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Fanfiction ► Kairi's Diary

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New member
Jul 12, 2007
Chaos Empire.
It's killing me so much that I can't post anything. My laptop crashed and chapter 5 and 6 were on it!! I'm so mad. I lost my memory stick that I use to transfer from that computer to my desktop (since my desktop has Internet connection). Oh man, I've been waiting forever for it to get it fixed. And I typed about 40 pages too for chapter 5. If my laptop works again and if I don't find my memory stick, I will re-type the 40 paged chapter and post it :) This is maddening, lol...err...

I'm glad that you all like it though. I've never written anything this long before. So far, it's up to 137 + pages and I'm only starting. wow...


Notorious White Mage Captainess
Feb 14, 2008
Phantom Manor
Oh please hurry. I'm always afraid I'm going to log out, but one of these days I am going to recopy all of it so I can devour it at my leasure.


New member
Jun 9, 2008
Neverland (:
Ooh, it's okay if your laptop crashed..
ARGHHH computers are soo annoying!

But do your best to copy up the chapters! ^^

*crosses fingers*
I hope you manage to copy them lol!



New member
Jul 12, 2007
Chaos Empire.
Finally I got my laptop working again. Alright, so here's chapter 5. Um...I was an idiot for trying Old English. You'll know what I mean when you get there. I should probably erase that, but whatever....Hope you all like it! This is 15,000 + words, so it's pretty long (about 40 pages).

Kairi’s Diary​

Chapter 5​

“Kairi, what did Riku tell you yesterday?” Olette asked me with great enthusiasm the next day.

I called her up when I didn’t seem to have the courage to call Sora again just yet, maybe I will later sometime today. We sat on the swings in the isolated park late in the afternoon. The only other soul with us was a small boy playing by himself in a sandbox cluttered with weeds. It was hard to get a decent glimpse of his face since it was partially covered with his black hair. Such an innocent looking thing, I would have walked over to play with him, but I needed to deal with Olette first

I yawned sleepily, I wasn’t entirely awake yet and my eyes were a little red from the weeping that I did last night even though I know I shouldn’t have cried because of what had happened. Giving her an assuring glance, I said, “It was nothing really. He wanted to talk to me about…the weather and whatever was on his mind.”

Her face fell as if she had been expecting something more. “What? That’s all?” She pouted and sighed with a sad smile. “You’re not holding anything back?”

What should I say? I didn’t know, what was there to tell her? That Riku has these really weird ’theories’ regarding myself? No, that would be quite irrational. I had to lie, well partially really, but there was no other optional. “No, nothing else.”

“I wish he’d take me with him too one day,” she sighed sadly again, still not believing that he wanted me to skip the rest of the day of school with him. I couldn’t believe it myself either.

Patting her back gently, I replied with confidence, “It’s not all that worth it…” I wish she’d take my place yesterday instead of me. Well, we can’t change the past now could we? Riku wasted my time, I just knew I had a lot of homework to catch up on….great.

None of us talked for a while as she mused to herself silently. I perched on my swing in the empty park and looked at the soulless place we were in. It was sort of depressing actually, with no children around and such. The clinking of the rusty chains clattered with each other as I pushed myself to and fro slowly. Grass and weeds cluttered the sidewalks and other creaks and creases in the area. An abandoned park. I didn’t really know why no one was here either.

I took advantage of this silence to approach Olette about her and Naminé talking with each other and what not, although I really didn’t want to touch the subject. It would be easier to concentrate because I asked Marluxia to stay home for me, or to roam around wherever he wanted to go to at the moment. I thought that it would have been more easy for him to have a break from following me everywhere. He didn’t mind at all.

I took in a deep breath as I skidded to a stop on my swing in the dusty sand. “Olette?”


“So, what did you do yesterday? Anything special?” I had to bring up Naminé slowly and not just throw it out there or it might just go out into the gutters.

“Nothing much, I just went shopping with…someone.” She seemed to fidget in her swing as she answered me.

“Really? Who’d you go with?” I had to hold my breath to hear her small mumble because it was inaudible and hard for me to catch any words.

“Naminé,” she muttered very lowly. The crowing of crows by us picking out insects from the grass overshadowed her voice.

“Oh,” I sighed, not knowing how to proceed further. Take it easy and slow, I thought. That would probably be best. “So what did you buy?”

“A satin blue dress and some things to go with it.” She seemed to talk more openly after seeing my composed expression and response regarding Naminé. That’s right, slowly open up to me, tell me everything…

“Some party, huh?” I was still curious about that party that they were going to. Where was it? Who else is going? You know, things like that. “Must be something…”

“I hope so,” she beamed at me, placing her hands on her knees, rocking them back and forth. “We’re going to go on Saturday.”

Saturday, like next week Saturday? Hmm…I don’t think my aunt will be home by that time so perhaps I can go to this party after all. I doubted she would like for me to going to parties anyhow.

“What time?” I had to make sure it wasn’t going to be too late.

“It starts at 6:00 p.m. and ends at one in the morning the next day, maybe later,” she smiled at the timings, happy about it lasting for a long time.

I sighed with relief. Yes, definitely, if my aunt had been here she would not have let me go to a party that would last that long. Come to think of it, I had never gone to a party that lasted that long. What are they going to do during that time? The parties I used to go in Destiny Islands were mere birthday parties and small gatherings. We’d just have some delicacies with simple foods and soda or juice. For entertainment, I would play with Sora and just talk…what kind of party would last for several hours?

“Riku’s going with you still, right?” She looked a little sad but excited at the same time. I felt sorry for her because I knew that she wanted Riku for herself, no matter how much I resented that.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s nothing though,” I said in an uninterested tone to her so that she doesn’t feel that I was enjoying it, when I really wasn’t.

“I thought you didn’t like him,” Olette stared at me skeptically and placed a fist underneath her chin.

Gosh, I didn’t want stray away from my original topic of conversation, but I knew that if I didn’t get all the talk about Riku out of the way, she wouldn’t stay focused on any of my questions. Well, here I go.

“Olette, let me tell you this for the last time. I don’t like him, as friend or anything more than that. Ok?” I tried hard from loosing my head and gritting my teeth together from frustration.

To my surprise, Olette jumped in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes drilled heavily into mine as I craned my head to look up at her face. A faint shadow was cast over me as she came closer.

In a hard tone, she remarked to me, “You may say that, but your actions mean more than your words, Kairi. You keep telling me that you don’t like him, but that’s not what I see!! And I believe that he thinks so too!”

Remaining where I was, I blinked in great disbelief. “What do you mean?” I didn’t think she’d get so dark over something like this. Why couldn’t she just take my word for it?

“Riku looks over where I am all the time just to see if you are with me! He looks for you, not me, Kairi. And, I’ve been longing for him to talk to me, to say a simple hello even. Does that happen? No! He sees you and starts to talk to you, saying hi and wanting to skip school. And what do you do in return? I get to see you talking with him and agreeing to go with him wherever he wants to go to. Why? If you say that you don’t like him, why would you bother even going through with him in whatever he wants? If you don’t like him, then you wouldn’t have done that. He wanted to go with you to the party, and you agree to go with him?! He can’t even get my name right for crying out loud. I thought you’d say no for goodness sakes! For a hypocrite, you pretty much got all the basics covered.”

I stared at her with wide eyes. There was no word to describe what I felt about what she had said to me. My mouth was hanging a little, I had to close it before I lost myself. Shaking my head in disagreement, I did my best to explain my side to her, but I had to think for a moment. All she said pretty much did make me looked like a lying hypocrite, but that wasn’t true. There were reasons behind everything, but certain reasons I couldn’t tell anyone.

No, I didn’t like Riku for anything, that much was true. Why he continues to look at me puzzled me as much, and I still didn’t know the answer to that perplexing question myself. Why he bothers to talk to me when I clearly show no interest in him, I have no answer for that either. Skipping school with him was a different story. First, it bothered the devil Naminé, second Olette even looked like she wanted me to go, so it looked like she’d have no problem, and third, Marluxia suggested that I go see what he wanted to talk to me about. None of it was really in my interest or desire. I had decided to go with him to some silly party because it made Naminé jealous, but now I can see the fury Olette had with that. Oops, my bad.

“Olette, I am sorry you feel that way, but that’s not how it is, really. Trust me. I don’t like him. I don’t know why he looks or talks at me, I can’t give you an answer for that. He was bothering me to talk to him, so I went so that he can stop being a pest. Yesterday, you even gestured me to go, so why would you have a problem about that now? You‘re the one who encourage me to.” I purposely left out getting Naminé jealous as a part of the reason for going with Riku…

“Well…I….I…,” she was at a lose of words as she figured out what she wanted to tell me.

