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Fanfiction ► Kingdom Insider ~ A Comedy Fanfic



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Endgame

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Mitsukai drifted in the void, empty, emotionless and dark, searching...for something. For anything. All was darkness, no light could be seen. Then, the hapless traveller discovered a webage amongst the porn and advertisements, a great, glowing webpage. He slowly touched down upon it, reading it's name with bated breath.

"Kingdom Hearts...Insider?"

A mysterious voice emenated from the darkness, startling the boy.

"Register, young one. 100% free."

Three pedestals rose from the ground before him, each embossed with a glowing word. On the left, Register, in the middle, Log in, and on the right, Cancel. Tentavily, the young man reached out and touched the pedestal marked register.

"You have chosen to register, to be bombarded with hidden fees you will not discover until sometime in 2053. Are you sure this is what you want?"

The boy nodded, not understanding the voice's words, and unsure if they even existed outside of himself. Behind him, a staircase became visible. He followed it up to another webpage.

"Please enter your username and password..." The voice demanded.

The boy complied, placing them into the glowing boxes meant to contain them, and suddenly, an odd creature rose out of the ground behind him. It was dressed in black, wearing a headband that had pipe-cleaner antennae on it, and yellow goggles.

"They seek you...but do not be afraid, for you hold the greatest weapon of all..."

Without warning, the creature attacked, leaping at Mitsukai and shouting that the BHK's name was Chara. Dodging backwards, Mitsukai slipped, falling off the edge of the page to land on another.

"Please read the Terms And Conditions..." The voice stated as Mitsukai climbed to his feet, brushing himself off. Choosing to ignore the Terms and Conditions, he continued on to the next page.

"The closer to registration you become, the more prone your computer is to error..." The voice said prophetically, as before Mitsukai, a great dark virus rose from the page. Activating his firewall, he lept at it, stabbing into it with his Page Debugger. As the creature fell, Mitsukai felt the world around him dissolving.

"Registration...successful. Welcome to KHinisder"



[New Message from: Zetsumi]
[To: Mitsukai]
[Re: Found you!]
Mitsukai, you lazy bum! I knew I'd find you goofing off on the internet! Didn't you have an assignment to do?
[End Message]

The boy smiled and began to type a reply, clicking on send and releasing his message into the great ocean that was the World Wide Order. He spun around to find himself on a beach, with wooden huts errected not far from where he stood. Above his head, a styalised sign appeared, flashing up the words 'New Members Area"

Striding confidently up the beach, the boy looked around to see people shaking hand and smiling, welcoming one another. It was a beautiful sight, for sure.

Behind him, a young man with long brown hair materialised: Zetsumi.

"Hey...I got your message. So what is this place?" The newcomer inquired.

"It's a site I found...I was looking for one of those Outwar-style RPG things, and this site has one, but I'm checking out it's forum first." The younger man replied. "This is the new members area."

"Cool!" The older boy replied. "So what do we do here?"

"Let's post!" Mitsukai enthusastically replied, before turning around and shouting at the top of his lungs: "Hey! I'm Mitsukai, and this is Zetsumi, and we are new here!"

Within seconds, the two were smothered by hundreds upon hundereds of other people, all frantically talking at once. Mitsukai picked out the words: "Welcome to the forums...", "Follow the rules...", and "I have a cream monkey face..."

Searching frantically for his friend, he screamed as the thong of well-wishers pressed in tighter, drawing him down into their midst.

Meanwhile, Zetsumi crawled, battered and bruised from under the scrum of people, hurridly making an escape. Before he had gone ten steps, however, another young man materialised before him, stating: "1 15 teh l337 haXx0r and 1 15 n3w!"

"Oh cra..." He had time to say before he was crushed under the stampeding thong of spammers rushing to the newcomer's side.



[New Message from: Jet Fire]
[To: Zetsumi]
[Re: Forums?]
Meh, I guess I'll give it a look. Meet up with you guys later.
[End Message.]

"Well, it looks like I'm the only one posting in places other then the New Members Area!" Zetsumi said triumphantly as he strode down the beach towards Mitsukai. It was two weeks since they'd signed up, and they'd both set about trying to make friends and check out the forum. Zetsumi had decided to check out the KH2 area. Meanwhile, Mitsukai had expierienced a strange scene in a hidden corner of the New Members Area, with a cloaked man who spoke only to insult him. He remembered the conversation vaugly:

"Hey, how's it going?"
"Silence, n00b. You know nothing compared to me. Nothing."
"That...that's not really called for. What's your problem?"
"I have none. it is you with the problem."
"Whatever...I'm going to get better, and more literate, and learn more stuff eventually. Just because I'm new now, dosn't mean I'll always be!"
"A meaningless effort. One who knows nothing can understand nothing. Pwnt'd."

