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Fanfiction ► Legacy of the Marauders (an HP story)



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Elphaba_1

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Bobasmeel

"Good morning, good morning! And how do you do? Good morning, good morning! And Merlin bless you!" Peter sang, very poorly, to awaken Sirius and Remus.

"Wormtail, full moon is tonight," said Remus grumpily, affected again by his PMS (Pre Moon Sickness).

"Sorry," said Peter quickly. "But I can't find Prongs."

Sirius smirked. "I've got a pretty good idea about where he is."

"Where?" Peter asked.

Shaking his head, Sirius replied, "I'll let him tell you when he gets here." He hopped out of bed and pulled a black shirt over his bare torso, knowing that any girls in the common room would die of a heart attack if he failed to do so, but decided not to bother changing his neon blue pyjama pants. "Until then let's go get into some trouble."

Peter and Remus hastily changed out of their pyjamas and when they entered the common room they found it empty, which was unsurprising since it was 6:00 A.M. on a Saturday. Remus and Peter did not have the slightest clue where Sirius was headed, yet they continued to follow him. He eventually stopped at McGonagall's office door. The Christmas wreath had been taken down.

"Padfoot, why-" Remus began.

"You'll see," Sirius answered the unfinished question. He took a knife out of his pocket and slid it through the crevice of the door. It unlocked with a click. Once they were inside with the door shut Sirius instructed, "Find the essays Minnie has to grade. We're going to write our own comments on them."

They searched through drawers until Peter exclaimed, "I found them!"

"Good job," said Sirius.

Peter glowed at the praise.

"Here." Remus handed them each a quill. "I bought these at Zonko's last Hogsmeade weekend. They change the writer's handwriting. This way she won't have proof we did it."

Sirius smirked, accepting the quill. Remus typically wasn't as intriuged by mischief making as the others were, however, on the occasions when he was Remus was extremely good at it.

Peter proceeded to write, Wash your hair! on Snape's essay.

Remus located Malfoy's assignment and wrote, It's obvious you're a natural blonde.

Sirius scrawled on his cousin, Narcissa's, work, You're flat as a board and easy to nail.

Suddenly, a deep voice was heard from the fireplace. "Minerva?" The trio jerked their heads towards the face of a man that was clearly too boring to have any career besides a Ministry worker. He regarded them with surprise. "Where's Professor McGonagall?"

Promptly, Sirius took on the role of a secretary. "I'm Sirius Black, the school heart throb. Our dear professor is not here at the moment. Would you like me to take a message?"

"Er..." the man answered, disturbed by Sirius' behaviour. "That's all right. If you tell me where she is I'll try another fireplace."

Sirius' demeanour quickly altered to one of a Muggle child who is lying on the telephone when he is home alone. "She's in the shower."

"Then where's Professor Dumbledore?"

"He's in there with her."

Then man blanched. "Oh, ah, well, do you know how long they'll be?"

"Probably a few hours."

"I see...Thank you." The man's head disappeared muttering, "I think."

Peter, Remus, and Sirius collapsed into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

"That was brilliant!" gushed Peter.

Remus said, "Yeah, it was, but I'd rather not be here when McGonagall gets back." The others nodded in agreement and the boys returned to their dorm to await James' return.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A scream echoed throughout the room. "Bobasmeel!"

"What's a bobasmeel?" James groggily inquired.

"It's a word I just invented," Lily replied.

"Why would you invent a word?"

"Because, Potter, I don't like swearing, but a swear word seemed necessary right now."

Potter? I thought she was calling me James now...Something must be wrong. He rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes and looked at her. Her emerald eyes were wide with worry. For a moment he had to struggle not to get lost in those beautiful eyes so he could ask, "What's the matter?"

"Tell me you remember what we did last night," Lily pleaded.

He leaned back, straining to recall. It hurt to think. That's when he realised that his head throbbed painfully even if he didn't think. "We got drunk after the party, which explains why my head feels like it got stepped on by a giant." Glancing around the room he said in confusion, "I do remember that the party was in the common room, so why are we in the Room of Requirement?" He knew what room it was because even though the contents of the room changed the unique cheese-patterned wallpaper remained the same.

