Link to part 1;
http://forums.khinsider.com/fanfiction/164771-kingdom-hearts-358-2-days-parody-script.html
Part 2;
Ian; Anthony! You may have killed me with a bow and arrow and poison in Food Battle 2011, but me and my Pimk-Frosted-Sprinkled-Donuts want another go!
Anthony; You mean "My Pink-Frosted-Sprinkled-Donuts and !"!
Ian; Don't F@&king correct me!
Anthony; Whatever! There's no way in the eight levels of hell-
Ian; Nine, Anthony! There's nine level of Hell!
Anthony; Shut up! My new favorite food, Sea-Salt Ice Cream, Is gonna kick your donut's Pink-Frosted-Sprinkled Ass!
Ian; Then let's do this sh@&! Omnomnom!
Voice; Food Battle 2012, coming... eventually. I think.
Acelegin; And now, for the episode thing!
day 14
Axel; Roxas! We're team up again. This is gonna be your first really-real mission.
Roxas; What about days 8-13?
Axel; Silly Roxas. Tutorials don't count as real missions. Now let's go brutally murder abunch of heartless in order to further our own shadowy agenda!
meanwhile
Xemnas; A proposal, eh? I didn't realize you were that committed.
Zexion; I am totally committed to this. And that's why I need a raise. Rings these days are so expensive, and most of my munny "mysteriously vanishes"...
Xemnas; Axel?
Zexion; Axel.
Xemnas; I'll have to talk to that guy.
phone rings
Zexion; Oh sorry, that's me. answers phone Hello?
Vexen; Hey dude! I just got a brand new bong, and Lexaeus is hookin' us up with an 80 sack! Where gonna get howwed up tonight!
Zexion; Um, dude, I'm in the superior's office. And you're on speaker.
Vexen; Oh sh@&!
Xemnas; Vexen, I would like you and Lexaeus to report to my office. NOW!!
elsewhere
Axel; Well, that was a fun mission. Let's go get some Ice cream!
Hayber; Hurry up, b*tches! Last one there buys us all Ice cream!
Pence; But I need my munny to buy potions for my sick mother!
Ollette; Don't worry, I get get lot's of munny from my fannboys-
Hayner; Like Acelegin!
Ollette; Yeah, like him. I'd be more than happy to pitch in.
Roxas; Who were those people?
Axel; They seem to be friends.
Raxas; What is, friends?
Axel; Friends are people who eat ice cream together.
Roxas; Does that make us friends?
Axel; Yes. Yes it does.
meanwhile
Hayner; I'm gonna kick your fat ass for that!
Pence; But it was an accident! I didn't mean to drop the ice cream!
Hayner; Bull Sh@&!
Pence; Please don't kill me! Who will care for my sick mother?
Ollette; My fanboys might help.
Hayner; Like Acelegin!
meanwhile, in the world that isn't a video game spoof...
Acelegin; Ugh, I need a break.
Mathaxsan; What's wrong? You're usually so good and making sh@& up as you go.
Acelegin; I don't know. I'm just not feelin' the flow.
Yuma; Haha! Zexal reference!
Slender Man; I know what'll cheer you up!
Acelegin; Please don't...
Slender Man; Come on and dance to the beat, wave your hands together, come feel the heat, forever and forever, listen and learn, it is time for prancin', Now I am here, with Slender Man Dancin'!
Acelegin; Stop it! You're being creepy! I mean like, creepier than you usually are.
day 15
Larxene; So what happened with Xemnas?
Zexion; He's gonna be relocating us to Castle Oblivion. Good news, there's no drug restriction there. It's gonna be the most enjoyable time-out ever.
Sa'i'x; Alright, I've got more mission's for you Roxas. Please note that not all of them are manditory and you're aloud to skip some-
Roxas; F@&k the mission explanation! Just point me in the direction of the sh@& you want me to kill!
Sa'i'x; Wow, violent much?
Zexion; Y'know, it's kinda your fault for assigning him all these brutal missions. I think it's starting to get to him. Why don't you give him some recon for a change. It'd be good for him.
