Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 68 posted)

[Sephiroth0812]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Ahh, it was getting too good!! Dx lol, but wow, riku actually got to talk to Terra.. Amazing!! but to see sora not being able to access his own heart.. that has to be worse! Dang you Forigen Darkness!! .... give us more, Sephy!! This is really getting good! Also, that creature... that was the Universed!! How?? they were destroyed alongside with Vantius by Ven!! My mind is really blown up! :O

Heheh, yea, I'm throwing you all more and more appetizers and foreboding hints for the first main story arc. *ggg*
Yep, Riku actually made contact with Terra's consciousness and some of the things he learned may also come in handy for Mickey if you remember the secret ending of Re: Coded where he and Yen Sid concluded that they still had no hint of Terra.

Sora being blocked out of his own heart is quite the shocker, isn't it? Now the reason why Roxas always failed to contact Sora (as shown in example in chapter 1) should be clear.
There will be more, the next two and a half chapter however from another perspective, as that growing darkness has not been able to remain completely undetected.

It was pretty obvious that these three creatures were Floods, weren't it? lol
Yes, the Unversed disappeared from the physical world in BBS after Ventus defeated Vanitas.
Unversed are however physical manifestations of negative emotions, and these three spawned through the darkness covering Riku's arm, using Riku's body as an intermediary to manifest in the physical world. That's all I'm gonna reveal about the issue right now.

Sora not being able to access his own heart is just...wow. I'm glad it isn't Roxas being vindictive, but that also means it's probably not Ansem. Unversed, though--hmm... That sounds suspiciously like a certain troll we've all come to know and love. It'll be interesting to see what that's all about.

It was awesome to see that Riku and Terra got to talk, even for just a minute. Great chapter, Sephiroth!

Quite the blow with Sora's heart, huh? I guess anyone can now guess how Sora feels about that.
Roxas may have every right to be pissed at his fate, but he isn't so stupid to blame Sora for anything, as he was asleep and not really involved with Roxas' "end" as an independent entity. Knowing Sora though, I bet he would have objected against sacrificing Roxas. It's funny that I planned all this way back in 2011 and yet DDD gives us something very similar around.
Ansem SoD in Sora's heart? Oww, that would mean very bad news especially for poor Ven with his crippled heart, right?
Yeah, these were undoubtly Unversed, and above I got into some details about how they were able to spawn.
As for the "troll", I won't give anything away prematurely, lol.

Wow seph, just read the story and loved it. This is the kind of story i have been looking for, a real detailed fanfic about how all the hearts connected to sora will be saved. I also like the sig, in other fanfics i read, Its all about sora this sora that, well i was wanting a story detailing all the characters, not just sora and riku. I also like how you have introduced the 3 weilders who befell their fates 12 years ago as of KH3D. I like how your story will give an opinion on how they will escape their fates. i like where the Sora/Roxas/Ven/Xion and the Riku/Terra is going XD. I think I might guess who kairi will be invovled with. The Ven/Roxas was extremely touching in a very non-yaoi way. I am up for a good yaoi, but this story would be completely ruined if it went beyond "Fluffy." Also good translating skills. Sry for rambling and keep up the good work.

Thank you friend. ^__^
I'm pleased I can give you exactly the kind of story you were searching for.

Most stories do indeed tend to focus more on the adventure aspect completely and handle most things regarding saving the other characters in one or two chapters.
Of course Sora is the main protagonist and Riku the deuteragonist, but that does not mean everything has to focus on them every time. It's one of the reasons this story is getting so incredibly long as I try to develop connections and relationships between characters on a deeper level in line with the actual theme of the KH series. Another reason is to give all important characters their fair share of the spotlight.

Then place your guess.
It's not really difficult indeed, lol.

Regarding the Roxas/Ven-bits (or Riku/Sora, Sora/Kairi or anything else), it is intended that way as I said above. The relationships I let the characters enter are in line with the main themes of KH itself and any affection as well as physical stuff happening is clearly not romantic or even sexual in nature. Of course readers are allowed to make their own interpretations, I would only ask to keep the original intention in mind despite all.

I think it's also pretty great that you're so open and tolerant about such stuff, as I have also no problem with yaoi (or yuri, or het as well for that manner) at all and I am also "up" to some good stories with that despite not being a shipper at all!
Of course the story would be "ruined" if it would go the romance/sexual way because it was never intended to be a story containing such things.
If I would want to write a story like that, I would certainly put a note in the first post to inform about something "pairing-esque" happening.

Thanks, although my beta at FF.net does occassionally find that I use much too sophisticated speech patterns especially with younger characters like Sora, *ggg*.

This isn't "rambling". It was a very pleasant review to read for me. ^__^
It was really enjoyable.

 

[Daxwren]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Heheh, yea, I'm throwing you all more and more appetizers and foreboding hints for the first main story arc. *ggg*
Yep, Riku actually made contact with Terra's consciousness and some of the things he learned may also come in handy for Mickey if you remember the secret ending of Re: Coded where he and Yen Sid concluded that they still had no hint of Terra.