Although, Lily had no idea where it was, she'd heard of the Room of Requirement. "I don't know, but I'm more concerned with why we required this." She gestured to the bed that the two of them were lying in. The sheets were tangled together and wrinkled, as if they had seen a great amount of physical activity, yet they still covered the bodies of the couple up to their shoulders.

James gulped nervously when his gaze fell upon the sheets. "One of us is going to have to check and see what state of decency, if any, we're in."

After taking a deep breath she quietly volunteered, "I'll do it." Lifting the sheet slightly she peaked underneath it and dropped it almost instantly, her face pale.

"We're not wearing anything, are we?" he asked anxiously.

Slowly, very slowly, Lily shook her head.

"Bobasmeel," muttered James.

There was a silence. An awkward silence. A long awkward silence. A pathetically long awkward silence.

"Maybe we're jumping to conclusions. Maybe nothing happened," said James hopefully, breaking the pathetically long awkward silence. It wasn't that he didn't desire to make-love to Lily, when he was truthful with himself he knew that it was quite the opposite, but if they did he wanted to be certain that Lily would have no regrets about it and he definitely didn't want them to be too drunk to recall it.

"Are you saying that a couple winds up nude in the same bed because they didn't have sex?" Lily's disbelief was obvious.

"It's just that we don't remember, so we could have been doing something else," James insisted, though he did not believe it himself.

Lily suddenly appeared happy for the first time that morning. She leaned over the edge where her garments were in a pile and began searching through them. She laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"This just reminded me of a pick-up line: that outfit you're wearing would look good in a crumpled heap next to my bed."

James chuckled. "My mates and me made a list of pick-up lines once."

"Really? I love them! Most of them never work and are super hilarious."

"What's your favourite?"

"Um, probably: I couldn't help but notice that you look a lot like my next girlfriend." She cried, "I found it!"

"My mind?"

"No, that's beyond finding, James. I found my vial of Memory-Enhancing Draught."

"Why do you have that?"

"I dunno. I guess the crazy author needed me to randomly have it for the plot."

(All readers gasp, "There's a plot?!")

"That makes sense," James reasoned, conjuring two cups. While he had his wand out he magicked the clothes off of the floor onto their owners.

Lily smiled gratefully at him and emptied half of the draught into her cup and the other half into his. They poured the bitter liquid down their throats. The effect of the drink was almost identical to being in a pensieve. James and Lily watched their past selves drink the remaining alcohol and begin snogging on the common room floor. (LadyLupin827's Note: To avoid confusion the "past selves" shall be referred to as Prongs ad Lils, while the regular sober ones are still called James and Lily.)

As their kisses became more heated with passion Prongs jumped off of Lils all of a sudden and declared, "I have a great idea!"

"Which is?" asked Lils. Lily was surprised at how slurred her words sounded.

"Just come with me," urged Prongs. He helped Lils to her feet and she obediently followed him out of the portrait hole, closely tailed by James and Lily.

Prongs walked with his back against the wall and sharply turned corners holding his hands in the shape of a gun like a secret agent.

"What are you doing?" laughed Lils.

"Sneaking up on my enemy," answered Prongs. Boldly, he strutted up to one of the suits of armor in the corridor. "So, Knight, you thought I'd let you get away with it, did you?"

Lils scratched her head in bewilderment. "What did he do?"

"He stole you from me," replied Prongs dramatically.

"Oh, now I know what you mean." Lils cottoned on to Prongs' game, and darted over to hold the armor's hand.

"Well, Evil Knight, I challenge you to a duel for having an affair with my lovely flower." Prongs paused. "Fine then!" He faced Lils. "The knight wants you to either choose him or me."

Looking back and forth between Prongs and the suit of armor, she responded, "I'm sorry, but I cannot resist his sexiness. I'll miss you."

"Wait! What if I turn into something metal too, a Muggle thing, like an airplane?" Spreading his arms to look like wings, Prongs ran around the room making mechanical noises.

James sighed, "I act weird when I'm drunk."

"That isn't going to work," Lils informed, wrapping her arms around the knight.

Prongs fell to his knees and uncharacteristically begged, "Tell me what I have to do to get you back. I'll do anything. I'll even chicken dance with a notebook!"

