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sora x kairi

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Just as this is a creative writing spot i thought of placing a piece on here that i wrote please comment. The piece is called heartless..

(Heartless)

you knew me we were little

now all i am to you is the darkness which is left in your heart you said that i was a heartless of darkness no word in trust....

Trust? It was once a word i knew but it is blocked out with all the light that once i had i linger in the darkness of my thoughts knowing that i should stay broken and block my heart of light destroy it in other words.... I belong to the darkness which is all i am or was to you and now you see that i am the darkness in your heart which will never disappear into nothing i will always be that darkness the dark memories that linger in your cold heart you cant break free from the chains which bind your heart to them.....

Written by Sora x Kairi

please let me know what you think and also if you have any other ideas for me :)
 

KingdomKey

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It's a nice piece that's simply and clean. (See what I did there?) I enjoyed reading it, since it was short. The only criticism I have for it is the lack of commas and periods. Most of your sentences are run on, therefore you can't see where the next sentence starts. Otherwise, it's quite dark in a twisted, beautiful way. It sounds like the bearer of light ended up betraying someone, and now, the victim will forever protect themselves from it's light and use the darkness to their advantage over them. =D
 

sora x kairi

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I am updating the piece now

( Heartless p2 )

I stumble and fall through many obstacles in the dark no one to find me not even the light could see me now. I hope for my life to change eclipsed in my eternal struggle till the day i perish do i have your hand of light?. I see my heart is ruined to its core of light, My world once know is shattered i do not know my self in the withering light world i bind my self to the dark. I ask my self do i belong away from you? I have no home with you, your heart of light was no match for me in my weakest hours of my lighted heart. Do i stay or walk through the door to light to see you again, to hold your hand, to see you after so long do i have the courage to do it do i know who i am anymore ?. I turned from the light needy for the dark for what cause, for the pain. I miss the light and my memories but i cant go back i must stay in deep darkness till we meet as rival enemies in the world beyond the door of darkness and light.....
 

KingdomKey

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So much conflict as a heartless. I almost pity the being, because it makes me want to shelter it from the light and keep it safe within the darkness. However, it's saddening to lose your memories and your light; withdrawing from it and losing hope like that. If only the heartless could be saved in some way from itself or the things that hurt it most. Another great piece, sora x kairi! :D
 

sora x kairi

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Love Locket) new piece :)

A love Locket is a gift not of darkness not of light,It is of more use to my heart then anything else in this world combined into a semi force of one thing. Who knows? It could be different from one person to another but to me my love locket is the key to see once of what was a friendship which has spit, loosing you was a break in the light of my heart but i don't give up and i am ready to use the love locket the thing i know can guide me....the Light of Home, The Light of Friendship and The Light of Love in equal measure of time and weaves of waves

Sora x Kairi
 

KingdomKey

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Kind of a lighthearted story right there. I take it your inspiration was from Sora and Kairi, huh? C: I'm happy this person doesn't let her split friendship/relationship keep her from giving up!
 
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