KHI: Writer's Guild!

[Annoyance]

Ok guys, I'm doing a Five Nights at Freddy's novelization or some friends who are too scared to play, can't finish it, and/or can't watch it. I'm gonna try not to do the chapters too long as of now, and its gonna be a bit of a challenge because I've got less to go on than usual. But this will give me a bit more freedom in writing the characters.

Remember: this is a novelization. I'm absolutely NOT gonna do romance! XD (eugh)

And I know a lot of us are oversaturated at this point, but...yeah...

Interested to see what your theories are on the story. There are so many!

I just wanted to let you know that's it awesome to have you back to help critique other peoples stories. So, it's greatly appreciated, because I don't always have the time to do it and not exactly my forte; since I'm better at misspelling at most and a tiny bit of grammar.

Yeah it's kind of my passion and I'm really happy to get back to it. It's time consuming, frustrating, but I love it.

 

[Nyangoro]

So, I know I don't post much on this board, but that doesn't mean I'm not writing and trying stuff; and one of the ideas I've been working on recently has been a real help to me as a writer when it comes to POV, which is why I thought I'd recommend this as an exercise to everyone.

Essentially, it's just a multiple first person POV narrative. But, of course, this is kind of weird, since normally first person only has one narrator (because, well, obviously). When you have multiple (in my case, two) first person narrators, however, it makes you think about things differently. All of the sudden, you've got something completely new to balance.

See, when people write in first person, it's not uncommon to see the character's narration drift into the writer's own style of writing. Makes sense, that's the voice the writer is most comfortable in, but the problem is that it doesn't suit the character. In third person POV (especially omniscient), the author's voice is tantamount, so it can be whatever it wants. Whatever the author is comfortable with, that's the voice. However, in first person POV, the voice is of the character. And a lot of times, I feel like writers forget that. They forget that in first person POV, it isn't about their own personal voice, but about the voice of the character they're writing.

That's where this exercise comes in. If you create even two first person narratives that you switch between at regular intervals, you get a unique problem as a writer. Your standard voice won't work anymore. Not because there's necessarily something wrong with that voice, but because you simply can't feasibly use the same voice for two characters. And since first person POV is all about the characters, that creates an issue.

How to solve that issue? The writer has to learn to write both voices differently, so as to effectively distinguish them. The reader should know, just by reading the voice, which character is speaking. Even if the POV switches, the audience is aware of it instantly, because of the difference in the delivery of the narration as it relates to the character at hand.

For example, one character could be calm and verbose, while the other is neurotic and uses choppy sentences. Doing a writing exercise like this allows the writer to practice really getting into the mindset of the character, writing as though they were him or her. Even better, you learn how to better control your own voice in the process.

So yeah, multiple first person POVs. Pretty good exercise. Totally recommended.

 

[Annoyance]

So, I know I don't post much on this board, but that doesn't mean I'm not writing and trying stuff; and one of the ideas I've been working on recently has been a real help to me as a writer when it comes to POV, which is why I thought I'd recommend this as an exercise to everyone.

Essentially, it's just a multiple first person POV narrative. But, of course, this is kind of weird, since normally first person only has one narrator (because, well, obviously). When you have multiple (in my case, two) first person narrators, however, it makes you think about things differently. All of the sudden, you've got something completely new to balance.

See, when people write in first person, it's not uncommon to see the character's narration drift into the writer's own style of writing. Makes sense, that's the voice the writer is most comfortable in, but the problem is that it doesn't suit the character. In third person POV (especially omniscient), the author's voice is tantamount, so it can be whatever it wants. Whatever the author is comfortable with, that's the voice. However, in first person POV, the voice is of the character. And a lot of times, I feel like writers forget that. They forget that in first person POV, it isn't about their own personal voice, but about the voice of the character they're writing.

That's where this exercise comes in. If you create even two first person narratives that you switch between at regular intervals, you get a unique problem as a writer. Your standard voice won't work anymore. Not because there's necessarily something wrong with that voice, but because you simply can't feasibly use the same voice for two characters. And since first person POV is all about the characters, that creates an issue.

How to solve that issue? The writer has to learn to write both voices differently, so as to effectively distinguish them. The reader should know, just by reading the voice, which character is speaking. Even if the POV switches, the audience is aware of it instantly, because of the difference in the delivery of the narration as it relates to the character at hand.

For example, one character could be calm and verbose, while the other is neurotic and uses choppy sentences. Doing a writing exercise like this allows the writer to practice really getting into the mindset of the character, writing as though they were him or her. Even better, you learn how to better control your own voice in the process.