"I'm really weird when I'm drunk," stated James.

"You have to seduce me away from him," said Lils, as though this should have been obvious.

"How do I do that?" asked Prongs.

Please, dear Merlin, don't let me have told him how, prayed Lily silently.

"It's very easy," Lils assured. "Because I'm strongly attracted to you already. In fact, I have dreams about you where we have x-rated fun."

"You do?" inquired Prongs.

"You do?" James inquired to Lily, but she was not listening.

"When I get wasted I am a complete whore!" Lily cried. "I mean, look at the way I'm groping that stupid suit of armor and 'x-rated fun' is such a slutty term!"

James glanced at Lils. She was embracing the knight a bit too intimately, but "groping" was defintely an exaggeration. "Flower, you're overreacting," he pointed out honestly, hugging Lily to calm her down.

"Oh, of course," Lils was saying. "Anyway, to turn me on look into my eyes while holding me against you. Then caress my back and kiss my neck." A hiccup erupted from her, emphasizing how much she'd had to drink.

Bobasmeel, thought Lily. How could I have told him ALL of my turn ons? She looked at James to see his reaction. He was watching with interest as Prongs promptly did what Lils instructed. Lils melted in his hands like butter and Prongs had to hold her tightly to prevent her from collapsing to the floor.

"Okay, you can take me back from the knight. You can do whatever you want with me," Lils murmured, clearly too weak with desire to speak any louder or say anymore.

Prongs beamed, took her hand, and pulled her down the hallways eagerly.

As they rushed after them James queried, "Does that turn you on when you're sober too?"

"What difference does it make?" demanded Lily defensively, face flushed.

"Just wondering." A small smile tugged at the corners of James' mouth, though his smile faded. "You might not be too happy with me in a moment." He gestured to the door of the Room of Requirement that had appeared and Prongs and Lils went through it, accidentally leaving it slightly ajar. "Because if a couple has sex the guy almost always gets blamed."

"I noticed that. Why is that?"

"Dunno."

"I'll be abnormal and not blame it all on you, okay? Especially since I was acting like a slut."

Firmly, James said, "Lily, as far as we know you're still a virgin. Have you ever heard of a virginal slut?"

She laughed while she shook her head.

"By the way," he continued, "thanks for being abnormal."

"My pleasure. I'm also strange, weird, odd, atypical peculiar, bizarre, unearthly, unusual, and freaky."

Before James could respond they heard Lils giggle, "This feels good! Why haven't we done this before?"

There was a loud creak of bedsprings when Prongs answered, "Aside from the fact that you hated me? I never brought it up because I was afraid you'd think it was a bad idea."

Lily and James involuntarily cringed.

"Should we go in?" asked James.

"Might as well," replied Lily. "The effects of the draught won't stop till we fall asleep."

Nodding gravely, James remarked, "Let's see what trouble we got ourselves into."

As they gaited through the open door they heard Prongs say, "That was great! Do it again!" Then they witnessed Lils obligingly leap off the bed, tumble in midair, and land on the floor on her feet. Prongs clapped.

Shocked, Lily breathed, "That's why we needed a bed? To jump on?!"

"Seems that way," concurred James in relief.

"But then why do we wind up naked?" pondered Lily, puzzled.

James did not know the answer, thus he said naught and contented himself with watching Prongs and Lils do acrobatics that they hadn't ever known themselves capable of.

After precisely forty-seven minutes and nineteen seconds Lils commented, "All of this exercise is making me sweaty."

Prongs sniffed his armpits.

"That's it, I act beyond weird when I'm drunk," muttered James.

"Hey, I'm sweaty too!" Prongs told Lils as if it was the most spectacular news in the world.

"Well, there aren't any showers in here, so what do we do about it?" asked Lils.

"We won't be hot if we take our clothes off," stated Prongs practically.

"You're right."

"No, I'm left."

"Oh, sorry." Lils' voice was momentarily muffled as she pulled her shirt over her head.

Lily and James immediately turned their backs on their past selves and looked determindly at the floor whilst they blushed.

Prongs and Lils threw each other's shoes so they ricocheted off the walls. One of Prongs' hit the door, causing it to shut. Eventually, they became bored of this.