Sora being blocked out of his own heart is quite the shocker, isn't it? Now the reason why Roxas always failed to contact Sora (as shown in example in chapter 1) should be clear.
There will be more, the next two and a half chapter however from another perspective, as that growing darkness has not been able to remain completely undetected.

It was pretty obvious that these three creatures were Floods, weren't it? lol
Yes, the Unversed disappeared from the physical world in BBS after Ventus defeated Vanitas.
Unversed are however physical manifestations of negative emotions, and these three spawned through the darkness covering Riku's arm, using Riku's body as an intermediary to manifest in the physical world. That's all I'm gonna reveal about the issue right now.



Quite the blow with Sora's heart, huh? I guess anyone can now guess how Sora feels about that.
Roxas may have every right to be pissed at his fate, but he isn't so stupid to blame Sora for anything, as he was asleep and not really involved with Roxas' "end" as an independent entity. Knowing Sora though, I bet he would have objected against sacrificing Roxas. It's funny that I planned all this way back in 2011 and yet DDD gives us something very similar around.
Ansem SoD in Sora's heart? Oww, that would mean very bad news especially for poor Ven with his crippled heart, right?
Yeah, these were undoubtly Unversed, and above I got into some details about how they were able to spawn.
As for the "troll", I won't give anything away prematurely, lol.



Thank you friend. ^__^
I'm pleased I can give you exactly the kind of story you were searching for.

Most stories do indeed tend to focus more on the adventure aspect completely and handle most things regarding saving the other characters in one or two chapters.
Of course Sora is the main protagonist and Riku the deuteragonist, but that does not mean everything has to focus on them every time. It's one of the reasons this story is getting so incredibly long as I try to develop connections and relationships between characters on a deeper level in line with the actual theme of the KH series. Another reason is to give all important characters their fair share of the spotlight.

Then place your guess.
It's not really difficult indeed, lol.

Regarding the Roxas/Ven-bits (or Riku/Sora, Sora/Kairi or anything else), it is intended that way as I said above. The relationships I let the characters enter are in line with the main themes of KH itself and any affection as well as physical stuff happening is clearly not romantic or even sexual in nature. Of course readers are allowed to make their own interpretations, I would only ask to keep the original intention in mind despite all.

I think it's also pretty great that you're so open and tolerant about such stuff, as I have also no problem with yaoi (or yuri, or het as well for that manner) at all and I am also "up" to some good stories with that despite not being a shipper at all!
Of course the story would be "ruined" if it would go the romance/sexual way because it was never intended to be a story containing such things.
If I would want to write a story like that, I would certainly put a note in the first post to inform about something "pairing-esque" happening.

Thanks, although my beta at FF.net does occassionally find that I use much too sophisticated speech patterns especially with younger characters like Sora, *ggg*.

This isn't "rambling". It was a very pleasant review to read for me. ^__^
It was really enjoyable.

Thanks and what I meant by the pairings is how sora

Spoiler Show

save ven/Roxas/Xion and riku saves terra, not pairings.

thanks for leaving feedback to my feedback (XD). And as you right this what's going to happen, just like everyone else you are good at keeping suspense. Curse you keep this amazing masterpiece going.

 

[Roxie1563]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Yeah.. arrr, put the new chapter up, Sephly!! lol, but when's the next chapter going to be up? I'm just curious so I can be on when it is up and running.

You said something about Kairi's turn, to be exact, right? How imporant is it for her to be part of something much larger than she, Sora, and Riku thinks?

 

[Sephiroth0812]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Thanks and what I meant by the pairings is how sora

Spoiler Show

save ven/Roxas/Xion and riku saves terra, not pairings.

thanks for leaving feedback to my feedback (XD). And as you right this what's going to happen, just like everyone else you are good at keeping suspense. Curse you keep this amazing masterpiece going.

Ah yes, alrighty. The fluffy close friendship stuff will nonetheless remain and I also plan to forge some connections/friendships between characters that haven't yet met in the games.

I've got to practice this creating suspense thing, lol, but it seems I'm already decent with it.
As stated in the first post of the thread I actually write this story quite some chapters in advance, although the release schedule has to yield to how fast my beta reader is, lol.

Yeah.. arrr, put the new chapter up, Sephly!! lol, but when's the next chapter going to be up? I'm just curious so I can be on when it is up and running.

You said something about Kairi's turn, to be exact, right? How imporant is it for her to be part of something much larger than she, Sora, and Riku thinks?

Could it be that you're a tad impatient, *ggg*?
The normal release schedule is usually one chapter every second week in order to give people time to read the current chapter and also my beta reader to work in corrections.
Right now she has busy times ahead in RL so I don't know when exactly chapter 28 will be available, if everything goes correct without delays, the next chapter would be put up either on the 15th or 16th September.

