Hate to say it though, you know, but everyone has a replacement. It's just how it is. I don't really ever take long to get over people, it's just whatever, you know?"

"I don't know about that, I don't really wanna think about replacing him... he's still there, he's just not able to physically hang out with me..."

"Well you're always welcome to come here and hang out with me."

"Yeah I know."

Honestly, I don't see how this was the straw that broke the camel's back. To be frank about this, it sounds like she is genuinely trying to help you out but you're upset because she's not telling you what you want to hear. Like you admitted, it just happened and it's still a little rough. Is she the person that you need to give you the hard truth? Probably not. Is she right? Somewhat. Also, $100 to cut and style your hair and get some product is pretty cheap for a woman. I've paid for a haircut or two over the years and if I could sneak by with $40 for a cut and style I'd be pretty thankful, but that's just me. It sounds like she's doing you a favour.

I'm just kind of, done, you know? I hate seeing her and my ex boyfriend fight while they have a kid, I hate dealing with her crazy antics, and the garbage bullshit that she spouts out of her mouth with no real thought of how it may come out to people [just being HONEST TEEHEEHEE no you're being a dumbass dick], hate arguing with her over the stupid shit she posts on facebook, and that conversation just diddlying killed it all for me. I'm diddlying done. Julia, you are not going to replace Nik for me. You cannot do that. Do not say that to someone like me, for diddly's sake.

But I have no idea how to even tell her that. I'm scared to tell her, scared of what my exboyfriend may do for hurting his wife's feelings, scared of what he'll do to her or the baby in the future because apparently i'm the only one of her friend's who knows of his abusive behavior. I don't want to feel responsible for that, but I just have it sitting there in the back of my mind, like something's going to happen.

Them fighting is none of your business. Unless it moves to a physical altercation you should let them figure out their own problems. I'll address the remainder of this shortly...

i also apologize for how messy this post is, but i really don't know how to break this to her with all the outcomes that are in my head right now

I forgive you.

Now, I think your biggest problem with Julia is the fact that you think she's forcing a closeness that you don't think exists. This is a fair, but I really think that you're getting so frustrated mostly because you're upset that your friend Nik is gone. If you really want some advice on what you should do, then I would wait until you've settled into the fact that your friend isn't around anymore and how you're going to cope with that. I wouldn't push away someone who is trying to help you feel better (even if right now you feel like they're really not). If you need some alone time turn off your phone and just pull out for a bit. Don't say anything to Julia that would cause her to turn on you - just go with the flow for a few weeks and calm down.

I realize this post probably hurts your eyes to read, so TLDR:

1) Your friend isn't dead and Skype isn't the only way to talk. Call him.
2) Stay out of Julia and Corey's marriage. If it's a realistic fear that he might kick the shit out of her then talk to her and call the cops if necessary. If it's not worth going to that extent, it's none of your business and it's probably not as bad as you think.
3) Don't say anything to Julia about you being upset. Give it a few weeks and reassess the situation at that point. Don't answer your phone if you don't want to talk to someone that's calling (this one is good for telemarketers and unknown callers as well).

Sorry if this is somewhat disjointed, I was trying to address everything individually.

 

[robvandam111]

I realize that I need to know who's the good from the bad friends, believe me, I've lost many by weeding out the bad eggs and keeping the good. I just have this sneaking feeling that something bad will happen if I be honest with her the wrong way. I've had one friend I stopped being friends with that literally felt like a stereotypical break up [it's not you it's me i swear to god i nearly said that shit]

I really don't want to have to go through that again because I can feel how attached Julia is to me since she actually kinda hates her husband, and has no other friends. she just sits at home on her phone talking to friends who don't feel like visiting her and taking care of the baby. I'm also kind of worried that if I hurt her feelings Corey will be mad and I don't want to deal with him and his anger or bullshit.

Then its simple. All you have to do is find that space of yours; keep yourself busy and interact with her when you can in person. If she hates her husband and you know what you dealt with by him. There's really no reason for you to worry because that's not your problem; that's hers. I understand that circumstances you're being put on with her and you really don't need that in your life. All you have to do is keep yourself busy; prioritize yourself and make yourself happy by finding things that you know that makes you happy. It's really easy.