Sa'i'x; Don't you f@&king tell me how to do my job!
Larxene; Dude, calm down.
Sa'i'X; Don't talk to me you f@&king c*nt whore slut tosser! I'll kill you and shove your f@&king limbs up your c*ck stocking boy-toys urethra!
Zexion; Axel! Axel, get over here! His Berserker Tourettes is acting up again!
Axel; Got it memorized!
Sa'i'x; Huh? What? Why are you all staring at me? Get back to work!
Zexion; Dafuq did you just do?
Axel; I can't really explain it, but it always seems to calm him down when I say that. That's why I use those words so often. Eventually it just kinda turned into a catchphrase.
Zexion; That is bizarrely convienient.
day 16
Xemnas; Alright, it seems like most of us are here, so we can begin. As most of you know, the three stoners are being moved to Castle Oblivion. However, I'd rather not leave them there alone, so I need someone to go keep an eye on them.
Xigbar; Not me.
Xaldin; Hell no!
Axel; I'd rather not.
Demyx; Too lazy.
Luxord; Nope.
Roxas; I aint going.
Xemnas; Wow, no one at this meeting was willing to volunteer.
Marlyuxia; (walks in) Hey guys, what did I miss?
Xemnas; Marly! I'm placing you in charge of Castle Oblivion!
Marluxia; Wait, What?
Xemnas; It's a unanimous vote, you have too go.
Marluxia; But I have plans this weekend!
Xaldin; Logging onto Slutload does not count as plans.
Marluxia; Yes it does!
Xaldin; No it doesn't.
Marluxia; Yes it- shut up!
day 17
Larxene; Xemnas, I want to go to Castle Oblivion!
Xemnas; Mwhy?
Larxene; I want to be with Zexy! We're soulmates!
Xemnas; I don't know...
Larxene; I'll do anything! I'll do your laundry, scrub your feet, punch Xaldin in the balls! I'll even call up Mathaxsan and tell her to visit!
Xemnas; Wait, what?
meanwhile, in real-life-land
Mathaxsan; Ace, did you ever get around to letting Xemnas know that I'm still alive?
Acelegin; There is a slight miniscule chance that it may or may not have slipped my mind...
Mathaxsan; So he still thinks I'm dead?
Acelegin; That is a distinct possibility, yes.
loud banging on door
Xemnas; Dammit Acelegin! Let me in! I need to see her! I will break this f@&king door down your G*d damn f@&king virgin son of a b*tch!
Acelegin; Oh f@&k! Quick, slendy, fetch me my magical gatling gun!
meanwhile
Sa'i'x; Axel, I need you to go to Castle Oblivion and kill Zexion.
Axel; Wait, what?
Sa'i'x; Kay thanks, bye.
Axel; What the hell just happened?
day 22
Axel; Yo dawg, I heard you liked mission's, so I put a mission inside your mission so that you can quest while you quest!
Roxas; Come again?
Axel; Hehe. You said "come".
Roxas; Why do I hang out with you?
later
Axel; So, I'm going to Castle Oblivion.
Roxas; Why?
Axel; 'Cuz Sa'i'x is an assh*le. Got it memorized?
Roxas; I'll keep that in mind.
Axel; Well, I gotta go pack. Later.
Roxas; Mkay. Wait, why does this stick say "WINNER"? Axel, come back!
Axel; Hehe. You said "come". (leaves)
Roxas; damn it
Day 23
Sa'i'x; Axel! I have reason to believe that Larxene and Marluxia are traitors. I need you to kill them too.
Axel; What makes you say that?
Sa'i'x; I read Marly's diary.
Axel; Why were you reading his diary?
Sa'i'x; It was on your bedside table.
Axel; I can explain that.
Sa'i'x; I think you see some one about your kleptomania.
Axel; I'm not a klepto!
Sa'i'x; Larxene's hairpins?
Axel; I swear to Acelegin's balls that they were a gift.
Sa'i'x; Xemnas's cutout of Mathaxsan?
Axel; I couldn't think of anything else to get Acelegin for his birthday.
