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Kingdom Hearts, Dawn of Darkness



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cloudsblazingfur

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"No Sora, I wont let you do this". Kairi Grabs Sora's arm.
"Danm it Kairi, let me go, this is something I have to do, not for
you, not for Riku, but for me"."Sora"says Riku, "you really don't
have to stay, but if it is what your hearts truly says, then stay".
"Thank tou Riku", replys Sora. At that moment Kairi releases Sora's
arm and sora fades away into chaos, despair, and the red dawn of
darkness.



Well i dont know if i should do more like the rest of the story,
this is a peice of the end....please reply and tell me if i should.

ps-i know blood alchemist..lol
 

Heartless.

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Well......its not really a fan fic. What is it supposed to be anyway? Drama?:/
 

Bear

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Well, since you're my friend, I'll begin ripping it apart. Gently :]

>Is it supposed to be this short?
>What exactly is happening?
>Where are they?
>When does the story take place?

For me, it was a random skit. I'm sure anyone else who read it felt slightly different but eh.. Anyway, I'll PM you and try to give you some idea's. Meanwhile, when you get the chance, read this - http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=52870 - It's Zetsumi's Guide to Grammar. I might help you a little.

Also, not only was it short, but it lacked description, so try to be a little more literate. I'm PMing you with a new version of this, to give you an idea. : D
 
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