Fanfiction ► KingDumb Hearts

[Taokitty]

xD Nice update! =^_^=

sh im playin kh2, I know what you mean, it'd suck if people still do since now I'm curious if I'm still considered one... xD Though, I don't think you are! *Pats*

Lol, sorry to hear what your brother did.... >.>;;;

... Why do I have the feeling that Don Patch will help your other side?

 

[Every Heart]

*everyone is hanging out watching tv in the lounge*
TV: And now it's back to Seinfield: The Deleted Stories. "FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY, QUIT BEING SUCH AN ASS AND GRAB THE SPATULA! WE MAY HAVE A CHANCE AGAINST THE MUTANT VAMPIRE SPIDERS BEFORE THEY DRAIN OUR BLOOD THROUGH OUR NECKS!!!!....."*tv gets shut off by Every Heart*
Everyone else: HEY!!
Every Heart: This fic has changed. Sora is no longer an amnesiac druggie, Kairi isn't much of a whore, and Riku hasn't written a single emo poem for the last month. It's time we put things back to normal, seeing as how I'm writting this fic.
Everyone: So your putting us back to the way we used to be?
Every Heart: Yeah pretty much.
Sora: Oh my god....I suddenly have to go smoke a punch of paupu leaves. I THOUGHT I WAS OFF THE STUFF!!!!*pulls a bunch of them out of his pocket*
Kairi: If you were off the stuff, then why did you have those leaves in your pocket?
Sora: Hey, a guy gets lonely. This leafs name is Renaldo
Riku: Life sucks. I'm going to go off to listen to Linkin Park and write an emo poem.*walks off*
*Nomura walks into the room*
Kairi: OH NOMURA!!!*chases after him*
Nomura: WHAT THE HELL??*runs for it*
Sora: Come on, burn faster before I forget how to smoke the leaves! I'M SORRY RENALDO BUT MY NEEDS COME FIRST!!!
Riku: *listening to Breaking the Habit*
Every Heart: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Now the fanfic is going to be utterly ruined!!
???: Not so fast!
Every Heart: What the...
*door bangs open to reveal Every Heart tied to a chair*
Every Heart: Your not getting away SueZQ109!
SueZQ109: Blast it, she escaped.
Every Heart: Actually, I'm still technically tied to this chair, so I haven't actually escaped. How did you escape my plotholes? And get a part of my fanfic writing powers to influence what happens in the fanfic?
SueZQ109: With the help of my fellow friends that had also been trapped in plotholes created by you.
???: Hello dear Every Heart. *Dora steps out the shadows*
Every Heart: Dora the Explorer??
Dora: That's right. And my "sex monkey" as you call him, Boots. After those slurs you and some fellow readers made I got thrown into a plot hole as an enemy of yours. Now you will have to submit to my 1st grade level brand of Spanish evil
Boots: *evil monkey laugh*
Every Heart: Just out of curiousity, do you still harbor lesbian feelings to me?
Dora: Medication helps with that actually.
???: Don't forget me, after all, who can forget...*Oprah steps out of shadows on SueZQ109s other side* OPRAH WINFRY!!
Every Heart: Blast it all, she is recruiting all the enemies of plot holes I made...I hope that time that Josh from Drake and Josh when he ran over you made it hurt like hell!
Oprah: I have a restraining order against him actually, didn't you see the ending of that episode?
Every Heart: No, thanks a lot for spoiling the ending for me
???: And it is I, DAN RATHER!!!
???: And don't forget Alfred Hitchcock!
???: And your old rival Godzilla!
Every Heart: Crap, what am I going to do...wait...I got it!*frees self from chair*
SueZQ109: Do you actually you can take on all 6 of us? Sora, Riku, and Kairi have been indisposed.
Riku: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR....
Sora: *smokes the leaves* Must...inhale...paupu leaves....
Kairi: *holding onto Nomuras leg*
Nomura: GET THE HELL OFF ME!!!
Every Heart: Oh I'm not relying on them.
SueZQ109: Oh really, then who?
*the door bursts open to reveal Taokitty, Reckless Chaos, Don Patch, sh im playing kh2, kh2 is god, wisdom&valor, and Jax-oh1*
SueZQ109: What???
Every Heart: You forgot that I still have fanfic demi-god powers. So using my powers, I got them here to help me. Oh, and wisdom&valor is going to be score keeper to see who is winning. So that its even.
*The battle is about to begin! Who will win? Every Heart or SueZQ109? Find out next time on KingDumb Hearts!*
Sora: RENALDO!!!!!