Plus, I know you don't want to throw her in the back of the bus or fend her off out of your life but just naturally keep yourself moving and create those shields that can protect you from that type of drama. You'll come out of this and you will see.

Just take it slow; step by step.

 

[Annoyance]

I'll admit that I just searched how long it would take to go from where your profile says you lived to Boston and that is pretty awful. I can understand that this is still somewhat fresh and you likely miss being able to have some actual face time, but you can still speak on the phone. Also, it sounds cheesy but have you considered sending him a care package? If he's having as tough a time with this as you seem to be then I can imagine that he would appreciate such a gesture. Sending letters, e-mails and any other method of written communication can help fill some of that void in between phone calls.

As for him meeting new people in Boston, are you two romantically involved at all? Is there any interest in such a thing from either one of you? I realize that you say that you've been friends for a number of years, but it's worth knowing definitively before I can really weigh in on what I think he should be doing in a new environment to meet new people. What is he like? What does he like? Why is he there? Does he not work with anyone around his age? Sorry if this seems a little invasive or if some of those questions seem obtuse, but they're worth answering.

I've thought about it, yeah. He'd probably appreciate getting a little something from everyone soon, especially since his birthday is coming up.

As for that...
We were... I guess, dating, before he moved. Nothing was official, we were just exclusively together in a way. Considering the time frames and essentially the clock ticking down on us, him dealing with a lot of relationship problems, and the fact that we're both going to school this semester, it pained both of us, because we love each other, but it was decided that we both shouldn't date long distance, and I have too many things keeping me down here to move there with him or anything crazy like that.

His mom was promoted to vice president of sales in the company she works in, big company, idk, but she asked Nik if he wanted to go with and with the amount of opportunity presented to him in that area, with New York there as well, and many good schools, he said yes.

As for the other stuff wow getting emotional
Nik is both outgoing but shy, a freaking dork when he's comfortable, but feels he makes an ass of himself a lot, so he holds himself back. He's more outgoing when he has people with him, and he feels like people already have their cliques and friends these days and our age... I hope he meets some people in college. Hopefully he can join some clubs I just worry about him. He's hilarious and loves video games, anime, just giant nerd all around. He's really scared of rejection though, that's the thing.

I don't know her so it's hard to get a clear picture, but it sounds like you're being awfully critical about someone who hasn't done you any wrong. I can't say that I'd be overly enthused by somebody calling me constantly either, but you really don't have to pick up the phone. I like to call sometimes too, it's quicker than texting and I can get a feel for what someone means better. Also, don't judge someone on whether or not they read - get out of here, Charles Dickens.

I call for quick messages too, when I'm lazy, but the calls are unnecessary. If I agree to hang out with her, I get about 5 calls
"hey when are you leaving"
"have you left yet"
"when are you getting here"
"what route are you taking"
etc.

It's especially painful when I don't even know those details yet.

As for the book thing, it's not too big of an issue, really, but it kind of hurts my pride a little with her insulting something I'm VERY passionate about, saying she doesn't care about grammar at all, she thinks knowing proper grammar is useless, that reading is useless... and here I am trying to get an English major to be an editor. It just kind of hurts my feelings? I don't know. I know I come off like a dick.

Honestly, I don't see how this was the straw that broke the camel's back. To be frank about this, it sounds like she is genuinely trying to help you out but you're upset because she's not telling you what you want to hear. Like you admitted, it just happened and it's still a little rough. Is she the person that you need to give you the hard truth? Probably not. Is she right? Somewhat. Also, $100 to cut and style your hair and get some product is pretty cheap for a woman. I've paid for a haircut or two over the years and if I could sneak by with $40 for a cut and style I'd be pretty thankful, but that's just me. It sounds like she's doing you a favour.

It was something that set me off because it was not the time to tell me something like that, especially something that isn't true or necessary. Nik didn't die, he's still my best friend and we're gonna do our damndest to still be friends, so why is he being replaced? It's just an oddball thing to say to someone like me in my situation, and felt almost like she was happy he's gone. She consistently asked me when he was leaving over and over and over, it almost scared me. It was none of her concern but she just wanted me to hang out with her.