Yeah, Kairi is badly neglected in the actual games in terms of development despite being the "main female protagonist", so I went about to change that.
She will gain some importance over the course of the story and interact more with the other original characters as well as some Disney and FF ones.

 

[Roxie1563]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Ah yes, alrighty. The fluffy close friendship stuff will nonetheless remain and I also plan to forge some connections/friendships between characters that haven't yet met in the games.

I've got to practice this creating suspense thing, lol, but it seems I'm already decent with it.
As stated in the first post of the thread I actually write this story quite some chapters in advance, although the release schedule has to yield to how fast my beta reader is, lol.



Could it be that you're a tad impatient, *ggg*?
The normal release schedule is usually one chapter every second week in order to give people time to read the current chapter and also my beta reader to work in corrections.
Right now she has busy times ahead in RL so I don't know when exactly chapter 28 will be available, if everything goes correct without delays, the next chapter would be put up either on the 15th or 16th September.

Yeah, Kairi is badly neglected in the actual games in terms of development despite being the "main female protagonist", so I went about to change that.
She will gain some importance over the course of the story and interact more with the other original characters as well as some Disney and FF ones.

Lol, maybe I am little impatient, but that's because your story is hooked! haha.

I see.. so, it seems Kairi is going be more important as the story goes, huh? I gotcha.

 

[Daxwren]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Who isn't impatient -chuckles- my mind is saying "make him post it somehow, even if you have to kill him and steal the story (not really about the killing, was a light humored joke.) while my heart is saying "it will take time for a masterpiece to blossom, no story,movie, etc. become a masterpiece overnight, just be patient, be nice to the fans and make new friends (still jealous bout your YGO card translation though grrr.) the heart is what I usually listen too, its guides you to your proper dest. In life. As sora/ Ventus always say," My bonds with my friends are my power."

 

[Roxie1563]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

I agree; Sora, Ven, Roxas, and Xion, Vanitius, too, are part of each other.. I do hope Sephly can put it up soon so we can know what's happening next, lol. But it takes time since N.Rain is currently reading the new Chapter, though.

 

[D.D.D]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Sorry it took me so long to review, Sephi! I've been so busy with school and plotting my own fic that I kept forgetting to. But I did read it the day you posted. I usually do, it just takes me a while to get to reviewing your piece with each update.

Anyways, this chapter is just as great as the last. The sleeping moment with Sora was the most memorable. Being shut out of your own heart probably sucks pretty bad. That same dark, mysterious aura keeps appearing, too. Is it a physical manifestation of something within Riku and Sora's hearts? Or was it planted there or did it stain their hearts from something else?

The torment Sora feels is another great aspect of the story. I think that the way you portray it is amazing; all the grief and sadness feels so real and so genuine, almost as if it was coming straight from the games itself.

More Terra and Riku interaction is always a good thing. Seriously, that's my most awaited part of KH3. That, and the subject of Vanitas.

Are you going to introduce Vanitas in the story? Or have you already? Sorry if you have and I just forgot (I'm bad with remembering stuff, lol). I remember from the thread I made about his potential choices in KH3. You said you thought he wouldn't betray Xehanort, correct? If you haven't introduced him already and are going to, are you going to add a unique twist with him or is he going to just be more of a background character?

Oh, btw, random question, but what are your favorite characters to write for? I have a feeling you'll say Ven.

Anyways, this was another great chapter, and I very much look forward to the next.

 

[Sephiroth0812]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Lol, maybe I am little impatient, but that's because your story is hooked! haha.

I see.. so, it seems Kairi is going be more important as the story goes, huh? I gotcha.

Heh, believe me I'm happy that my story can hook up people like that and I do try to maintain a steady release schedule.
I do however also think about readers who can't read and comment right away on a new entry like D.D.D. below or November Rain, KingdomKey or Kiwi+.
That's why I like to keep some time between releases to attend to comments, reviews and possible questions as well as put not too much pressure on the proofreading.

Yes, that she will, not necessarily in taking on Xehanort in an one vs one duel or blast Xemnas into Oblivion by becoming a second Xena, Warrior Princess, but she will become an important piece in the overall puzzle who does make some meaningful contributions to the storyline.

Who isn't impatient -chuckles- my mind is saying "make him post it somehow, even if you have to kill him and steal the story (not really about the killing, was a light humored joke.) while my heart is saying "it will take time for a masterpiece to blossom, no story,movie, etc. become a masterpiece overnight, just be patient, be nice to the fans and make new friends (still jealous bout your YGO card translation though grrr.) the heart is what I usually listen too, its guides you to your proper dest. In life. As sora/ Ventus always say," My bonds with my friends are my power."

Well, if you would want to kill me, you'll never get the continuation right? Stealing the story also won't help since you do not have the actual script to how the story will play out, hahaha. ;P
So it's pretty good that you listen more to your heart, lol, as the proposal of your mind wasn't really thought through, I would say. *ggg*.

What a funny guy...^__^
(no sarcasm intended).