"Ready to go to sleep?" Prongs suggested.

Lils nodded; they climbed under the sheets and drifted into dreamland almost instantly.

Everything became hazy and suddenly James and Lily found themselves back in the morning from whence they had come.

"That was, er, interesting," said Lily.

"Yeah, it sure was," James agreed. "I just want to know one thing."

"What's that?"

James gazed into her eyes. He slipped his arms around her waist and eased her body against his own. His hands slid along her back and through her crimson hair as his warm breath and soft lips brushed her neck lightly. With their bodies touching he could feel her heart beat faster and her knees weaken. "So it does turn you on," James noted with satisfaction. "That's all I wanted to know." Gently, he released her from his embrace.

After taking a few deep breaths to return her heart rate to normal Lily questioned sharply, "Yes, it does, and what are you planning on doing with that knowledge?" She was relieved, embarrassed, turned on, and irritated all at the same time. It was an intruiging combination of emotions to say the least.

"Nothing now, but when the time comes it'll be useful," he replied cheerfully.

"You are so terrible," Lily scolded affectionately. She liked it when he was seductive, however, she never would have admitted it even under the horrifying threat of watching soap operas.

"I know, but you don't get to be a Marauder by being well behaved," James reminded her, still grinning.

"Misbehavers get punished."

"Are you going to punish me, my lovely flower?"

"Absolutely." She smiled wickedly. "I'm going to make your hair tidy."

James ran from the room screaming in terror.

Lily laughed and chased him around the entire castle.
 

Elphaba_1

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Bedknobs and Broomsticks

James finally reached his dorm and charmed the door against Alohomora to escape Lily. No matter how much he cared for her he would NOT under any circumstances allow her to tidy his hair.

"Hey, Prongs, where were you last night?" Sirius slyly queried.

"In bed with Lily."

Sirius clapped. "Sexcellent job!"

"Was she good?" asked Peter.

Before James could answer Sirius interupted, "She probably wasn't as good as she normally would be since she was drunk."

Remus looked at James with disapproval and disgust. "I can't believe you would get Lily drunk and take advantage of her. Even Padfoot wouldn't sink that low."

"Hey!" said Sirius, offended.

Again, James opened his mouth, but this time Peter interrrupted to defend James, "Evans is lucky that he would give a Mudblood like her any attention." No one took notice of his comment since Remus and Sirius were still bickering and James was running his hand through his hair in frustration at being ignored.

"GUYS, LISTEN!" James commanded.

Sirius and Remus joined Peter in gazing at James with such undivided attention it was almost creepy.

"Thanks," James said. "Okay, what I meant by being in bed with Lily was that we were both wasted and jumping on a bed. We got tired, so we fell asleep."

Peter and Sirius looked disappointed, yet Remus smiled.

James detested seeing his comrades upset; therefore he added, "I found out what turns her on, though."

Mollified, Sirius and Peter smiled also.

"Prongs, you have a Quidditch match today," Remus reminded him.

"Oh, bobasmeel, I do!" James immediately removed the spell from the door and rushed to the Quidditch Pitch.

"Bobasmeel?" wondered Remus. "I know that's not in the dictionary."

The other two shrugged and soon they all headed to the Pitch as well, locating seats beside Jessie, Lily, and Sapphire.

Madame Hooch beckoned Godric's and Salazar's teams onto the field and had James and Lucius, the captains, grudgingly shake hands. Instead of a quaffle she released a bed-knob to signal the beginning of the game. Flustered by her mistake, she threw the Snitch and quaffle forcefully at the sky in the same moment. The players sped into the air to attempt to catch the balls and started to play.

"The first goal is scored by Potter," came Lucetta Malfoy's drawl.

Sirius glanced over at her. The sunlight illuminated her sleek silvery-blonde hair as she sat in the commentator's box, which caused it look white. His wretched cousin, Narscissa, was dating her equally wretched brother. He couldn't imagine that Lucetta, who was also in Slytherin, would be any different from them.

Lucetta continued, bored, "That was quite a foul the beater, Goyle, just did to Gryffindor's Keeper, and Hooch is clearly unhappy about it. Okay, she's done yelling at him and the game resumes with even more energy than before. Both team seems to want the other to loose shamefully because they loathe each other." She brightened for the first time. "That reminds me of a song."