Sa'i'x; Zexion's munny?
Axel; Wasn't me!
Sa'i'x; Lexaeus's weed?
Axel; That could've been anyone!
later
Sa'i'x; Axel left already. I'm pairing you with the only member of the organization who speaks less then you- Xion.
Roxas; Okay. Let's go!
day 24
Xigbar; Hey, who else is glad to be rid of thos annoying b*stards!
Demyx; Me!
Roxas; I kinda wish Axel were here. I have question's for him. Like what this "WINNER" stick means, and why I'm growing curly hairs all over my-
Demyx; Don't go there Roxas! There's a girl present.
Xigbar; What about you Poppet?
Roxas; Whose "Poppet"?
Xigbar; I'm referring to Xion.
Demyx; It's his thing.
Roxas; His "Thing?"
Demyx; Yeah. His thing. We all have a thing. Xigbar gives people nicknames, Xaldin's a c*ckblock, Vexen's a claustifobic scientis, Lexaeus is a drugdealer, Zexion's a nerd, Sa'i'x has a rare form of tourettes, Axel steals from everybody and their mothers, I'm a rockstar, Marluxia's a porn addict, Larxene's hot, You experience random what-nothing moments, and Xion... Well, I haven't figured out her thing yet.
later
Xion; R-Roxas...
Roxas; Whoa, you have vocal cords? I had n idea you were capable of speach.
Xion; Yes, I can talk.
Roxas; This reminds my of when I got my name...
flashback
Xemnas; From now on, you will be called Roxas.
Roxas; But I wanna be Jim.
Xemnas; NO! You will be called Roxas and you will like it!
Roxas; But-
Xemnas; I am the superior and you shall do as I command, b*tch!
day 25
Sa'i'x; Roxas! You and Xion must go destroy a pureblood heartless!
Roxas; But I thought the only ones who release hearts were the emblem heartless. Why do we need to kill a pureblood?
Sa'i'x; Because shut up!
Roxas; Axel was right, you are an assh*le.
later
Darkside; Roxas, come to the dark side of the farce!
Roxas; No!
Darkside; Why not?
Roxas; 'Cuz I don't feel like it right now.
Darkside; You suck.
Roxas; Ouch! You made me drop my keyblade!
Xion; I can use it! Haidouken!
Darkside; Oh no, I'm dead.
Roxas; That was b*tchin'. This calls for brainfreeze!
Xion; Why is this Ice cream salty? I'm pretty sure Ice cream isn't supposed to taste salty.
Roxas; I don't know. I'm almost used to it.
Acelegin; That's it for now. Kingdom Hearts RE-COM Parody Script, coming... eventually. I think.
Before I wrap up this thread, I have something I wanna share. My DS is kinda broke right now, so in order to get the events of the game right, I watch a tutorial on youtube. While watching, I took some notes so I wouldn't forget anything important. For the lulz, I have decided to post the notes I took in addition the script. enjoy the random;
Day 14
mission with Axel
1st real mission
Collect Hearts
2nd mission with Axel
Moar Ice Cream
Appearance of HOP
friends liek ice cream
Pence drops ice cream
day 15
Moar Missions
day 16
Nothing important
day 17
I feeal like making ramen
Ramen also tastes better with cayanne
Hey look, it's that annoying zip slasher thing.
It should have it's own horror movie
day 22
Oh, hi Slender Man. 'Sup?
Mission with Axel
Roxas teh zombeh
Go away, Slendy. I'm not in the mood
Axel goes to CO tomorrow
Seriously, GTFOut of room, Ur scaring me!
Day 23
Xion
Sa'i'x confronts Axel about traiters.
Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Creme!
Sent Slendy on a beer run. Hope he get's the good shit.
day 24
Xigbar petname; poppet
I seem to have misplaced my pencap
Found it!
Xion's first word; Roxas
Flashback; Roxas's name
day 25
Dark Sayeed!
Xion's face
Slendy's back! With booze! Yay!