I agree; Sora, Ven, Roxas, and Xion, Vanitius, too, are part of each other.. I do hope Sephly can put it up soon so we can know what's happening next, lol. But it takes time since N.Rain is currently reading the new Chapter, though.

I already gave you the intended schedule, and I hope that I can adhere to it. The next chapter would then be due to arrive at either the 15th or 16th of September.
As you noticed though, Nov has the current chapter for proofreading and much to do in Real Life as well, so we'll have to wait if she manages to finish it until the end of the week.

Sorry it took me so long to review, Sephi! I've been so busy with school and plotting my own fic that I kept forgetting to. But I did read it the day you posted. I usually do, it just takes me a while to get to reviewing your piece with each update.

Anyways, this chapter is just as great as the last. The sleeping moment with Sora was the most memorable. Being shut out of your own heart probably sucks pretty bad. That same dark, mysterious aura keeps appearing, too. Is it a physical manifestation of something within Riku and Sora's hearts? Or was it planted there or did it stain their hearts from something else?

The torment Sora feels is another great aspect of the story. I think that the way you portray it is amazing; all the grief and sadness feels so real and so genuine, almost as if it was coming straight from the games itself.

More Terra and Riku interaction is always a good thing. Seriously, that's my most awaited part of KH3. That, and the subject of Vanitas.

Are you going to introduce Vanitas in the story? Or have you already? Sorry if you have and I just forgot (I'm bad with remembering stuff, lol). I remember from the thread I made about his potential choices in KH3. You said you thought he wouldn't betray Xehanort, correct? If you haven't introduced him already and are going to, are you going to add a unique twist with him or is he going to just be more of a background character?

Oh, btw, random question, but what are your favorite characters to write for? I have a feeling you'll say Ven.

Anyways, this was another great chapter, and I very much look forward to the next.

Heheh, it's all ok. That's why I stress so often about the two week-release schedule. I know some people simply don't have the time to review right away.
Some may even want to read the piece more than once as well.

Glad you like it. Yea, your consciousness having denied access to its own heart is a creepy thing, isn't it? One shall probably even take a bit time to think carefully who or what could even be capable of such a feat.
That dark, mysterious aura which is called the "foreign darkness" by Riku is in fact indeed a manifestation of something, something from Riku's heart to be precise. Without spoiling anything I can say that the black wall that prevents Sora from entering his heart is not caused by that aura, but it was created by something that is related to the aura by a deep connection.

The "harbingers of torment" as they were called since chapter 6 is a sort of a tricky thing since Sora does not always feel them despite the tormented ones being in constant peril. There is an explanation for it all but I won't spoil future developments.
It is clear though that it can severely hamper Sora's mental state and his functioning in the physical world.
I'm happy though that I can portray it as real and genuine to the readers so it can almost be felt. It may serve also to give a better understanding on why Sora becomes more and more desperate to finally do something while Riku struggles to keep things from heating up too much with his rational thinking.

The Terra/Riku-bits were cut woefully short by the foreign darkness, weren't they? But at least Riku managed to lift Terra's spirit a bit and just by contacting his consciousness briefly Riku already has very important information to deliver for Yen Sid and Mickey.

As on the subject of Vanitas, well, I guess you did read the part in the current chapter where Riku's body was used as an intermediary to spawn three flood-Unversed? And these trying to reach Sora before Riku destroyed them?
As I said to the others already, I won't elaborate too much on it now because I don't want to reveal too much, but these issues should give readers something to think about.

Regarding my theories towards Vanitas in that KH3 thread, these are based on the canon material we have learned from Birth By Sleep and the new stuff we learned in Dream Drop Distance, especially regarding Xehanort's heart-splitting powers and advanced possession abilities regarding his thirteen vessels.
My story does not yield to most of the stuff revealed in Dream Drop Distance due to be planned way earlier, despite some heavy similarities happening in regard to hearts, but such stuff was already subtly hinted in KH2, Days and Coded.
So, going back to Vanitas, if he's included, he will certainly not be just a background character, that I can already say without spoiling anything.

Heh, while Ven is surely among the favorite characters I like writing for, he has to share the place with several others, especially Riku, Roxas, Braig and Isa as well as Sora.
I am also eager though to write more about characters like Naminé, Kairi, Terra, Aqua and Xehanort. The big advantage of such a huge story aiming to make good use of most characters for me is that I can actually think myself into each of them and write the parts focusing on them with nearly the same fervor.
I can even get some fun writing characters I normally do not like all that much, like Pete or even that idiot Demyx, because they are part of the universe after all.

Get ready for some Kairi in the next two and a half chapters. ;D

 

[Roxie1563]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Woo! Can't wait for the next 2 and half chapter of Kairi! This is going to be interesting.

 

[D.D.D]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Heheh, it's all ok. That's why I stress so often about the two week-release schedule. I know some people simply don't have the time to review right away.
Some may even want to read the piece more than once as well.

