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Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 68 posted)



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Kiwi +

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 3 posted)

Wow, I really like your style of writing. I especially liked this chapter, you put a lot of emotion into this one. I thought. I felt like I was actually there and witnessing it myself. :eek:
 

Taochan

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 4 posted)

I love that they finally came to an understanding. <3

When I said emotional about the Xemnas/Roxas interaction... it's mostly because now we know essentially who Xemnas is and we see what Roxas has to do as an Org member. </3
 

Lanydx reborn

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 4 posted)

Wait what that Xi-Xi, or Ven? Ch 4 was quite good, it could be shorter, but that's my only gripe.
 

Sephiroth0812

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 4 posted)

Wow, I really like your style of writing. I especially liked this chapter, you put a lot of emotion into this one. I thought. I felt like I was actually there and witnessing it myself. :eek:

Many thanks, yes, it was intended as emotional. ;)
If one can imagine it actually as if he/she is there watching I think then the author has done something right.

I love that they finally came to an understanding. <3

When I said emotional about the Xemnas/Roxas interaction... it's mostly because now we know essentially who Xemnas is and we see what Roxas has to do as an Org member. </3

Yeah, good that Roxas saw his errors, right? Poor Ventus was really scared.

Ah, so that was it. Yes, that's of course true.

Wait what that Xi-Xi, or Ven? Ch 4 was quite good, it could be shorter, but that's my only gripe.

Xion is really nowhere there, it's Roxas who burst into Ven's heart...and in desperation to defend himself because Ven saw Roxas as a threat he used some of his heart-energy to create a projection of his armored self to force Roxas out of his injured heart.

Shorter? That's funny since I pay attention to that every chapter has roughly the same length.

---

Thanks for all the comments, I will see to that I can put up chapter V sometime on Saturday. ^__^
 

Sephiroth0812

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 4 posted)

Very well then, took me quite some time with the reformatting, but here's finally chapter V:

#####
V. The living mirror - Ventus

Roxas allowed himself another little smile.

Now knowing that he doesn’t have to fear me he ignores his constant pain and gets inquisitive on the spot, what an interesting guy…but how the heck do I explain that?

Biting his lip he realized another matter had to be taken care of first, as his “twin” was still bleeding from that shoulder-stab.

“That’s actually quite difficult for me to explain. I have an idea, but…actually, would you mind allowing me first to turn you around for treating the second wound I inflicted on you beforehand?…or did me touching you hurt you too?”

The other boy seemed to think for a moment before whispering a meek answer.
“No…your touch didn’t hurt but…I was just so frightened, and when you then tried to get at…”
He stopped, nearly bursting into tears again.

“It’s ok, sshshh, you know now that I don’t bear any ill will…calm down.” Roxas reassured him while shortly caressing the back of the boy’s left hand again.

“I will be exceptionally careful I promise, but I inflicted that additional wound on you so I consider it my duty to treat it.”

His “twin” slowly shook his head. “It won’t work how you expect it to…remember this is a manifestation of my heart, not my real body. Cure spells work mainly on flesh…not on hearts. Worse is you inflicted the stab and the cut with a keyblade, a weapon especially effective concerning hearts.”

“At least it could stop the bleeding…ghh” The black-coated youth now realized it. If there is no body, why is there blood?

“It’s not real blood, it’s something akin to heart-energy leaking out…and it hurts badly.” The wounded boy whispered as if he had read what Roxas thought.

“I know…your agonized screams were really piercing like knives, but the Cura-spell seemed at least to stop that on the cut on your hip, so let me try it on that stab too, to ease that pain!”

“Ok…fine then, let’s do this…” the wounded boy relented, pulling his left hand slowly back from Roxas’s, his expression twisting in pain again as he moved the limb, alarming the other boy.
“No, don’t move by yourself…you’ll only hand yourself over to additional pain. Please, it’s already hard to bear to see you constantly suffering, no need to intensify it.”

Letting out a small sob again the boy stopped moving.
“…uuh…it’s really weird. You are certainly caring about me now…and while it’s still contradicting to what you did before you even entered my heart I somehow feel you’re honest…so go ahead.”

Roxas nodded in agreement, still ignoring his own confusion. “Alright, here we go.”

He first discarded also the left glove, as he didn’t want to touch the other boy with the cold leather. Then he moved to the boy’s other side and went down there on both knees again, carefully taking his “twin’s” right wrist and placing the right arm in the same position parallel to the body as the left one.

Again he noticed him clenching his hand around that mysterious item, the boy letting out a winced yelp when Roxas moved the right arm.

“Everything is ok, I just don’t want to put pressure on your right arm. Be ready now, I’m starting…”

Roxas gulped, noticing still an unspoken fear inside him, a fear pertaining to the danger to worsen the other boy’s condition by moving him.
Taking uttermost care and paying attention to every little step he slowly managed to turn the fragile looking form of his “twin” around.

It’s almost like carrying a glass sculpture…so frail, but yet he’s so lightweight it’s nearly effortless.

Letting the other boy slowly settling down in his right arm, the wounded shoulder now resting closely to the upper arm while the boy’s head was leaned against Roxas’s own right shoulder, the black coated youth let out a relieved sigh.

“So, no additional harm done?” He asked while warily observing the other’s pain-stricken face.

“Indeed no harm done…seems like you did it splendidly…” came the muffled answer.

“That’s good. So now for stopping that “bleeding”…agh…” Suddenly a flash shot through Roxas’s head, impairing his vision for a short moment and letting him clutch his head with his free hand.

What’s this…I…I had that scenario before…I already held someone in my arm like this. Why can’t I remember who it was and where it was? I don’t remember anything except that this scenery is familiar and that this person was special…uuuuh…I don’t even know when it was…!?!?

“W…What’s wrong?” He barely heard the whispered, almost shy question from the boy he held.

“N…nothing. Just a sort of deja-vu…really nothing wrong.” He didn’t sound as sure as he wanted to.
Bringing his free left hand up Roxas placed it over the bleeding stab wound in the other’s shoulder. “Cura.”

