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Fanfiction ► KH Bloopers & Deleted Scenes (the lost chronicles)



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jk4eva

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Well I am bringing this back AGAIN, as I can't access my old thread..messed up...
anyways! This is for you people to laugh at and be creative as well..and luckily I saved a few so for those who haven't seen and want to read again, here ya go!




Sora at Destiny Islands relaxing on the beach.

Kairi then walks up and gives him a kick.

Sora: Owww! What gives?

Kairi *laughs*: Ah Sora, you lazy bum! Knew I'd find you here napping.

Sora: Give me a break, Kairi! *laughs* So what's going on?

Kairi: Well.....the thing is, Riku keeps flirting with me and talking about I can have him anytime I want. But....I don't like him like that.

Sora *happy, but trying not to show it*: Then you should tell him. In case he gets the wrong idea.

Kairi: You're right, Sora. What I need is some kind of plan, you know someone who could help me out so he gets the picture...but where could I find somebody like that?? *thinks hard*

Sora: Uh....Kairi?

Kairi: What?

Sora: What about me?

Kairi: What about you?

Sora *getting a little frustrated*: i mean, I could help you out in this situation.

Kairi: Ohhh..ok! So what do we do?

Sora *grins and chuckles to himself*: Well, we could....like "pretend" we're together. Let's start by...holding hands, *holds hands* then...kiss.

Kairi: Wow....that's a really good plan Sora. Did you just come up with that?

Sora: Uh....yeah! Ready when you are.

Sora *leans in closer, eyes closed about to....*

Yo brudda! What's happenin, man?

Sora *annoyed, turns to see Wakka*: Hey, can't you see I'm kinda BUSY here? *says through gritted teeth*

Wakka: I don't understand ya? How bout playing some ball?

Sora: How bout I stick that ball up your ass?

Wakka: I'm gettin confused, ya?

Sora *gets up, grabs ball and does a flip kick shot to the ball which hits Wakka to the middle of ocean*

Sora: Now, where were we? *leans in again*

Riku: Hey guys! What's up?

Sora *very pissed off*: WHAT??!

Riku: Nothin, just came to check on u guys....I wanted to talk to Kairi bout some......personal business.. *gives her a sly wink and licks his lips several times*

Sora: Who the f*** you think you are? LL Flippin Cool J??? We're busy here!!!

Kairi: Riku, I'm not interested whatever it is. Leave us alone, please.

Riku: What? You with Sora or something?? You like HIM over ME??!!

Sora *furious, gets up*: THAT'S ENOUGH!!! I'm gonna kick your ass!

Riku *laughs long and hard*: You can't beat me up!! *then gets thrown back* What the ----?

Kairi: That's right, underestimated me too as well! Come on Sora, let's 'Jackie chan' his ass!!

*They jump on him and proceed to beat Riku to a bloody pulp*

Sora: Whoo! Finally!! Now I think we were right about here..*finally kisses Kairi*

The end.
 

(~Perfection_Achieved~)

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I'm gonna repost my classics:

*Sora and Kairi are hanging out in Sora's room, the door is closed and Sora's mom walks buy.*
Kairi's voice: Wow sora!! you never said it got this big!
Sora's voice: Heh, you never asked!
K's voice: it's soooo long and hard!
S's voice: well that's the best way to use it!
*S's mom puts her ear to the door*
K's voice: can I touch it?
S's voice: sure, but not too rough or stuff will shoot out.
K's voice: really!! that's cool can I, pleeeeease!!
S's voice: ok sure.
*S's mom hears somthing hit the ceiling*
K's voice: whoa cool!!! I didn't know it could all do that!!
S's voice: wait, let me show you something.
K's voice: what?
S's voice: Riku showed me this, let me just stick it in you.
*at that moment Sora's mom busts in*
Sora's mom: STOP IT THIS INSTANT, GET AWAY FROM MY SON YOU HUSSY!!!
*as she look's at Sora and Kairi, we see that Sora is showing off his Keyblade to Kairi. There is a burn mark on the ceiling. And Sora has the Heart Unlocker equiped*
Sora: u-um sorry about the b-burn mark mom.
Sora's mom: Oh, that's Ok. um carry on.
S: well that was weird.
K: yeah it was.
S: so you wanna have sex?
K: sure.
 

jk4eva

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AUDITION SKIT - TAKE 1

Sora: I love to travel to different worlds, especially destroying heartless with my big trusty keyblade!

