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Khinsider College "where murder happens every now and then"



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Chill

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

So I may die? any way death to you ALLLLLLLLL
 

Roaringflames

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

chapte 4 up now and up yours god i don't need your pwning shit

Chapter 4: Who is the murder

The next day in classes Alex and Cathrine got to there first class at 6:40 Am to study their notes then Renn and Evageline come in 50 minutes later with Toria who wore a white scarf a black and white dress and black/white shoes. "Good mourning everyone" said Toria waving her hands in a greeting type motion then Chrisp came in with a red shirt and red and white pants kissing Toria. "Oh *giggles a little* since when are you a romatic last time we meet you didn't even talk" said Toria kissing him back. "Well it's because your so damn beatuful i couldn't resist the urges to do this" said Chrisp looking a little blushed. "Well you 2 romatics can do this later we have classes in 20 minutes so put your act together and work on something for god damn's sake" said Evageline giving them a little glare type look. When the first bell rang everyone came rushing in hoping not to be tardy and get detention again but Orion said that a new poilcy is in place one where you can be only tem minutes within the class starting time to not be tardy. "Today class we will be investaging the murder scences to find clues abd edvince to who might be the murder" said Orion leading the class out to the murder scences.

When they got to the murder scence of Chris they found a sniper rifle and words written across the targets. Die riches was on them and Bonchill cound't help but smirk at that. When they went to Taoha's room and balcony they cound't find anything but blood in her room. Then they searched Betrayios's room and stiil came empty handed and left. Next they got transferred to social studies and were completly shocked and distrubed by Star's thought of why the killer hates rich people, then theywent to math and found out that the professer to do a task for him. "Well i need you all to put these heart shaped banners up on doors in commerance of Vanten Times day and thi survey about what happens in your mind" said the professer handing them heart-shaped banners and went to work immeditly and finshed hanging up them up by 15 minutes later than the start of comm.arts and the professer wrote passes for all of them. When they got to coom.arts the professer told them they needed to write a love story on the internet and made sure it was finshed and had reviews to the least of 10 per catergory then they left for lunch were they meet the new tranfer students Lycrois and Smile or so they called her.

"Hey guys maybe we should you know comfert them" said Toria almost getting up untill she relized no one followed her just then Bonechill sat down and said "may i have a word with Evageline only" and grabbed her hand and started to walk outside the building. "Okay how to say this but this is all a dream i'm the murder and you're all my pupets to play with, even the princapal is helping me out you have no hope for surrivel and better yet no one will believe you because you will pass out right here by me now hush" said Bonchill silencing her and making her pass out. Bonechil returned to the caf'e to find everything as it was before he sat down with Evagelines friends and told them the news and they rushed out, Renn picked her up and carried her back to her room where she soon later wakes. "YAAA!!" Evageline srceamed when she woke up to find her friends surronding her and she was in her bed. "Umm what happened?" said Evageline looking at everyone strangely "You passed out so Renn carried you back her. How did you pass out anyways?"said Alex asking her a question. "Well i vaguly remember Bonchill telling me that he's the murder and he made me hush" said Evageline answring his question. "Well that's crazy he dosn't look strong enough to throw a person like your forgeting" said Renn comferting her. "Well it's weird i can't put my hand on it but Bonechill is supposedly tied to the murders we at least know that now. Well you neede your rest so we're leaving good night" said Toria leaving the room . Meanwhile Bonchill was already in Reflection's room dragging her over to the balcony and with his knife he killed her and ran right back to his dorm room without someone saying a word. Evageline got up from her bed and ran over to Reflection's room where she her dead corpse yelling as loud as she can and that made everyone come to her room where she had been murder # 4.

Well thats were i'mending it took me a damn long time to write this so hope you enjoy
 

Chill

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

Wow thanks for including me in this roaring.
 

Oracle Spockanort

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

Aw, my name was spelled wrong. ): But I transferred in with Smile so I guess...okay...

But you really need to flesh things out more...and have somebody beta this for you if you won't be able to work on the grammar.

Split your dialogue up. You have these chunk paragraphs and a lot of stuff happens in each one rather than spacing it out.
 

madammina

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

May I be apart of this tale?
 

madammina

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

YAY!!! Thank you!