I thought about omitting the part about Naminé, maybe I should tell her. That was my priority anyhow. Quickly, I got to it before Olette could think of any more false accusations to point at me.

“I wanted to make Naminé jealous,” I spoke slowly, wondering if this was something I should be saying to her, the gossip, big mouth type. But, I had to get her attention and have some sympathy for me somehow right?

“Jealous? What for?” She perked up, a reborn interest in her voice and attitude.

How was I going to explain to her? “She did some mean, nasty things to me in the past, things that I can’t seem to get over. I just wanted her to feel, something, so I decided to make her jealous with Riku. But that’s not what I had intended to do at first, when I saw envy on her face when Riku talked to me, it just occurred to me.”

I waited for her comments.

“But, what did she do to you?” She looked at me doubtfully, as if I was lying about everything I was saying.

I didn’t forget about the note that she passed in class and what Naminé had written to her. I didn’t know if Olette believed it, but it seemed to be that way. I gulped, hoping she wasn’t another brainwashed victim from devil Naminé.

“She…she lied to people about me. That person,” I paused as I avoided saying his name aloud or letting it enter my mind as I reluctantly spoke about him, “and others believed the deceiving lies and…after that they didn’t want to be my friend anymore after that, no matter what I said to them. The things that were happening in front of them made me look,” I sighed here, “very ‘hypocritical’ when that was not the case. My words meant nothing to them after that, all because of her. I can‘t forgive someone for doing that, taking my friend way from me like that.”

“So she told some lies about you and in the end then people turned against you?” She took a few steps back from me, allowing there to be a descent space between us.

I nodded, although the ‘people’ she turned against me was my ex-friend. “I could go in detail, but maybe not now. But, trust me on this, she lies to everyone about everything just to get what she wants. And, when I see you talking with her, it breaks me inside. I feel like I am going to lose you to her and I don’t want that to happen, not with you.”

“Kairi, we’re still going to be friends. If I am friends with other people, that doesn’t mean I am going to forget about you.” She flashed a friendly smile at me, forgetting the anger and grudges she held in her heart.

“She isn’t a good person to be with though, I worry about that when I see you talk to her for whatever reason,” I hinted slightly, wanting her to explain that much. She retreated back to her swing beside me.

“We say hi and talk about a few things, but it’s not like we’re friends or anything like that,” she reassured me. But, something kept nagging me that I couldn’t accept that.

“Then why are you two going to that party?” I bit my lip in frustration.

“She invited me so I went along with it. I couldn’t say no, it may have been rude,” she replied as she slowly rocked herself in her rusty, old swing.

“But, did it ever occur to you that I might feel bad about that? Isn’t that rude?” This was not fair. Not fair at all. I hated where this was going.

“Kairi, sorry, I just didn’t know, Ok? Now, we’re all going to this party, and you get to go with Riku. You get what you want and I get what I want, seem good enough?”

Ha, I wanted to laugh in mockery so badly.

I didn’t say anything to her, I couldn’t make her feel very sympathetic for me or make the devil Naminé look bad enough to stay away from. I strongly believed that Naminé’s same interest for Riku was the core reason for her wanting to be her friend although she wouldn’t admit it openly. Naminé would be the perfect person for her to talk about Riku opposed to me who didn’t seem to care the least. I sighed in defeat. I will try harder soon, pushing my luck wasn’t going to solve anything.

I looked at the clear blue sky and gazed at it for a long time.


When I got home, Leon was gone and Marluxia still hadn’t returned from wherever he went off to yet. I sighed as I headed to the kitchen towards the phone. I wanted to talk to Sora so badly, I wanted to hear his voice on the other line. He was the most understanding friend I had, so honest and truthful.

Picking up the receiver, I dialed his number from the caller ID. The phone rang once, then twice, then a few more times before someone picked up.

“Hello?” greeted a voice.

“Hi, is Sora there?” I squeaked in a nervous voice that seemed to be an octave higher that it should really be.

“Whose this?”

“Kairi,” I sounded so quiet, unconfident. I just wished it was Sora who was talking.

“Oh! Hello, Kairi! How’s everything going for you in Twilight Town?” It got in my head that it was Sora’s dad who was talking to me by his voice.

“It’s alright,” I lied through my teeth. It was far from alright. I hated living here. Most of the people suck, like a lot.

“Good, good. Let me check where he is, ok?”

The line was silent as I waited impatiently. I was finally going to be able to talk to Sora! It had been a long time. I thought of all the things I wanted to talk to him and began to make a mental list in my mind.

“Kairi?” Unfortunately for me, it was still Sora’s dad on the line, and not my Sora.

“Yes?” I was leaning against the kitchen counter, drumming my fingers against the counter top.

“He’s not here right now. Would you like to leave a message for him?” he asked politely.

“Um, no that’s alright. Thanks, bye.” I hung up quickly before my voice revealed my bitter disappointment from his absence. Another great opportunity, lost.

I paced up to my room and plopped myself on my tidy bed. My eyes were momentarily distracted with the sight of the diary resting on my desk as usual, untouched by any other hands besides mine and Marluxia’s. I got up to retrieve the book, then lay back down in bed sitting upright.

Flipping through the rest of the many blank pages in the diary, I pondered over some thoughts that lingered in my mind. Was there another owner to this diary before me? Did anyone else write in it? And, just how did Marluxia end up living in a diary like this? What did it look like in there? Why was just a diary even created? How? When? Where?

I had reached the last page when I finished thinking about some of the questions in my mind. The faded pages gave the diary such a vintage look, so old and fragile. There had to be someone else who wrote in here, right? It couldn’t have looked so delicate if another soul hadn’t laid a finger on it.

The rose imprinted on the cover had to mean something as well, there must be a significance to it. I looked at it in great detail. The thorny thorns that jutted from the stem seemed poisonous and dangerous. The pink petals looked beautiful and enchanting. The familiar aroma drifted from the book as always. I didn’t seem to grasp my mind around the concept that the scent wasn’t ever fading out. It seemed to be getting stronger and stronger everyday.

I flipped to the first few pages that I had wrote in. Sighing, I thought to myself that my handwriting would look so much better if I wrote with a decent pen. Perhaps I should get a good one soon, that would do the diary more justice. I felt so ordinary, my handwriting didn’t seem magnificent enough to be even seen within the pages. Marluxia’s elegant cursive writing was gone, faded within the pages.

How could all of this happen anyhow? Was this some sort of miracle? And why did I end up getting this special diary? I began to wonder about who would have gotten it before me, that she or he would have been able to talk with Marluxia. I see myself to be lucky now, lucky that I got Marluxia into my life.

He’s a special someone, one who speculates a lot and observes whatever in his surroundings. It amazed me how beautiful he looked for a Grim Reaper, or Nobody as he called himself. He was so feminine, many of his features didn’t seem to be very masculine, but at the same time, he had this certain authority to him.


Marluxia’s melodic, sweet voice brought me out of my random reveries. I looked at him, happy that he arrived and that I wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. This Saturday wasn’t going to be a lonely one after all.

Smiling, I greeted him as he walked over from the foot of my bedroom door. “Hello, Marluxia! I’m so glad you came.”

I moved over to the side of my bed so that he could sit by me too. This time, I didn’t bother asking him where he went, well, not yet at least. His curious eyes remained on the diary that I still held in my hands, pondering over it. I looked at his marble skin as I noted a certain determination approach his face.

“May I?” he asked politely, pointing to the diary with a finger.

I nodded, handing the diary to him without resistance. “Of course.”

He looked at the cover then opened the first page with my first entry written in it. Then he turned a few more pages, glancing briefly at the words I had written before closing it once again. Turning to me, he asked in an interesting tone, “Do you like writing in here?”

“Yeah, I do.” I did like writing in the diary, it felt relieving from any worries I had. I could just scribble them away even though it might not fix the situation.

“I’m pleased to hear it.” He flashed me a smile.

I couldn’t help but ask a question of my own that popped in my mind. “Do you read whatever I write down?” I wouldn’t blame him if he did, the diary was really his home anyhow. He could do whatever he wanted.

“Not if you don’t want me to,” he answered, giving the book to me. “But I do once in a while…”

I didn’t mind and I wasn’t mad at all. “That’s fine.” I appreciated that he was honest with me and didn’t lie, not that I had expected him to.