With that, the figure had dissapeared.

"Yeah...I just noticed, it's kinda quiet, isn't it?" Mitsukai observed, staring around. Indeed, they were the only two in the New Members Area, it was otherwise desolate and silent.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, followed by a booming crash of thunder. Both of the forum members jumped at the sound, Mitsukai leaping to his feet.

"Hey..." Zetsumi began... "Wasn't KH2 supposed to come out in America today, or something?"

Without warning, lightning flashed again, revealing that the beach around them was not as dark or silent as they had thought. Instead, it was populated by kids, 10 year olds, 12 year olds, even 14 year olds, in badly made Kingdom Hearts Costumes. The soft buzz that had lay in the back of Zetsumi's mind slowly resolved itself into l337speak.

N00bs. They were surrounded by n00bs.

"Run!" Zetsumi shouted, leaping from the centre of the thread to a wall, and landing behind the n00bs, dashing off. Mitsukai tried in vain to follow, but was bombarded with poor theories, l337speak, and boasts about defeating Sephiroth. Struggling, he forced his way out from their midst, dashing off after Zetsumi. Glancing behind him, he expected to see them following him, but saw they had turned on one another, throwing handfulls of flame.

Ahead of him, on the link to the forum index, he saw Zetsumi holding out a hand to him, shouting his name. The boy struggled to reach his friend as he began to load the new page, grabbing at his hand...but there was a flash of light, and Zetsumi was gone.



Meanwhile, in a moderator-only section of the forums, a dark-cloaked man stood before a group of similarly dressed figures, hands behind his back, in a calm, respectful stance. He adressed the assembally of moderators and admins in a clear, commanding voice.

"It's started. Our worst fears have come to realisation...the n00bs have joined. There is only one solution...the almight power of literacy. If we can find this power, some of the n00bs can be converted...the others must be banned, for all eternity, or for a period of time befitting their crime against the forum. Are we clear?"

The figures nodded, and dissapeared in a swirl of darkness.



[New Message from: Mitsukai]
[To: Zetsumi]
[Re: Gee, thanks for abandoning me to the n00bs!]
...
If I hadn't logged off when I did, I could have had my literacy stolen! No thanks to you, eitheir!
[End Message]

After logging back on, Mitsukai had discovered that the New Members Area had been temporarily closed because of continual spamming and flaming, so he headed off to the forum index looking for a place to post.

Upon arriving at the index he was startled by how modern and organised it was compared to the New Members Area. It was reminiscent of an older modern english villiage, with cobblestone plazas and wooden houses packed close together. Directly ahead of him was some kind of shop entitled 'VBPLAZA', but a sign on the door listed it as 'Under Maitanance.'

Footsteps rapidly sounded behind him, and he turned to see a young man with shoulder-length hair walking confidently towards him, carrying a sword to which was attached a gun.

"Who are you...and what are you doing here?" The young man asked, towering over Mitsukai, raising the weapon to point it at his chest threateningly.

"I'm...I'm Mitsukai." The young man stammered out: "I'm looking for a friend of mine...we were seperated when all these n00bs invaded the New Members Area..."

"And what's that you are carrying?" The older man snapped. Mitsukai looked dumbfounded for a second, glancing down at his hands and holding them up to show they were empty.

"No, you fool. Inside of you!" The taller man snapped, and Mitsukai raised an eyebrow questioningly. That was the last thing he remembered before his new aquaitance pulled the trigger and dropped him into a deep sleep.

When Mitsukai awoke, he found himself strapped to a bed, beside the young man from before, who wore, Mitsukai noticed, a leather coat. Behind him was a young woman, carrying an oversised shuriken, who wore a trenchcoat and dark glasses. The man pulled a small mechenical device out and held it over the boy's chest, staring intently into a screen on it. The device latched onto him, and a sucking noise started.

"You're gonna lose it, Nightfire!" The woman exclaimed, to which the man replied: "That's Blackest Night. And I'm not going to lose it."


Zetsumi materialised in the main square of the forum index, glancing left and right to try and find his friend. Mitsukai had messaged him telling him to meet in the forum index after he'd apologised for abandoning him...yet he was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, he headed off into the Forum Index, in the direction of the Fan Corner.