So yeah, multiple first person POVs. Pretty good exercise. Totally recommended.

You are so right Nyan. I think this is a wonderful idea. I notice a lot of writers here struggling with finding a proper voice for first person narratives, and this definitely will help. Consistency is so important and sometimes a story can't just switch to third person.

Also when am I gonna comment on your shit huh?

 

[Nyangoro]

Well, if you want, go back a few pages to around January 2014 and you'll see something of mine, lol

 

[KingdomKey]

Could one of you please show us how two first person narratives would be like? I'd like to improve and kind of think I know what you two mean, but it'd be great to have an example to go off of to be sure.

 

[Annoyance]

Well, if you want, go back a few pages to around January 2014 and you'll see something of mine, lol

I'll be sure to look for that. I definitely need more stuff to read.

Could one of you please show us how two first person narratives would be like? I'd like to improve and kind of think I know what you two mean, but it'd be great to have an example to go off of to be sure.

It's a lot of trial and error, people watching, and having a clear set voice for each character. It's hard for me to think of an example, necessarily [like just typing it up], but off the top of my head, books I enjoyed in first person that play with the idea of it well [and I'm just gonna look at my bookshelf... This list is debatable, it's just merely what I have on my bookshelf that can be related]:
Catcher in the Rye [lies]
Kafka on the Shore [switches]
Fight Club [makes you feel nuts]
This Book is Full of Spiders [switches pov from first to third]

There are other enjoyable titles with first person narrative, these are just the ones I plucked off my shelf.




On another note:

Hemingway I stumbled upon this on tumblr and I think this would be useful for a lot of you in your proof reading process. It's not 100%, of course, but it's still pretty accurate and helpful. I was messing with my old KH fanfic and having a lot of fun with it. You can just plop whatever you want in there and it will grade it. It's definitely worth checking out. I may even invest in the desktop version for myself.



Also, anoooother note: WHY DO I KEEP MISSING NOTIFICATIONS.

 

[KingdomKey]

Did you subscribe to the thread, Annoyance? Go to Thread Tools at the top of the thread and click on subscribe. You'll start getting notified whenever this thread is updated. And I'll definitely look up some of those books. I do have Catcher in the Rye, so that should help me get a better perspective on first person narrative. So thanks! And I'll take a look at the tumblr you gave me, since I'm always eager to improve my proof reading.

 

[Annoyance]

Did you subscribe to the thread, Annoyance? Go to Thread Tools at the top of the thread and click on subscribe. You'll start getting notified whenever this thread is updated. And I'll definitely look up some of those books. I do have Catcher in the Rye, so that should help me get a better perspective on first person narrative. So thanks! And I'll take a look at the tumblr you gave me, since I'm always eager to improve my proof reading.

Oh no I know how, it just kinda blips out sometimes and I don't get notified of updates in the CP. It could be because I check on my laptop and my phone so maybe I missed it. :v

As for Catcher in the Rye, while he doesn't switch, the main character is a liar, as he says in the beginning, so it makes you, as the reader, second guess everything and try to make sense of what's true and what isn't and it's just interesting to me. It's a super fast read, too.

I forgot about The Perks of Being a Wallflower, too, which is told in first person as well by one main character. I also finished this in about a day.

The browser app is pretty fun, I have to say. I'm not sure if I should buy the desktop version, but I'm seriously tempted.

 

[Hidden]

Kafka on the Shore [switches]

You read Kafka on the Shore!?

Didyoulikeitdidyoulikeitdidyoulikeitdidyoulikeit?

I should point out, in that book, Kafka's chapters are written in the first-person, while Nakata's and later Hoshino's are written in the third person. However, within Kafka's chapters, you also have the interruptions of the boy named Crow, and occasionally the narrative shifts into second-person, which is very interesting.

Also, my favorite childhood series, "The Animorphs" by K. A. Applegate, switched first-person perspectives between books, or, if you bought one of the larger "Megamorphs" or "Chronicles" books, between chapters. I haven't read them in quite awhile, but I remember the character Marco in particular having a very unique voice.

A book I read much more recently, Brothers on the Run, also switches first-person narrators between chapters and does so very convincingly.

EDIT: Finally, the best (or at least most accessible) place to see shifts between first-person narrators? The roleplaying section of the forums. Lots of people write their characters in the first person, and it's an added bonus if you find someone writing two characters in this manner.

 

[Annoyance]

You read Kafka on the Shore!?