 

[gene chaos]

ohhhhhhhhhhhh how shall win and nice chapter

 

[Taokitty]

LOL! Awsome! xD

Go Every_Heart! It's nice to be back in... Without getting mauled by squirrels.... n.n

Ahh, dang I was wrong! >< Lol, ah well.

I wonder what challenges there'll be? ;o

 

[kh2_is_god]

Awsome update as always, I wonder who will win this? Although i am pretty sure we can take on the n00b!

 

[Jax-Oh1]

YAH! We get to help! *calls keyblade* Bring it, freaky n00b, fatty girl and others-I-can't-come-up-with-mean-names-for!

 

[sh im playin kh2]

AH! we must crush thm with all our fiber!.....the next time she feels like updating...and after mind of mencia! YEA! great update!

 

[wisdom&valor]

Yah I am in the fic agian. GO SCOREKEEPER ! Oparah and Dora return ^^

 

[Every Heart]

Every Heart: Because of a request from Don Patch, he wants to just stand around and do nothing. So wisdom&valor will be joining the fight while Patch watches the others for me.
Sora: *crying* Renaldo...you will not have died in vain.*smokes another leaf*
Kairi: HOLD STILL NOMURA!!
Nomura: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME!
Riku: Where is the boxcutter? I CAN'T FIND THE BOXCUTTER!!
Every Heart: Yeah, watch Riku more closer Patch. Anyway....

LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!!!
​

SueZQ109: Hey, this battle doesn't start unless I say it starts!
​

LET THE BATTLE COMENCE!!!!!!!!!!
​

Every Heart: Hey, I say when the battle starts, not you!
​

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
​

Taokitty:....Can we kick their asses now?
wisdom&valor: Yeah, let's just go in already.
*everyone charges*
Jax-oh:*fighting Dan Rather* Come on Rather, let's see what you got!
Dan Rather: *begins to go into a long conversation about the weather and news*
Jax-oh:*covering ears* SHUT UP ALREADY, YOUR MAKING MY EARS BLEED!! *swings keyblade at him*
wisdom&valor:*locked in battle with Dora Explorer* DIE SPANISH BITCH!!
Dora: Hey, that's really racist.
wisdom&valor: Oh sorry.
Dora: Hey, being sorry is for chumps. Attack Boots!
Boots: EEK EEK EEK!!!*starts scratching up his face*
wisdom&valor: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! DISEASED MONKEY!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!
Reckless Chaos: *punching Alfred Hitchcock* This*punch*is for*punch*making*punch*Every Heart*punch*despise*punch*your movies!!!*punches some more and kicks him to the ground*
Taokitty: Come on Oprah, show us what you got!!*recieves punches and kicks* Hey, aren't you suposed to be non-violent?
Oprah: Up yours chump!*kicks Taokitty down to the ground*
Taokitty:*swings leg and knocks her off* Take that Oprah!
Godzilla: DIE PUNY HUMANS!!!*tries to stomp on kh2 is god and sh im playing kh2*
kh2 is god: I have an idea!!
*both start dancing while in kilts*
Godzilla: *starts dancing* Damn you! How did you two know that Irish dancing is my weakness?
sh im playing kh2: Irish dancing? I thought this was Scottish dancing?
kh2 is god: Keep dancing, before he trys to step on us again!
*meanwhile, between Every Heart and SueZQ109, the pull out light sabors(Every Hearts is purple while SueZQ109's is red) and started slashing at each other.*
Every Heart: *gets right arm cut off* AAAAAHHHH*hangs off of a bridge*
SueZQ109:*stands over her* Before you die, I just have one thing to say: I AM YOUR N00B!!
Every Heart: That can't be true! THAT CAN'T BE...wait, I already knew that...
*manages to get up onto the bridge as she uses her arm that she still has to summon the shadow realm*
Every Heart: Now, be gone, you will all be sealed into the shadow realm of plot holes for all eternity!!
*all the enemies get sucked into the realm*
SueZQ109: This isn't over yet!!!!!*is the last to fall in as it seals up*
Everyone: We did it!!!
*so after wisdom&valor got rabies and tetnus shots and Every Heart's missing right arm is replaced with automail*
Every Heart: Because of this fight with SueZQ109, we may have won, but I had to lose my right arm to do so.
Ed Elric:*suddenly enters room* Equivilent Exchange!
Every Heart: I wasn't asking you Ed. Don't be making me use this!!*flexes automail arm*
Ed Elric: Fine, I'll go wait in the interviewing room
Riku:*who thank god is back to normal* What is he doing here?
Every Heart: I'm hiring him on as a bodyguard to me and to help me out with this new arm. Say hello to your new co-worker guys.
*Le Gaspeth!*
Kairi: I'm glad it's finally over.
Sora: It's not over for me, I'm still mourning the loss of Renaldo*cries*
Riku: So what happened to your fellow friends who came and helped?
Every Heart: The others went partying and to watch kh2 is god and sh im playing kh2 dancing in those kilts. Hey wait...wheres Don Patch?
*in the shadow realm*
Don Patch: HELP!!!