Meanwhile, Blackest Night had been sending repeated jolts of electricity into Mitsukai's chest for over half an hour, joviently proclaiming 'Clear!' each time before he did so. The woman from before strode back into the room, frowning as Blackest Night sent another jolt through Mitsukai's body.

"Nightfire...is that really necessary?" She inquired, to which he confessed:

"No, not really. I just like shocking him."

"Just get the spyware out and be done with it!" She exclaimed, to which he sighed and jabbed a button. A tingling feeling rose in Mitsukai's chest, and Blackest Night withdrew the machine and smiled.

"There! All done. The n00bs had planted spyware in you, they were obviously planning to use you to scope out the Forum's defence." He explained, as if it were simply a matter-of-fact.


At the same moment, Zetsumi, an avid artist, had discovered the Fanart forum. Upon entering, he discovered it to be...weird. Yep, that was the word for it. Weird. The entrance had been a huge room, in which he had somehow shrunk, and now he was looking down on Card Soldiers. Definatly weird.

Behind Zetsumi, something stirred. A young man wearing black clothes and with his eyelids painted yellow, who crept slowly closer.


Meanwhile, in the New Members Area, a group of cloaked people surveyed the dark, desolate beach that had once welcomed people to their forums, but was now piled high with ban messages and closed threads. One of them turned to the others.

"This is bigger then we ever imagined. We can't do this alone. We need help from the community." He said, to which the others nodded, before dissapearing into the darkness.
 
Last edited:

Monkey

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This is great. ;D Brings KHInsider to life, could be a TAD bit more well written, but the theme is totally solid. I can't wait to see your other interpretations of KHInsider and see what happens to you members!
 

Nebula Zero

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ROFL WTF?

Wow, this original alright. xD

"The closer to registration you become, the more prone your computer is to error..." The voice said prophetically, as before Mitsukai, a great dark virus rose from the page. Activating his firewall, he lept at it, stabbing into it with his Page Debugger. As the creature fell, Mitsukai felt the world around him dissolving.

Lawl. Just...lawl.

More! I must read more! >|
 

Endgame

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monkeybutt said:
This is great. ;D Brings KHInsider to life, could be a TAD bit more well written, but the theme is totally solid. I can't wait to see your other interpretations of KHInsider and see what happens to you members!

Well, I'm gonna portray n00bs as heartless, some members I have a grudge against for whatever reason as bosses, and mods as the Org. Buxmonketty. Heh heh heh.
 

Anonymous

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That is great!

Monkeybutt said it all!
I can't wait to see what happens next! Hehehe... I remember Chara...
 

Monkey

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sfictionclub7ay.png
 

Endgame

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CH1 complete. Rep to anyone who can guess who the cloaked figure who insulted Mitsukai was.
 

Monkey

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LMAO! I love how you take KH and turn it into KHInsider, its so perfect.

I think I might know just who this mod is. ;D But I wont say, someone else desrves the rep!
 

Nebula Zero

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Nice edit Zet. But it would be better if you post it in seperate posts, just my opinion ^_^
"A meaningless effort. One who knows nothing can understand nothing. Pwnt'd."

xDDDDD

Mitsukai tried in vain to follow, but was bombarded with poor theories, l337speak, and boasts about defeating Sephiroth.

Sooo true >_>

"It's started. Our worst fears have come to realisation...the n00bs have joined. There is only one solution...the almight power of literacy. If we can find this power, some of the n00bs can be converted...the others must be banned, for all eternity, or for a period of time befitting their crime against the forum. Are we clear?"

Lawl, mawds KH-ified xDDD

Update D:::
 

Gamergirl

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lmao that was pretty funny--surprisingly i neva noticed any of that stuff when i 1st joined . . .but yea da nOObs can get a lil annoying
 

Endgame

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[New Message from: Mitsukai]
[To: Zetsumi]
[Re: Gee, thanks for abandoning me to the n00bs!]
...
If I hadn't logged off when I did, I could have had my literacy stolen! No thanks to you, eitheir!
[End Message]

After logging back on, Mitsukai had discovered that the New Members Area had been temporarily closed because of continual spamming and flaming, so he headed off to the forum index looking for a place to post.

Upon arriving at the index he was startled by how modern and organised it was compared to the New Members Area. It was reminiscent of an older modern english villiage, with cobblestone plazas and wooden houses packed close together. Directly ahead of him was some kind of shop entitled 'VBPLAZA', but a sign on the door listed it as 'Under Maitanance.'