As with the cut on the hip before, the spell didn’t actually heal the wound but at least stopped the bleeding.
“It’s…it’s really helping somewhat, thank you…” His “twin” tried another, barely noticeable smile.

“There’s no need for thanks…I’m just trying to make up for my errors, I actually should ask you to forgive my rashness…” While answering Roxas let his eyes flicker over the other boy’s body again in examination, but the bare chest and abdomen also featured not even one visible wound…except the two he himself had inflicted.

The wounded boy now tilted his head a bit.
“So now…what is your idea concerning your claim that it was not only my pathetic status what shocked you?”

“Oh well, for that…I fear I can’t describe it that well…and if I would just say it you probably won’t believe me anyways…”

“Eh? Why that?” The curiosity was back in the tone of his “twin’s” voice.

“Because I can’t believe it myself…tell me, do you think you can manage to open your eyes? You’ll understand instantly then.“ Roxas felt uneasy with asking the boy to endure another effort, but he knew it would make understanding his shock easier…and in turn he would get the last “proof” for their uncanny resemblance of each other.

“I haven’t tried it for a long time…as I’m more or less in a state of half-sleep now. That’s also why my sight is blurry and I couldn’t properly dodge when we fought. But ok, I’ll try it…you actually made me curious now.”

The boy clenched his teeth, and to Roxas’s utterly amazement he managed despite his frail looking figure and the constant shivering indicating his severe pain to pull up his right hand with surprising speed.
Placing the right hand still clutching the item firmly on his chest his “twin” let out a long breath before actually lifting up his head a bit.

Now I’ll see…the last confirmation of our similarity.

Roxas locked his own gaze at the other boy’s face as he slowly opened his eyes…and stiffened in awe and pity the next moment.

A pair of sapphires were now glancing back at him, nearly the same as his own and yet so different in what they emitted.
These eyes where emanating so much sadness and agony that Roxas couldn’t help but to wince himself.
What by Kingdom Hearts has happened to this poor guy…looking into those eyes feels so…incredible painful.
The first moment the boy’s entire expression was a confused one, arguably because he hadn’t really seen anything for a very long time, but in short order his weary, tormented blue eyes stayed locked on Roxas’s face, widening in surprise and disbelief.

“…Hhhh, uh? That…urrgh” He cringed in pain again, pressing his right hand harder on his bare chest. “…is this a mirage? It can’t be, can it?” Roxas retained his gaze on the other boy’s face as well.

“You have the same reaction more or less as I had when I found you lying here. Now you understand my confusion, don’t you?” He whispered softly to the wounded boy.

“…please…if you would excuse me…”
“Wha…?” Roxas was surprised at the very polite tone of the other boy, and as his “twin’s” left hand came up and started to trace his right cheekbone with very cautious motions he became nervous.
Trembling more with insecurity than with fear now, the hand moved on to shortly poke the tip of his nose and then proceeded to pull on one strand of his hair.
“Eeek…now what are you doing?” He squeaked.

“I’m sorry…but…it’s just like looking into a living mirror.” The wounded boy said apologizing, casting his sapphires down as if ashamed.

“…a living mirror! I couldn’t have coined that better…hey, you don’t need to apologize…I was just surprised.” Roxas replied gently.

Slightly flinching in his arm, his “twin” looked up again slowly, shyly examining Roxas further with his eyes.
“We…we’re so similar in looks it’s scary…y…yes, I now clearly understand your confusion…” He stuttered, obviously flabbergasted.

Roxas almost regretted now having convinced him to open his eyes…as his “twin” was clearly upset and confused himself now…and considering his state it was questionable if the wounded heart could take that additional strain.

“Just don’t worry too much now…it’ll do your poor condition no good. I swear to you by Kingdom Hearts itself I won’t cause you willingly any harm.”

The other boy shortly shut his eyes again and sighed before establishing firm eye contact again, his voice a tad wavering.
“…You’re even making a vow…!? N…Now I can’t comprehend why you tortured me before…you’re not really malevolent at all…”

“Like I said…I don’t even know anything about it…yet still, someone in your condition has no reason at all to lie.” Roxas frowned, desperately trying to grasp when he could have hurt the other boy’s heart when it was inside Sora’s all along.

“Nevertheless, I think as a token of trust I’d at least give you my name. I’m Roxas.”

The sad blue gems narrowed a bit, but this time the boy managed a full, noticeable smile.
“…alright. My name is Ventus…but I prefer Ven.”

Ventus huh? And he even allowed me to call him by a nickname…maybe if we build up mutual trust we can start to slowly shed some light on all that mess…and I surely want to know what or who caused him that much suffering by injuring his heart so badly.

Roxas gave him back a genuine smile. “Pleased to meet you, Ven…only pity it isn’t under better circumstances…hah?” His smile froze as Ven’s entire body suddenly cringed in pain. Gasping and moaning, Ven flinched heavily while his left hand with the wristband nearly clawed into the coat on Roxas’s chest.
His sapphires now flickered in panic, silently staring at him in an outcry begging for help.
“Agh…uuuh, no, how can it…be that bad…aaaargh. R…Ro…xas please…help me!!” Ven’s sobbing voice pierced him like a spear…

#####

Happy reading.
And yes, I know this is a mean cliffhanger. *ggg*
 

Lanydx reborn

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 5 posted)

I wonder if all their fighting hurt Sora in amy way?
 

Kiwi +

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 5 posted)

Haha, as usual you always put such emotion into your chapters. I really liked that part with the cure spell, that it only cures flesh not the heart. Very nice.

Ah, a cliffhanger though! I await your next chapter, good sir. :D
 

KingdomKey

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 5 posted)

The cliffhanger! It's killing me! What's happening to Ven!? DX your doing an amazing job with the chapters so far. And the emotions on chapter 4.