Ok, that's good. I've actually been considering re-reading what's been posted so far, since my memory's a little foggy with it (especially earlier chapters that I read long ago). Maybe I will, and I'll write an overall impression. Most of it will probably be what I've already said, but I'm sure you wouldn't mind another detailed review of your amazing work.

Glad you like it. Yea, your consciousness having denied access to its own heart is a creepy thing, isn't it? One shall probably even take a bit time to think carefully who or what could even be capable of such a feat.
That dark, mysterious aura which is called the "foreign darkness" by Riku is in fact indeed a manifestation of something, something from Riku's heart to be precise. Without spoiling anything I can say that the black wall that prevents Sora from entering his heart is not caused by that aura, but it was created by something that is related to the aura by a deep connection.

I'm going to assume that foreign darkness is either a fragment of Vanitas, Ansem SoD, or something that affected Riku's heart after he

Spoiler Show

dove into Sora's heart and got rid of that nightmare armor thing.

At least, those are the only sources I can think of. Hmmm...I'll have to ponder over this some more *strokes beard*

The "harbingers of torment" as they were called since chapter 6 is a sort of a tricky thing since Sora does not always feel them despite the tormented ones being in constant peril. There is an explanation for it all but I won't spoil future developments.
It is clear though that it can severely hamper Sora's mental state and his functioning in the physical world.
I'm happy though that I can portray it as real and genuine to the readers so it can almost be felt. It may serve also to give a better understanding on why Sora becomes more and more desperate to finally do something while Riku struggles to keep things from heating up too much with his rational thinking.

Another interesting point I'll have to keep in mind while reading future chapters. *strokes beard once more*. Hopefully it will not affect Sora at the worst time. Like....if he's fighting Xehanort and is affected by the torment and is unable to run away?

But that's also good that you highlight the differences between Sora and Riku; if someone's hurting, Sora jumps in headfirst without a second thought. Riku sits back a little bit and contemplates on how to go about it.

The Terra/Riku-bits were cut woefully short by the foreign darkness, weren't they? But at least Riku managed to lift Terra's spirit a bit and just by contacting his consciousness briefly Riku already has very important information to deliver for Yen Sid and Mickey.

Poor Riku and Terra. All their bro moments get cut short. I wonder how the two will respond when Riku tells them?

As on the subject of Vanitas, well, I guess you did read the part in the current chapter where Riku's body was used as an intermediary to spawn three flood-Unversed? And these trying to reach Sora before Riku destroyed them?
As I said to the others already, I won't elaborate too much on it now because I don't want to reveal too much, but these issues should give readers something to think about.

Regarding my theories towards Vanitas in that KH3 thread, these are based on the canon material we have learned from Birth By Sleep and the new stuff we learned in Dream Drop Distance, especially regarding Xehanort's heart-splitting powers and advanced possession abilities regarding his thirteen vessels.
My story does not yield to most of the stuff revealed in Dream Drop Distance due to be planned way earlier, despite some heavy similarities happening in regard to hearts, but such stuff was already subtly hinted in KH2, Days and Coded.
So, going back to Vanitas, if he's included, he will certainly not be just a background character, that I can already say without spoiling anything.

Not to pressure you into using Vanitas or anything, but...

Heh, while Ven is surely among the favorite characters I like writing for, he has to share the place with several others, especially Riku, Roxas, Braig and Isa as well as Sora.
I am also eager though to write more about characters like Naminé, Kairi, Terra, Aqua and Xehanort. The big advantage of such a huge story aiming to make good use of most characters for me is that I can actually think myself into each of them and write the parts focusing on them with nearly the same fervor.
I can even get some fun writing characters I normally do not like all that much, like Pete or even that idiot Demyx, because they are part of the universe after all.

Get ready for some Kairi in the next two and a half chapters. ;D

Yeah, that's also another good point about writing in third person; the fact that it's not just from one person's perspective. I often ask myself what I'd rather work with, and when it's KH fanfics, I almost always choose third person. Writing as if I were Sora feels awkward and a little harder. For me, at least.

Poor Demyx. He'll just always be stupid. Dopey and cute, but stupid.

Yes! Kairi spotlight! Something I never see in the actual games. Like I said before, a lot of fanfic writers ignore her as much as the games do, so it's good to see you giving her some attention.

Also, I have a question that only another KH fanfic writer could answer: do you think I should write Sora more like his KH1 or KH2 self? I can't decide, since I like aspects of both. Maybe I should just try to combine them?

 

[KingdomKey]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

I've finally caught back up with this fic! xD

I was not expecting Riku to speak to Terra. I wonder where that darkness came from and the unversed were quite a surprise. I can't help but wonder if this is foreshadowing something to come in the next chapter. I feel bad for Sora. Not being able to access his heart and speak to Roxas. Looking forward to the next chapter, Seph!

 

[Lanydx reborn]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Okay I'm re reading this again and so far it's really good. I'll let you know what I fully think of it when I get caught up. I'm real sorry I haven't been checking the up dates. I know how that feels.

