KHI Disaster : Nooblets On The Rise



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Xiao

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Well folks, its time that something may be addressed.

First of all, let's define a nooblet.

Nooblet. (NOO - blit). n. 1. One who possesses the qualities of naivety, foolishness, stupidity, and tastelessness. They are often subject to much flaming.

Flaming? Now what is that?

Flaming. (FLAE-ming). v. 1. The act of pwning nooblets. 2. A form of typing/communication that generally takes on an angry and condescending tone, usually aimed at a nooblet or a fully grown n00b or newbeh.

As I'm sure most of you have noticed, the nooblets have been multiplying in these forums to excess. As said by Zetsumi, "Nooblets are like hydras. You flame one, and three more start bitching about it." There is NOTHING we can do to stop them. So, generally, the only thing for the more intelligent people on these forums to do is avoid them. So I am here to provide a few general tips to avoid them.

1. As a general courtesy to other members, please respond to this post with the name of a nooblet on the rise. A recent rising nooblet's name is gaiamanz. If you have a temper easily affected, my advice is to stay away from this member. Another is shotgun18, whose lack of intelligence is shown in my signature.

2. Stay away from the entire KH section. This includes KH2 and CoM. Occasionally the intelligent thread will pop up. However, this general section has no nooblet repellent, and thus the nooblets thrive there.

3. If you spot 50/\/\3+|-|1/\/9 |_1|{3 +|-|15, LOOK AWAY IMMEDIATELY. This is a sure sign of a nooblet and reading or attempting to decipher the stupidity usually instills rage within the reader.

Thank you for your time. That is all for now.

~Xiao
 

Xiao

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I should probably edit in a warning for him then =\
 
E

Eclipse

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This reminds me of something someone once said:

This just in from Discovery Channel...watch as we explore the intriguing species of internet law-enforcers....the Moderators.

The moderators are a strange breed of internet safety protocol. They seem to be a group of high-class members that enforce the laws and safety of forums. Let's look at the lifecycle of Moderators, shall we?

When one is hatched from the nooblet egg....it is born without eyesight and is extremely vulnerable to predators, aka. premium members and other Moderators. It is very weak, and needs to be fed manually. After a few weeks of incubating in the nest, the young soon grow appendages...we have come to know these appendages as "signatorus phoriallus" and the "avataraphus morpheus" but is commonly known as a "signature" and an "avatar"..these baby avatars and signatures are not as large and beautiful as those of the skilled graphics members and premium members yet, but these baby members will soon grow and develop. After the first few weeks of life, the member soon learns to post and and rep. At this point they are called "noobs" or Naive Online Offensive Bastards. It is still very young, and has not learned to defend itself from the flaming and banning of older moderators, and the premium members. "flaming" is an ancient technique passed town from the ancient eras of the 90's, when the internet was still young. Noobs soon learn how to flame, by watching others have "flame wars" and pick up the techniques from the experienced, just like any baby would do. Flame wars are online battles between two members, that involve flinging insults at eachother like soggy sack of dog feces. The one that has an insult horrifying enough to shut the other member up, is considered to have "pwnd" the other member.Noobs watch this, and soon learn the ways of the rambuctious territory we have come to know as the forums. Noobs also tend to spam, as a form of displaying a need of attention, and to rack up their post count, so they can reach adulthood. Spamming is frowned upon in the forum community, and a noob needs to be careful, as to not be banned mercilessly by the moderators and admins.

After a few months of life, the noob is now quite experienced, and has learned to defend himself in the wild. If a predator such as a premium member or a moderator is after him, the noob now knows ways on how to defend himself. During this stage, the noob enters "de-n00bification". During this stage, which could last anywhere from months to years...the noobs somehow obtains a high number of posts. Once it reaches a certain amount, the noob enters the de-n00bifaction process, and becomes a premium member. Now that the noob is a Prem as it is called, he has a higher chance of being picked by the almighty Admin to become a moderator. Now that the noob is a Prem, the tables have turned and the prey becomes the predator, he now gains full flaming powers, and preys upon other noobs and wishes to eradicate them from the face of the forums.

Prems have the option of editing their "custom title"..which they can edit to enter information about their location, or anything else they would like to put. But be warned, this title is seen by all members, and you can be ridiculed and/or flamed if you have a rather noobish title. So be warned. You may have also noticed that you have a dark red username, that shows that you have now reached adulthood at your stage of memberlife, and you are now a Prem.

Prem's stalk the forums, and debate and post as much as they can. They love to flame the noobs and spammers, and will invade any topic possible in the forum insanity area. These "Prems" love to gather in useless topics, that are sure to be closed by a moderator once it is discovered, but still like to post in it to
A.) rack up their post count
B.) flame noobs/spammers
C.) see how long the thread will last until it is closed.

