well keep going leave he past behind think ahead
Fanfiction ► Keyblade Wars: Epilogue
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its still on ch. 2? come on dude update!
.:kao-chan:. said:
Working on Chapter 3 as we speak
I wish we had pics of them. You should try to find some that matches well with the given description. ^^
Pics of the knights? Well, that could easily be done. I'll work on it after I get chapter 3 up.
Umm...
What the hell? O__o
Sorry, but it's just kinda...confusing, in all ways.
I mean, there's a 'Leader' guy, then he suddenly...becomes unimportant. X__x
You make so much of a mention about him in the first chapter, then he's barely in the second chapter.
Confusing? Quite.
Otherwise, besides grammaical errors and some choppiness, this fanfiction has hope.
I'll follow it for a while. =D
What the hell? O__o
Sorry, but it's just kinda...confusing, in all ways.
I mean, there's a 'Leader' guy, then he suddenly...becomes unimportant. X__x
You make so much of a mention about him in the first chapter, then he's barely in the second chapter.
Confusing? Quite.
Otherwise, besides grammaical errors and some choppiness, this fanfiction has hope.
I'll follow it for a while. =D
Mr. said:
Im gonna post on the first post that "THERE ARE GRAMMAR ISSUES" haha. And anyway, Remember the secret ending, the guy walking towards the knights. That is the guy Im referring to as "Leader." And you don't know if he's not important yet, hell Im only in Chapter 2. He could be the main character (He's not). But, wait for more chapters and the story will unfold.
Blindfolded-Unknown said:
I know that.
But, you make a big issue about him, like they're looking for someone...important, and he isn't featured in the Second Chapter. D:
There's not even a conversation.
He's just there...then disappears, and they all reappear somewhere else.
But, anyway, I'll stay.
Mr. said:
Im not working on conversation that much. I mean right now there is only 4 people in the whole story. Come on, 3 mysterious knights and a mysterious brown cloaked guy. Would you think there would be much talking? And don't worry, you'll be seeing "Leader" again VERY soon. *Hint, Hint*
Oooh okay ._.
Maybe you should hint us somethings about the three knights past so we could understand their personality more. I want to know whats Arlene like
Maybe you should hint us somethings about the three knights past so we could understand their personality more. I want to know whats Arlene like
Here's Chapter 3 everybody. Hope you enjoy it. And here's a quick re-cap of what has happened
- They met Leader
- Leader dissapeared when the white cross appeared over the red heart shaped sun.
- Nioez fell into the darkness when the cross blocked out the sun and is now ALONE in darkness. (That is why Alrene and Roldul won't be there)
The only sound in the entire valley was the sound of Nioez's hard breathing sorrounding him. He said in his head over and over again "Don't be afraid" but, he was. He wasn't as brave as Roldul was, he didn't know how to deal with this. He was afraid of the darkness.
Nioez's hand quivered as he stuck it in the sand pulling himself to his knees the Kingdom Key weakly being held in his right hand, he afriad that if he dropped it he wouldn't find it again. Nioez looked up to the sky he able to see the cross now the red light from the heart shaped sun giving just a tad bit of light. Nioez grabbed hold of the small rusted pipe behind his helmet and broke it open air splurting out from it before he removed his helmet. For the first time in years he felt the air on his face, only there was no air in this dark hell.
Nioez held his helmet in his spare hand taking a step forward before falling to his knee feeling a strong push downward not allowing him to move from the spot he was laying. Nioez shook in place before taking in a deep breath trying to be strong, when Leaders words filled his head once again "Darkness... But, don't be afraid." He sounded as if he left something out, but they meant something more to Nioez now for some reason. He puffed out his chest and lifted himself to his feet before lifting the Kingdom Key up into the air. "Light!" He yelled it echoing back at him when his keyblade shot him forward a few inches the tip of it beginning to glow.
Nioez's eyes widened as a thin blue and white beam shot from the tip of the Kingdom Key illuminating the area around him. The beam shot into the cross and he could see it move from side to side before abruptly shaking and dissapearing into small little particales of white dust they falling from the sky very slowly and the red heart shaped sun was now glowing black.
Nioez felt fear fill in him again and closed his eyes searching for something within his heart "Courage." Nioez's eyes shot open and he took a step forward gripping the Kingdom Key tightly in hand. When he was blind sighted by a white light he lifting his bulky arms infront of his eyes before blanking out for what seemed to be hours.
Nioez lowered his arms to see a very small blue room, with metal tiles going down the sides of the walls with white cotton fixed into other parts of the walls. Nioez looked around the room quickly confused of how he got here when he spotted a man sitting there with a brown cloak wrapped around him. The man looked young, probably a little older then him, he had silver hair, and a small scar going down his cheek that looked new.
"I trust you know who I am." The man said in a familliar tone that had filled his head many times in the last day, the man folded his arms and reached for the chair on the side of the table pulling it out from under the table, as if to say "Sit down."