“You aren’t angry with me?” He raised a brow in confusion, probably expecting me to be overprotective or furious that he read my personal thoughts.

“Nope. I would tell you any and every thing in the first place.” How could I get angry with him, it was so hard to do when he was so mystifying and delicious looking? “You’re my best friend.”

He let out a causal chuckle. “What about that Sora fellow?”

I flushed with a little embarrassment at his name. “Oh, him, well…he may be a little more than a best friend to me. But, it’s not anything deep if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“You miss him don’t you?” He placed an arm around me shoulder, I rested my head against his shoulder as I sighed.

“More than anything.” Ok, so, maybe there was someone who I would miss as much too if he was gone, but he’s sitting beside me so no need to say anything about that. “I want to see him again, soon if not now.”

“I understand,” he commented. “I know how it feels. The desperate longing and lonely nights of waiting. It slowly devours you…”

“Yeah, something like that,” I agreed with him. He was absolutely right. I didn’t want to seem so ‘desperate’ but that’s what it was getting to become like. How long could I stay away from Sora like this? If only I was there or he was here…

“Tell me, about Sora if you can,” he asked, wanting to know more about him. I didn’t mind telling some things, I liked talking to Marluxia about my personal things anyhow. He was just so understanding and was a good listener.

“Sora and I have known each other for a long time, from the moment I set foot on that island--”

Marluxia interrupted me for a moment. “What was the island called?”

I blinked at the sudden keen interest in his tone. “Destiny Islands.”

“Destiny Islands,” he muttered under his breath as he thought about something for another second. “Where is that?”

“Somewhere far, far, far away from here,” I answered although I hated to think about that small detail because it felt like Sora was even more distant from me. “To get there, I’d have to take a train. I can’t just walk there. That’s how far it is.”

“You’re the only one from there who lives in this town?” His grip around my shoulder seemed to tighten a bit. He leaned in closer to me, wanting to hear my answer.

“Pretty much, yeah. Well, besides my brother of course. But, he’s only been there a few times because he lived here more than over at Destiny Islands before…” I didn’t want to finish the sentence as to why we had to come here due to my parents’ death.

“I see,” he mused silently. “Please accept my apologies for interrupting. Please, continue. Curiosity got the best of me.”

“No, it’s not a problem.”

I had to remember where I had left off even though I had barely started speaking. “Right, so, Sora and I were friends automatically when I arrived at Destiny Islands when I moved away from my first home, Radiant Gardens. There used to be this small secret cavern behind this glorious waterfall, one which only we knew about. We’d go in there for hours every day and spent time drawing pictures on the surfaces of the rocky stone walls. It was so much fun, carefree and stress-less.”

I missed those times dearly. And I’m not even sure if Sora and I can even do that again, even though we’re older.

“He’s the most caring, selfless person I know. He’s so thoughtful about others and helps his friends out first before he helps himself.” I sighed. “To me, it seems as if he has the most purest heart than anyone I’ve ever met.”

I didn’t talk too much about Sora, although there could have been a whole lot more that could have been said. Marluxia stayed silent for a moment or two more. Another question came to me.


“Yes, Kairi.” He focused completely on me.

I felt a little nervous asking this. “Do you mind if you tell me any stories about yourself, or about how to the diary came about?”

I didn’t know if this was a way too personal question or if it would bother him, but to my relief, his face stayed calm and composed. Phew, he didn’t mind. This was going to be exciting because we had all of today and tomorrow to talk things through with each other without stupid school getting in the way.

“Let me think about that for a moment,” he said to me and went into a thinking mode. I waited for a few minutes, hoping he could tell me something. He was so interesting and it was bugging me that I didn’t know too much about his own life.

“Are you sure you want to hear about me?” He looked at me with deep eyes.

“Of course, Marluxia.” I almost wanted to shake him by his shoulders for keeping me in suspense. Just talk damn it, stop walking in the shadow!!

He closed his eyes slowly, looking forward. I leaned in closer to him, wanting to catch every word of his tale. I bet it would be intriguing and remarkable compared to my crappy life. This was going to be good.

He rested his head upon mine. Thorns of his raspberry hair brushed against my cheeks. His cold body made me shiver for a brief moment, but I got accustomed to it so it didn’t really bother me. I stole a quick glance at his face, straining my eyes to get a decent glimpse of his face. His eyes were closed as if he was sleeping. His seducing voice began to speak the words I longed to hear.

“Back in the late eighteen hundreds, I spent majority of my time in this isolated garden within the city of England. I merely found a radiant garden when I was walking by a forest. It seemed like it lured me in, calling me. Without thinking about it twice, I walked through it. The forest was beautiful, the trees were an appealing forest green shade. It was the perfect forest. I continued walking to the end to see where it would lead me. It must have been hours before I found this attractive garden. Roses, thousands of them were everywhere. There was a thin waterfall flowing in the corner, a stream of water ran through the garden.

It was a beautiful place, one I cherished the most. Day and night I would go to look at the roses there. The rich, vibrant colors left me in awe. I couldn’t spend even one day without looking at them. My parents didn’t mind too much, but they didn’t like the fact that I would do nothing else but speculate the beautiful roses. I didn’t want to negotiate with their wants and my desires. They got pretty much fed up with me, but I had begun to grow this certain addiction to those roses. I couldn’t leave them and if I did for too long, I would feel sick. That didn’t make sense to me as to why that would happen. It was late in the night when I snuck out from my bedroom window to the secret garden. I couldn’t sleep and all I wanted to do was go outside and just lay with the roses that I called my own.

It was a cold, moonlit night as I walked feebly through the trees of the forest. I was even shivering a bit because I didn’t realize that the cold would get so intense. Upon approaching the garden, I saw another figure peering through the calm flowing river from the waterfall. I stopped where I was underneath the shadows of the tree and stared at whoever it was kneeling down. It sounded like the person was sobbing, tears splashing into the endless river. I didn’t know what to do. Should I go or stay? Something told me to go forward, so I did without thinking about it too much. As I got closer, I got a better glimpse at the person. Her face was stained with tears, her eyes full of sorrow. I was standing beside her, but not too close.

I saw her face tighten when she saw my reflection in the river. Peering up at me, she hurriedly got up, wiped her face with the back of her hand and began to walk away from me. I didn’t want to let her go without first asking her what was wrong and why she was crying. I grabbed her wrist gently before she could too far away from me. ‘Wait!’ I had said, as she paused but didn’t look directly at me. ‘Please do tell, why thou shed thy miserable tears of pain?’

Gradually, she faced me, her face partially dry. Her eyes gazed upon me for a long time before she spoke, pondering whether to trust me or not. ‘Thou must leave this place at once,’ she warned me anxiously. She pulled her wrist away from my grip and used her other hand to dry the rest of her face. ‘Thou mustn’t come hither again! Ever!’

I didn’t know what to say but to listen to her warnings. ‘Why must I hence forth with thy heeds? Is there something amiss?’ I had asked her curiously as I took a step closer to her. She stayed where she was and continued to tell me her warnings. ‘Doth thou not understand what I say?’ I shook my head in disagreement and told her, ‘Not a whit, it appears that I doth not understand.’

‘A witch is among us, she shalt seek thou as well, please, doth heed my warnings dear boy.’ She turned to walk away again before I could as her name and what she really meant. It was heartbreaking to see her cry and not tell me what she was crying for. I wanted to help her at that moment, but she was already gone, deep within the woods. I wanted to run after her, but I had hesitated, not knowing if that was a wise thing to do.”

Marluxia paused briefly, as I took it all in. It was so saddening to hear this, and we didn’t get too deep into his story either. Perhaps something bad happens next? Maybe I should just stop asking about his past, let him forget it, dispose of it forever instead of having to talk about it. All those years of memories, good and bad, in his heart.

I placed a hand on his chest, “Marluxia, you don’t have to continue telling me this if you don’t want to.” I wasn’t going to push him to do anything. It wasn’t in me to do that, no matter how much I wanted to know about him. The pain that would hurt him inside would end up hurting me too.

I peered up at him to find his eyes still closed and peaceful. “I don’t mind, Kairi. It’s just my past. I’ve moved on.”

“Alright,” I replied back slowly. He was such a man, moving on and such. “But you can leave out some details if you want to.” Actually, I wanted him to tell me everything, but again, I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable even though I know he wasn’t going to show any sad emotions.

“That won’t be necessary,” he answered in a hushed tone.