To say something like everyone has a replacement...
1. It isn't really true. Everyone is different to me. Everyone is unique. It just feels rude to say that new people will just invalidate the one that came before them. It just isn't true to me.
2. Nik is not going to be replaced.
3. He has no reason to be replaced.
4. Julia and I don't see eye to eye as I do with other people. You have a fair point that I'm not letting her in as much, sure, but that's because I get defensive when people tell me shit like this.
5. To tell me that people have replacements only makes me think about how I am/have been replaced, sending me into a spiral of an anxiety attack, which is what I had when I got home and started thinking about my visit with her.


As for the haircut and dye job I know it's a reasonable price, but I was under the impression I'd be paying the same I was for the fix up, not the entire process over again, also without the upselling of stuff I won't even use yet.

Them fighting is none of your business. Unless it moves to a physical altercation you should let them figure out their own problems. I'll address the remainder of this shortly...

I know, I'm just expecting some sort of call soon. I just know what Corey put me through and what he's capable of.

Now, I think your biggest problem with Julia is the fact that you think she's forcing a closeness that you don't think exists. This is a fair, but I really think that you're getting so frustrated mostly because you're upset that your friend Nik is gone. If you really want some advice on what you should do, then I would wait until you've settled into the fact that your friend isn't around anymore and how you're going to cope with that. I wouldn't push away someone who is trying to help you feel better (even if right now you feel like they're really not). If you need some alone time turn off your phone and just pull out for a bit. Don't say anything to Julia that would cause her to turn on you - just go with the flow for a few weeks and calm down.

Most of this is right, like, I don't necessarily want to just stop being friends with her, she just says a lot of unnecessary shit and I'm not close enough with her to feel comfortable being honest with her. I don't feel like I care enough because tbh I'm fucking tired. I don't know how else to put it. She's exhausting to me, and doesn't understand how introverted I really am. I don't want a billion calls, I want a text asking me if I'm free some time. Not daily calls at unpredictable times. I'm just so frustrated, and you're right, partially is because Nik is gone and I keep just thinking "man i want to hang out with nik instead" because he was my comfort zone...

But at the same time, I hung out with my friend Cullen, or old friends from highschool today, and they don't give me the same feeling of exhaustion that Julia does, or the on edge feeling that I get. I don't even think it's because she's a new person. I'm just nervous of her attitude.

I realize this post probably hurts your eyes to read, so TLDR:

1) Your friend isn't dead and Skype isn't the only way to talk. Call him.
2) Stay out of Julia and Corey's marriage. If it's a realistic fear that he might kick the shit out of her then talk to her and call the cops if necessary. If it's not worth going to that extent, it's none of your business and it's probably not as bad as you think.
3) Don't say anything to Julia about you being upset. Give it a few weeks and reassess the situation at that point. Don't answer your phone if you don't want to talk to someone that's calling (this one is good for telemarketers and unknown callers as well).

Sorry if this is somewhat disjointed, I was trying to address everything individually.

1. Have been. Just nervous to really. It feels like every time I do I wake him up. @___@
2. Yeah, true.
3. @___@ this is so hard for me to do but yeah.
goddammit she'll see me at work probably though but yeah. i just wish she'd remember things i say to her to begin with. i've said i prefer text literally every time because calling is more alarming to me a lot of the time. sigh i don't know.

thanks though man.

 

[MESMAR_RISING]

I'm not going to quote everything this time, but I'll try to hit everything I think is worth addressing.

Honestly, the advice I would have given for him to meet new people would be to start getting out there and dating. I think that for the sake of both of you that might not be the best idea (at least, I wouldn't suggest it if I were you). Don't even address that unless he brings it up or you start seeing someone else first. Nobody likes a martyr and since you obviously have feelings for him it's not worth making yourself feel like shit because you think you're doing something for his benefit.

As far as the two of you go with meeting new people, if you're both starting school soon (I've been out of that game for a while so I'm just going to assume that it's in September) then half of that problem is solved right there. He's in a pretty good position on this one -- I've never heard of where you're from other than to look it up in relation to where it is from Boston, but it looked like it was a relatively small town? I don't know. Sorry if I'm completely off-base on that one, but I think that Nik is going to be alright. As for you, I think that you should focus less on trying to maintain that same closeness that you have with him and more on putting yourself out there and building some new relationships once you're in school. It's less about replacing the friend that left and more about figuring out who you are now that your relationship (as it became in the last year) is more or less over for the time being.