It does make me wonder what's happening on the outside. Like is Sora getting affected by any of this? Or what's going to happen to Ven? Wait something could be happening to his body! Sure a part of his heart is inside Sora but maybe his actually body in castle oblivion is beginning to fade or something!? O.O

I guess I'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out the answer.. That is if you decide to give us one lol. Always the chance of being left in the dark to make even more suspense.
 

Youniquee

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 5 posted)

I like the whole flashback thing and about the heartless attacking more brutally due to the will to live. That was really interesting :3
Just had to say that~

Chapter 4:
I'm pretty sure the guy on the platform is Ven right? Unless I'm just being confused.
*Decides to re-read chapters 3, 4 and 5* From what I've seen, The figure that was fighting Roxas must have been Ven's fear that formed into some kind of replica in defence I'm guessing. Am I right or am I still confused T_T

That scene with him bleeding and stuff, I can just imagine Ven's theme being played here..:D The description that you used makes it easier to imagine.
you tortured me for a long period beforehand
I am rubbing my chin here. Roxas tortured him for a long time before this?
he was flabbergasted to see the boy’s lips forming a small, barely noticeable smile on the tear-stained face.
Awww, this chapter is so cute. I'm glad Roxas was be able to gain the trust of Ven :3
Just a bit of critque I guess, Maybe instead of using 'twin' all the time, you could mix it up. Like look a like, copy or something (Because that's how Ven appears to Roxas right?) Just imo, I think it makes the writing flow better. Just a suggestion though~

Minus that, I liked this chapter. It left some mysteries that make the reader question and want to read on. :3
Onto chapter 5!

Heart energy leaking out? Ouch, sounds damn painful~ I wonder what would have happened if all of Ven's heart energy had disappeared? Would he disappear from Sora's heart?
Xion reference, Nice~
I can't get enough of Ven's cuteness >.<

That cliffhanger. ಠ_ಠ Just when I thought everything was going nicely, then bam. Ven's in pain again. I wonder what's going to happen to him. And as a few people said, I wonder if any of this effected Sora. I've always wondered how it would be if Ven and Roxas did meet.
Overall, this chapter was nice. I liked how you stuck to the canon of KH but yet still added your own things which blended in nicely. :3
I'm looking forward to the next one~
 

Sephiroth0812

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 5 posted)

I wonder if all their fighting hurt Sora in amy way?

Legitimate question, lol. And again spot on. ;)

Haha, as usual you always put such emotion into your chapters. I really liked that part with the cure spell, that it only cures flesh not the heart. Very nice.

Ah, a cliffhanger though! I await your next chapter, good sir. :D

Many thanks...yep, I figured that to make the things more exciting and difficult. Simply curing those wounds with a Cure-spell would have been a too easy deus ex machina, ;).

It's a real mean cliffhanger too...I'll get on that a tad below. ^__^

The cliffhanger! It's killing me! What's happening to Ven!? DX your doing an amazing job with the chapters so far. And the emotions on chapter 4.

It does make me wonder what's happening on the outside. Like is Sora getting affected by any of this? Or what's going to happen to Ven? Wait something could be happening to his body! Sure a part of his heart is inside Sora but maybe his actually body in castle oblivion is beginning to fade or something!? O.O

I guess I'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out the answer.. That is if you decide to give us one lol. Always the chance of being left in the dark to make even more suspense.

Hehe, that's what it's there for, to create suspense and maybe cause some (imaginary though) nailbiting.
Something very bad is actually happening, and it has several reasons.
I'm very glad I got those emotions right...;)

Just like Landyx, you have a thing for asking exactly the appropriate things right away, lol.
Of course Sora will be affected, and we'll see that soon.
What happens to Ven though will remain a mystery a tad longer, that's why I said this cliffhanger is mean...we'll have a location change starting with the next chapter...*ggg*.
Ven's heart is more or less completely in Sora though...but with Roxas directly inside Ven's injured heart there's a catch and all that has happened in chapter 3, 4 and 5 will of course have a bigger impact.

Wait will not be that long...I'll set up chapter 6 tomorrow evening. ^__^

I like the whole flashback thing and about the heartless attacking more brutally due to the will to live. That was really interesting :3
Just had to say that~

Chapter 4:
I'm pretty sure the guy on the platform is Ven right? Unless I'm just being confused.
*Decides to re-read chapters 3, 4 and 5* From what I've seen, The figure that was fighting Roxas must have been Ven's fear that formed into some kind of replica in defence I'm guessing. Am I right or am I still confused T_T

That scene with him bleeding and stuff, I can just imagine Ven's theme being played here..:D The description that you used makes it easier to imagine.
I am rubbing my chin here. Roxas tortured him for a long time before this?

Awww, this chapter is so cute. I'm glad Roxas was be able to gain the trust of Ven :3
Just a bit of critque I guess, Maybe instead of using 'twin' all the time, you could mix it up. Like look a like, copy or something (Because that's how Ven appears to Roxas right?) Just imo, I think it makes the writing flow better. Just a suggestion though~

Minus that, I liked this chapter. It left some mysteries that make the reader question and want to read on. :3
Onto chapter 5!

Heart energy leaking out? Ouch, sounds damn painful~ I wonder what would have happened if all of Ven's heart energy had disappeared? Would he disappear from Sora's heart?
Xion reference, Nice~
I can't get enough of Ven's cuteness >.<

That cliffhanger. ಠ_ಠ Just when I thought everything was going nicely, then bam. Ven's in pain again. I wonder what's going to happen to him. And as a few people said, I wonder if any of this effected Sora. I've always wondered how it would be if Ven and Roxas did meet.
Overall, this chapter was nice. I liked how you stuck to the canon of KH but yet still added your own things which blended in nicely. :3
I'm looking forward to the next one~

Thank you...I figured explaining that psychological occurrence by using that flashback with another situation was more creative than just let Roxas remember it by thinking. It was also a nice opportunity to set a mission on one of the skipped Days in Days (<_<, what a term, herpdderp) and of course to bring in Xemnas for the first time.

for chapter 4:
Yes, the shirtless boy lying on the floor is Ven, or rather the manifestation of Ven's "inner self" inside his own heart. You got that right.
You got the armored guy pretty closely.
As explained in the flashback, Ven, being wounded and frightened by Roxas just bursting into his heart without saying a word at first and trying to touch him, created a projection of his armored self out of energy from his heart to defend himself and drive Roxas out of his heart.