“What was the girl’s name? Is she still alive? What happened to her? Is she pretty? Did you like her? Did she like you back? Oh, wait, did you two get married? That would suck if it you did because I wanted to come to the wedding…,” I paused. Hell, I really hoped he didn’t get married. “What witch was she talking about? Maleficent? What did she do to her? When did --”

Marluxia placed a finger on my running lips to shush me. “If you give me a chance, I might be able to answer all of your questions.” I felt a smile on his face even though I didn’t look at him to see it, I just knew he was smiling. That made me smile when he slid his finger slowly from my mouth.

“Sorry.” I felt utterly ridiculous, or like an idiotic moron who didn’t know when to speak. “But, before you go on, can you answer a few questions I have.” I couldn’t wait to hear those answers now.

“Of course. What would you like for me to answer first?”

“Did you two get married?” I did my best to sound casual, like talking about the color of the sky casual. I really, really had to get this one out of the way. I willing and reluctant at the same time to hear his answer.

He hesitated. This made me more nervous than I already was. Was it a yes? Maybe? Almost? What?

“No, I did not get married.” His voice was steady, so I guess he was fine with it?

I sighed with relief. Phew. “Oh.” Trying to hide my excitement, that was all I could say.

“Did you want me to?” he asked in return, reaching out to hold my hand.

“Did you want to yourself?” I shot back at him for fun. No, I didn’t want him to get married because since he’s my best friend, he might not have anytime to spend with me. I couldn’t think about that possibility. Never. He couldn’t leave me, not now, not later.

He chuckled humorously. “I don’t know myself to tell you the truth. But, what made you think that I wanted to married that woman?”

“It just seemed that you would have wanted to…by the way you talked to me about her.” It was true, he sounded as if he fell in love with her the first time he got a glimpse at her even though he didn’t verbally say it.

“I see,” he commented. “But you suddenly jump to conclusions, thinking that I have a certain interest in her without hearing the entire story first.”

“Pretty much, yeah. I mean, isn’t it obvious though? You see someone you’ve never seen before in the night and then BAM! The next thing you know, you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Isn’t this where you story is heading?” I couldn’t be that hard to figure out, right?

“Well, Kairi, you may be right, but in the end, it doesn’t turn out to be such a happy ending.”

“Don’t we all wish we had an happy ending to our lives all the time?” I asked thoughtfully. Yes, this was what I wanted everyday, every night.

“Kairi,” my brother called from down the hall. I heard him approaching my room. Quickly, I sat up on my bed, removing my head from Marluxia’s cool chest and reluctantly let go of his hand.

I didn’t know that he was going to be home, in fact, I hadn’t heard him at all until now. This struck me odd for some reason, I just hoped that he didn’t hear me talking ‘to myself’. Before he could reach my door, I was already hovering by it, peering out the hall to see him.

“What is it, Leon?” I asked, trying to get rid of him fast, but not wanting to be too rude at the same time. “When did you come home?”

“I just came a few minutes ago,” he answered my second question, stopping in front of me. I caught him looking into my room, glancing around. It was a good thing that Marluxia was practically invisible to him.

“Well?” I tapped the floor with an impatient foot and crossed my arms over my chest to show my annoyance, but really, I wanted to talk to him too. It had been so long since I’d seen him. “What do you need?”

Focusing back on me when he didn’t see anything suspicious, I noticed the open cell phone he held. “Rinoa wants you to come with us.”

The lack of desire in his voice made me want to laugh. I knew he didn’t like me coming with him and his friends wherever they went, but he didn’t have to be so unhappy about it. I was grateful his good looking girlfriend wanted me to come along, I thought it was quite generous of her.

“Really?” I wanted to go, wherever they were going to. I didn’t like getting left behind, missing all the fun. “Where to?”

“We don’t know yet,” he answered, I was pleased when he used the ‘we’ form, hoping I was included. “Somewhere for dinner.”

Dinner? It was late in the evening already? Time passed too fast for me these days. “When are we leaving?”

“In a few minutes. Hurry up and come down in five minutes, or I’m leaving without you.” He left without hearing my response as he placed his cell phone to his ear and resumed talking to his girlfriend.

I hastened to my closet to look for something decent to wear. Everything looked so bland and boring. My eyes stopped at a pretty floral dress, it was a silky white color with rosy pink and scarlet imprint of flowers sprinkled around. It was perfect, something cool for the weather and nothing too fancy. Slipping into it, I rushed to my dresser and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked so plain, nothing extraordinary stood out except for my light azure eyes.

Scanning the counter top at my scarce makeup, I picked up a black mascara and clear color lip gloss. I figured that the mascara would emphasize my eyes since I believed that they were the best feature on my face. For one night, I wanted to feel pretty without over doing anything. Opening a drawer, I looked for some jewelry. Nothing. I didn’t have anything decent. My necklaces were either lost or broken hopelessly beyond repair or my earrings were missing the studs. I didn’t even have a single ring either. My jewelry collection sucked really badly. I don’t even have that kind of money laying around to buy myself something nice or expensive. A gold emerald necklace would be great, or rubies, maybe pearls or a sapphire. Shutting my bare drawer, I looked myself in the mirror once more.

I saw a girl who didn’t have jewelry. I saw a girl who looked too plain, a girl who wore plain, boring floral dresses. Plain, insipid, uninteresting…

Glancing back to my bed, I remembered Marluxia. He wasn’t looking at me, instead he was looking intently as the diary. A guilt wave splashed at me when it passed by, I completely forgot him for a moment. He was in the middle of telling me a part of his past, and here I was running off with Leon and his friends whom I’ve never seen before. How rude of me.

Walking over to him, I sat at the edge of my bed. He looked up, placing the book to his side. He grinned cheerfully, “You look lovely, Kairi.”

I felt myself blush uncontrollably. From his voice and tone, I knew he meant it. “Thank you,” I said happily. “I’m so sorry, I should have declined their offer to go with them. Where are my manners? Would you like to come?” I hoped he said yes and came with me.

To my utter disappointment, he shook his head gently. A whiff of the sweet rose scent reached me as a few thorns of his hair brushed against his pale, glowing face. “No thank you, Kairi. I will stay here. I may even catch up with you later.”

My heart sank into my chest. “Are you sure? You can come, no one‘s going to see you.”

I knew it was pointless for him to come knowing that he doesn’t eat in the first place, but he would be perfect to keep me company. Sure, I might not be able to talk to him because there will be people around, but he could talk to me, telling me the rest of his tale. If not, I could look at his exquisite beauty.

“I’m sure, Kairi.” He flashed me a comforting smile. I wasn’t too happy that he refused to come, but I couldn’t force him to come. “I might come later, how’s that sound?”


He trailed a cold finger down my face, and told me in a smooth voice, “Go have fun tonight.”

“Kairi, I’m going to leave you behind,” I heard Leon call out from downstairs. He sounded impatient and restless.

“Coming!” I hollered back quickly, hoping to stall Leon for a few more seconds. Turning back to Marluxia, I bade my farewell. “I’ll see you soon, then. Bye!” I waved as I headed out, his smile melted my heart.

“Goodbye.” He took hold of my right hand and planted a gently kiss.

Upon reaching down the stairs, I found Leon pacing around. “Let’s go,” I said, heading outside.

He stopped walking in his small circle and looked at me. “What the hell are you wearing?” He walked over to me, poking at my dress. “I’ve never seen you wear this before.”

“You like it?” I inquired hopefully. Maybe I will look good in front of my brother just like I did to Marluxia.

“No, go wear something decent or modern. I might have a few shirts that out grown me,” he told me.

An invisible slap in the face by my own flesh and blood brother. “This is decent! I refuse to wear your clothes!! Whatever, let’s just go now. I don’t care what you think.” His negativity was really bringing me down on my self esteem.

Leon locked the main door to the house, then caught up to my haste pace on the sidewalk. He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets as his spiky red belt hung loosely over his leather pants. Sighing into the autumn breeze, he looked aimlessly in front of him.

“Where are we going?” I wondered at which place we were going to eat at.

Leon met my eye for a split second before looking ahead again. The corners of his lips tried hard from wearing a frown. I noticed the corner of his eye about to twitch. His lips pressed harder together. It was clear to me, he didn’t want to answer my question. A single strand of his chocolate hair lingered in front of his eyes, brushing against his red scar in the middle of his face.

I repeated my question again, louder this time. “Where are we going?” He better answer me this time or I was going to tell our Aunt that he comes home late every night as a small penalty.

“You’ll see when we get there,” he mumbled inaudibly, stealing another hefty glance at my attire. The ends of my dress flowed by my legs as we walked. I still wished I had a necklace to wear on my empty neck.

