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stephaknee

Hakuna Matata
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Whenever my boyfriend goes out with someone who isn't me, even if it's a guy, I start feeling extremely depressed. The feeling doesn't go away for a few days, either, even after we hang out. It's not that I don't trust him, because I do; I'm not even sure why I get sad.

I can't really talk to him about this because for 1.) I don't want him to think I'm crazy and 2.) I don't want him to feel guilty about going out. I try to go out and distract myself but it seems that it's all I can think about. Any suggestion on how to get over this? :/
 

Josiah

Quarian Power!
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Hmm, I'm sorry about all of this. v.v;
Anywhoo, I'd recommend Going somewhere with your Boyfriend WITH his friends. :D Maybe that will prove to your brain that there is nothing wrong, when nothing wrong happens. :/ But no, your not crazy, XD lol. You CAN'T be the only person who feels this way! :D
Anyway, Good luck with everything, and I hope everything goes well. :D Hope I helped a tiny bit atleast. o_o
 

Johnny Stooge

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Yeah, you're definately not alone in how you feel about this. My ex-girlfriend was kinda like that.
And that's kinda why she's my ex-girlfriend.
I have a great circle of friends. And there are four in particular who are my life but she couldn't stand it when I spent a day with them and not her. She never told me at the time, but she tried to guilt trip me before we broke up. Sometimes when I had planned a day with my mates in advance, and she knew I'd be out with them, she'd call me to have a conversation on how her day was. Needless to say, I'm glad I'm free from her clutches and I certainly won't be talking to her for a very, very long time. Never, if I have my way.


... Yeah, that's some great advice.
I suggest that you organise something to do with your friends when he's got something with his. But I see you've tried that. I find distractions always a great trick, whatever floats your boat (Apart from him) and keep your mind and you should be set.
From a guy's perspective that's really all I've got to offer, hopefully you'll get over it. Just don't take it levels like she did and you'll be fine.
 

stephaknee

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^ Thanks, I'll definitely keep that in mind; I really don't want him to feel agitated by this. I think a reason it might bother me is because I'm not used to it. Until recently, we would hang out almost every day with each other. But lately he's been going out with his friends more. I'll try and make plans with my friends when he goes out (and do more than just sit on their couch and watch TV). Thanks again<3
 

Davy Jones

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Just let this new twist in your relationship sink in some more, and after a while it will feel much better inside. Also, as previously suggested, you could go out with him with his friends, so you are better acquainted and see that this change will work out.

- The above, helpful or not (sorry!), is brought to you by Dr. Crashkid77, your friendly neighborhood Davy Jones fanatic... with a PhD.
 

stephaknee

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Okays, so Friday we both had plans with our friends to go out. And actually going out with people really took my mind off of him going out; I had a really good time. And I have plans to hang out with him and his best friend, who I talked to on the phone for like an hour when we were fighting, and he seems really spiffyl. So yea, I'm excited ^__^; Thanks for the advice everyone<3
 

Enigmacy

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Whenever my boyfriend goes out with someone who isn't me, even if it's a guy, I start feeling extremely depressed. The feeling doesn't go away for a few days, either, even after we hang out. It's not that I don't trust him, because I do; I'm not even sure why I get sad.

I can't really talk to him about this because for 1.) I don't want him to think I'm crazy and 2.) I don't want him to feel guilty about going out. I try to go out and distract myself but it seems that it's all I can think about. Any suggestion on how to get over this? :/



Its jealousy. Its a good sign. For a relationship to work, you must be jealous of each other. =] Don't worry about it. If you trust him, everything will be fine.
 

bond of flames

you've got a soul, use it.
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i used to think that about my gf when she hung out with guys and her ex bf.but her ex has a gf and he is her best friend.and i trust my gf.we've been through so much and i know she wouldnt do anything

so just try not to think about or just tell ur bf about it
 

Henskie

I'm Batman
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Ok well since you posted here which means you will accept any joe-smo's opinion I will give it to you:

In my experience with relationships there is usually a tendency of one of the people in the relationship to want to still hang around with their old friends and the other to stick with their bf/gf and worries when they are out alone. There are several possible causes of this I think it could be one of the following two:

1) Even though you dont think you are you might deep down be jealous of the people he hangs out with because you feel like they are stealing your time with him. This might sound terribly greedy but it is very common in many relationships.

2) You really truly care for this person and want to spend as much time as possible with that person. Therefore you are extremely lonely when they are out with someone else or generally away. This is highly likely and I have seen it happen with my mom's current boyfriend who cannot stand to be away from her from more than a day. He is very attached and likes to spend as much time as he can with her. You may very well be in this situation. The only remedy I can suggest is to little by little get used to the idea that this person still has a life of their own and has a need to live it. It sounds bad but hey that is my opinion.
 

Ryu

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Basically I see you already did what I would've suggested as well. Go out with him and his friends, or go out with your friends at the same time he is. I'm not a shrink even though I like to think I am - but my reasoning would be that the change from being with him all the time without anyone else around, to seeing him go out without you, was a tad too much. It'd help a lot if you tried hanging out with both him and his friends, and vice versa. I've somewhat been in the same position before, and it'd help a lot if you got to know his friends better and hung out with them more. Even though there's no reason to be jealous in the first place like you said, if you get to know them more, you'll get a more 'trusting' feeling about it when he goes out without you.

Anyway, that's the advice I'd give, based on a tad of own experience. Hope it'll be of some use to you, even though it seems like you're already doing better.
 
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