(I should warn you, I may go into Editor mode)
 

madammina

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

I usually do advice, spelling, grammar, etc, and ask questions about the plot to help you find plot holes.

I'll try to restrain myself though.
 

Reflection

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

SCUSE ME WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO WRITE MY DEATH

( ´ω`)
 

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

I find that statment terribly ironic

whoops, spoilers
 

Reflection

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

ガ━━Σ(゚Д゚|||)━━ン!! Shock!!
 

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

I skimmed through and found my name horribly misspelled. So I demand in the next chapter I come out of nowhere and murder people with a lightsaber. Oh and then I become like darth vader only more badass. EDIT:This is a super smash bros fanfic just replace everyone with us right?
 
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Oracle Spockanort

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

I also demand I am as smart as Spock since my name is spelled wrong. That requires you to spell things correctly or you will have practically taken a Shat on Spock's coffin and said "No whales for you"
 

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Damn it do you know how much i hate the computer and sorry guys but that can not happen because i'm not god and that would screw everything up also i'm gonna skip a few months to Halloween oh and Madminna you will be included in this in chapter 6.

Chapter 5: Gullotined to death on Halloween

Cathrine had just read the activity sheet that came to her dorm at 5:00 am and currenty it was 6:00 am on Halloween. She had to dress up for a assesssmbly as something which she thought was stupid but did it anyways and looked like a lawyer just then Alex came in as Spock from startrek and Evageline came behind him looking like red-haired women from Phoenix wright tm series( don't know how to do it) and Renn came to dressed as Miles Edgeworth from that excact same series. "Well i can see you two love the Phoenix wright series huh am i right" said Cathrine putting on a tie to finsh her costume. "Well i also hear they're changing up some stuff and adding a real gullotine which is roped off in case the murder might return from his nine month break from killing and make the police come back" said Toria coming in as Mia fey from the Phoenix wright series except for the hair. "Wow i hope we don't see any more of these phoenix wright characters now let's just get to the gym where they will be telling us what we can do today" said Smile coming up from behind them, Lycrois following looking like phoenix wright characters. "Ok how the hell did you both get here" said Cathrine looking at them like they're crazy and insane. "We climbed down with that rope over there now let's get going guys don't wanna be late" said Lycrois when the door opened and Bonechill came wlking in as Vanitas from bbs and Evageline hid in a corner. "Hey umm sorry for just barging in here but has anyone seen the gullontine i just wanna see it once" said Bonechill looking at them all. "Well it will be at the pool area for display after 9:00 pm only so wait are we waiting for let's go to that assessmbly" said Renn walking out Bonechil following and the others as well.

When they got to the gym they found a screen mounted on top of a stage they never use on Youtube with lots of people in the stands watching it. "Umm did we arrive late" said Smile looking at how filled the stnds were and the princpal came over. "Well no actually these are the people who wanted to get here early so have a seat up front right next to Gildragon and sribbles as we call them" said Nevermore telling them to move towards the empty seats up on the top row next to gildragon and scribbles. For th next 10 hours they sat and watched as they're day went by very fast and swiftly as princpal Nevermore talked about the halloween events for tommorw on saturday and then it was nine and princpal Nevermore let them all go but Bonechill who got the keys to enter the gullotine and was tasked to kill a person with it.

Johny fcuking craig was fast alsleep by the time Bonechill came in his room and dragged him out towards the gullotine and placed him on it and bitchslapped him awake. "WTF is happening" Johny asked before the blade cut his head off and everyone came running even Bonechill faked it to look inocent."OMG the murder is back on Halloween night shitballs" said Alex as he watched the police come and bury the body.
 

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

I wasn't in this so I don't like it.

Oh...and learn who to write please. Grammar, spelling, and all. Or get a beta or something...
yeah same

how about me and lycoris are found dead together lol
 

Oracle Spockanort

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Re: Khinsider Collage "where murder happens every now and then"

yeah same

how about me and lycrois are found dead together lol
I'm not against this at all. And babe, my name isn't Lycoris anymore. It's Lycrois. o_o






BUT HEY. Why don't I get to be Spock on Halloween? And why am I an unnamed Phoenix Wright character with Smile?
 
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