 

[Daxwren]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Thats the whole point behind my hearts vs mind. The minds thinks extremely rashly before the heart can even get its input, which is why thoughts and actions tend to be more impulsive while feelings make you stop and think more rationally, not on instinct. And what do you meant by I'm a funny guy no sarcasm intended ;p I demand answers XD,but another theory I have is you can't restore Ventus without Vanitas coming back since Vanitas is Vens darkness given human form and I think ........ That Roxas is in fact Vens nobody, not sora's. So what does anyone think?

 

[Sephiroth0812]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Woo! Can't wait for the next 2 and half chapter of Kairi! This is going to be interesting.

Heheh, yep, let's hope Nov manages it. ^__^

Ok, that's good. I've actually been considering re-reading what's been posted so far, since my memory's a little foggy with it (especially earlier chapters that I read long ago). Maybe I will, and I'll write an overall impression. Most of it will probably be what I've already said, but I'm sure you wouldn't mind another detailed review of your amazing work.

It does not cost anything but time, lol. And who knows, maybe reading it again makes you realize some more subtle things that may be worth theorizing upon.
Of course not, I'm always happy about feedback. ^__^

I'm going to assume that foreign darkness is either a fragment of Vanitas, Ansem SoD, or something that affected Riku's heart after he

Spoiler Show

dove into Sora's heart and got rid of that nightmare armor thing.

At least, those are the only sources I can think of. Hmmm...I'll have to ponder over this some more *strokes beard*

Hmhm, I'll not go further on the first two, but the DDD Spoiler can safely be ignored as my story does not incorporate the stuff that happened in DDD. ;D.

Another interesting point I'll have to keep in mind while reading future chapters. *strokes beard once more*. Hopefully it will not affect Sora at the worst time. Like....if he's fighting Xehanort and is affected by the torment and is unable to run away?

But that's also good that you highlight the differences between Sora and Riku; if someone's hurting, Sora jumps in headfirst without a second thought. Riku sits back a little bit and contemplates on how to go about it.

Well, it already does affect him in another way which I can't disclose yet, but I'll say it won't be very pretty.
Your voiced concern is shared by Riku however which will also become an important point later on in regards to the "black wall".

Yeah, although one has of course also to keep in mind that Riku has a certain distance to it. He knows something is wrong, people are badly hurt and wants to help, but he isn't affected directly by it.
Sora on the other hand, although not constantly, directly feels the pain of the ones connected to him, much like the issues happening in DDD like with the Sora/Roxas-scene (I'm still astonished how similar DDD turned out in some areas to my own planned plot from 2011), only a magnitude stronger and actually causing Sora physical pain (without actually damaging his body though).

Poor Riku and Terra. All their bro moments get cut short. I wonder how the two will respond when Riku tells them?

Yep, there's someone or something interfering...no wonder Riku was pretty pissed. <__<
Lol, that's a good question. Imagine that Yen Sid and Mickey were searching for a clue about Terra for ten years and found nothing and then Riku marches having more info from one dream/dive to the heart than they gathered in that time period.

Not to pressure you into using Vanitas or anything, but...

Hahaha, no worries, there cannot be any pressure given because the story is already fleshed out and needs only to be written out.
My current private status is chapter 47 finished.

Yeah, that's also another good point about writing in third person; the fact that it's not just from one person's perspective. I often ask myself what I'd rather work with, and when it's KH fanfics, I almost always choose third person. Writing as if I were Sora feels awkward and a little harder. For me, at least.

Poor Demyx. He'll just always be stupid. Dopey and cute, but stupid.

Yes! Kairi spotlight! Something I never see in the actual games. Like I said before, a lot of fanfic writers ignore her as much as the games do, so it's good to see you giving her some attention.

Also, I have a question that only another KH fanfic writer could answer: do you think I should write Sora more like his KH1 or KH2 self? I can't decide, since I like aspects of both. Maybe I should just try to combine them?

Writing in third person also gives the reader a broader overview over the entire scenery and situations. Personal feelings and actions of characters can still be conveyed through thought processes and/or decribed body language.
I'm the same, that's why I tend to avoid first person writing when I am not writing about myself or an self-created character (which I rarely use).

EDIT:
I don't know why but I always failed to perceive Demyx as cute, to me, he's just really annoying. In KH2 he was close to completely pointless and popped up in the most inconvenient times not only getting on Sora's but also on my nerves. He was even too stupid to get his point across both times and didn't get the hint when Donald told him to move aside because they were in a hurry to help Leon and the others in the battle of the 1000 Heartless.

It was one of the first goals I set when I planned out the plot, that Kairi would not be pushed aside.

Combining would be the most appropriate thing I'll say, as that's what I also try to do for Sora. Just like I also try to combine somehow BBS-Lea and Days/KH2-Axel into the "present"-Lea we see in the story.