Riku: I love the darkness! *sighs* It's addictive...

Sora: Riku!?? What the hell are you doing here??!

Riku: I don't know, I just got bored. Why should you always get the spotlight all the time anyway?

Sora: DUH! Does KEYBLADE MASTER mean anything to you, dumb@ss?

Riku *angry*: Why I oughta............

Kairi: Guys stop!!! I'm sick of u IDIOTS fighting all the damn time!

Sora: Hey Kairi, did anybody ever tell you that you look very hot today?
*smiles and winks*

Kairi: Thanks, Sora. I LOOOVE your keyblade. It looks good on you.

Goofy *walks up to them*: Whoa! Gawrsh Sora! There's big trouble! Ansem's bout to try to take over Kingdom Hearts!

All three: Oh no! What do we do?

Goofy *shrugs*: I don't know... *walks away*

Ansem *appears behind them*: MUAHAHAHAHA! Now Kingdom Hearts is mine!! Now, I will destroy you three and fill the world with DARKNESS!!

Sora: HA! I have my keyblade, I will----

Ansem *takes away keyblade* HAHAHAha! Now I will----

All three *gasp in terror*: WAIT!!

Ansem *annoyed*: Oh what is it?

*All three run away*

Ansem: Oh blast!

Kairi: Oh no we're finished!

Sora: No, wait! I've got a plan!..

BACK TO ANSEM

Ansem *singsong*: Oh children?? Where arrre yoouuu?

Riku: Over here!

Ansem: Huh? where exactly?

Sora: A little more to the left!

Kairi: That's right!

Ansem *bored and angry*: I'm not seeing anything!....

Sora: Alright ready! SHOOT HIM!!!

All three come out with missile guns and shoot the hell outta Ansem *firing missiles*: ahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaahhh!

Ansem *drops dead*

All three: YAY!!

Sora: Whoa that was way too easy! Guess I didn't need the keyblade after all!

Kairi: Oh Sora! You were so brave...*hugs him*

Riku *talks to himself*: Well I'm taking it for myself. Hehehee *picks up keyblade and walks away*
 

jk4eva

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Ok, here's another oldie.......


Sora and Kairi sits at Destiny Islands watching the sun set

Kairi: Sora! Let's just take the raft and go! Just the two of us!
Sora: Kairi....I had no idea you felt the same way about me...
Kairi: Oh Sora...you're the only one I want to be with..*leans in about to kiss him*
Riku: Hey guys, whats goin--what the f***??!!
Sora *startled*: Uh.....hey Riku! Kairi and I were just...uh...I was just looking at something in her eyes...yes! that's it...*chuckles nervously*
Kairi: No, Sora. It's time that Riku learns the truth. I'm in love with Sora! That's right! You heard me, you manipulative bastard!
Riku *shocked, then gets mad*: Oh yeah? Well what about the other night??!
Sora *looks at both*: What's he talking about Kairi?
Kairi: I have no idea...
Riku: Don't deny it!!! You remember that night when Sora was sick and there was you and me in the shack......
Sora *gets up furious*: THAT'S IT!!!! BOTH OF YOU JUST GO TO HELLL!!!!! *walks away*
Riku: DAMN IT!! SCREW THIS!! I DON'T NEED HER ANYWAYS!!!!! *also walks away*
Kairi: Well, there goes my friday nights.....
 

Monkey

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*falls on the floor laughing* that first one..and the whole o_O;; sora and kairi in soras room one...OMG LMAO!!
 