Oh yeah, I rewrote that part at least two times because I wanted the reader to be able to fully imagine the severity of was happened.
Roxas dropping his keyblades when he realizes what he has done served also to underline that.
I actually listened to Ven's theme for the majority of chapter 4 and also on parts in chapter 5.

Hehehe, yes, that one. Good observation.
It's a mystery right now and will remain that for a while...but it's nevertheless wise to keep in mind because it will become important.
I'll just say so much: Yes, Ventus is correct on that one, Roxas did torture him but it's not like Roxas forgot that...he never realized he did it and it was also in no way intentional on Roxas's part!

If I would say that was unintended I would lie, I certainly aimed for a certain cuteness in this. ^__^
Critique noticed and written down in my noticeboard. I will try to incorporate this in later chapters. ;)

If that's the case, mission accomplished on my side, lol.

for chapter 5:
It sounds like that because it is indeed painful. Roxas in fact really did cut two new wounds into Ven's heart from inside it, there's no way to sugarcoat it.
If all heart energy dissappeared? Hmm...there exists a "state" of a heart when this happens and it will be addressed later on...yet not with Ven.
I just had to...*ggg*, despite all hate, Xion is a part of the KH cast and she also will play a role...although not as much a central one as she did have in Days.
No worries, there will be plenty of Ven-cuteness...^__^

I can imagine that being sort of a "shocker" a bit...but it does have its reasons. You'll have to wonder for this a little bit longer though, as the focus will now shift away from Roxas and Ven for a while.
The relationship between them will be deepened though later on...^__^
Ahaha, so you too...that's so convenient, as chapter 6 will hold a first glimpse on the effects it has for our spiky-haired main hero. On this note, one advice would also be to remember the actual fight of Ven and Roxas where Ven hit Roxas with a Spark Raid. *ggg*

I was really not actively trying to stay fully in canon, but when it remains within canon it is of course even better.

Chapter 6 will be here tomorrow evening.
Again a big thank you for the detailed comments and interest, it's a big motivator. ^__^
 

Sephiroth0812

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 5 posted)

Alrighty, as announced here's chapter 6, let's take a small look on what's up with Sora. ;)

#####

VI. Feeling the tip of torment

Sora's eyes shot open when he awoke with a surprised gasp.

Hah, what's going on? hnnh, I feel so, weird.

He hastily sat up in his bed, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness in his room.
Pressing the left palm on his forehead and clasping his white undershirt with the right hand right over his chest he let go a drawn out sigh.

What was that? A dream? A vision?

Now Sora noticed his undershirt soaked with sweat, as was his spiky brown hair.

Wonderful, simply wonderful, what's wrong with me? seems I've no choice but to take a shower,only difficulty is to sneak out here without waking Kairi or Riku.

Diverting his gaze to the alarm-clock sitting on the window ledge where he had placed it earlier he noticed it being 3.45am in the morning.

Slowly removing the blanket, Sora got up from his bed and crept in the direction of the door, paying scrupulous attention to not to make any noise.
Concerned or curious questions from both his closest friends was the last thing he needed now.

Reaching the door, Sora snatched an other shirt and new shorts from the shelf beside it and slipped into the corridor.

Luckily we also have a bathroom up here, so I don't need to use the creaking stairs, ouch!
Sora bumped into a small table standing in the corridor.
Dammit, I should have brought my flashlight.

Suppressing the urge to swear Sora slowly sneaked further down the corridor, finally reaching the upstairs bathroom.

After carefully closing the door behind him he fumbled for the light switch, blinking when the lights shone out.

Phew, lucky me, no one noticed.

Sora hastily discarded his sweaty clothes, grabbed a towel from a nearby shelf and entered the shower cubicle.

Comfortable warm water started to pour down on him as Sora switched on the shower.
Leaning on the back wall of the cabin, he just let the water flow down his entire body, not moving one inch.

Why? Why did I start to sweat that heavily? And then, this weird occurrence, am I starting to imagine things? Overeacting because of what was written in the King's letter?
Sora shook his head, causing waterdrops to fly from his hair-ends.

I gotta find it out, somehow.
But now I need to go to bed for the rest of the night, or someone might notice something and I'll get questions I now clearly don't have the nerve for.
It just remains to hope it won't happen again this night.

Five to seven minutes went by before the brunette turned off the water and stepped out again, buried in thought while drying himself.

As he just had put the new shorts on and was about to pull the fresh undershirt over his head it happened.

Ghh, shit!

The door opened slowly.

"So I didn't dream the light lurking through from below the door. Don't you think it's a tad early to take a shower?"

The voice was quiet, yet emanating a surprised touch.
Riku stood in the doorframe, the left arm leaning on it while he carried a bottle of mineral water in the right hand.

"Eeeh? Riku? Why are you awake?" Sora's facial expression was a mixture of surprise and displeasure.

"That should actually be my question. But for your information, I got suddenly thirsty." The silver-haired older teen retorted with a grunt, waving the bottle around.

Pulling the shirt down Sora looked aside. "Oh, what a funny coincidence, I suddenly was bathed in sweat and awoke, that's the whole story."

Riku raised a brow. "Funny coincidence?"

Sora faced him again, his face now covered by a wide grin. "Yeah, I'm the one losing that much water by who knows what reason and you're the one who gets the thirst. You gotta let me have something of that water too!"

Damn it, he has it again, that investigating look. I don't want to talk about it, not now. I need to sort some things out for myself before I get anyone other involved in this. Standing there clueless again and not even knowing what's going on with myself is ticking me off way more than ever before.
Sora flinched inside, annoyance slowly growing.