Didyoulikeitdidyoulikeitdidyoulikeitdidyoulikeit?

I should point out, in that book, Kafka's chapters are written in the first-person, while Nakata's and later Hoshino's are written in the third person. However, within Kafka's chapters, you also have the interruptions of the boy named Crow, and occasionally the narrative shifts into second-person, which is very interesting.

Also, my favorite childhood series, "The Animorphs" by K. A. Applegate, switched first-person perspectives between books, or, if you bought one of the larger "Megamorphs" or "Chronicles" books, between chapters. I haven't read them in quite awhile, but I remember the character Marco in particular having a very unique voice.

A book I read much more recently, Brothers on the Run, also switches first-person narrators between chapters and does so very convincingly.

I loved it! It was real fucking weird but I loved it. The characters were so fucking GOOD and interesting. It just felt really complete to me and I loved that. I read Norwegian Wood and I'm reading 1Q84 now, too.

 

[Hidden]

I loved it! It was real diddlying weird but I loved it. The characters were so diddlying GOOD and interesting. It just felt really complete to me and I loved that. I read Norwegian Wood and I'm reading 1Q84 now, too.

Awesome! Kafka on the Shore is still my favorite by Murakami (and just about anyone), but as I'm sure I've mentioned I also really enjoy his short stories. I just finished 1Q84; took me a few months to get through it, including breaks to read other materials. I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure I'll be going back to reread it for awhile. Norwegian Wood is still on my list to read.

Another good novel is "Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World." As a friend of mine put it, "Kafka..." is her favorite novel for its writing, but "Wonderland..." is her favorite for the story. It does have a more comprehensible and probably satisfying plot than Kafka on the Shore. If you're not Murakamied out by the end of 1Q84, give it a look!

 

[Annoyance]

Awesome! Kafka on the Shore is still my favorite by Murakami (and just about anyone), but as I'm sure I've mentioned I also really enjoy his short stories. I just finished 1Q84; took me a few months to get through it, including breaks to read other materials. I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure I'll be going back to reread it for awhile. Norwegian Wood is still on my list to read.

Another good novel is "Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World." As a friend of mine put it, "Kafka..." is her favorite novel for its writing, but "Wonderland..." is her favorite for the story. It does have a more comprehensible and probably satisfying plot than Kafka on the Shore. If you're not Murakamied out by the end of 1Q84, give it a look!

I'll definitely check that out then. I need to go to the library to renew my check out so I'll see if they have it [probably].
I found myself re-reading a lot of Kafka to get its point and stuff so yeah idk. Norwegian Wood read very smoothly for me, and was for the most part pretty straight forward, but has multiple instances of vivid imagery and the calm nature of why I like Murakami to begin with. It's more biographical than the others and realistic.

 

[Cassette-Disk]

On another note:

Hemingway I stumbled upon this on tumblr and I think this would be useful for a lot of you in your proof reading process. It's not 100%, of course, but it's still pretty accurate and helpful. I was messing with my old KH fanfic and having a lot of fun with it. You can just plop whatever you want in there and it will grade it. It's definitely worth checking out. I may even invest in the desktop version for myself.

Duuuude that's rad as hell

 

[Nyangoro]

Back to the first person perspective issue, I just wrote up a few quick paragraphs to illustrate. Conceptually, if you do it well enough, even a single paragraph in this perspective will tell you a lot about the narrator's personality or mood.

Spoiler Show

The stench of the alcohol-stained apartment burned the hair in my nose, like from the caked in grime of a smouldering pot. But it wasn’t the lingering scent of alcohol that caught my attention; that had already been soaked in far too deep to smell. This scent, a gathering of perfumes and iron, came from the three bodies lying at my feet. Even were it that the bodies had already started to decay, I can’t imagine it would mask the overpowering odor of what I had no doubt were the latest fragrances.

Spoiler Show

God, I hated that guy. He was such an asshole. Honestly, I’m not even sure what I liked about him in the first place. Something about being a doctor or something, but would I really fall for a doctor like that? It’s so cliche; sounds like something out of a bad movie. No, it must be something else. I refuse to believe that I could be so easily charmed by chiseled good looks and a hefty salary. He must have put something in my drink. Yeah, that’s it. He tricked me into liking him. It was all his fault.