Lily thought, I hope she doesn't sing.

She sang, "What is this feeling So sudden and new I felt the moment I laid eyes on you? My pulse is rushing. My head is reeling. My face is flushing. What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, Does it have a name? Yes! Loathing, Unadulterated loathing For your face, Your voice, Your clothing. Let's just say I loathe it all. Ev'ry little trait, however small Makes my very flesh begin to crawl With simple utter loathing. There's a strange exhilaration In such total detestation. It's so pure; so strong, Though I do admit it came on fast, Still I do believe that it can last, And I will be loathing, Loathing you, My whole life long!"

Everyone, including the players, stared at her. She would most assuredly be remembered for her chant, not as a result of her voice being particularly good or poor (it was of middling quality), but because no commentator ever sang before.

While everybody gazed at her James took advantage of the moment and easily scored five goals in a row. The final tally was Slytherin- 60 Gryffindor- 270.

Jessie leapt up on the stands and exalted with the rest of her house, "I can't believe we won by so much!"

After a moment of swift calculating in her head Sapphire added, "This means we're almost guaranteed to win the Cup, for the Slytherin-Hufflepuff match is the last one of the season and Hufflepuff has done so badly this year they've no hope of winning the Cup. Slytherin can't win it either unless they beat Hufflepuff by one-hundred ninety points."

"That's great!" exclaimed Peter. He dashed off as rapidly as his stubby legs could carry him to inform James of the fabulous news, followed leisurely by Sirius and Remus. James grinned ecstatically when they told him.

Lucius glared sulkily at the happy Gryffindors. "Go screw yourselves."

"I'd rather not," was Remus' mild reply.

James' eyes swept over the stands for a brief second to ensure that Lily wasn't watching ere he fished his wand out the pocket of his Quidditch robes and cast a jinx. At the last possible minute Peter accidentally bumped into his wand arm, sending the spell in the wrong direction.

It hit Lucetta. The shoelaces crawled out of her shoes and belly-danced away from her across the grounds and into the lake where they drowned. "Those were my favourite shoelaces!" she cried. "They had the ABC's on them..." She covered her face with her hands and darted to the castle.

Remus suggested, "Maybe you should apologise."

"What for?" demanded James, who shared Sirius' opinion that no Slytherin was a good one.

"Never mind," the lycanthrope muttered. "Let's just go."

"Not till I hex Malfoy." James spun around wildly. "Where did he go?"

Sirius spat, "Sodding coward must've run off."

"Oh well." James shrugged and smiled. "Let's go have a party in the common room!"

Nobody could argue with that, so they left.

Severus Snape regarded their departure with contempt. He knew not that James' action was an accident, however, even if he were aware of that it would have mattered little. All he knew was that jynxing him was one thing, yet Lucetta was another thing entirely. The other students trudged back towards the school whilst he made his way to the greenhouses to gather potion ingredients. The Marauders were going to pay.


Devious Draught


Snape was in his dorm brewing a potion. A potion high above the N.E.W.T. level. A potion that had taken him months to make. A potion that had been banned a century ago by the Ministry of Magic.


He dealt with being the victim of the Marauders' pranks for years and he eagerly retaliated because he was so vindictive, but now they'd hurt Lucetta. They had gone too far.


Surveying the potion, Snape smiled mirthlessly. "Perfect." He transferred the liquid, which was as clear and tasteless as innocent water, from the cauldron into a black canister without spilling a drop and clamped on the lid tightly. He ambled through the dungeon common room and empty corridors until he arrived at a portrait of a fruit basket. He tickled the pear and smirked as it swung open to reveal an opening. The Marauders may know all of Hogwarts' secrets, but they aren't the only ones that know them, he thought smugly.


It was not near mealtime; therefore the house-elves had retired from the kitchen. Snape unscrewed the cap and carefully poured equal amounts of the draught into the four goblets that he knew Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew would be drinking from since they invariably seated themselves in the same place at Gryffindor table.


Satisfied, he returned to the dungeon to wait for Lucetta. Soon the portrait hole opened and the Slytherins entered with scowls on their faces and Snape could easily discern that they had not won the final Quidditch match of the season. He was disappointed; not because he cared about Quidditch, but because it would put his rivals in a good mood.