Footsteps rapidly sounded behind him, and he turned to see a young man with shoulder-length hair walking confidently towards him, carrying a sword to which was attached a gun.

"Who are you...and what are you doing here?" The young man asked, towering over Mitsukai, raising the weapon to point it at his chest threateningly.

"I'm...I'm Mitsukai." The young man stammered out: "I'm looking for a friend of mine...we were seperated when all these n00bs invaded the New Members Area..."

"And what's that you are carrying?" The older man snapped. Mitsukai looked dumbfounded for a second, glancing down at his hands and holding them up to show they were empty.

"No, you fool. Inside of you!" The taller man snapped, and Mitsukai raised an eyebrow questioningly. That was the last thing he remembered before his new aquaitance pulled the trigger and dropped him into a deep sleep.

When Mitsukai awoke, he found himself strapped to a bed, beside the young man from before, who wore, Mitsukai noticed, a leather coat. Behind him was a young woman, carrying an oversised shuriken, who wore a trenchcoat and dark glasses. The man pulled a small mechenical device out and held it over the boy's chest, staring intently into a screen on it. The device latched onto him, and a sucking noise started.

"You're gonna lose it, Nightfire!" The woman exclaimed, to which the man replied: "That's Blackest Night. And I'm not going to lose it."


Zetsumi materialised in the main square of the forum index, glancing left and right to try and find his friend. Mitsukai had messaged him telling him to meet in the forum index after he'd apologised for abandoning him...yet he was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, he headed off into the Forum Index, in the direction of the Fan Corner.


Meanwhile, Blackest Night had been sending repeated jolts of electricity into Mitsukai's chest for over half an hour, joviently proclaiming 'Clear!' each time before he did so. The woman from before strode back into the room, frowning as Blackest Night sent another jolt through Mitsukai's body.

"Nightfire...is that really necessary?" She inquired, to which he confessed:

"No, not really. I just like shocking him."

"Just get the spyware out and be done with it!" She exclaimed, to which he sighed and jabbed a button. A tingling feeling rose in Mitsukai's chest, and Blackest Night withdrew the machine and smiled.

"There! All done. The n00bs had planted spyware in you, they were obviously planning to use you to scope out the Forum's defence." He explained, as if it were simply a matter-of-fact.


At the same moment, Zetsumi, an avid artist, had discovered the Fanart forum. Upon entering, he discovered it to be...weird. Yep, that was the word for it. Weird. The entrance had been a huge room, in which he had somehow shrunk, and now he was looking down on Card Soldiers. Definatly weird.

Behind Zetsumi, something stirred. A young man wearing black clothes and with his eyelids painted yellow, who crept slowly closer.


Meanwhile, in the New Members Area, a group of cloaked people surveyed the dark, desolate beach that had once welcomed people to their forums, but was now piled high with ban messages and closed threads. One of them turned to the others.

"This is bigger then we ever imagined. We can't do this alone. We need help from the community." He said, to which the others nodded, before dissapearing into the darkness.
 

Endgame

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\\\sneak preview of an upcoming chapter///
Zetsumi glanced around the stone walls of the Colleseaum impaitently. It was empty.

"Hey! Wasn't this meant to be like, the platinum match or something?" He shouted to no-one in particular, and suddenly fell over backwards in surprise as a glowing glyph appeared revolving in the centre of the area. A flash of light blasted down from the glyph, and inside it, a man began to take form. He had one black wing, and was dressed in a trenchcoat, and with long silver hair. He drew a giant katana, longer then Zetsumi was tall.

"Greetings. I am Lord of Chaos." He stated.

Zetsumi didn't move for a few seconds, then shouted: "Screw this!!!" and lept to his feet, dashing back towards the barred exit door. Behind him, the silver-haired man walked slowly after him.

Mitsukai closed his eyes and turned away as screams of pain emenated from the battlefield, and something that looked suspiciously like one of Zetsumi's arms landed on the ground next to him.
 

Monkey

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xP Ya, from now on I reccomend making new posts with all your updates, you can still edit the first post, but making new posts with the updates help us who are reading along while you write em not to get lost.

Gasp, darn those n00bs and their spyware!

o.o Umm....*disappears into darkness*
 

Nebula Zero

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Another great update Zet xD

Yay! BN appears!

Weird, I didn't know n00bs were smart enough to use spyware...interesting..

UPDATE! I COMMAND J00! >|
 
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