Leon seemed reluctant for conversation so I decided to pester him, just for fun. “Hey, Squall,” I began in a mischievous tone. “Which friends of yours are coming too?”

He winced automatically when I called him by his true name. Squall. I continued talking anyhow, “You gonna tell me, Squall?”

“Don’t call me that,” he grumbled, his jaw tightening. I didn’t know why he hated being called this name. There was nothing wrong with it, well at least to my ears and eyes.

“OK, Squall.”

Another wince.

“I’m serious. If you don’t stop, I’m sending you home,” he threatened to me, thinking he had some certain authority over me. Yeah right.

“You do that, I’m going to tell on you. So choose wisely,” I snorted back. Two can play at this game. If you knew the right drawbacks, things work out smoothly for you. And it did for me perfectly, Leon shut up after that and when I called him Squall randomly, he didn’t say anything to me.

“Squall, nice night isn’t it?”

His eye twitched. I smiled.

“Remind me to ask you for dessert,” I nudged his elbow. “Squall.”

The corner of his mouth fought from a retort.

“I can’t wait to meet the friends you hang out with, Squall. You should bring them home one day.”

Unintelligible words escaped his mouth. They were probably unpleasant words to begin with.

Actually, I was glad that I was going to finally meet his friends. I wondered what they looked like, how they were. Maybe I could become friends with them too? That would be wonderful.

The sky was getting darker as the sun faded away, as time dragged on. We reached the Market Plaza. I looked around the busy streets, wondering which restaurant we were going to eat at. Something expensive and lavish would be fun.

I spotted a really fancy, expensive, hard to afford restaurant and pointed at it. “Let’s go to that one over there!!” With his friend’s money, they could split the bill.

Leon shook his head in disagreement. “No, we already decided where to go, so that’s where we’re going.”

This gorgeous night was too lovely. I wanted to spend it at the expensive restaurant. Oh well. I drooped my head down and continued to follow him past the rest of the stores and such. The farther we walked, the farther we strayed from the festive lights and joyful crowd. It got darker and darker as we walked away. The mixed voices and laughs drowned and faded behind me. My legs shivered from my knees down, where my dress lingered at.

I felt my teeth clattered from the bitter cold of the alley. Where were we going? Was this the right place? Were we lost? I locked arms with Leon and walked side by side with him. Peering up at him, he looked completely calm and sound. My mouth opened then closed. What I wanted to ask was why we were even here to begin with but I lost the nerve to do so.

The deserted bricks had heavy moss adorning them, light vandalism was engraved as well. Weeds cluttered the creaks in the asphalt pathway. In the distance, out of our reach, was the faint barking of a dog. It didn’t sound like it came from a cute, cuddly dog, but a vicious, bloodlust dog. A chill ran down my spine and through the rest of my body. I wished dearly that Marluxia was with me.

To my right, there was another alley jutting from our current trail. Leon stood at the edge of it, so did I. Straining my eyes, I saw nothing but pitch black and in the far end was a flickering, dying light bulb. Flashing vibrant neon colors shone in letters against the wall, but I wasn’t able to make out what they said. Leon continued to walk down the dark alley with my clinging onto him. I began to wonder why Rinoa wanted me to come to a obnoxious place like this to begin with.

The muffled clatters of glasses and blended voices reached my ears as we got closer to the neon sign. There were rusty iron stairs leading down to a door in the end of the ally. I was hesitant to walk down the stairs, but with Leon next to me, I just followed him.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked me in a bored tone.

I shook my head, I didn’t want to go back down those alleys all by myself. It was too risky and dangerous. Who know what lay beyond those streets? There was nothing good to eat at home and I didn’t want to cook, considering that I couldn’t cook that well in the beginning. The voices and foreign noises began to get louder and more rowdy as we reached the entrance.

Leon opened it and I held my breath to see what was beyond those doors.

A thin trial of smoke escaped from the room and lingered above our heads. I held back a cough as we walked farther in, the smell of cigars and cigarettes submerged me. A strong combination of alcoholic drinks burned my nose. Imagine drinking them too…

Besides the disgusting stenches and smoke, I was aghast to see the people sitting at the tables and booths. Some wore bizarre hair styles, many had red or green dyes streaks of hair. Hardcore tattoos were shown on the muscular arms of dangerous looking men and woman. Ripped clothing and spiky accessories seemed to be popular among various groups of people. Too many to count, women wore such revealing and shallow clothing, they were a disgrace to the female gender. I couldn’t believe that they would stoop so low just to get attention, and the wrong kind of attention too.

Pool tables were occupied, the clashing of balls hitting against each other rang around. Large glasses clinked together as bartenders slide down foaming drinks to customers. Hard metal rock music echoed blusterously throughout the small place. The dim lights made it harder to make out any proper faces. I could see the lights of cigars clearly though, the smoke creating hefty clouds. I wanted to cough and run out, but I stupidly clung onto Leon’s arm. I regretted ever coming with him, and I regretted from not leaving either.

I looked at myself, the dress I wore made me look like a five year old in front of these bizarre people. I was a nobody hidden within Leon’s shadows. No one noticed me at all, it was like I was invisible. At times like this, I didn’t mind being invisible. Being invisible seemed to be a great option to me. When Leon asked me to wear something more ‘decent and modern’, I should have done so. He could have warned me beforehand…but of course, if he told we where we were going, then he was afraid I would tell on him.

Leon scanned the horrid crowds until he spotted a group of somewhat better looking people in the corner of the room. Walking pass through the maize of tables, I accidentally jabbed my elbow into a girl’s bare back who sat too far out in the narrow space.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologized hurriedly. “I didn’t mean it.”

Her cruel eyes cut through me as she glowered angrily. She was about to cuss or say something terrible but stopped when she saw what I wore and how young I looked. Instead of speaking a chain of profanity, she broke out in laugher. It sounded like a hyena shrieking in my face. I flinched. Forgetting her anger, she turned around from me and moved on with her wasted life chatting with her weird looking friends.

Leon led us to the far end of the room in the corner, it was the brightest there. Thank goodness. Light. I thought that there would be smoke and such around that table, but I was wrong. There wasn’t the faintest trail of smoke to be seen. But I did see beer glasses. Ew. Wait, did Leon drink too? If he does, I’m definitely telling.

I counted nine heads. Wow, I didn’t know that Leon had this many friends. He may have more I bet. Leon took a seat beside his cherished girlfriend Rinoa, the only face I knew. His friends were surprised to see me, astonished at what I wore too. I felt like an idiot. I felt far from pretty, I felt out of place and ridiculously stupid.

“Everyone, this is Kairi. Don’t pay too much attention to her.” Leon gave his lacking greeting to me in front of his friends. I felt so welcome. Not. Leon pointed at everyone unwillingly, starting counterclockwise from himself. “That’s Tifa, Cloud, Reno, Vincent, Cid, Yazoo, Yuffie, and Paine.” Next to the girl named Paine there was an empty seat next to her, the seat separating me from her.

She fiddled with her raven nails, not bothering to acknowledge my presence like everyone politely did. Something about her struck me odd, something about her jogged my memory. The hair, the dark clothing…what was it? Her gloomy expression, I remember seeing it somewhere. But where? It hit me when she caught me staring at her. The unwelcoming look in her eyes jerked the memory out from my head. I remembered now, she was the girl that glared at me just like that in the girls’ bathroom yesterday when I was washing my hands after hitting Riku by mistake.

Her firm glare got me looking down at the scratched table surface instead of at her face. How could I not see it before? Those red eyes, the dark eyeliner beneath them and the black attire. She was a part of the Gothic clan at my school. But, she looked too old to go to a school, a high school yet she was there almost everyday. Did she fall a grade behind? Was she just there? But why? She was one of those people who sat miserably at the table beside the one I sat at during our lunch break in school. I believed she was with those other Goths underneath the large tree in the school’s courtyard. Another thing I realized, she was Leon’s friend. I didn’t think he’d ever have a friend like that. I was thankful about the chair that separated us, at least there was some sort of barrier in between.

A waitress came to our table, asking us what we wanted. I then took the time to briefly look at the menu laid out in front of me. Nothing looked appetizing to me. Everything sounded unfamiliar or was made with rum. I sighed in frustration, thinking of how I should have stayed home and cooked myself dinner. If not, I could have just ordered take out. What a big mistake I made. I looked up at Leon who was busy getting scolded by Rinoa.