With a fluid motion Riku tossed the bottle over to Sora, who grabbed it out of the air in mid-flight.

Opening it and tilting his head back to get a sip, the spiky-haired brunette now didn't notice Riku's actual concerned stare though the silver strands falling in his view.

Sora, you still can't do it. hmph, I can always tell if your bubbly goofing around and being lighthearted is sincere or not. I guess that's what it's like when you know each other since crawling stage.
Yet still, Kairi's pretty sensitive, and I bet she's going to notice too. The question that remains is, why? Why won't you confide in us? Confide in me? Is there still-

Riku shook his head energetically, pondering won't get either of them anywhere. He had already a small idea what might go on with Sora.
But how to approach?

He realized the other boy glancing at him from the corner of one eye.

Putting down the bottle Sora fixated the older teen.
"You're brooding again, aren't you?"

"Out of a good reason, that's clear!" Riku folded his arms before his chest, blocking the door.

Sora's eyes widened in surprise. "Wha-? What's the matter all of a sudden?"

Riku sighed. "Don't play the clueless guy more than you really are, you clearly discovered that I noticed you are only playing the happy-go-lucky kid here. You may be able to fool Donald and Goofy with that, but not me, and I would assume Kairi neither."

Sora slightly winced. Oh well, so much for the cover'damn you, Riku.
Still, I don't want to disclose any details before I have thought it through for myself.

"Alright, alright, you won, sometimes I wish you wouldn't always see through me like that!" The brunette placed his hands behind his head, this time displaying a true smile.

The older teen snorted amused. "No chance, I know you too long for that, and you're comparatively easy to read. Now then, what's really bothering you?"
The concerned tone was back in Riku's voice.

Sora retorted with shaking his head.
"I don't know clearly for myself, it was just weird, some funky nightmare I don't even fully remember."

"A nightmare?" Riku's expression showed thoughtfulness. "Do you remember anything?"

"Just fractures, and it's nothing really that spectacular." The brunette still tried to avoid the subject as much as possible, causing the older teen to feel a small pain inside him.

Despite reconciling, despite walking the same road together again it seems he still can't trust me fully again. Doesn't he see that I'm worried?

It really felt somewhat bitter.
"Still spectacular enough to cause you some heavy sweating." He finally answered.

Sora chuckled. "Guess so!" The younger boy now suddenly faced Riku with a serious expression which made the silver-haired teen's eyes wide in surprise.

"Riku, I-I really appreciate your concern and I'm thankful you want to help, but I just can't directly talk now. How do you expect me to disclose some occurrences I don't even understand myself.
I-I want at least to try and bring some sense into it with my own wit before consulting others."

Riku grunted. "Fair enough I suppose, as I wasn't very open about personal things the last two years either."

The brunette shook his head even more determined. "No, no, that's not it! agh. I don't even know if it is just overreacting on my side and I'm imagining things, and then I would have made a fuss about nothing."

"And you think brooding about it will get you an answer to that? Sora, even if you're just imagining things, such occurrences can also hold either hints or a warning!"

"Ok, fine, well, like I said, I can't remember much, only this scream, this scream that nearly freaked me out!"

"A scream? In your nightmare? What kind of scream was it? A voice you know?"

"A scream full of agony, sadness, fear, and excruciating pain. It felt just horrible, but while the tone of voice was strangely familiar I can't designate it to a person."
Sora shortly visibly shivered when re-thinking about the issue.

Riku didn't move his eyes away from his friend. "You know, I won't necessary say that you imagine things, of course the King's letter about the truth of the keyblade, the tormented people and all that ties back to you bothers you. Yet still I would not rule out that by informing you about this the letter triggered something, something deeply connected to your heart. That scream may have been a harbinger, showing you the tip of the torment that awaits to be healed."

Sora's eyes widened, his face turning into a concerned mask. "But, we don't even know which people are meant by this, and I'm seemingly connected to many, say Riku, did we contemplate too long? Is their suffering increasing the more time passes?"

The silver-haired teen shook his head vigorously. "Sora! Don't!! Don't get fed up and start to self-blame. If it would be really that urgent the King wouldn't have send us a letter, he would have come personally!"

"that scream was really terrifying though." The other whispered.

"I can't judge that because I didn't hear it, but Sora, always remember we'll be together now, and we'll face that horrible torment together and then find a way to heal it!"
Sora nodded, seemingly calmer now.
"Ok then, let's go to bed again before Kairi really wakes up and we have more unpleasant questions." With this words Riku turned and finally gave free the door.


Approving with another nod Sora followed, still deep in thought as he certainly didn't tell Riku everything he remembered, and anything he felt, like that sudden, short painful 'stab' in his heart and another scream of agony after that.

#####

Happy reading.
Can you designate the parallels of what Sora "heard" and "felt" to the fight in chapter II and III? ^__^
 
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Lanydx reborn

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 6 posted)

Good chapter, but the whole *Happy go-lucky, as a cover for hidden feelings.* doesn't fly with me. Sora has always been that way, and it's not fake. Or atleast that's how I see it.
 

KingdomKey

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 6 posted)

Actually I thought this chapter was great and had a more serious vibe to it. I can't wait to see where this goes with Sora, Roxas, and Ventus. It kind of gives us more in sight to how serious the situation is going to be. Whatever that situation is, I think we will know soon.

Other wise I get what your saying Lan, but Sora can't stay that way forever. I mean sure he can be childish at times, yet I would expect Roxas serious side to be a part of Sora by now. I mean Roxas is a part of him, so the Sora we know from before should now show a more serious side to himself now.

I'm far more curious now then before to know what role Riku plays in this. I have the feeling something is going to happen to Sora but I don't know what it will be. The suspense in it makes it even more thrilling to read and keep you on the edge of your seat. And with that said, your doing an amazing job Septhiroth0812 that I look forward to more and seeing what becomes of them all.