The battle is over, which means that Neverland is what they will be doing next. And I'm missing an arm. DAMN.

At least Ed Elric is in the cast now _/(^_^)\_
​

 

[Hazen Gregory]

Ed Elric:*suddenly enters room* Equivilent Exchange!
Every Heart: I wasn't asking you Ed. Don't be making me use this!!*flexes automail arm*
Ed Elric: Fine, I'll go wait in the interviewing room
Riku:*who thank god is back to normal* What is he doing here?
Every Heart: I'm hiring him on as a bodyguard to me and to help me out with this new arm. Say hello to your new co-worker guys.
*Le Gaspeth!*
Kairi: I'm glad it's finally over.
Sora: It's not over for me, I'm still mourning the loss of Renaldo*cries*
Riku: So what happened to your fellow friends who came and helped?
Every Heart: The others went partying and to watch kh2 is god and sh im playing kh2 dancing in those kilts. Hey wait...wheres Don Patch?
*in the shadow realm*
Don Patch: HELP!!!
​

That was like maaad funny. Excellent update....just like the last one.

 

[kh2_is_god]

When can i stop dancing? It's starting to hurt my feet!!
Lol that was an awsome chapter!!

 

[sh im playin kh2]

When can i stop dancing? It's starting to hurt my feet!!

kh2_is_god, we can never stop....because....WE ARE KINGS OF THE DANCE!
great update!

 

[Jax-Oh1]

Jax-oh:*fighting Dan Rather* Come on Rather, let's see what you got!
Dan Rather: *begins to go into a long conversation about the weather and news*
Jax-oh:*covering ears* SHUT UP ALREADY, YOUR MAKING MY EARS BLEED!! *swings keyblade at him*

MY POOR EARS! I know how to fix them. *Begins to Play "I wanna Dance"* kh2 is god and sh im playing kh2 aren't the only ones who can dance!

 

[Every Heart]

Riku: Wait a sedond Every, if you have the fanfic powers to be able to do anything, even create plot holes, why can't you just get your arm back?
Every Heart:*shush* If Ed knew that, he wouldn't have a reason to stay. And besides, this automail arm is kickass. Watch.
*punches Sora in the stimach*
Riku: Ahh....I see.
Sora: MY KIDNEYS!!

Theres your reason as to why I didn't just use my fanfic demi-god powers to grow my arm back, to all those wondering.

 

[wisdom&valor]

wisdom&valor:*locked in battle with Dora Explorer* DIE SPANISH BITCH!!
Dora: Hey, that's really racist.
wisdom&valor: Oh sorry.
Dora: Hey, being sorry is for chumps. Attack Boots!
Boots: EEK EEK EEK!!!*starts scratching up his face*
wisdom&valor: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! DISEASED MONKEY!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!

My arm hurts i hate tentus shots. Damn monkey

 

[Taokitty]

xD MUHA! Tie 'owned' Oprah! ><

... Who is Oprah by the way? ._.

I know she was probably in the fan messages or something, but in the real world... I have no clue who she is! Dx

Nice update! =^_^=

It's amazing how much the characters have grown since then and you don't notice... Till now.... ._.

 

[Jax-Oh1]

Ophah is this fat, black lady who tries to help people and has her own talk show.

 

[KingSora92]

She's not fat maybe a litlle chubby but not fat

 

[Every Heart]

From the Diary of Every Heart:

Day of Neverland scene

I arrived at Squaresoft late as usual. Getting used to automail limbs is a pain in the ass. This morning, the damn arm started coming loose from a faulty screw. One lousy screw! Sometimes I wonder how Ed deals with crap like this.