"L... Leader!" Nioez half yelled and fell back against the wall trying to comprehende how Leader got him here, and where exactly he was. Nioez glanced down to the seat pushing off the wall taking very short steps toward him, "Leader" folding his arms with a grin across his face when it hit Nioez. "Leader" summoned him here, he would wait for days for him to sit down since apparently the issue was important. Nioez pulled the chair a bit farther out and took a seat.
"Its good to see you without your helmet, Blonde Hair suites you better then iron" Leader mumbled jokingly as if this whole thing was routine, him inviting him here, the white cross, the darkness he acted as if the whole thing was planned and was his own idea of a joke.
"Why have you brought me here!" Nioez yelled before reaching his hand out, looking for the keyblade to appear in hand but, nothing happened. Nioez stared at his hand and shook it for a moment knowing it wouldn't help but, it was instict.
"Right to the point? Just like your kind... Well, the reason I've summoned you is of something that your kind have been dealing with your entire life, The Keyblade War" Leader grinned and lifted to his feet pointing out a detailed drawing almost looked like a photograph of the feild of keyblades.
"Keyblade War... But, where is Alrene, and Roldul... They are Knights of Twilight as well." Said Nioez his face was showing concern although he didn't show it around them. He did care very much for the both of them, and perhaps felt something more for Alrene.
"Don't worry... They are fine, haven't even noticed your gone." Leader said as he continued down the small wall of the room pointing out pictures of his world, the Gummi ship he was standing on, the valley of the keyblades, the three seperate keyblades, and then he pointed out the enemy of the entire war that forced a scowl across Nioez's face... A Heartless.
"What are you talking about! I've been in the Darkness, now Im here they must..." Nioez stopped himself none of this making sense to him and it beginning to get to him and make him feel uneasy.
"You don't yet understand... You know nothing..." Leader said his voice changing from jokingly to serious almost angry. He slamming his hands down on the table looking at Nioez with a scowl and reached his hand out the Kingdom Key forming in his hand and he handed it to Nioez.
"Remember... Nobody." He said in a very light voice just loud enough for him to hear when the whole room seemed to crash down around them leaving them standing in a void of darkness, Nioez reached out to try to reach for Leader but, Leader was already walking away standing on what seemed like nothing, and Nioez was falling just barely able to see Leader now, Leader turned his head over his shoulder before turning back straigtening his cloak when Nioez noticed the oh too familliar white cross on the back of the brown cloak.
To be continued...
Same deal as before... Give me some feedback.
Kao-Chan, each of the Knights personalities will unfold as the story goes on thats half of the fan fic. to learn about them. Alrene and Roldul will be back real soon. In Chapter 4! Hey look on the bright side you got something to look forward too.
- They met Leader
- Leader dissapeared when the white cross appeared over the red heart shaped sun.
- Nioez fell into the darkness when the cross blocked out the sun and is now ALONE in darkness. (That is why Alrene and Roldul won't be there)
The only sound in the entire valley was the sound of Nioez's hard breathing sorrounding him. He said in his head over and over again "Don't be afraid" but, he was. He wasn't as brave as Roldul was, he didn't know how to deal with this. He was afraid of the darkness.
Nioez's hand quivered as he stuck it in the sand pulling himself to his knees the Kingdom Key weakly being held in his right hand, he afriad that if he dropped it he wouldn't find it again. Nioez looked up to the sky he able to see the cross now the red light from the heart shaped sun giving just a tad bit of light. Nioez grabbed hold of the small rusted pipe behind his helmet and broke it open air splurting out from it before he removed his helmet. For the first time in years he felt the air on his face, only there was no air in this dark hell.
Nioez held his helmet in his spare hand taking a step forward before falling to his knee feeling a strong push downward not allowing him to move from the spot he was laying. Nioez shook in place before taking in a deep breath trying to be strong, when Leaders words filled his head once again "Darkness... But, don't be afraid." He sounded as if he left something out, but they meant something more to Nioez now for some reason. He puffed out his chest and lifted himself to his feet before lifting the Kingdom Key up into the air. "Light!" He yelled it echoing back at him when his keyblade shot him forward a few inches the tip of it beginning to glow.
Nioez's eyes widened as a thin blue and white beam shot from the tip of the Kingdom Key illuminating the area around him. The beam shot into the cross and he could see it move from side to side before abruptly shaking and dissapearing into small little particales of white dust they falling from the sky very slowly and the red heart shaped sun was now glowing black.
Nioez felt fear fill in him again and closed his eyes searching for something within his heart "Courage." Nioez's eyes shot open and he took a step forward gripping the Kingdom Key tightly in hand. When he was blind sighted by a white light he lifting his bulky arms infront of his eyes before blanking out for what seemed to be hours.
Nioez lowered his arms to see a very small blue room, with metal tiles going down the sides of the walls with white cotton fixed into other parts of the walls. Nioez looked around the room quickly confused of how he got here when he spotted a man sitting there with a brown cloak wrapped around him. The man looked young, probably a little older then him, he had silver hair, and a small scar going down his cheek that looked new.
"I trust you know who I am." The man said in a familliar tone that had filled his head many times in the last day, the man folded his arms and reached for the chair on the side of the table pulling it out from under the table, as if to say "Sit down."
