Help/Support ► lifestyle help?

[MosesMohs]

my boyfriend has a life.
my life is my boyfriend.

...
something is wrong with that sentence.
:T

3/15/07
that was when we started dating.
i love him.
with all my heart.
it's not one of those i-love-every-guy-i-date, or we've-been-dating-for-a-while-so-let's-use-the-l-word things.
i really, truly love him.

i do whatever he says.
he says he doesn't like my friends, i don't hang out with my friends anymore. he tells me not to do something, i don't do it.
i'm so whipped its not funny.

but lately, he's been going out with friends, hanging with them more, having more & more plans.
but instead of getting plans of my own, i wait for him to include me in his.
which doesn't seem to happen.

i want him to be happy.
but it feels like he's happier... without me.

help?

 

[Tyler Durden]

Not talking to your friends because he doesn't like them is stupid.

Just start being who you were before you started dating him, and if he has a problem with it, just break up with him.

 

[violent_anger]

are his friends more fun than you?

 

[MosesMohs]

are his friends more fun than you?

if that's your way of asking if i'm boring, i'm not. i reassure you.

 

[stephaknee]

I'm trying to get over a problem similar to yours. First, you should talk to him about it. I talked to my boyfriend, he understood, and we compromised a bit. While he's out with his friends, you should find something that takes up your time. If you don't hang out with friends, try to find things around the house to do. You'll slowly adjust to it.

 

[Athletics Legend]

If he doesnt include you in his plans then you should dump him...And you should also hang out with your friends more too....

 

[violent_anger]

if that's your way of asking if i'm boring, i'm not. i reassure you.

bloody hell why does there always have to be some hidden meaning? i meant what i asked, plain and simple.

 

[Hypoxium]

my boyfriend has a life.
my life is my boyfriend.

...
something is wrong with that sentence.
:T

3/15/07
that was when we started dating.
i love him.
with all my heart.
it's not one of those i-love-every-guy-i-date, or we've-been-dating-for-a-while-so-let's-use-the-l-word things.
i really, truly love him.

i do whatever he says.
he says he doesn't like my friends, i don't hang out with my friends anymore. he tells me not to do something, i don't do it.
i'm so whipped its not funny.

but lately, he's been going out with friends, hanging with them more, having more & more plans.
but instead of getting plans of my own, i wait for him to include me in his.
which doesn't seem to happen.

i want him to be happy.
but it feels like he's happier... without me.

help?

Yeah, obsessive people get annoying and weird.

You're only fifteen, most teens at that age are just experimenting, they don't want to get as serious as you're making it seem.

Go hang out with your friends, I mean come on, he can't be worth much if he's that controlling.

 

[Ethereal]

Well, you can do one of two things, make him happy, or make yourself happy. It seems you'd be happy with him, and he's happy without you... Did I get that right? If that's the case, know that he's happy being single, but in truth missing out on a really good person. I think you should involve yourself in something, anything. Mabe because you love Kingdom Hearts, I suppose, try cosplaying~! It may take along time before you actually care about what your getting into, and you might even feel like crying, but overtime you'll feel better. Even if that time period exceeds years. Trust me, I know : )
Just be patient. Heartache is teh sucks.

 

[Johnny Stooge]

If he doesnt include you in his plans then you should dump him...And you should also hang out with your friends more too....

What kind of crazy idiot includes his girlfriend in everything he does?

My ex-girlfriend was one of those "I want to spend every waking moment with you" types. Turned me off girlfriends for a year.
Your boyfriend has his friends and they offer him a different kind of happiness to what you do.
So what should you do? Find your own friends, don't worry about what he thinks of them.

Any kind of relationship simply won't work if you're with each other all the time. As much as you may like that person, you need to do things on your own. Things for yourself and not with your partner.

 

[Auriiku]

I'm going to say things differently from others. A little, at least.

I'm currently in a relationship with someone where the only things we do are with each other, pretty much. We've been dating since February this year, and we're perfectly content just talking to each other and no one else. I got rid of my friends, and the other person did as well. Totally happy with it.