For all I know this fanfic could have a sad and dark ending XD yet I will have to wait to see if that actually happens. Ooh~ the wonderful chills I get from the suspense of wanting to know where this leads >XD
 

Youniquee

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 6 posted)

Woo~ I actually kept refreshing this at like 2am just to read it xD

I really liked this chapter. Yay back to Sora and Riku :33. I'm assuming what Sora heard was Ven's scream and probably felt the pain (When Roxas keybladed him) and the fear that Ven felt. This is just a guess though xD

I like the interaction between Sora and Riku, totally how I imagined them interacting. My inter fan girl was all like...Riku and Sora alone *Wiggles fingers* But then I remember this isn't that type of fic lolol.

I also like how Riku is still effected by trust issues due to the events that look place in the game. It could serve as some nice conflict sometime in the story, and I'm looking forward to that.

I have to disagree with Lanydx as I think that gives more insight into Sora's character and makes it way more interesting. I always like it when Fanfics explore other sides of Sora that the game barely touches upon. And *gasp* Sora swore :O But I can imagine him doing that, he's a teenager after all :3

Anyway, in conclusion, this chapter was interesting. I kinda think of this chapter as 'Things are going to start happening' chapter which makes me want the next chapter to come next :D

Great writing, bro~
 

Sephiroth0812

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 6 posted)

Good chapter, but the whole *Happy go-lucky, as a cover for hidden feelings.* doesn't fly with me. Sora has always been that way, and it's not fake. Or atleast that's how I see it.

Thanks.
As for Sora though I think your forgot one important thing. Using overboard cheerfulness to hide some of his own feelings is actually canon Sora. No one can always be totally happy go-lucky and also mean it at all time.
It was shown pretty clear, although granted very shortly, in KH2 that Sora actually does this.

Since they know each other since they were very little kids Riku (at least in my story) is one of the few people who can distinctively tell when Sora's happy behaviour is genuine and when not.

Actually I thought this chapter was great and had a more serious vibe to it. I can't wait to see where this goes with Sora, Roxas, and Ventus. It kind of gives us more in sight to how serious the situation is going to be. Whatever that situation is, I think we will know soon.

Other wise I get what your saying Lan, but Sora can't stay that way forever. I mean sure he can be childish at times, yet I would expect Roxas serious side to be a part of Sora by now. I mean Roxas is a part of him, so the Sora we know from before should now show a more serious side to himself now.

I'm far more curious now then before to know what role Riku plays in this. I have the feeling something is going to happen to Sora but I don't know what it will be. The suspense in it makes it even more thrilling to read and keep you on the edge of your seat. And with that said, your doing an amazing job Septhiroth0812 that I look forward to more and seeing what becomes of them all.

For all I know this fanfic could have a sad and dark ending XD yet I will have to wait to see if that actually happens. Ooh~ the wonderful chills I get from the suspense of wanting to know where this leads >XD

Thanks KingdomKey. Yup, after the drama happening inside Sora's heart, we get some seriousness on the outside.
That's great it builds up such suspense, as all this is really an important point which will cause serious problems, but also other developments later on.

Don't get it wrong though, Sora is still the upbeat, cheerful youth we know, but since this issue is involving him directly he wants to find out some things by himself first before relying on others at first glance.
Some of Roxas's seriousness may really got passed down to Sora, that can be interpreted by the readers like they want.
My main aim with this was however to show that Sora can be serious in situations were it is needed and that he, selfless as he is, doesn't want to bother others with his problems when he can't even properly define them.

Hehehe, if that is the case the story already has made good of its purpose. It is exactly my aim to let most original characters take an important role.
There is really very much going to happen, I can ensure that, lol, and Riku will play a major role in it in more than one way. ;)

I won't say anything about the ending yet since it is going to be a real huge story...with much drama but also some slight, not overdone "comedic relief" thrown in sometimes to loosen up the depressed mood a bit as the next chapter will show.

That last sentence made me jump in happiness literally, completely honest. ^__^

Woo~ I actually kept refreshing this at like 2am just to read it xD

I really liked this chapter. Yay back to Sora and Riku :33. I'm assuming what Sora heard was Ven's scream and probably felt the pain (When Roxas keybladed him) and the fear that Ven felt. This is just a guess though xD

I like the interaction between Sora and Riku, totally how I imagined them interacting. My inter fan girl was all like...Riku and Sora alone *Wiggles fingers* But then I remember this isn't that type of fic lolol.

I also like how Riku is still effected by trust issues due to the events that look place in the game. It could serve as some nice conflict sometime in the story, and I'm looking forward to that.

I have to disagree with Lanydx as I think that gives more insight into Sora's character and makes it way more interesting. I always like it when Fanfics explore other sides of Sora that the game barely touches upon. And *gasp* Sora swore :O But I can imagine him doing that, he's a teenager after all :3

Anyway, in conclusion, this chapter was interesting. I kinda think of this chapter as 'Things are going to start happening' chapter which makes me want the next chapter to come next :D

Great writing, bro~

Wow, Youniquee, that's flattering...*ggg*.

We will have more location jumps as there are several different paths starting out which will more or less converge later on, but I think that will make it even more interesting, connecting things together like now with Sora's "nightmare" and the fight between Ven and Roxas.
You got it nearly right. The first scream Sora heard (and the one which he admitted to Riku) was Ven's when Roxas accidentally stabbed him in the shoulder.
The short "stab" Sora felt in his own heart was the pain Roxas felt when the lightbeams from Ven's Spark Raid-attack hit him while the second scream was Ven's when Roxas slitted Oblivion across his hip.

I take this as that I managed to keep Riku and Sora more or less in character, thanks. ^__^
My goodness, thinking about such stuff is completely fine with me, lol, while this of course is not that type of fic it doesn't mean a reader can't think further, ;).

Oh, Riku is clearly not fully over his guilty feelings, that will indeed serve for some kind of conflict, although probably not directly with Sora.

