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Fanfiction ► khparodyscript; Court is in session



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Cexiangel

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Nov 14, 2009
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Here's another Bonus Episode in my Kingdom Hearts Parody Script. Enjoy. Or not. It's up to you.


Acelegin; Alright, court is now in session. Beginning case Luxord v. Boogie. Or Boogie v. Luxord, or however this sh@& is supposed to go. Okay, Mr. Boogie, please state your case.
Oogie; All I did was spill my drink, on accident, and this guy flips out and attacks me!
Acelegin; Luxord, what do you have to say in your defense?
Luxord; He got booze on my cards! He deserved it!
Acelegin; Okay, let's pretend for a minute that your reasoning isn't completely irrational. You do realize that the deck of cards in question belonged to the casino in which the two of you were gambling, right?
Luxord; It still pains me to see such a lovely deck of cards get ruined.
Acelegin; All right, Mr. Boogie, please call your first witness to the stand.
Cloud; That guy in the black cloak stole my buster sword and used it to attack the wierd bag guy!
Acelegin; Okay, so I guess I can go ahead and add theft to Luxord's list of BS crimes. Luxord, your witness.
Demyx; Your honor, if it pleases the court, I'd just like to say that my friend Luxord has been a gambler since his somebody was age ten, and he has a deep connection to the cards. That's why he acted out like that when he saw Oogie ruin a deck like that. And as for the sword, Cloud just left it lying there. Luxord just borrowed it, with every intention of returning it afterword.
Acelegin; Okay, that speech bored me. Oogie, where's your next witness?
Maleficent; Oogie is a fat stinking drunk and should go to jail!
Oogie; Hey, you're supposed to be testifying on my behalf!
Acelegin; Okay, Luxord, what does your next witness have to say about all this?
Xemnas; I'd like to offer a plea of insanity.
Luxord; What!?
Xemnas; Honestly, who in their right mind freaks out over a deck of playing cards?
Acelegin; Good point. Oogie, your next witness please.
Lock; I don't like Uncle Boogie! Send him to jail and give custody of us to Dr. Finkelstein. At least he has fun toys.
Oogie; Who's side are you on?
Acelegin; Apparently not yours. Luxord, bring up your next dude.
Zexion; Why am I even here? I haven't spoken to Luxord once since this script began?
Acelegin; Do you have anything to say in his defense?
Zexion; No.
Acelegin; Moving on. Oogie, bring up your person.
Shock; I agree with Lock, Dr. Finkelstein is way more fun!
Oogie; You ungrateful little brat!
Acelegin; I could care less about your family dispute. Luxord, who do you have next?
Xaldin; I hope Luxord gets raped in prison! By someone with AIDS! That way I won't actually be lying when I try to c*ck block him!
Acelegin; That's disturbing. Oogie, bring up whoever's next.
Barrel; What they said!
Acelegin; Who's "They"?
Barrel; Lock and Shock!
Acelegin; Fine, in that case I'll listen to who ever Luxord decides to bring up.
Roxas; .....
Acelegin; Well?
Roxas; .....
Acelegin; Do you have aanything to say on Luxord's behalf?
Roxas; Can have a cupcake?
Acelegin; Maybe later.
Roxas; (unenthusiastically) Yay, cupcakes.
Acelegin; Oogie, who do you have next?
Hades; I hate him, he poured booze on my head and set the room on fire.
Acelegin; Alright, Luxord, bring up your next guy.
Vexen; Well, statistically speaking, Luxord is completely psychotic and deserves to be locked up.
Luxord; Why are all my witnesses opposed to me!?
Vexen; Because you suck.
Acelegin; Okay, this is starting to bore me. Can somebody do something other that bicker back and forth?
Ursula; I believe that Oogie was being irresponsible with his beverage. He spills things all the time at the headquarters. Frankly, I think that some time in the slammer would help him control himself a little better.
Acelegin; I wasn't paying attention. What were you saying?
Ursula; I sai-
Acelegin; On secong thought, I don't care. Next!
Xigbar; Your excellency, I think that Luxord could some time away to reconcile with himself so that he can manage some of his anger issues.
Acelegin; Wait, where's Sa'i'x?
Xigbar; You wrote him out of the script, remember?
Acelegin; Oh yeah. Oogie, who you got next?
Hook; Oogie sucks!
Oogie; Why are you all being d*cks to me!
Acelegin; All right, will the defendant and the ...what ever the other guy is called ...please shut up and let the witnesses speak? Luxord, who's next?
Lexeaus; I want Luxord to go to jail so that he'll stop stealing my weed.
Luxord; That wasn't me it was Axel!
Lexeaus; Lier!
Luxord; But I-
Acelegin; I said shut up! Oogie, your next witness please.
Rikunort; Oogie is more stupid than Acelegin when he was in elementary school!
Acelegin; Dude, I'm sitting right in front of you.
Rikunort; Irrelevent!
Acelegin; I want him rem oved from my court. Next!
Larxene; Why am I here?
Acelegin; You're supposed to be testifying on Luxord's behalf.
Larxene; Who?
Acelegin; The gambler who controls time.
Larxene; I still don't know who you're talking about.
Acelegin; Never mind, your oppinion doesn't matter anyway. Go make out with Zexion or something, while Oogie brings up his next witness.
Anti-Sora; I don't like Oogie. He touched my naughty places.
Oogie; Did not!
Anti-Sora; Did so!
Acelegin; You're exhausting my patience. Luxord, bring up your final witness and get it over with.
Axel; Luxord should not go to jail.
Luxord; Thank you!
Axel; He should be strapped to a rocket and fired into the sun.
Luxord; What!?
Axel; Got it memorized?
Acelegin; That's enough. Luxord, Oogie, if either of you have any closing statements, now would be a good time.
Luxord;I think this whole court session was completely pointless! I think it was just an excuse for you to give Roxas screentime and remind every one that you wrote Sa'i'x out of the script! I don't care who wins or loses, as long as that guy pays for ruining those cards!
Oogie; Well, sorry! It was an accident! I was just trying to enjoy a little me time. I had just gotten my butt kicked by that main character guy, Sora, and decided to take a short break, and then you go and make things worse by attacking me with a sword!
Acelegin; Wait, didn't you die in that fight against Sora?
Oogie; No, I survived.
Acelegin; Well, in that case... (bang!!!)
Luxord; Oh My God! You just shot Oogie Boogie!
Acelegin; I'm the judged! I can do what ever the f@&k I want! (bangs gavel) Case closed!
 
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