Roxas X Xion date
Insert Salty Ice Cream joke here
http://forums.khinsider.com/fanfiction/164771-kingdom-hearts-358-2-days-parody-script.html
Part 2;
Ian; Anthony! You may have killed me with a bow and arrow and poison in Food Battle 2011, but me and my Pimk-Frosted-Sprinkled-Donuts want another go!
Anthony; You mean "My Pink-Frosted-Sprinkled-Donuts and !"!
Ian; Don't F@&king correct me!
Anthony; Whatever! There's no way in the eight levels of hell-
Ian; Nine, Anthony! There's nine level of Hell!
Anthony; Shut up! My new favorite food, Sea-Salt Ice Cream, Is gonna kick your donut's Pink-Frosted-Sprinkled Ass!
Ian; Then let's do this sh@&! Omnomnom!
Voice; Food Battle 2012, coming... eventually. I think.
Acelegin; And now, for the episode thing!
day 14
Axel; Roxas! We're team up again. This is gonna be your first really-real mission.
Roxas; What about days 8-13?
Axel; Silly Roxas. Tutorials don't count as real missions. Now let's go brutally murder abunch of heartless in order to further our own shadowy agenda!
meanwhile
Xemnas; A proposal, eh? I didn't realize you were that committed.
Zexion; I am totally committed to this. And that's why I need a raise. Rings these days are so expensive, and most of my munny "mysteriously vanishes"...
Xemnas; Axel?
Zexion; Axel.
Xemnas; I'll have to talk to that guy.
phone rings
Zexion; Oh sorry, that's me. answers phone Hello?
Vexen; Hey dude! I just got a brand new bong, and Lexaeus is hookin' us up with an 80 sack! Where gonna get howwed up tonight!
Zexion; Um, dude, I'm in the superior's office. And you're on speaker.
Vexen; Oh sh@&!
Xemnas; Vexen, I would like you and Lexaeus to report to my office. NOW!!
elsewhere
Axel; Well, that was a fun mission. Let's go get some Ice cream!
Hayber; Hurry up, b*tches! Last one there buys us all Ice cream!
Pence; But I need my munny to buy potions for my sick mother!
Ollette; Don't worry, I get get lot's of munny from my fannboys-
Hayner; Like Acelegin!
Ollette; Yeah, like him. I'd be more than happy to pitch in.
Roxas; Who were those people?
Axel; They seem to be friends.
Raxas; What is, friends?
Axel; Friends are people who eat ice cream together.
Roxas; Does that make us friends?
Axel; Yes. Yes it does.
meanwhile
Hayner; I'm gonna kick your fat ass for that!
Pence; But it was an accident! I didn't mean to drop the ice cream!
Hayner; Bull Sh@&!
Pence; Please don't kill me! Who will care for my sick mother?
Ollette; My fanboys might help.
Hayner; Like Acelegin!
meanwhile, in the world that isn't a video game spoof...
Acelegin; Ugh, I need a break.
Mathaxsan; What's wrong? You're usually so good and making sh@& up as you go.
Acelegin; I don't know. I'm just not feelin' the flow.
Yuma; Haha! Zexal reference!
Slender Man; I know what'll cheer you up!
Acelegin; Please don't...
Slender Man; Come on and dance to the beat, wave your hands together, come feel the heat, forever and forever, listen and learn, it is time for prancin', Now I am here, with Slender Man Dancin'!
Acelegin; Stop it! You're being creepy! I mean like, creepier than you usually are.
day 15
Larxene; So what happened with Xemnas?
Zexion; He's gonna be relocating us to Castle Oblivion. Good news, there's no drug restriction there. It's gonna be the most enjoyable time-out ever.
Sa'i'x; Alright, I've got more mission's for you Roxas. Please note that not all of them are manditory and you're aloud to skip some-
Roxas; F@&k the mission explanation! Just point me in the direction of the sh@& you want me to kill!
Sa'i'x; Wow, violent much?
Zexion; Y'know, it's kinda your fault for assigning him all these brutal missions. I think it's starting to get to him. Why don't you give him some recon for a change. It'd be good for him.