If you love him then you're going to feel like shit for a while. Hopefully you have some kind of support network around you that can help with that, but there's really no avoiding it. You might not have been dating in the most traditional sense, but this probably feels like any other breakup so deal with that as you will.

The calls as you laid out seem pretty brutal. This might just be me, but at a certain point I would just find that funny. As for being insulted because you're studying English and want to be an editor; get used to it. You're in the minority and probably will always be -- it's again not ideal, but you should learn not to take stuff like that personally. Based on what you've said her skill-set lies mostly in more hands-on stuff and service based professions. Not every plumber is going to be concerned about the use of an oxford comma and not everyone who cuts your hair is going to be as well-read as you. Do what works for you and let her do what works for her.


Nik isn't going to be the person that you hang out with constantly. He's probably not going to be the person that you're dating in 3 months and he might not even be someone that you talk to every day in 3 weeks. You will find someone else for the little things that you used to look to him for. This is the reality that you have to accept now that he has moved so far away and there are significant barriers in the way of you two communicating regularly.

People are replaced every day. At work, new friends, new lovers, etc. It's not a very nice thing to admit and probably not a nice thought, but it's a realistic one. In 10 years from now your relationship with Nik could be the exact same (or better) as before he left. It probably won't be. You might speak from time to time, but it likely won't be every day. It might not be consistent and you might have found someone else that makes you feel the exact same way. What you had with him can't be replaced, but someone new will probably come into your life that makes you feel the same.

I don't really know anything about you other than what you've written in this thread, but you seem like you're somewhat introverted. Having a friendship with someone that is clearly not will likely be a challenge, but it's not a bad thing to push yourself out of your comfort zone (especially in such a safe way). She sounds like she cares about you and is also overbearing. Take the good with the bad and just go with it. Also, turn off your ringer - it will be less alarming that way.

And tell him to wake the fuck up.

 

[Annoyance]

Maybe. I don't know anything of the future, but I'm just seeing where things take me a step at a time right now so I don't really want to think like "yeah we'll stop talking eventually" or something.

Also, Geneva is a suburb of Chicago. :v there are plenty of people here. I just end up not getting along and getting nervous and paranoid of intentions.

I also know for now, at least for a good while, he isn't going to date anyone while he's in school. That just included me as well. We have to focus on ourselves and it would have been more pressure than we could bear.

 

[robvandam111]

Maybe. I don't know anything of the future, but I'm just seeing where things take me a step at a time right now so I don't really want to think like "yeah we'll stop talking eventually" or something.

Also, Geneva is a suburb of Chicago. :v there are plenty of people here. I just end up not getting along and getting nervous and paranoid of intentions.

I also know for now, at least for a good while, he isn't going to date anyone while he's in school. That just included me as well. We have to focus on ourselves and it would have been more pressure than we could bear.

Always be you no matter who you meet. And if you like, you could also pretend to animated inspired by your own favorite characters and from there on you can just keep on evolving and connected. I for one, have been used by a couple of people and I learned the hard way but one thing that I learned as well...is you're appreciated.

Have you seen the Waterboy from Adam Sandler? You can do that too. That's what I meant in the beginning there.

 

[Annoyance]

:v so to update i guess, i've decided to just not hang out with her for a couple months or so, depending on how often she says hurtful/unhelpful shit on my facebook.
[mainly what upsets me is she talked to me like she has anxiety issues, then talked to me like she doesn't understand, then back to understanding previously before, and now this.]

i'm honestly surprised she called me [again, despite me telling her not to do that] to hang out yesterday but i was getting ready for work and really tired. i just... i don't know.

I just can't diddlying keep up with her, and she outright ignores my requests for patience with things like the phone or my social anxiety. My request to not call me because I really don't like talking on the phone, I get nervous, and it's much much much better to just text me. I could be at work, or sleeping, or busy. Texting is much easier, and doesn't have me freak out!

"Oh well I'm just old fashioned, you should call me."

sigh




As for my situation with Nik, we're continuing to talk whenever, and we're starting to play Final Fantasy XIV [on Diabolos] together and Splatoon and whatever we feel like. It's really nice to skype with him regardless.