I've finally caught back up with this fic! xD

I was not expecting Riku to speak to Terra. I wonder where that darkness came from and the unversed were quite a surprise. I can't help but wonder if this is foreshadowing something to come in the next chapter. I feel bad for Sora. Not being able to access his heart and speak to Roxas. Looking forward to the next chapter, Seph!

Yay, welcome back KingdomKey. ^__^

I threw quite a wrench with the Riku and Terra parts, didn't I? I bet most people would have expected to see Sora implement his "plan" he talked to Riku about before.
The Unversed were intended as a surprise and foreboding uneasiness. It is indeed foreshadowing something, it only isn't in the next chapter as the next two and a half chapters deal mainly with Kairi and her beginning involvement in the whole "connection-stuff". The title of the story does have a deeper meaning after all. ;D
The issue with Sora's heart is intended to somewhat creep out, I admit.

Okay I'm re reading this again and so far it's really good. I'll let you know what I fully think of it when I get caught up. I'm real sorry I haven't been checking the up dates. I know how that feels.

Oh hey, another returner. Welcome back. ^__^
RL often gets in the way, doesn't it?

Thats the whole point behind my hearts vs mind. The minds thinks extremely rashly before the heart can even get its input, which is why thoughts and actions tend to be more impulsive while feelings make you stop and think more rationally, not on instinct. And what do you meant by I'm a funny guy no sarcasm intended ;p I demand answers XD,but another theory I have is you can't restore Ventus without Vanitas coming back since Vanitas is Vens darkness given human form and I think ........ That Roxas is in fact Vens nobody, not sora's. So what does anyone think?

That's true but it can also be the other way around when the mind warns about something the heart is about to do because it defies any logic, lol.
I meant exactly what I said, *ggg*. Your demeanor is pretty funny to read. XD
Well, Ventus destroyed Vanitas at the end of BBS more or less and as long as his connection with Sora is intact he should be independent from Vanitas. It also depends on what really happened with Vanitas after the X-blade shattered, we don't know if his dark heart was absorbed by Ven's (which I would doubt happened willingly on Ven's part as he never wanted to fuse with him), cast out and was as heavily injured as Ven's or if it disappeared into the RoD or something.
We got confirmed in Dream Drop Distance that hearts can grow and be formed (it was hinted already in BBS itself, but also Coded and KH2), so it is entirely possible that Ventus' heart could be re-formed and grown far enough so he wouldn't need Vanitas' heart at all anymore.
You're going with your second "theory" against facts already confirmed multiple times, y'know? It has been made clear more than once by now that Roxas was born as Sora's Nobody, which is also reflected in Roxas' battle stance and style. Not to mention it is impossible for Ventus to even have a Nobody. He didn't lose his heart to darkness (which is impossible since it's pure light) and his body is still safe and sound in the Chamber of Waking as we were shown in the very last scene of Dream Drop Distance. A Nobody is made of the body and soul of a person and Ven's body and soul weren't involved in the whole process at all.
Roxas has nothing from Ventus except the appearance and the second Keyblade.

 

[Daxwren]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

True that, but Namine breaks all those rules as well so why not and tech. Sora didn't lose his heart, he sacrificed his to give Kairi's back and I wouldn't put it past NOMURA to "change" the story a little bit. I do agree with the sora losing his heart, but as Ventus's heart was fused with Sora's when the process happened, I have changed my theory to its a little bit of both, because throughout 358 (which I have been replaying) I notice Roxas has some of Ven's traits that sora doesnt have as well as Sora. Somewhere at some point it was confirmed that Roxas had emotions because of Vens heart so you never know. I was thinking of Vanitas as the same process as a heart and nobody reuniting, so I don't know, can't wait til this Sat. So excited. People say I have a very colorful personality. I find it easy to chat here (unlike neoseeker) and here is a place I can cool off (made a very regretful trade in my card game today .

 

[Lanydx reborn]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Okay I finally caught up on everything, and this is fantastic. The fight with Aqua and Mr. Winged Angel, the Sora, Riku, Kairi bits, you put in Betrix(I'm spelling that wrong I know.) Now I can't wait for the rest.

 

[Neko]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

I finally read through the 14 pages of this thread. XD
I have not read any fanfiction in years, but the thread title caught my eye, so I decided to give it a try. I absolutely love your writing! I think you do a great job, especially considering English is not your first language. I did see some grammar errors, but they were small and became less in later chapters. You write battles scenes amazingly. I think those are so hard to write. Your writing has also vastly improved since the prologue, at least I think so.