Sa'i'x; Don't you f@&king tell me how to do my job!
Larxene; Dude, calm down.
Sa'i'X; Don't talk to me you f@&king c*nt whore slut tosser! I'll kill you and shove your f@&king limbs up your c*ck stocking boy-toys urethra!
Zexion; Axel! Axel, get over here! His Berserker Tourettes is acting up again!
Axel; Got it memorized!
Sa'i'x; Huh? What? Why are you all staring at me? Get back to work!
Zexion; Dafuq did you just do?
Axel; I can't really explain it, but it always seems to calm him down when I say that. That's why I use those words so often. Eventually it just kinda turned into a catchphrase.
Zexion; That is bizarrely convienient.
day 16
Xemnas; Alright, it seems like most of us are here, so we can begin. As most of you know, the three stoners are being moved to Castle Oblivion. However, I'd rather not leave them there alone, so I need someone to go keep an eye on them.
Xigbar; Not me.
Xaldin; Hell no!
Axel; I'd rather not.
Demyx; Too lazy.
Luxord; Nope.
Roxas; I aint going.
Xemnas; Wow, no one at this meeting was willing to volunteer.
Marlyuxia; (walks in) Hey guys, what did I miss?
Xemnas; Marly! I'm placing you in charge of Castle Oblivion!
Marluxia; Wait, What?
Xemnas; It's a unanimous vote, you have too go.
Marluxia; But I have plans this weekend!
Xaldin; Logging onto Slutload does not count as plans.
Marluxia; Yes it does!
Xaldin; No it doesn't.
Marluxia; Yes it- shut up!
day 17
Larxene; Xemnas, I want to go to Castle Oblivion!
Xemnas; Mwhy?
Larxene; I want to be with Zexy! We're soulmates!
Xemnas; I don't know...
Larxene; I'll do anything! I'll do your laundry, scrub your feet, punch Xaldin in the balls! I'll even call up Mathaxsan and tell her to visit!
Xemnas; Wait, what?
meanwhile, in real-life-land
Mathaxsan; Ace, did you ever get around to letting Xemnas know that I'm still alive?
Acelegin; There is a slight miniscule chance that it may or may not have slipped my mind...
Mathaxsan; So he still thinks I'm dead?
Acelegin; That is a distinct possibility, yes.
loud banging on door
Xemnas; Dammit Acelegin! Let me in! I need to see her! I will break this f@&king door down your G*d damn f@&king virgin son of a b*tch!
Acelegin; Oh f@&k! Quick, slendy, fetch me my magical gatling gun!
meanwhile
Sa'i'x; Axel, I need you to go to Castle Oblivion and kill Zexion.
Axel; Wait, what?
Sa'i'x; Kay thanks, bye.
Axel; What the hell just happened?
day 22
Axel; Yo dawg, I heard you liked mission's, so I put a mission inside your mission so that you can quest while you quest!
Roxas; Come again?
Axel; Hehe. You said "come".
Roxas; Why do I hang out with you?
later
Axel; So, I'm going to Castle Oblivion.
Roxas; Why?
Axel; 'Cuz Sa'i'x is an assh*le. Got it memorized?
Roxas; I'll keep that in mind.
Axel; Well, I gotta go pack. Later.
Roxas; Mkay. Wait, why does this stick say "WINNER"? Axel, come back!
Axel; Hehe. You said "come". (leaves)
Roxas; damn it
Day 23
Sa'i'x; Axel! I have reason to believe that Larxene and Marluxia are traitors. I need you to kill them too.
Axel; What makes you say that?
Sa'i'x; I read Marly's diary.
Axel; Why were you reading his diary?
Sa'i'x; It was on your bedside table.
Axel; I can explain that.
Sa'i'x; I think you see some one about your kleptomania.
Axel; I'm not a klepto!
Sa'i'x; Larxene's hairpins?
Axel; I swear to Acelegin's balls that they were a gift.
Sa'i'x; Xemnas's cutout of Mathaxsan?
Axel; I couldn't think of anything else to get Acelegin for his birthday.