Speaking of Ed, all he has been doing lately is complaining about not doing something important, like finding the Philosopher's Stone and travelin with his younger brother. Threatning to throw him into a plot hole made him shut up quick.

I also found out that sh im playing kh2 and kh2 is god were escorted to the emergency rooms at the hospital, due to being unable to stop dancing. "Dance Fever" they called it. In other words, it's probably some kind of cancer the doctors are covering up. I hear that treatment is to either strap their legs down with reinforced steel that hurts like hell and watching Blues Clues, which is sure to drain the energy out of anybody. Either that or have their legs cut off. I think that they are perferring the dismemberment.

So anyway, I get there and what do I find? Sora passed out on the floor. Damn, I thought that my fanfic powers had made him off the paupu leaves. But then I found out that Riku hit him with a 2 by 4. Why, I still have no clue, except something about "flushing those swimsuit addition magazines down the toilet."

Dear God I hope it was the one that had Riku in it that Sora flushed. Riku was getting too obsessed with himself anyway, and seeing a picture of him in a swimsuit would of probably set him off.

Kairi, who pretty much never does anything really(I wish I could fire the damn bitch, but no...Nomura won't allow it. Although he is probably considering it after the fight incident in which it took my fanfic god powers and a crowbar to pry Kairi off) was pretty much just watching the whole thing. I yelled at everyone for a few minutes, and then went off to get some pocky. Chocolate Pocky....

And soon, we managed to get the Neverland scene going after finding Donald and Goofy alone in an awkward position that I am refusing to write here, let's just say that it took a while to throw away the beer bottles and slap them until they were sober enough to realize what they were doing...before they shrugged and went back to...

Oh yeah, I wasn't going to say what it was. I will be scarred by that image until a healthy dose of Vodka clears that up.

So the scene went something like this:

Sora: Riku, what are you doing here?
Riku: I'm here to help Kairi. She has lost her heart and I am going to get it back for her. While I'm gone, play with this heartless copy I made of you.
*AntiSora rises up from the ground*
Sora: EVIL CLONE!!!*runs off screaming to the cloak closet. It took hours to get him to come back out with the promise of pocky. But no one shall have my chocolate pocky. NO ONE!*
AntiSora: Man, what an idiot. I'm going off to go run against Bush for president. *walks off*
Peter Pan: Don't worry Sora, thanks to my pixie friend, you can fly now!!
Sora: I CAN FLY!! NANANANANANANANANANA BATMAN!!! NANANANANANANANANANANA SORA!!! *jumps off of plank and nearly gets chewed to bits by the crocodile*
Riku: *peering over edge* Huh, well that was way too easy. *walks off with Kairi* NANANANANANANANANANA RIKU!!

After which, we all ended up taking Sora to the hospital. Of it wasn't for their "treat any and every patient" policy, they would of thrown us out. Ed came along to, as he helped to beat the hell out of Dan Rather who was trying to sneak into the hospital to get exclusive coverage of another screwup at Squaresoft.

He is the most sensible person in this entire mixed up random fic. I'm starting to think I should change that...but how? And yet, he has slowly become my favorite cast member because he is the normal one out of all of us. Maybe sometime I'll treat him to dinner as thanks for helping me out.

(Damn, if Bakura finds us though, there goes another anime bishoun....)

Man, I'll think that one out tommorow. In the meantime, Inuyasha is on, and I am not missing that. Even though I keep having to lock Ed in a different room because every time Inuyasha appears on the tv screen, he keeps shoving his foot through the tv, cursing loudly things like, "INUYASHA SUCKS!!!"

Note to self: Poker Game in a few days with other anime and cast members. Must bring my decks of fake Aces.

Another Note to Self: DESTROY THAT DAMN VIDEOCAMERA THAT KEEPS PUTTING FART NOISES INTO ALL OF OUR RECORDINGS FOR KINGDOM HEARTS.

DAMN YOU KAIRI!!

Wait...Kairi? Meh, I'm so used to yelling at Sora and Riku, I can never use Kairi as a scapegoat. Until now....*insert evil fanfic god laugh here*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next time on KingDumb Hearts, random stuff that will lead up to doing Hollow Bastion.

Every Heart: *walks into room* Sora, what the hell are you doing with my diary? YOUR NOT SUPPOSSED TO BE READING MY DIARY!!!
Sora: Shoot, she discovered me. AWAY TO THE BATCAVE!!*drops diary and runs out while doing the batman theme*

 

[gene chaos]

wow so he showed ur diary to all of us