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Last Poem of the Semester



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XIII Heartless

Head Mom In Charge
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Wrote this as my last assignment for my ENGL 304 class this semester. One of my favorite ones I did this semester, so thought I'd share. All criticisms welcome.

Learning Curve

I know how to love a child as a father should; my parents taught me how.
But a man loving a woman, and a woman a man, is something they neglected
to show me. So your patience is all I ask for.
How much patience? Much more than a false-starter has; if your anxiety
leads to you taking off at the slightest hint of unrest, you and I will never make it.
But you don’t need near as much patience as a praying man needs; I might not always respond as fast as you’d like, but I won’t leave you sitting in questioning silence for days, months, or years on end.
And if I ever do give you the silent treatment, you can be sure I’m shouting
“I love you!” in my head while I sit next to you…however, in all but the most perfect
of moments, I don’t know how to tell you this. I was never taught how.
I thought shouting, cursing, cheating, fighting, and triggering the dissolution of a home
was how all couples handled a disagreement.
Still, I’ll worship the rain that waters the grass that grows on the ground
that you walk on, while experience tells me not to.
Love was taken forcibly from me at a young age; it left me full of pain and anger,
too full for love to have any room within me. By the time I tried, years later,
to love willingly, she wanted more than I had to give.
But from that storm of a relationship, new life sprouted like a flower from the rain.
In the absence of the rain that produced it, I’ve done my best to sustain it, so
I know I have the devotion, attentiveness, and selflessness required to care for another.
Loving you is within my ability. I just need to be taught how.
 
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