Sa'i'x; Zexion's munny?
Axel; Wasn't me!
Sa'i'x; Lexaeus's weed?
Axel; That could've been anyone!
later
Sa'i'x; Axel left already. I'm pairing you with the only member of the organization who speaks less then you- Xion.
Roxas; Okay. Let's go!
day 24
Xigbar; Hey, who else is glad to be rid of thos annoying b*stards!
Demyx; Me!
Roxas; I kinda wish Axel were here. I have question's for him. Like what this "WINNER" stick means, and why I'm growing curly hairs all over my-
Demyx; Don't go there Roxas! There's a girl present.
Xigbar; What about you Poppet?
Roxas; Whose "Poppet"?
Xigbar; I'm referring to Xion.
Demyx; It's his thing.
Roxas; His "Thing?"
Demyx; Yeah. His thing. We all have a thing. Xigbar gives people nicknames, Xaldin's a c*ckblock, Vexen's a claustifobic scientis, Lexaeus is a drugdealer, Zexion's a nerd, Sa'i'x has a rare form of tourettes, Axel steals from everybody and their mothers, I'm a rockstar, Marluxia's a porn addict, Larxene's hot, You experience random what-nothing moments, and Xion... Well, I haven't figured out her thing yet.
later
Xion; R-Roxas...
Roxas; Whoa, you have vocal cords? I had n idea you were capable of speach.
Xion; Yes, I can talk.
Roxas; This reminds my of when I got my name...
flashback
Xemnas; From now on, you will be called Roxas.
Roxas; But I wanna be Jim.
Xemnas; NO! You will be called Roxas and you will like it!
Roxas; But-
Xemnas; I am the superior and you shall do as I command, b*tch!
day 25
Sa'i'x; Roxas! You and Xion must go destroy a pureblood heartless!
Roxas; But I thought the only ones who release hearts were the emblem heartless. Why do we need to kill a pureblood?
Sa'i'x; Because shut up!
Roxas; Axel was right, you are an assh*le.
later
Darkside; Roxas, come to the dark side of the farce!
Roxas; No!
Darkside; Why not?
Roxas; 'Cuz I don't feel like it right now.
Darkside; You suck.
Roxas; Ouch! You made me drop my keyblade!
Xion; I can use it! Haidouken!
Darkside; Oh no, I'm dead.
Roxas; That was b*tchin'. This calls for brainfreeze!
Xion; Why is this Ice cream salty? I'm pretty sure Ice cream isn't supposed to taste salty.
Roxas; I don't know. I'm almost used to it.
Acelegin; That's it for now. Kingdom Hearts RE-COM Parody Script, coming... eventually. I think.
Before I wrap up this thread, I have something I wanna share. My DS is kinda broke right now, so in order to get the events of the game right, I watch a tutorial on youtube. While watching, I took some notes so I wouldn't forget anything important. For the lulz, I have decided to post the notes I took in addition the script. enjoy the random;
Day 14
mission with Axel
1st real mission
Collect Hearts
2nd mission with Axel
Moar Ice Cream
Appearance of HOP
friends liek ice cream
Pence drops ice cream
day 15
Moar Missions
day 16
Nothing important
day 17
I feeal like making ramen
Ramen also tastes better with cayanne
Hey look, it's that annoying zip slasher thing.
It should have it's own horror movie
day 22
Oh, hi Slender Man. 'Sup?
Mission with Axel
Roxas teh zombeh
Go away, Slendy. I'm not in the mood
Axel goes to CO tomorrow
Seriously, GTFOut of room, Ur scaring me!
Day 23
Xion
Sa'i'x confronts Axel about traiters.
Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Creme!
Sent Slendy on a beer run. Hope he get's the good shit.
day 24
Xigbar petname; poppet
I seem to have misplaced my pencap
Found it!
Xion's first word; Roxas
Flashback; Roxas's name
day 25
Dark Sayeed!
Xion's face
Slendy's back! With booze! Yay!
Roxas X Xion date
Insert Salty Ice Cream joke here
