Re: [KH] "How to Survive the End of Everything" | 0.2 Retelling
iii. — obscuris vera involvens.
As you wander through the endless dark, look at the card in your hand. Look at THE PAST. While the card’s origins confuse you greatly, spend most of your time thinking more about what they depict than where it came from, how it knew about you. The past. It feels so far away now. Sometimes even find yourself doubting if it ever existed at all. That maybe you had always been down here in the dark, that you only imagined a life before this. If such a life had existed, would you really have ended up here? Think about all the choices that led you down into the dark, all the things you could have done differently. Was there a way to have stopped this from happening? Or was it your destiny to be this alone?
You don’t know. It’s possible you’ll never really know, that this doubt will always exist inside your heart, forming cracks. For now, you can only do what you have always done—keep moving forward. Through the dark corridors, the twisted paths. Through the many fragmented and broken worlds you have found on your way thus far. The twisted forests that once must have been filled with fauna, meadows where deer likely took their first steps. The towering prideful rock structures. The empty and dilapidated shack of a carpenter. The hollowed out palace fit for an emperor. The barren and crumbling cityscapes of former prosperous worlds. Each one leaving behind a stain on your heart, and impenetrable sadness. Were you to blame for them, too?
Don’t react when you come across yet another fallen world. Not at first. Consider the best route around it, only for something in your heart to pull you toward it, deeper. Something calls out to you and you find yourself less and less able to resist. So don’t. Head into the darkness and tell yourself the entire time that it is your idea, even as the shadows nudge you closer.
Though the darkness has twisted it, recognize what must have once been a marshy outlet of a river. A thick fog fills what once was water. To your surprise, find that you can walk on it. The clouds bellow beneath your every step, but never part to reveal what lurks in its depths. Darkness, you presume. It’s always only darkness. Down the river make out what looks to be a light. Head toward it.
Discover a large triple decker paddle steamboat crashed into the fog. Thousands of purple lights line the railings and the top of the boat and a gold light emits from within. They flicker in the dark, giving the boat an almost glistening quality. It beckons you closer, inside. Explore the interior of the boat. Imagine the lives that once touched this place. The way they sat. The way they played music on the now abandoned stage. Their hopes and dreams. Venture further in.
Stop when you feel your heart tremble. A purple door rests at the end, unlike any other on the boat. Even the wall around it appears to be of a different material than the rest of the boat, like the wall and the door was splintered in from another part of the world. Light graffiti surrounds it on the wall. Inside the panels of the door, unintelligible drawings and icons appear to be scribbled. An intense pull forms within you and before you know it, you’re reaching your hand out.
Grip the handle. Open the door. Step inside.
Is there any point in continuing this fight?
Open your eyes. Find yourself back in your room at the Land of Departure. Back home. Turn and look out the window by your bed. Tear up at the beautiful mountains, the way the light shines on the golden chains connecting them, at the plaza at the castle’s door. It’s all still here. You’re still here.
A knock at your door. It opens and Terra enters. A young Terra, maybe twelve or thirteen. He smiles at you and runs toward your bed, hopping onto it.
Isn’t it amazing here, Aqua, he says. I can’t believe we can live here if we want. He sits cross-legged, holding his feet as he excitedly rocks back and forth.
Terra, why are you so small, you say.
I’m not small, he says, puffing out his nonexistent chest. I’m big and tough and I’m only going to get bigger once we start training.
No, why are you a child?
He tilts his head at you curiously. Aqua, he says, are you okay?
Stumble off the bed and find a mirror. Take in the sight of yourself, years younger. A kid. You and Terra both.
Is this a dream, you ask yourself.
I know, right, he says. It’s amazing here. Don’t you want to just stay here forever?
A bell goes off and Terra immediately jumps off of the bed. He tells you to head to the throne room. Follow him down the familiar corridors and staircases. Stare up at the stained glass windows, feel their warmth tickle your skin. Breath deeply. Calmly. It was all just a nightmare, wasn’t it? Everything is fine and nothing hurts.
You’re going to stay, aren’t you? Terra asks you as you approach the throne room.
Stay?
I’m going to, he says. I want to learn to wield the Keyblade. I want to be strong. He looks at you with a softness to his features. He holds your hand. I’d like it if you stayed, too, he says. I’ve never really had a friend before, he says. I think… I think we could be friends, don’t you?
Of course, you say. Of course we’re friends.
He beams. Good, he says. Go tell him that! He motions to the throne where he sits—your Master. Alive and well.
Call out to him. Run to him. Collide into him, barely having left his throne. Cling to him. Master, you say. Master.
Aqua, Eraqus says, and it takes everything not to cry at the sound of his voice. Aqua, what’s the matter?
Fail to find the words. Hold onto him harder.
Are you homesick? He asks.
Yes, you breathe.
He kneels down in front of you, a hand on each of your shoulders as he looks over you with tenderness and care.