"L... Leader!" Nioez half yelled and fell back against the wall trying to comprehende how Leader got him here, and where exactly he was. Nioez glanced down to the seat pushing off the wall taking very short steps toward him, "Leader" folding his arms with a grin across his face when it hit Nioez. "Leader" summoned him here, he would wait for days for him to sit down since apparently the issue was important. Nioez pulled the chair a bit farther out and took a seat.
"Its good to see you without your helmet, Blonde Hair suites you better then iron" Leader mumbled jokingly as if this whole thing was routine, him inviting him here, the white cross, the darkness he acted as if the whole thing was planned and was his own idea of a joke.
"Why have you brought me here!" Nioez yelled before reaching his hand out, looking for the keyblade to appear in hand but, nothing happened. Nioez stared at his hand and shook it for a moment knowing it wouldn't help but, it was instict.
"Right to the point? Just like your kind... Well, the reason I've summoned you is of something that your kind have been dealing with your entire life, The Keyblade War" Leader grinned and lifted to his feet pointing out a detailed drawing almost looked like a photograph of the feild of keyblades.
"Keyblade War... But, where is Alrene, and Roldul... They are Knights of Twilight as well." Said Nioez his face was showing concern although he didn't show it around them. He did care very much for the both of them, and perhaps felt something more for Alrene.
"Don't worry... They are fine, haven't even noticed your gone." Leader said as he continued down the small wall of the room pointing out pictures of his world, the Gummi ship he was standing on, the valley of the keyblades, the three seperate keyblades, and then he pointed out the enemy of the entire war that forced a scowl across Nioez's face... A Heartless.
"What are you talking about! I've been in the Darkness, now Im here they must..." Nioez stopped himself none of this making sense to him and it beginning to get to him and make him feel uneasy.
"You don't yet understand... You know nothing..." Leader said his voice changing from jokingly to serious almost angry. He slamming his hands down on the table looking at Nioez with a scowl and reached his hand out the Kingdom Key forming in his hand and he handed it to Nioez.
"Remember... Nobody." He said in a very light voice just loud enough for him to hear when the whole room seemed to crash down around them leaving them standing in a void of darkness, Nioez reached out to try to reach for Leader but, Leader was already walking away standing on what seemed like nothing, and Nioez was falling just barely able to see Leader now, Leader turned his head over his shoulder before turning back straigtening his cloak when Nioez noticed the oh too familliar white cross on the back of the brown cloak.
To be continued...
Same deal as before... Give me some feedback.
Kao-Chan, each of the Knights personalities will unfold as the story goes on thats half of the fan fic. to learn about them. Alrene and Roldul will be back real soon. In Chapter 4! Hey look on the bright side you got something to look forward too.
Last edited:
OMG it's Riku!
-coughcough-
Sorry...even if that isnt right im still a huge riku fangirl. That'd be cool if leader was Riku...but dont change your story if it's different.
I did find a few grammer errors. You should type this in MS Word and not directly here...if that is what youre doing.
So Nioez is connected to Sora...no? Is that why he has the Kingdom Key???
And why does his keyblade look all new and spiffy? Aww I bet it has something to do with the plot...update soon!
P.S. I hope I can become a fangirl of Alrene <3
-coughcough-
Sorry...even if that isnt right im still a huge riku fangirl. That'd be cool if leader was Riku...but dont change your story if it's different.
I did find a few grammer errors. You should type this in MS Word and not directly here...if that is what youre doing.
So Nioez is connected to Sora...no? Is that why he has the Kingdom Key???
And why does his keyblade look all new and spiffy? Aww I bet it has something to do with the plot...update soon!
P.S. I hope I can become a fangirl of Alrene <3
it was alright i guess..better than the first two..but im still not hooked..and theres not much suspense..idk itll get better as you progress so just keep giving it a shot and ill keep giving feed back
Blonde hair ftw! <3
I think I know something about the three knights
I think I know something about the three knights
Kairi&Sora 4ever said:it was alright i guess..better than the first two..but im still not hooked..and theres not much suspense..idk itll get better as you progress so just keep giving it a shot and ill keep giving feed back
It gave Kao some suspense. Haha, and didn't you read the end? That was supposed to add alittle bit of suspense. Oh well, I'll keep trying. My next goal is to throw in some Suspense.
I sometimes find metaphors and "death" a good friend of suspense...and cliffies <3 Dont worry, an idea for a good cliffhanger will come as you write more =P
.:kao-chan:. said:
Im trying here. Chapter 4 will be out tommorow by the way.
looks pretty good but try maybe going a little more in depth like put in flash backs of things tat maybe help people more to understand but hey good start man like the ethiusiasm in it[ idont think i spelled tat right] xD
^ me either! XD
I heart flashbacks. Kewl, i cant wait till tomorrow! =D
I heart flashbacks. Kewl, i cant wait till tomorrow! =D
.:kao-chan:. said:
I'll take that into consideation. Mabye, I dedicate a whole chapter to a flashback. I dunno, we'll see.
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