A closed thread, is a thread that can no longer be entered. It has been closed by a moderator or admin. Prems and noobs alike will have to seek shelter elsewhere, as the mod storms pass by, closing the threads with a mighty madness.

If one is a Prem for long enough, and if they are unmistakably obedient and good-willed, perhaps the Administrator of the forums, will show kindness and favor, and host a ceremonial acceptance into the otherworldy paradise of the Moderators. If one accepts the invitation to the ceremony, the almighty Administrator, will grant the Prem supernatural powers over the forums, and their title will now shine a bright light-blue or red. Once this happens, they endure a remarkable transformation unlike any other in the animal kingdom. It is as if they are a whole new being, but now they are more like deities than just members. Moderators, are by far at the top of the food chain. They will prey upon any member they can find. They seek to cover their power-hungry need of prey, by posting nice replies to noobs, and posting the dreaded topics we know as "stickies" or Super Themed Informative Chastized Kindness Including Endless Superiority. They include top-secret encoded information with news and/or laws for members only. Once moderators post these, they are thought to be of some kind of supernatural holiness and or purity. But in all truth, they are really power-hungry species of members, seeking to destroy the noobs. Moderators have more power than any other member on the forum, and they can close, move, change, or sticky any thread they would like. It is important, that the forums enforce checks and balances to keep these mods from overthrowing the legislative system of the forums. RPrems/noobs, must make sure to be an annoyance and/or a bother to the moderators. If they fulfill this duty, they will accomplish two things
A.) make sure the moderators have people to keep their eye on
B.) make sure the moderators have threads to move/sticky/close
C.) keep the moderators from overthrowing the forum
D.) Achieve the satisfaction of irritating those of high authority.

Moderators must make sure to counterbalance this, and make sure to be a power-abusive, yet nice goodie-goodie. By doing this, they will accomplish the following
A.) maintain their status of power
B.) flaunt their authority in front of other members, to provoke their jealousy
C.) Cover up their real identity of being power hungry prems with powers.
D.) Hide the fact that they are truly created to take over the forums

When this check and balance system is in place, the forums shall remain a state of equality. If this system strays to one side or the other, the forums could end up in chaos, and ending with the moderators taking over the forums.

Administrators, are the deities of the forums, they are the almighty and powerful creators and powerhungry madmen that control the universe we come to know as the forums. They are those who give the powers to the Moderators, and without them, the forums would not exist. Administrators to not begin like other members, as they are usually the ones who create the forum, or ones that are picked by creators of the forum. Those lucky enough to become admins, have full control over the kingdom of the forums.

All in all, the moderators are the ones we must worry about, for underneath their kind shell, is a hungry interior craving the flesh of newborn nooblets and prems. And as long as there are moderators, there will always be a reason to keep them from conquering the forums..

~~Eklpz


All in all i agree. this thread = gold

i shall report noobs promptly *goes digging in kh2 forum*
 
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Xiao

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That's pretty much brilliant =]
 

Alaude Drenxta

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You sir, fail hard. Please do not type, ever. Leave your keyboard, and never access the forum again. Please and thank you.
 

Inner-Demon

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So basically it's you quoting something you've said before. And YOU consider it wise? Yeah.... Wise is not the word I would use? But what do I know.
 
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inhiding

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I don't get it. Is this thread supposed to be informing us with things we already know?
 
E

Eclipse

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You sir, fail hard. Please do not type, ever. Leave your keyboard, and never acess the forum again. Please and thank you.
learn to quote. then never come back. you phail.

So basically it's you quoting something you've said before. And YOU consider it wise? Yeah.... Wise is not the word I would use? But what do I know.
it was a joke, but you obviously have your head stuck up so far your assh you couldn't tell.
 
E

Eclipse

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And clearly you are the very thing you speak about. See, I'm insulting you. That's what last post was suppose to be. Jeez you're all so slow.
it was a joke. grow up. =]
 

Xiao

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You sir, fail hard. Please do not type, ever. Leave your keyboard, and never access the forum again. Please and thank you.
Who are you talking to? If its me...well...I'm not a sir XP.
 

Alaude Drenxta

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I know you're not a sir Xiao, nor was I talking to you. ._.

learn to quote.
I like this?

then never come back. you phail.
Elaborate for me if you will. Also, here's just a helpful hint. Learn to capitalize the beginning of your sentences. One last thing, don't repeat people when your ass is handed to you, it just makes you look stupid and pathetic.


Also, do not let me overlook this comical number.

obviously. *points to kairi sig and avatar* xD
*points to Eclipse's sig and avatar*
He just called himself a woman. Good show, good show indeed.
 
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Inner-Demon

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You really shouldn't talk about how to start a sentence when you can't even spell 'beginning' correctly. Or 'capitalize' for that matter.

And a few other things too. But sometimes there's just no hope.
 
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