“What were you thinking?” I heard her say to him, wagging a finger in his face. “Were you even thinking at all?”

“You asked me to bring her,” Leon fought back, realizing his mistake. “I didn’t know you guys would change your mind last minute on where to go.”

“Do you really think this place is suitable for her to come to?” Rinoa asked in a stern tone. I hated it that they were talking about me, that I was the cause of her worry.

“Well…” Leon was at a lost of words. “I asked her if she wanted to go home.”

Rinoa rolled her gorgeous eyes and looked away from him. She caught my gaze and smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry you were dragged into this dumb place. I hate it here too if I do say so myself.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind,” I lied to make her feel better. She didn’t know we were going here, I didn’t blame her too much. I blamed Leon entirely.

I sighed at slouched in my chair. Feeling like a total loser and idiot wasn’t any fun. My mind drifted to a reverie, I thought of how it would have been if we were at that expensive looking restaurant I saw before we came here. No one there would have looked like an outcast or a freak. Everyone would have dressed formally or something more suitable. My dress would have blended in just right. I wouldn’t have looked like an idiot. We could have ate something good without any rum in it. I sighed again. Thinking about this made me more sad inside because it wasn’t really happening.

“Kairi?” a confused voiced called my name next to me.

Someone sat in the empty seat that separated Paine and me. He scooted his chair closer into the table and placed his hands on the table, smiling at me with happiness dancing in his aquamarine eyes.


“What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise, I didn’t expect him to be in a wasteland place like this, oh wait no that was a lie. A total lie. It does make sense that a person like him would come to a place like this.

He didn’t answer my question because he was too busy taking note of my dress. “Nice clothes,” he commented. I wanted to slap him, but I didn’t say anything. In truth, I felt it was a little more comforting to see another face I knew in a place like this.

“You’re a friend of Leon’s?” This was still shocking to me. What was Leon doing making friends with stupid, crazy Riku?

He nodded his head, a few of his silver strands moved out from his eyes. “Are you?”

Idiot. This showed how much he knew about Leon’s life, not a lot apparently. “No, I am more than that.”

His brow shot up. “Oh really? How long have been dating? I thought that he had a girlfriend already. Interesting…”

I gritted my teeth bitterly. “You have to be kidding right? We’re not dating. Don’t even say that!”

“It was a secret then?” He took a sip of his beverage, I couldn’t tell if it was beer or coke.

“I’m his sister you dimwitted moron,” I spat out finally. His stupidity made me wonder if he had a brain or not.

He put his drink down with a soft thud. “Oh…”

I looked away from him. This was so pathetic. I didn’t want to be here. The door wasn’t too far away, maybe I should walk through the mass of crazy people and run out all the way to Marluxia. He said he’s join me soon, but I don’t know if he’d want to walk in a trashy place like this. I had no idea places like this was in a town like this, even more, I couldn’t believe that Leon came to places like these. I sighed inwardly, Marluxia is too classy to come down here. I was stuck here.

But maybe if I asked someone to walk with me outside, I could make it out just fine. But who would I ask? I didn’t want to look scared or back out and show weakness. If I stick it out, that may say something to Leon’s friends and they would look at me differently.

I should take some time to know the people here since they are all in front of me. But the only person I didn’t seem to be too comfortable with was Paine. The name suited her well I believed, she looked like she could cause pain to others. Forget her. Next person.

What was her name? Yuffie? She looked entertaining with her short, cute haircut and pretty face. Perhaps she’d be someone fun to hang out with and talk to. She seemed to be the violent kind with that slight ninja look to her. What if she got mad at me? Would she hit me out of anger?

The boy with the long silver hair, named Yazoo, reminded me a great deal of Riku. He had the same aquamarine eyes as Riku, the same skin complexion, and they looked really similar. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were brothers, actually, I think they are. No need to ask since it’s too obvious. But, I didn’t think that being friends with him would help at all because every time I’d look at him, it would be like looking at annoying Riku. It’s like he was Riku’s twin, I couldn’t handle that. Nope.

Cid. Ew. What to say about him…he looked too old and crumbly. Wait, he is an old man. I am not going to be friends with anyone like that. EW.

The deep red cape caught my attention. Vincent looked so mysterious and secretive. He looked like the kind of person who doesn’t want to talk to others and deal with their problems. Yeah, he’s definitely not the right candidate to become friends with.

Reno looked cute, I had to admit that. His blazing red hair was too much for me though. It reminded me of those people who had dyed their hair here. He wore a black suit with a white shirt inside though, that did impress me. In fact, he was the most well dressed person here. But to be dressed like that, he’d probably have to be an important person. Important people don’t have time for other people, that may include me too. It would be like not having a friend at all if they’re always busy with what was more important to them…

Cloud looked depressed. Or maybe it was just me because he resembled Sora a great deal. His wild spiky hair gave him that resemblance. He toyed with his phone, pressing random buttons. When it rang, he’d stare at the caller ID or something until it stopped ringing. Then, he’d open it and listen to any voice mail the person left behind. You know, if I called him, I don’t think he’d pick up. I don’t know why he didn’t pick up instead of listening to the messages. I doubted that he’d call back to the person. This screamed to me that he neglects and isolated himself from others. The phone beeped again and he just stared blankly at it, not answering. A moment or two later, he’s listen to the voice mail. Not the person to be friends with. At all. Ever.

Tifa looked pissed at Cloud. She glared at his black, thin cell phone, wanting to throw it out or destroy it to pieces. I felt bad for her, along with feelings of great sympathy. Her long black hair was lied at the end, her fair skin was complimented by her hazel eyes. She was so beautiful. Cloud, who was sitting right next to her, was too blind to see that. He had something irreplaceable beside him, and here he was ignoring her. She rested her head on one hand and stared at him, he was too occupied with the cell phone buttons to even notice. Chugging some beer, or whatever it was, she continued to stare sadly at him. We could be friends, both of us had similar problems, well maybe not exactly, but we both felt lonely or forgotten. Perhaps one day I could try talking to her. I would right now, but I was too scared to even open my mouth. I might say something weird and ruin my first impression, not that it wasn’t already destroyed already.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, making me look at Riku once again. “What?”

“Why’d you come?” Riku asked, the music drowned his voice out but I could still hear him…barely.

“I don’t know.” That much was true. I shouldn’t have came. This was no fun.

It seemed that he didn’t hear what I said. “Huh?” He leaned in forward to me.

I repeated myself one more time. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t have came though.”

My throat was parched, I longed for a cold glass of ice cubed water. Everyone’s body heat got to me and I started to sweat. Drops of perspiration slide down the sides of my forehead. Taking a napkin, I wiped my face dry. I took in a deep breath of the musty air. For someone who seemed to dress normally in the outside world, looked like a total outcast in a place where people would have looked like outcasts in the real word. Ironic isn’t it?

Riku nodded his head, indicating that he heard me. His mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear anything over the ridiculously loud music.

“What?” I asked, trying to let him know that I couldn’t hear him. Not that I cared about what he wanted to tell me anyhow. An ill mannered woman began to yell and holler in the background with the music, that didn’t help at all either.

He was about to lean in closer to me when someone tugged him hard back from me. I peered behind him, Paine was still holding onto his arm. He looked at her once then didn’t look at me. I saw Paine’s lips move, but again, I couldn’t make out any words. Riku said something in return and sat back in his seat, not looking at me.

Out of curiosity, I raised my voice louder and asked, “What did you say?”

He looked ahead of him, ignoring me as if I didn’t exist. I didn’t get mad exactly, but I was a tiny bit desperate because I wanted someone to talk to, even if it did mean I had only Riku to talk to. I looked down at his shoes then gently kicked his leg to get his attention from underneath the table so that Paine’s hawk eyes couldn’t see me.

I watched Riku’s face, but he didn’t look at me. I kicked him harder this time, he grunted softly but still refused to look at me. I heard a chair screech, it was Paine moving in closer to Riku. I did the same, I moved my chair slowly and gradually when she wasn’t looking. But whenever she did gawk rudely at me, I pretended as if I wasn’t doing anything in particular.

Riku closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. For what reason, I don’t know, but I wanted to poke him. I was so bored, I didn’t want to embarrass Leon by calling him Squall in front of his friends, so my only other option was Riku. Paine was playing with the melting ice cubes in her drink with her straw, too busy to see my hand slowly approaching Riku.