Conversely, Lucetta was smiling. "Severus!" She ran over to him. "Mother and father owled me the best gift for my birthday!"


"So?" said Snape coldly. He did not like her parents because he was aware of the fact that they ordered her around almost as much as they did their house-elf since she was not as gifted with magic as Lucius. Lucetta was brilliant; she could break any code in seconds and read whole sets of encyclopedias in a matter of hours, but when she had a wand in her hand she was a disaster waiting to happen.


"Don't you even want to know what it is?"


"Fine."


"A paper clip!"


He blinked his fathomless black eyes. "Are you really excited over a paper clip?"


She answered quietly, "Well, yeah. I mean, nobody else, not even Lucius, remembered that today was birthday."


Snape was slightly hurt that Lucetta speculated that he had forgotten, yet he was even more perplexed at how Lucius could have forgotten since they were twins. He probably just couldn't be bothered to get her anything, he realised in disgust. Snape wasn't fond of Lucius either, however, Lucius was not as annoying as the other selfish cowardly Slytherins, the Dark Lord favoured him, and he was Lucetta's brother, which were reasons to spend time with him.


As usual, Snape showed none of his emotions as he wordlessly removed a parcel from his pocket and handed it to her.


After she tore off the wrapping she saw a small book about the alphabet. She threw her arms around him in gratitude. "Thank you, Severus."


Trying not to flush at her enthusiastic embrace, he responded monotonously, "Whatever. You're welcome."


When it was time for dinner Snape went to the Great Hall with the rest of the school, acting indifferent as always so as not to arouse suspicion. Only once did he glance at his adversaries, and he felt grim satisfaction when he noted that they had drained their goblets. His potion would begin to take effect the moment that they fell asleep.


Upon their return to Gryffindor Tower, James asked, "Shall we throw a party in the common room to celebrate how I managed to win the Quidditch Cup?"


Remus shook his head. "We have a Transfiguration test tomorrow, so we should get some rest."


Sirius snorted. "Do you think we're gonna listen to that logic?"


"I have an idea!" declared Peter.


"That's a first," quipped James.


Peter blushed and immediately shut his mouth.


"Wormtail, don't listen to him. Tell us your idea," said Remus kindly.


"We won't have a party if you tell us a story," he suggested as a comprimise.


James and Sirius grinned while Remus groaned. Whenever Remus attempted to tell his fellow Marauders a tale they would incessantly interrupt him with irrelevant questions.


"Okay," Remus reluctantly agreed at last because he understood that if he refused they would deliberately have a celebration that was unreasonably loud to prevent him from getting the sleep that he desperately wanted.


It took ten minutes for them to get through the common room as a result of everyone complimenting James on his exceptional performance during the game, even though it had been months ago, and he was sorely tempted to stay and bask in their admiration, though the temptation to help Sirius and Peter agitate Remus was stronger.


Finally, they reached the dorm, or the "Marauding Lair" as they were wont to call it on occasion. Each of the foursome sat at the foot of their own four-poster with their legs dangling over the edge.


"What sort of story do you want me to tell you?" He added swiftly, "And I don't know any about sexy girls that worship people named Sirius and James."


"Dammit," sighed James.


"How about something that has to do with a bunny since it's almost Easter?" recommended Peter. Did I just say something practical?


Did he just say something practical? wondered Remus.


James and Sirius thought the same thing. "Did you just say something practical?" they questioned Peter in unison. They never kept a thought to themselves and had very little, if any, tact.


"I-I think so," Peter murmured in astonishment.


Remus stated, "We should have a moment of respectful silence for this miracle."


For the first and only time in history the Marauders were quiet or a solid minute.


"Now tell us a story about a bunny," instructed Sirius comically.


Closing his eyes, Remus searched his mind for any story that related to a rabbit. I imagine he looked very handsome sitting at the end of his bed with his eyelids gently shut in concentration. *sighs dreamily* Wait! This has nothing to do with the plot of my fan fiction!


"I guess I could tell you The Velveteen Rabbit," Remus eventually commented.


"Okey-dokey," they replied.
 
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