SoulEater

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S=Sora K=Kairi R= Riku

*Sora's sleeping at the beach*
*Kairi kiks him*
S: ow....
K: Sora u lazy bum
S: gimme a break Kairi...
K: hm? ok
*pukks Sora's leg behind his head*
S: AHH S***!!!
k: What it isnt broken yet?
S: ow Kairi st-
S: OWWW
R: what u guyz doin?
K: Sora toild me to give him a break so im breaking his leg!
R: cool can i try?
K: sure.
*Pulls it so far behind his head:
S: AHH I THINK IT IS BROKEN!!
K: good i can leave now bye!
R: c'mon Kairi lets go have sex
S: WHAT I WANNA DO IT WIT KAIRI!!
R: looks like u cant, BYE!
K: bye sora!
 

jk4eva

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LAST SCENE – Take 1


Sora: Kairi! Remember what you said to me before? I’m always with you too. I’ll come back to you, I promise!

Kairi: I know you will!

(Cue the song “Simple and Clean”)

Goofy *starts to get emotional*: Gawrsh…Donald. This is so sad….*grabs him* Promise me you’ll never leave my side!

Donald *pushed him back*: Ah shut up, you over-sized DIMWIT! You’re ruining the moment!!! *watches Sora and Kairi* Why can’t I never get ANY??!!

Director: CUT!!! You two not supposed to say anything!!!! You ruined the moment! *stomps away angrily*

Sora: Way to ruin my moment guys!

Kairi *upset*: You guys……are…sooo…MEAN! *both walk off*

Donald *laughs sheepishly*

Goofy: What did we do? AHYUCK!


SAME SCENE – TAKE 2

Director: Alright, Sora let’s take it from the top. No fooling around this time. You know what to do. And………ACTION!

Sora: Kairi…!--- What the f***??!!!!

Director: CUT!!! THAT’S IT, I’VE HAD IT!!!

Kairi *pulls back from kissing Riku, startled*: Sora!...Uh….it’s not what it looks like…Riku made me do it!!

Riku: NO!! Don’t listen to that whoring beyotch, Sora!! SHE came on to ME!!! *pushes Kairi in panic*

Kairi *falls over the gaping cliff, screaming*

Sora: KAIRI!?!! NOOOOO!!!! YOU F***** IDIOT!!!!!!

Riku: Oops….I knew I should’ve stayed behind that damn door……….

Director: Oh s***. We are definitely gonna be sued for this…..
 

Jesus_Freak

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MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! MORE!!
Thoses are so funny!!
 

jk4eva

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Alright, you asked for it......:)


HOLLOW BASTION SCENE


Sora: Tell me. Who are you?

Riku *with evil sounding voice*: It is I, Riku….the seeker of darkness!....

Sora: CUT! Hey! It’s supposed to be Ansem!

Director: Sora, shut the f*** up! That is MY job!..... But yeah Riku, you messed up.

Riku *embarrassed*: Oh, ma bad….Can we start over?

Director: Alright, from the top and…….ACTION!!

Sora: Who are you?

Riku: It is I……uhhh…………….*long silence*…………..great! Now I forgot my line! And what happened to my evil sounding voice??

Director: Oh, uh apparently Ansem had a hangover from partying too much with the heartless last night. I keep telling him not to get addicted to the darkness…..anyways, we will find a replacement voice for you, let’s just get through the scene. ACTION!!!

Riku *with squeaky voice*: It is I…….what the f**** hell is this??!!

Sora *drops down to the ground, laughing hysterically*: Oh yes! Kill me, oh master of the squeaky!!! HAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Director: CUT! What happened??

Sound effects guy *high*: Fo shizzle ma nizzle….it ain’t no hizzle in da bizzle…

Rasta *also high*: yah my breggin!! Ah dis ah di life…

Director: Ah s***!! He got high on darkness!!!!

Riku: I wanna call my agent!!!!!!
 

its_beca

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jk4eva said:
Alright, you asked for it......:)

Riku *with squeaky voice*: It is I…….what the f**** hell is this??!!

Sora *drops down to the ground, laughing hysterically*: Oh yes! Kill me, oh master of the squeaky!!! HAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!
OMG! I love that part!!! The first time I read it I was also laughing hysterically!! W00T jk4eva!!!
 
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