You just said it. This side of Sora is barely shown, as for a short time in KH2, that is.
In the dark corridor where he bumped into the table he suppressed that urge though, and the other time he was only swearing in his thoughts, *ggg*.

The way you describe the chapter is exactly spot on, as it is really a "it's starting"-chapter.
Chapters 7 and 8 will also shed such a feeling for other "parties" involved in the bigger picture. ;)

Many thanks for all the comments/reviews. Chapter VII will be there on Saturday just as usual.
 

Sephiroth0812

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 6 posted)

So, let's get on with chapter VII and introduce some more players to the field. ;)

#####

VII. The return of the King

While the Destiny Islands were still shrouded in the depths of the night, the sun was rising at Disney Castle in an early bright morning, the surrounding town slowly awakening for another busy day.

The colonnade suffused with light already saw two visitors this early, as a well-known bipedal duck made his way down the corridor, encountering the Queen of the kingdom on her way to the audience chamber.

"Good morning your Majesty." Court Magician Donald Duck spoke with a ceremonial tone almost overdone, causing the Queen to let go a small chuckle.
"A good morning to you too, Donald...but you don't need to be that formal you know." Minnie answered, before turning slightly to the big door leading to the audience chamber.

Donald's posture loosened a bit. "Thank you, your Majesty, I was just going to check up the status of the preparations to contact Sora and Riku. With the King due to return any day now I would assume we left them enough time to think."

Queen Minnie closed her eyes shortly before turning to face Donald again. "You know, I was quite surprised that he had to rush away to meet Master Yen Sid right after writing that letter to Sora and taking another look at the datascape...for him to being that hasty he must have a very urgent matter to discuss with him."

Donald nodded in approval. "It struck me with surprise too...as if something his Majesty learned from his journey with Data Sora suddenly hit him as very important...but I nonetheless want to confer about this with Captain Goofy as well."

"The King must have his reasons...yet still, I would appreciate him not simply running off without even a small explanation. As for Goofy, I have not seen him already this morning...but I'm afraid that I'm not up to date on how the patrol plan is set up this week."
The Queen seemed somewhat uneasy with the whole situation.

"Don't you worry your Majesty, I'm sure the King does this so that additional worries may not interfere with you leading the kingdom while he's out on his duties as a keyblade master."
Donald raised his right hand with the index finger pointing upwards, underlining his speech.

"Thank you for the reassuring words Donald, we'll meet later." Answered the Queen in relief.
"If you then would excuse me now, I have to find Goofy."
Donald turned to 90 degrees, waddling down the rest of the colonnade while Minnie turned and entered the audience chamber.

After having crossed half of the broad perron leading to the courtyard Donald stopped as he was approached by three familar ducklings climbing up the stairs.

They were clad in identical lightweight armor and brandished sharp-looking spears.
Waaak? Now what's up with the boys?
He thought in surprise.
"Huey, Dewey, Louie? What's with that military parade all of a sudden?" Donald quickly glanced from one duckling to another as they came to a halt opposite and three steps below him, trying to distinguish them.

It took him more than a second to notice the several different colored feathers sitting on top of their helmets, coming in the colors of red, blue and green, like the ducklings' regular caps.

"Well, a good morning to you too, Unca Donald." Huey answered, lining his spear up beside him.
"We're part-time castle guards now, helping Goofy keeping order while the King is abroad." Dewey added with determination.
"Not to mention we're keeping an eye on Unca Scrooge's fortune, too." Louie finished while twirling his spear around.

Shortly tapping his foot, Donald opted for a more approving answer however.
"It's nice to see you acting in a useful way boys. So where's that order-keeper Goofy? I need to talk with him."
"Last time I checked, he's taking a nap in the courtyard." Dewey answered, with the other two ducklings chuckling.
"Waaak? Again...that notorious slacker..." Donald jumped shaking his fist, showing one of his famous temperamental outbursts.
"Thanks boys, see you around." He added before running past his nephews, taking two steps at once, hurrying to reach the courtyard.

Storming through the door shortly after, Donald loudly shouted Goofy's name.
"What's the fuss this early Donald, do you really have to be so noisy?" Horace Horsecollar greeted Donald halfway down the path, carrying hedge shears to work on the plants.

"I have, as that lazy palooka Goofy is slacking off somewhere here, and we gotta have to sort out some things so we're ready for action when the King comes back." The court magician retorted with impatience.
"Well, I surely don't have seen him...and I won't say it's pure laziness as he was on patrol half of the night, ya know!" Horace retorted, his tone somewhat disapprovingly.

"Ah, what do you know? My nephews just re-entered the castle from patrol duty, as they're helping out as part-time guards. Furthermore it's been already three days since his Majesty went to see Master Yen Sid and four since he wrote the letter to our friends on Destiny Islands, we need to have some things prepared when he returns and Goofy's also the one entrusted by the King to oversee the refitting of the main gummi ship."
The duck was unfazed by Horace's statement and after reprimanding him started to look around in the courtyard.

"Whatever the case is...just don't explode again or you'll get problems with your blood pressure even before Scrooge McDuck does." Horace said disarmingly, turning his attention to the hedges and plants in the courtyard.
Donald dismissed it with an annoyed grunt, starting to run around searching, Goofy wasn't on the flower field in the middle where the castle-like arrangement of foliage which housed the entrance to the gummi-hangar was situated.
Now where is he? Hiding in the bushes?

Narrowing his eyes, Donald now noticed a muffled, but persistent snoring coming from behind one of the hedges.
Gotcha...
He hurried around the hedge, where Goofy laid lazily stretched out.

"Goofy!!! Wake up!" The shout echoed back from the enclosing walls of the courtyard, letting Horace Horsecollar jumping in surprise and two of the magical brooms shortly suspended their current activity to look around befuddled.

The answer Donald got however was another drawn out snore, Goofy surely had a deep sleep.
"..." Donald started tapping his foot, annoyed.
"WAAAK!" Raising his right index finger, he conjured a toned-down thunder spell, zapping Goofy awake.