My index finger found a spot, then I poked him gently. He didn’t open his eyes so I did it again, but a little harder the next time. It was fun, I guess. But poking his arm didn’t get him to open his eyes or bother him. I decided to pinch him instead, and that’s exactly what I did. My nails weren’t very long or sharp, but I pinched him regardless. I placed my hand above the part of his arm that was facing me. I didn’t pinch him too softly, but he didn’t wake up either. I sighed with annoyance. Wake up already!!

I would have called his blasted name, but Paine would hear me and throw me more threatening looks, not that I wasn’t already scared to be here. His silver hair was so long, I felt like tugging it. My hand trailed from his arm to his hair. When I touched it, I felt as if I was touching silk. His hair was that soft. I couldn’t believe it. After feeling how smooth is was, I didn’t want to pull it. I wanted to play with his hair, braid it or something. Yeah, braid it.

I took a part of his hair and split it in to three thin strands then started braiding. I was a good braider, I used to do this all the time to Olette and myself. This was so much fun, I didn’t want it to end. I caught Paine’s eyes glaring at me then look away. She didn’t say anything to me but then she looked intently at Riku. My stupid hands continued to braid his hair, and I couldn’t stop myself, I had to keep going. Paine looked from Riku’s calm face to my intimidated one until her angry glares made me stop and put my hands down in my lap.

Fun sucker.

She grabbed Riku’s soft hair violently then yanked it. Riku’s eyes shot open just like that, his face in somewhat pain. Pain caused by Paine. He bit his lip in agony because when someone pulls your hair as hard as that, you’d want to scream too. He rubbed the side his head, the part where she pulled him at. She continued to mess with her ice in her beer glass when Riku sat back.

He stole a quick glance at me, then looked at Paine. I didn’t dare look at her and kept my focus on Riku’s face as she told him something that I couldn’t hear over the noise. Then, he got up, scooting his chair back as Paine took his place. He slide the chair in for her and took her seat afterwards. Now, Paine was the person who separated me from Riku. I didn’t like that. Why? I preferred sitting next to Riku than Paine because she looked so freaky and dangerous looking. Was she like some over protective sister or something? I didn’t really like those kinds…

As secretly as I could, I slide my chair sideways away from Paine and towards Leon who sat next to me. Thank goodness for that!! Leon’s friends chattered away, none of them including them in their conversations. Riku didn’t talk to me since he was sitting away from me. Paine didn’t bother to look at me either.

A moment later, the shabby looking waitress came over with drinks and who knows what else. She gave everyone a big, clear beer glass. I looked at mine in horror. It was poison in a glass. Disgusting. I wanted water or a soda instead, but was too intimidated to ask. I pushed my glass away, and stared at the air bubbles that floated around and the white foam at the top that oozed down the side of the glass. I sighed again.

I looked around at the other tables and such. The placed seemed to be more fuller. The later it got, the more crowded it became. I wanted to get out now. I nudged Leon and when he looked at me, I whispered in his ear if he could take me home. Leon looked like he was enjoying himself, he didn’t want to leave. But when he saw how miserable I was, he softened up and decided to take me home after all. I was glad and hurriedly got up and followed Leon out, clinging onto him real tightly. The woman I had bumped into earlier was still around, I made sure I didn’t get too close to her. She might have the sudden urge to punch me.

We were out the door, the sounds of voices and clashing faded away as we walked up the iron stairs and entered the alley. Leon didn’t say anything and neither did I. I clung onto him harder, but he didn’t complain and let me do so.

“I shouldn’t have taken you here,” he said to me. “Sorry.”

“It was fun,” I lied again, doubting he believed me but I wanted to make him feel better for deciding on doing so stupid. I looked at him one more time. He didn’t exactly look like the people I saw in there, but he blended in. “I didn’t know you were like those people.”

Leon’s eyes flickered. I didn’t think he expected me to say something like that to him. He looked down at his boots then at me. “I’m not. Well, not exactly.”

I sighed but didn’t say anything as we walked slowly. “So why do you go to places like this?”

“It’s not like I do anything,” was his mere answer.

“Leon,” called a voice from behind us. Leon stopped walking and peered behind his shoulder. I didn’t bother looking back, I rested my tired head against his arm. I wanted to sleep, but I fought my eyelids from closing.

“Let me take her,” Riku offered to Leon. Gratefully, Leon peeled himself off from me and handed me to Riku. I scowled at Leon when he walked away from me.

“Where are you going?” I called after him before he got too far away. “Come back!”

“Riku will take you,” he said to me and went off, down the stairs and into the bar.

Sighing, I began to trot down to the end of the alley with Riku walking close by to my side. I didn’t want Riku, I wanted Leon. I couldn’t hold onto Riku’s arm like I could with Leon. It wasn’t the same.

“You haven’t heard have you?” Riku broke the silence that I wanted to last. Curse him. Curiosity got the better of me.

“Heard what?” My eyes were beginning to adjust to the bleak darkness we were walking through as I tried to pay attention to him at the same time. The dripping of water sounding from somewhere made me uncomfortable. I could hear a dog, but it seemed to be closer than I thought it was. Under my breath, I cursed myself.

“So you haven’t heard yet,” he muttered, chuckling to himself. “I should have figured, you didn’t react as I thought you would.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whispered, he was confusing me now. The barks of the dog got nearer. There was a small distance between Riku and me.

“You’ll find out at school. But to tell you in advance, I don’t think that was really what you did or meant.” He couldn’t help but to hold back a laugh. I rolled my eyes instead, I was too tired to care what he said.

We turned the corner into the other alley. It was too dark to see anything. I saw a few burning embers or something like that floating midair. It took me a few seconds to get through my head that they were cigarettes being smoked by eccentric people. I froze. Walking through them and their cloud of smoke wasn’t something I wanted to do.

Riku stopped too when I halted. “Do you want to wait?”

I nodded my head. Waiting for a minute or ten didn’t sound like a bad idea. Maybe they would be done and we could get passed through easily when they left. If they didn’t go soon, then I would sit and wait until Leon came back. If those people didn’t go away in ten minutes, I would go back to Leon. I wanted to hurt him for leaving me with Riku. Grumbling, I quietly made my way to the far corner of the brick wall and sat down because my legs were about to give out. The cold asphalt ground made me shiver when I made contact with it.

Riku slid down next to me, his shoulder against mine. There was no distance between us now, his knees touched mine too. The warmth emitting from his body warmed my cold body. I didn’t shiver as much when he sat next to me. Normally, I would refuse this sort of contact, but I was so cold and frightened to even care. It didn’t mean anything.

Riku inhaled, then slowly exhaled. I couldn’t see his face too clearly in the dark, but I knew he was smiling due to the cheeriness in his voice. “Nice braid,” he said out of nowhere.

I remembered the braid I made was still in his hair. The sudden movements of his hands told me that he was undoing it, flattening his hair out like it was before. “Sorry about that, I was bored.”

He didn’t mind and moved on. “I felt you touching me but I didn’t bother stopping you,” he remarked, a smirk on his face I bet.

“Why not?” I imagined that if he knew what I was doing, he’d get upset. Last time I checked, guys don’t wear braids in their hair. Wait, or did they? I couldn’t remember, my mind seemed to dysfunction from all the smoke I breathed in.

“I don’t know,” he mused. “I liked the way you touched me. It felt nice. You’re hands are so soft.”

Yuck. Was he trying to hit on me or freak me out more than I already was? I scooted away from him, he laughed quietly as I hissed at him. “Shut up!”

“I’m just saying,” Riku replied, still thinking it was amusing.

I didn’t say anything to him and he didn’t say anything to me. Bringing my knees to my chest, I rested my head on them and wrapped my arms around my stomach. I wanted this nightmare to be over and end as soon as it could.

“So,” Riku said out loud, “what’s going on between you and Omelet?”

Omelet? He meant Olette right? I wanted to correct his mistake so that the next time, he couldn’t get her name wrong. I hoped that would make Olette feel somewhat better. “Her name isn’t Omelet. It’s Olette.” My voice was a tad bit muffled since my head was buried on my knees.

“Is it now?”


“So, what’s with you two?” he asked again, not really caring what her name was.

“What do you mean?” He wasn’t letting me have some peace of mind unfortunately.

He took in a breath. “Are you two fighting?”

How did he know this? “We weren’t exactly fighting. We just came to a disagreement.”

“About?” He seemed so eager to get into my life. Fool.

“What does it matter?” I retorted. If he’d shut up, that would be wonderful.

“Was it about me?” Since he already knew the answer to his dumb questions, I didn’t understand why he bothered to ask me to begin with.

No point in lying because I was such a bad liar. “Yeah, it was.”