Do you… want to go back to your own world, he asks. Are you not happy here?
No, you shake.
You want to stay?
Nod. He smiles.
I’m glad to hear that, he says. I want you to stay, too. I see so much potential in you, Aqua.
He summons his Keyblade and flips it so the handle is pointing in your direction.
In your hand, take this key. So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its wielder you shall one day be.
Now, Aqua, he says. I’m going to ask you again, and you need to really be sure of the answer, okay?
Okay.
Do you want to live here in Land of Departure with me, and train under me to learn the Keyblade? Do you know what being a Keyblade Bearer means, and that once you take this Keyblade, you will always have to fight for what it stands for? Do you understand that once you’re a Keyblade Wielder, you won’t be able to return to your old world, and your old life before this moment?
Stare at your Master’s Keyblade. At the beginning of everything. At the choice you need to make. This was where it started. A crossroads in front of you. One path you knew the end of, another, completely unfamiliar. You had wondered aloud before if the lives you and your friends have were things you’d ever wish on someone else. You wondered if one Keyblade was more than enough for any friendship. And now, here you are, given the chance to change everything.
But, was it ever really a choice? On your old world you were alone, forgotten, abandoned. An orphan. You had no friends, no family. Every moment a struggle to survive. What choice did you really have? Of course you could never return to that life when this one offered you a home, a friend, a father. Was that designed? Did Eraqus pick you because he knew you’d have no other option? And what about Ven? If it weren’t for the Keyblade, you would never have met him. Your lights never would have crossed paths. Terra, too.
Grip the Keyblade’s handle. Accept all that it means: the mistakes, the tragedies, the hurt—but the love, too.
The Keyblade clatters to the floor. Eraqus stands over you. He glares down at you as his body begins to fade into the darkness.
I really wish you had chosen different, he says and then he dims and fades.
The light vanishes from the room, everything cast in shadow. Turn back around to find Terra, looking at his feet. Heart racing, reach out to him, grab his shoulder, try and get his attention.
Why’d you do it, Aqua? He asks quietly. Don’t you know what you’ve done?
He looks up at you, his eyes a piercing golden colour.
Everyone pays the price now, he says.
Only your heart is hollow enough to be a demon's.
Open your eyes. Nothing but pale light all around you. Chains along the wall light up into giant emblems. Get to your feet. Recognize your surroundings. The Chamber of Waking. Behind you, the lone throne and in it—Ventus. Hurry toward him. Call out to him. Run your hand through his hair, down to his cheek. His eyes are closed. Sleeping. Just as you left him.
You’re awful, Aqua, he says sharply.
Get caught by surprise. Begin to ask him what he’s talking about only for his hand to shoot out and grab you by throat. Feel his grip tighten as he wakes up and glares at you. Staring back at you is two golden eyes. Fight against his grip. Struggle for your life.
You failed to stop Vanitas from forming with me, he says.
You failed to stop him from forming the χ-Blade, he says.
And then you shattered it, and my heart along with it, he says.
Try to tell him that you did everything you could. Try to tell him you only wanted to save him. All you ever wanted was for him to be happy, for him to be safe, for all of you to be safe. That’s why you always tried to keep him out of danger, why you told him to wait in his room, why you told him to go back home. But all it ever did was push him more. Push him to fight. Push him to leave. Push him to run away. Were you really to blame for what became of him?
You broke my heart, he says. And then you locked me away in here and left me to
rot.
He gets up out of the throne and drags you to the wall by your neck. I asked you to put an end to me, he says before slamming you into the wall. And you didn’t, he says. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been in this prison? Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me?!
He throws you back against the wall, knocking you out. The darkness overtakes you.
No one can save you. And no one wants to.
Open your eyes. Stand up. You’re back outside the Land of Departure. The steps up to the castle are right in front of you, and standing in front of them is your Master. He watches as you take in your surroundings. The light is shining. The mountains green and alive. Everything looks just as it was the day you left to chase after Terra and Ven. It’s at this point you notice the clouds are not moving, there is no breeze. Paused. A moment in time, locked away.
It dawns on you that you could live here forever, in this moment. You’d never have to face the darkness again. Here, you could sleep in the comforting embrace of empty time. Here, you could be happy. Terra and Ven haven’t left yet. The tragedies that befell you all haven’t happened. What if this moment could last forever and ever. Haunted endlessly by what ifs and if onlys, here you could refuse to ask them, refuse to answer them, refuse to keep going. It’s comforting, and yet you find yourself walking towards your Master, knowing it will end.
Aqua, he says when you approach.
I’m sorry, you say, before he even says another word. I didn’t do enough. I didn’t try hard enough.
You promised me, Aqua, he says. You promised you’d bring them back. You promised they wouldn’t go astray.
I know, you say.
I tried, Master, you say.
Yes, you did, he says. He reaches out and takes your cheek in his hand, rubs it gently. He sighs as he looks at you.