Just trying to put some perspective there. Clingy stalkers will have fun dating other clingy stalkers.

Now, onto Mose's (of the Hebrews) problem.

Your boyfriend doesn't include you anymore, despite your sacrifices you've made to him? Have you tried confronting him about it? After you do, which you definitely should, you need to remind him of all the things you've done for him, and possibly guilt trip him. Don't try for too long, though - there's a point to where things are a lost cause. I don't think he'll really change, however. I'd hazard a guess and say you two want entirely different things out of relationships.

If he doesn't come around, though, you're going to want to break it off with him. If you're not happy being with some inconsiderate guy who puts his bros before his ho, you're not going to be happy with him ever unless he starts making you a top dollar priority. He's not going to be worth it, and you'll just end up getting more jealous and depressed. Best to cut your losses and move on than to drag it out.

But if you are looking to be less clingy, you're going to want to stop listening to his complaints about what you do. He doesn't like your friends? Too bad. He doesn't like your plans? Too bad. The key here is investing in yourself rather than him. Do things that make you happy, do things without considering him in the equation. Be happy for yourself and not for him. It's really hard to do, but I've actually done it before for one of my exes. Whom I dumped. But still. It's possible.

 

[Livi]

First of all girl, you need to make your life's meaning something other than your boyfriend. Because if he breaks up with you, well, it's not gonna be good on your part. Because your life's meaning will be gone.

Now, he probably just wants time to hang with his friends. And if he's not including you it means he wants it to be one of those guy times, if that makes sense. So, you should hang out with your friends more. They'll definitely help you with things like this, and it's fun to take a break and just hang out.

But if he's doing it like he's ignoring you, try talking to him. Call him up on the phone and just chat, plan things for just the two of you, while squeezing in time to hang with your friends as well. :] If all else fails, he's not worth your time, and you just move on.

 

[Guile]

I'm trying to get over a problem similar to yours. First, you should talk to him about it. I talked to my boyfriend, he understood, and we compromised a bit. While he's out with his friends, you should find something that takes up your time. If you don't hang out with friends, try to find things around the house to do. You'll slowly adjust to it.

What kind of crazy idiot includes his girlfriend in everything he does?

My ex-girlfriend was one of those "I want to spend every waking moment with you" types. Turned me off girlfriends for a year.
Your boyfriend has his friends and they offer him a different kind of happiness to what you do.
So what should you do? Find your own friends, don't worry about what he thinks of them.

Any kind of relationship simply won't work if you're with each other all the time. As much as you may like that person, you need to do things on your own. Things for yourself and not with your partner.

These two are probably the best pieces of advice you've gotten so far.

Anyway, as others have said, you shouldn't have your boyfriend as your life's meaning 100%. He might be some substantial part in the picture, but he shouldn't be it entirely. Get your own friends, and don't worry too much about what he thinks (unless it's something serious, like he knows the friend and how they are in some negetive manner. The only issue with this is he could be lying to try and get you to get away from friends of yours that he doesn't like, so you'd have to watch out.) Wanting to spend a lot of your time with your boyfriend is natural, but as Stooge said, it gets really annoying to be with the same person consistently. There are always times when people just need to get away for a little while, and be with other people. It happens, and is going to happen more than just then.

In conclusion: Make a compromise with your boyfriend to hang with him and his friends sometimes, make friends/find a hobby for something to do when he's not around. Lastly, though this might not be the best of advice, don't do absolutely everything he says. People need to have some independence, and with what you're saying you're doing I'd guess that you've got next to none, since you're obeying him like a loyal, well-trained dog(My apologies if the reference offends you in any manner.)

 

[Rix]

It's easy to "forget" your friends when you et a boyfriend.. But no matter how much you love him, you should contact your friends again and spend more time with them, like the boy has did with his own friends. You should accept that he will be alone with his friends sometimes and he should accept the same about you.

 

[MosesMohs]

things have gotten a lot better.

i've gotten my life back together.
my friends are back. well. sorta.

i talked to him about it.
& he understands.

thanks you guys.
<3

- moses.

 

[Rix]

Great! That's really good to hear