You also capture the characters' personalities spot on. My favorites are Riku, Braig, and Sora. I like how you have included so many characters. It can be hard to keep up with that many, especially when you are switching between different locations fairly constantly. I love how emotionally evoking your writing is. It has brought me from laughter to the brink of tears. My favorite parts so far have been chapters 25 and 26 along with Aqua and Sephiroth. Brilliant job so far! I will look forward to reading more of the chapters to come. <3

 

[Daxwren]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

Do we get chapter 28 today Sephiroth0812? I can't wait. xp

 

[Sephiroth0812]

Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 27 posted)

True that, but Namine breaks all those rules as well so why not and tech. Sora didn't lose his heart, he sacrificed his to give Kairi's back and I wouldn't put it past NOMURA to "change" the story a little bit. I do agree with the sora losing his heart, but as Ventus's heart was fused with Sora's when the process happened, I have changed my theory to its a little bit of both, because throughout 358 (which I have been replaying) I notice Roxas has some of Ven's traits that sora doesnt have as well as Sora. Somewhere at some point it was confirmed that Roxas had emotions because of Vens heart so you never know. I was thinking of Vanitas as the same process as a heart and nobody reuniting, so I don't know, can't wait til this Sat. So excited. People say I have a very colorful personality. I find it easy to chat here (unlike neoseeker) and here is a place I can cool off (made a very regretful trade in my card game today .

Naminé is also a being that is even more special than Roxas because she literally has no element a Nobody would normally have, while Roxas did have Sora's original body and the soul associated with it. Sora's heart was not only lost but also lost to darkness (the dark Keyblade opened up his heart to darkness), which is the prerequisite for a Nobody even to form.
While it's true that Nomura has changed around some more vague story bits or parts of the narrative that were only mentioned in one game, Roxas' nature is certainly not one of those as it was confirmed by now in more than three games and at least two Ultimanias that Roxas is Sora's Nobody, just like it was confirmed that Roxas and Ventus are two completely different entities, which some fans still fail (or refuse) to believe.
Which traits of Ven does Roxas have? I never noticed any influence from Ven at all, there's much that Roxas developed for himself as his own personality as well as several bits from Sora I could decipher. But in regards of Ven's (indirect, since he sleeps) influence I could only confirm Roxas' appearance (duh, that's the most obvious one) and the very rapid growth of Roxas' own identity (which I suspect is Ven's heart speeding up the forming of Roxas' own "heart-bud").
Vanitas is a tricky case since he has his own heart. It may have been ripped out of Ven's but both hearts could be formed and therefore be "completed". Nomura even foreshadowed the whole thing about growing hearts we learnt about in DDD in the BBS Ultimania when he explained that although Sora helped Ventus to awake, his heart was not fully formed (aka still injured) when Xehanort brought him to Eraqus (glazed eyes, highly unresponsive behaviour). It wasn't until later during the four years until BBS started that Ven's heart was fully formed again due to Aqua's, Terra's and Eraqus' care.

Okay I finally caught up on everything, and this is fantastic. The fight with Aqua and Mr. Winged Angel, the Sora, Riku, Kairi bits, you put in Betrix(I'm spelling that wrong I know.) Now I can't wait for the rest.

Heh, thanks friend. I'm doing my very best to keep that quality up.

I finally read through the 14 pages of this thread. XD
I have not read any fanfiction in years, but the thread title caught my eye, so I decided to give it a try. I absolutely love your writing! I think you do a great job, especially considering English is not your first language. I did see some grammar errors, but they were small and became less in later chapters. You write battles scenes amazingly. I think those are so hard to write. Your writing has also vastly improved since the prologue, at least I think so.

You also capture the characters' personalities spot on. My favorites are Riku, Braig, and Sora. I like how you have included so many characters. It can be hard to keep up with that many, especially when you are switching between different locations fairly constantly. I love how emotionally evoking your writing is. It has brought me from laughter to the brink of tears. My favorite parts so far have been chapters 25 and 26 along with Aqua and Sephiroth. Brilliant job so far! I will look forward to reading more of the chapters to come. <3

Oh hello there new reader, nice to have you around.
Yea, sometimes I am astonished myself how popular this story became. 14 pages already...wow.
Thanks for all that praise, makes me really happy. ^__^
Battle scenes are for me the second most difficult to pull off. The most difficult for me are the emotional/dramatic bits because of the delicate balance that has to be kept so it isn't too few or too much emotion as well as to keep in mind the involved characters personalities so I don't make them too OOC.
I certainly hope that I got better since the prologue, haha, if there would be no improvement at all there would be something wrong with my ability to learn. *ggg*

I've already stated my favorites a bit earlier, yet Braig is really someone who stands out because he's ridiculously funny but also "evil" and ruthless. It's quite satisfying to write him.
As it's a primary premise of the story the many characters will continue to be addressed and there are of course still some who have not been introduced yet, that's what mainly contibuted to the enormous length of the story but I would not have it any other way. ^___^

The switching between locations is of course also a result of having that many characters, but I hope it can be followed nonetheless.
If the plot brings forth that range of the emotions I'm doing something right, as I do want the sad and dramatic parts to have some counterbalance with slight comedy even if it is mainly a drama/adventure story.

Do we get chapter 28 today Sephiroth0812? I can't wait. xp

Well, as it stands right now I have not heard anything from November Rain the whole week. So there is no beta-read chapter available for me to post right now...;__;.
There are only two options now: I can either wait until I get the fixed version or, if the demand is really high, post the raw version as a tentative release.