Spoiler Show

I hid behind the door. There was nowhere left to go. Whatever that thing was, it knew this place like the back of its hand. I closed my mouth, keeping silent. At night, this place was dead silent. And now, all I could hear were the footsteps of my pursuer, getting louder. Closing in on the office I made my haven. The footfalls were so disturbing. A slam, then a squish, and finally a scrape. Each time, each step, the same disheartening pattern. And now I heard its breathing. I knew it was just on the other side. Each second dragged on and on, stretching out to infinity. Its breath wafted around the side of the door. I prayed it would leave, that it wouldn’t notice me in this room. It was all I could do to stop from crying out.

Spoiler Show

What day was it again? Friday, maybe? Strange how hard it is to remember something as simple as dates after a few shots. But I remember my other date that night quite well. She was at least a seven and a half. In a better dress, she easily could have pushed an eight. That green dress really wasn’t doing her any favors though. Or maybe it was red. I’ve been told that I’m color blind after a few too many. I doubt it though, since she definitely flipped my yellow fever switch. It seemed odd to me though, since she was so pale and all. Must be from a Northern region. Did they have blue eyes up there? I think hers were brown anyway.

That last one is a version of the unreliable narrator that doesn't revolve around them being a liar so much as it revolves around their inability to accurately recall their own memories.

 

[Annoyance]

Back to the first person perspective issue, I just wrote up a few quick paragraphs to illustrate. Conceptually, if you do it well enough, even a single paragraph in this perspective will tell you a lot about the narrator's personality or mood.

Spoiler Show

The stench of the alcohol-stained apartment burned the hair in my nose, like from the caked in grime of a smouldering pot. But it wasn’t the lingering scent of alcohol that caught my attention; that had already been soaked in far too deep to smell. This scent, a gathering of perfumes and iron, came from the three bodies lying at my feet. Even were it that the bodies had already started to decay, I can’t imagine it would mask the overpowering odor of what I had no doubt were the latest fragrances.

Spoiler Show

God, I hated that guy. He was such an asshole. Honestly, I’m not even sure what I liked about him in the first place. Something about being a doctor or something, but would I really fall for a doctor like that? It’s so cliche; sounds like something out of a bad movie. No, it must be something else. I refuse to believe that I could be so easily charmed by chiseled good looks and a hefty salary. He must have put something in my drink. Yeah, that’s it. He tricked me into liking him. It was all his fault.

Spoiler Show

I hid behind the door. There was nowhere left to go. Whatever that thing was, it knew this place like the back of its hand. I closed my mouth, keeping silent. At night, this place was dead silent. And now, all I could hear were the footsteps of my pursuer, getting louder. Closing in on the office I made my haven. The footfalls were so disturbing. A slam, then a squish, and finally a scrape. Each time, each step, the same disheartening pattern. And now I heard its breathing. I knew it was just on the other side. Each second dragged on and on, stretching out to infinity. Its breath wafted around the side of the door. I prayed it would leave, that it wouldn’t notice me in this room. It was all I could do to stop from crying out.

Spoiler Show

What day was it again? Friday, maybe? Strange how hard it is to remember something as simple as dates after a few shots. But I remember my other date that night quite well. She was at least a seven and a half. In a better dress, she easily could have pushed an eight. That green dress really wasn’t doing her any favors though. Or maybe it was red. I’ve been told that I’m color blind after a few too many. I doubt it though, since she definitely flipped my yellow fever switch. It seemed odd to me though, since she was so pale and all. Must be from a Northern region. Did they have blue eyes up there? I think hers were brown anyway.

That last one is a version of the unreliable narrator that doesn't revolve around them being a liar so much as it revolves around their inability to accurately recall their own memories.

This fuckin' guy.
These are all fantastic examples. I can't tell you how often first person narratives are ruined by not thinking like the character they made and just themselves. Nyan you're great.

 

[ChibiHearts249]

Perhaps it's time for a little something so we can all get together again? XD

 

[KingdomKey]

Perhaps it's time for a little something so we can all get together again? XD

I couldn't agree more. I think it's the perfect time for that to be started again. Perhaps there will be something special in it for some of you too. ;3

 

[Cassette-Disk]

I couldn't agree more. I think it's the perfect time for that to be started again. Perhaps there will be something special in it for some of you too. ;3

 

[ChibiHearts249]

I couldn't agree more. I think it's the perfect time for that to be started again. Perhaps there will be something special in it for some of you too. ;3

Ok...Now I'm curious~ I'm going to try to be back on a bit, but I just moved into my own apartment and things are still a bit shaky ^_^

 

[itwasmybedtime]

oooooh a writers guild, why does the word guild have to remember me of fairy tail