- Joined
- Jun 30, 2008
- Messages
- 12,681
- Awards
- 44
- Age
- 25
i really hate dumping my problems on other peope but at the same time, this neverending pile of shit stacks itself always. i've been changing lately, not just one or two things but a disastrous cocktail of them. my family is dysfuntional to say the least. my mom raised us mostly, she sheltered my siblings completely, not only homeschooling but to the point where we couldn't interact with any kids our age or leave the house.
serious shit went down (she was diagnosed with MS) and we were forced to interact and leave our holes. i was just under 14 at the time, going out to do shopping and heavy lifting, doing scrap loads with my father and the like, but i was left a socially awkward wreck. these were the happy days of my life, i thought it was fun going out for my dad and helping take care of myself but the glamour wore off.
after shitstorms over the next two years, the bulk of my family was in motels while my mother and one sister were in a nursing home leaving us all essentially homeless until we managed to get a small house to live in. however, the older i get, the more i wanted to get out, have friends, but especially, be away from my family. we are always together, all the time except for when my cousin or uncle takes me to the store.
i practically want to take off and not look back but i feel fucking terrible about even thinking of it. my family is in a complete state of disrepair and most of the shit i omitted, i was once told on this site that withholding part of a truth is lying, and they were right. but i'm not comfortable with sharing what little i am. bottom line is, i don't know what would happen if i left, yet i feel like i'm wasting away myself by staying.
i just feel like i need to talk, in case anybody is listening. i have no plans of being a runaway, i'm just tired and lonely and i would rather bury myself in a video game or television thsn be with my family because i can never leave our house for a while, even if i did, i have no idea what i'd do. my position has got to be a familiar one to someone.
serious shit went down (she was diagnosed with MS) and we were forced to interact and leave our holes. i was just under 14 at the time, going out to do shopping and heavy lifting, doing scrap loads with my father and the like, but i was left a socially awkward wreck. these were the happy days of my life, i thought it was fun going out for my dad and helping take care of myself but the glamour wore off.
after shitstorms over the next two years, the bulk of my family was in motels while my mother and one sister were in a nursing home leaving us all essentially homeless until we managed to get a small house to live in. however, the older i get, the more i wanted to get out, have friends, but especially, be away from my family. we are always together, all the time except for when my cousin or uncle takes me to the store.
i practically want to take off and not look back but i feel fucking terrible about even thinking of it. my family is in a complete state of disrepair and most of the shit i omitted, i was once told on this site that withholding part of a truth is lying, and they were right. but i'm not comfortable with sharing what little i am. bottom line is, i don't know what would happen if i left, yet i feel like i'm wasting away myself by staying.
i just feel like i need to talk, in case anybody is listening. i have no plans of being a runaway, i'm just tired and lonely and i would rather bury myself in a video game or television thsn be with my family because i can never leave our house for a while, even if i did, i have no idea what i'd do. my position has got to be a familiar one to someone.