"Wow...oi, oi..." Goofy jumped in surprise, sitting up and making a very stupid face afterwards.
"Gawrsh, that was a rough waking call. Well, nonetheless a good morning, Donald."

Donald in response jumped quickly up and down, quacking annoyed. "Why do I need to zap you awake in 8 of 10 cases? Dammit Goofy..."

"Oi Donald, maybe because I have a healthly sleep? But say, what's all the fuss again?" Goofy didn't even lose his cheerfulness in one sentence.

The duck shortly facepalmed before calming to a suitable level again.
"What fuss? No fuss, do you actually know for how long the King is away today?"

"Of course, starting today it's the fourth day since...wooaao...the fourth already?"
Goofy looked upset now, his glance insecurely flickering all around as if he expected King Mickey to stand somewhere already.
"Oh boy...it's already that late...he can be back any day now."

Donald was tapping his foot again. "From your reaction I assume the preparations are way behind schedule?"
"Gawrsh, setting up a Digitizer like the one that leads into Tron's world in Radiant Garden isn't as easy as one would think, and the lackluster funding of your uncle did not help either..." Goofy explained, looking embarassed.

Facepalming again, Donald shook his head.
"I feared it...Uncle Scrooge, that old miser. So how far are Gyro and you at all?"

"Err...well, we set up all necessary interfaces and ports to allow more controllable travel to and from the datascape with Data-Riku's help...but the material for the actual Digitizer is close to crap. Gyro said he can not take responsibility for this patchwork to work properly and Data-Riku even refused to actually activate it for fear of damaging the datascape."

"Crapload...so what about accommodation? The refit of the gummi-ship?" Donald's visage was clearly displeased.
"Accommodation should not be an issue, we have way enough rooms and Duchess Daisy can order to make up a room in less than two hours. As for the gummi-ship, last time I checked the upgrading was going smoothly."

"And when did you check?" Donald asked, with a nitpicky tone.
"Not so long ago, maybe 6 or 7 hours, the ship should be ready by tomorrow lunch-time." Goofy reassured.

"So the main problem remains our constant direct access to the datascape, did Jiminy at least re-upload the debugged journal to set everything straight in the data world?"

"That went pretty well as far as I know, at least that's what Data-Riku said about it." The captain of the Royal Guard seemed much more relaxed and optimistic now.
"Come on Donald, except the Digitizer everything is going well, if the worst case happens Sora, Riku and Kairi will have to contact the datascape through the monitor instead of going there, although this would no doubt sadden Data-Sora, who wants to meet the real one in person."
Before Goofy could go on Chip's voice was heard through the loudspeaker system of the castle, announcing the approach of King Mickey's gummi-ship.
Exchanging a brief glance without needing to say a word, Donald and Goofy rushed to the hangar beside each other to welcome their King.
On the main hangar platform Pluto was already patiently waiting, wagging his tail in anticipation.
Chip and Dale were in the operator's box as usual, monitoring the approaching gummi ship's descent and preparing the guide beam as Donald and Goofy joined Pluto on the main platform.

It took only 6 to 7 more minutes until the royal gummi ship was safely landed and Mickey Mouse, the so far last known active keyblade master disembarked, displaying a worried yet at the same time determined look.
Both Donald and Goofy were surprised at this sight, and exchanged another glance before Donald spoke.
"Welcome back your Majesty. What's wrong? Bad news from Master Yen Sid?"

Mickey shortly sighed, then his worried expression vanished completely, replaced by full determination.
"Donald, Goofy...while I went to Master Yen Sid because I might have finally found the location of the heart of one person that belongs to the group we have to save, these good news where sadly overshadowed by the alarming news Yen Sid had for me."

Goofy made a thoughtful face. "Hmmm...so the events in the datascape and the copy of tormented memories gave you a important hint on one of them, but what could actually be so alarming about that? Is it worse than we thought?"
"The events really gave me a quite important clue, and I finally remembered him fully...that boy I met and befriended several years ago while I was in my Mark of Mastery-exam. But Yen Sid's news doesn't really concern the tormented ones at first glance...what we thought of being a mission to investigate their individual torments, find ways to heal them and therefore bring them back, might have to be expanded into a full battle for the universe again.
It irks me, but an old enemy is raising his head yet again."

Both Donald and Goofy jumped at this with a loud "Whaaat?".
"Who? Is Maleficent scheming yet again?" Donald quacked.

The King shook his head. "No, while she is no doubt still a threat to be taken seriously, our actual main problem is still the fella Xehanort. The one who caused most of the suffering those poor people have to endure."

"Xehanort???" The dog and duck shouted in unison yet again.

#####

It includes a reference to KH1 as well as a maybe not yet so obvious mentioning of a new Disney character, *ggg*.

Happy reading again.
 
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KingdomKey

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 7 posted)

Aw this chapter gives me a nostalgic feeling. (thinks of kh1 and 2). Oh yeah, I don't think I know who that new disney character is.. Then again the name Horace rings a bell. I'll have to go look into him later. I lol at Donald and Goofy's unison. XD I look forward to more like always Sephiroth0812.
 

Taochan

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 7 posted)

@Chapter 6: I actually found it quite interesting that Sora was hiding his feelings from everyone; it brings me back to his moments of sadness at the thought of Kairi in KH2. He was clearly troubled, but it was in silence and never discussed. Sora isn't just a one trick pony; he certainly is happy go-lucky... but that's because he pushes things that upset him aside a lot.

And that's something this chapter showcases which I find really interesting and enjoyable. I'm so glad to see the bond between Riku and Sora fairly rebuilt. Riku is really trying to be the best friend he has been for Sora (referencing what he does for Sora during Sora's sleep). Great job.:D
 

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Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 7 posted)

Haha, I had a little catching up to do this time around. Detailed and expressive with the characters from the chapter as always. Awesome job, Sephi.~

I am with KK on this one too. I have no clue who that Disney character could be though. :eek: I await you're next chapter to figure it out perhaps. :D
 
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