I really wish that had been enough, he says.
A sickening blast erupts from behind. He gasps for breath as something strikes him in the back. Clutching his heart he falls forward before exploding into a thousand tiny lights, never to be seen again. Behind him, his Keyblade drawn, stands Terra. His gold eyes finds yours.
Terra, you scream, what have you done?!
The wind comes crashing in and you struggled to keep your footing as it whips about.
This is because of you, Aqua, he says. He puts a hand over his heart. It’s because of you that there is darkness inside me. Your light cast shadows on my heart. You pushed me deeper and deeper within them. What did you think was going to happen when you showed the Mark of Mastery over me? It only fed deeper into my obsession and your transcendence only brought more darkness.
It’s because of you that the Master is dead, he says. It’s because of you that I fell to the darkness. It’s because of you that Ven is broken. It’s all your fault.
Terra raises his Keyblade up into the air shooting a dark beam into the sky. It cracks open and begins to swallow the Land of Departure. Swallow your home, forever. The sky is dark, the wind howling, the life getting absorbed from everything around you. Fight to reach Terra, to stop him from falling even further. Tell yourself this isn’t who he is. Tell yourself that he’s more than the darkness inside him. Doubt yourself more than you ever have.
This is all because of you, Terra says. Just look there, you see?
He points to the sky where stars are blinking out. First slowly, one here and there, but the more you look, the more you see vanish out of existence. World after world lost to the darkness. Terra cackles and the sound of it makes you sick. You kept me from falling into the Realm of Darkness, he says, but all you did was bring ruin to the world. My darkness—our darkness—spreads from world to world, consuming everything it touches.
Terra’s hair turns silver as he begins to walk across the plaza to you. Shattered remnants of the worlds begin bursting forth from Land of Departure’s husk. The clock tower from the Castle of Dreams. Thorns from Enchanted Dominion. The casket from Dwarf Woodlands, shatters onto the ground. All around you proof of the destruction you brought forth. Rock structures break free of the mountains. Swamps and rivers drown out the training grounds. Cityscapes erupt from the earth every which way.
Stare up at the sky as hundreds, thousands of stars blink out all across it. Watch to your horror as the sky goes completely black, not a world to be seen.
Don’t you see yet? Terra yells. You’re the reason the worlds are falling. You are the beginning of the end of everything!
Scream for him to stop. Scream for him to end it. Fall to the ground and close your eyes. Bang your fists against the stone. Over and over again. Just stop it. Please. I can’t keep going on like this. I can’t do this alone. Stop it, Terra! Stop everything! Yell until your voice breaks, until you feel your firsts break against the rock.
I can’t do this anymore.
Please.
Just let go of everything and fade into the darkness.
Aqua.
Aqua, you hear someone say.
Aqua, can you hear me?
Open your eyes. You’re back on the steamboat. Back in the Realm of Darkness. Stop banging your fist on the wood. Look at your bloody hand, at the red smears you’ve pounded into the floor. Glance up at the source of the voice and find someone familiar looking down at you.
Mickey, you say.
The King is standing in front of you, in his hand a large golden Keyblade. Are you okay? He asks you. I’ve been looking for you, he says. How did you end up here, he says.
Don’t believe it. It’s just another trick of the darkness. Another illusion meant to destroy you like all the others. Get to your feet. Yell at him to stay away from you, yell at him to leave you alone, yell at him to stay back. He tries to calm you down, tries to make you lower your defenses. Of course he does. That’s what the darkness does. It finds the cracks in your hearts and does everything it can to turn them into canyons. Don’t let it. Draw your Keyblade.
He tries to tell you everything is okay, that you’re safe now, that you’ll be f—
SHUT UP!
You’re just another demon, you say. That’s all that exists down here, you say.
Aqua… he reaches his hand out to you. Refuse. Instead, aim your Keyblade at him. When he hesitates, take it as confirmation. Shoot golden chains out of your Keyblade, let them ensnare him in them. He struggles against them, struggles to reach you, to convince you. Control the chains with your Keyblade, throw him back and away. He bursts through the wood walls of the steamboat, and crashes somewhere off in the distance.
Run.
Don’t look back. Don’t stop. Just run. Faster and harder than you have the entire time you’ve been trapped here. Further and further into the darkness. Don’t care. Don’t question it. Just don’t ever stop again. Breath sharp and ragged. Heart racing and erratic. Keep running.
When you’re finally far away from him, from the steamboat, from the fallen world, from your past, catch your breath. Notice, for the first time, a card clutched in your left hand. It’s familiar purple backing with two hands with eyes in their centers taunts you. Turn it over. It’s you, again. An illustrated version of yourself all alone in the dark, a single long pale road winding in front of you until it disappears into the shadows. Beneath it the words THE PRESENT.
Realize, far too late, that you just lost your only chance of escape.