He remained silent while I tried to figure out how he even came to know this much, or was he just bluffing? If he was, well then, he got me.

I leaned back on the ruby red bricks behind us. It scrapped my back so I leaned forward again. This was terrible, I glanced at the smoking people. They were still there. Squinting, I saw they had a dog with them too. It stopped barking but it didn’t look small, it looked enormous. I shuddered. I hated those kinds of bloodlust looking dogs.

“Tell me about it,” he gestured me. I didn’t want to though, not even if he begged.

“I’d rather not.” I sat up straight and looked at him directly in the eye. “There’s no point.”

“Since it’s about me, maybe I can help you,” he offered like he was such a generous, caring person. Hell, not in my eyes.

“How?” If he could help, like he was suggesting, then it might do some good in the long run.

“If I know what’s going on, I could offer something. But you’re not telling me anything, so I don’t know what to tell you,” he told me, sliding closer to me.

“You better not be bluffing,” I remarked. The last thing I wanted was to be deceived. You can’t trust guys, that’s what I’ve learned. My mother used to tell me that the guy who wanted to marry you was the one to trust the most because they were willing to spend the rest of their life with you. Riku wasn’t interested in marrying me, so he was considered to be one of those unworthy, untrusting guys on my list.

“Try me,” he provoked, his tone serious.

I took in a deep breath, then coughed because I took in some smoke. That was a bad idea. “Olette thinks that I like you when I really don’t and she says that I am being hypocritical about it. She’s insanely, inhumanly crazy about you and it bugs her that you talk to me instead of her when I say that I have no interest in you.” There, now help me damn it.

He thought for a minute or two. “That’s too bad. Your friendship is being corrupted because of me. What a shame.”

“Naw, ya think?!” Mr. State the Obvious.

“I suppose to make her feel better, I could talk to her a little bit.” He smiled at me, I could only see his teeth glisten in the dark.

“You’d do that!?” A wave of relief came over me. “That would make her so--”

I was stopped by the vicious barking of a dog. The German shepherd snarled at me as I slammed myself behind against the rough brick wall. My back felt as if it was being pierced with a thousand knives. I grimaced with pain and agony, but I didn’t want to make any noises because the dog looked like it wanted to gnaw me.

I gulped, what was going to happen now? I liked my face too much to get it ripped and scarred. Oh man. I closed my eyes when it growled in my face, it’s nuzzle a few inches away from my face. It’s wet slobber dripped down onto my lap, soaking into my dress and legs. It barked loudly in my face, echoing in my mind. I couldn’t see what Riku was doing anything, but I was too frightened to open my eyes to see him. The dog’s dirty paws rested on top of me, it’s nails sinking through the fabric and my skin.

The heavy scent of smoke the dog carried with him made me nauseous and dizzy. I felt its wet nose touching my cheek, wanting to take a bite of me as if to see if I tasted good. Where the hell was the dumb dog’s owner?

Then, the smell of gratifying roses overpowered the aroma of cigarettes. The disgusting dog got off me, backing away as if it gave up on me. The weight of the dog left me and I took a breath to calm my senses down. I opened my eyes to see Marluxia a few feet away from me. He was petting the dog as if it was his pet! I couldn’t believe it. The menace mongrel was tamed, it licked Marluxia’s hand, wagging it’s tail. With a pat on its head, Marluxia sent the mutt from where it came from and back to its irresponsible owners.

Marluxia smiled apologetically. “I should have came sooner…”

Riku was beside me, not looking at me, but at where Marluxia stood. He didn’t look calm as he usually did, he wore a frown. Getting up, he asked me casually if I was fine.

“Do I look fine to you?” I was so pissed, he didn’t bother to see if I was OK. Stupid jerk.

He stood still, brushing some dirt off from his jeans and started walking towards Marluxia’s direction. I held my breath and watched him do so.

“Do you feel it?” he asked me in a hushed tone, trying not to be overheard I guessed.

“Feel what?” I grumbled through clenched teeth, still mad at him from his lame generosity.

He gazed slowly around when he stopped directly in front of Marluxia. Holding his hand out, he waved it through Marluxia’s body but it phased through. Marluxia stayed still, not caring that Riku was phrasing through him or not.

“Something…I feel it, it’s strong over here.” He pulled his hand back and stared at it for a long time. It was a good thing that Marluxia was invisible and untouchable to everyone except for me.

Turning to me, he gestured for me to join him. I shook my head in refusal. I didn’t like where this was going. “I just want to go home now.”

Marluxia walked around Riku, completely ignoring him and held his out for me to reach it. Riku’s back was to me, I took advantage of that and grabbed Marluxia’s hand as he helped me up. Placing an arm around me, he kissed my damp hair. It was so embarrassing for me to let him see me in this condition.

Riku turned his attention to me and gazed upon me. “Sorry, let’s go.”

I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to come, but I didn’t bother doing so. Riku would surely argue with me about how girls shouldn’t walk out in the night alone and so on and so forth. What he didn’t know was that Marluxia was with me so there was nothing for me to worry about. I yawned as he dragged my arm.

My eyes tried to stay away, but they kept fluttering. As we walked to the end of the alley, I leaned against Riku’s shoulder because I was so sleepy while Marluxia held my free hand. I would have leaned against Marluxia instead, but that would appear awkward since no once could see him, if you get my drift.

As we all walked in silence, I wished that I was in bed, reading or finishing some homework. I wanted to watch some late night TV or a recent movie that was released. I wanted to take a short walk in the crisp night or eat a sea salt ice cream bar. Talking to Sora on the phone was something I craved for too. I recently bought some classical and modern violin music, I felt like listening to that instead of the senseless screaming in the background of that bar place. The dress made me feel out of place, I wanted to wear some jeans and a plain shirt. The Market Plaza looked tempting, I longed to buy some jewelry and whatnot. I wanted to listen to Marluxia’s stories, and just talk with him, all night.

But no. Tonight, I was stuck sitting in a shabby place with unknown people. My body was drenched with sweat. I think my lungs were blackened from all the smoke I inhaled. My eyes irritated me greatly. I couldn’t walk all the way home, Riku had to carry me. I rested my head against him as he carried me, I felt so tired and I think I slept on him briefly. I was too exhausted to make a fuss with the person I didn’t like.

Upon reaching home, I went straight to my room after getting Riku away from my house. The thing that nagged me was that he knew where I lived now. It took some time to get him away from my house, he kept pestering me about letting him carry me to my bedroom. That’s where I drew the line, I didn’t trust him at all.

I didn’t feel hungry, all the hunger I had passed. My body was exhausted, my head ached terribly. I ripped the dress off and tossed it in the hamper. I put on some comfortable night clothes, that was better than a stupid dress. The diary was placed on my desk, I walked over to it, turning to the next blank page and began writing before I fell asleep completely.


Dear Sora,

Have you ever been to a bar before? I don’t think so, Destiny Islands has no such place. I am so thankful for that. It’s terrible and awful, let me tell you that much. The people smoke their empty lives away and get drunk ‘til they yap about senseless things. I never want to step in there again, ever. Never. For nothing. Have you tasted beer? Me neither, I don’t want to know what it tastes like. I kept an eye on Leon, I didn’t see him drink any. So that’s a good sign. His friends drank though, but he didn’t. I felt proud of him for not following the rest of his friends. Maybe I was feeling too cautious when he went out late at night, he was completely trust worthy, except for the part that our Aunt doesn’t know he goes to places like that. Wait, do you think he didn’t drink anything because I was there?!

Oh yeah, I am beginning to get a distaste for dogs, big mean dogs. They are ill mannered. Marluxia came and helped me, if he hadn’t come, I might not have a face right now. How he knew I was in some dark alley surprised me, but that didn’t matter. Dumb Riku didn’t do anything as was too anxious about ‘darkness’ taking over this world. There is no such thing as darkness. Him and his crazy stories. Unbelievable. Marluxia is not a part of darkness, that much I know.

Olette’s mad at me for talking with Riku, stupid, dumb Riku. He’s a moron, a cretin, an imbecile. She thinks I like him. Yeah right. Gross. I fail to understand what she likes about him. She’s beginning to get closer to that devil Naminé. Luckily I have a plan, and I will do my best to make it work. It has to because I can’t let this happen, not again. But, I need to think it through more, just so that it could hopefully be ‘fool proof’. Riku offered to talk to her, so that may help the tension somewhat, I hope.

That pointless party is next week and I have to go with Riku unfortunately. Naminé will be so jealous, I am excited about that. That’s sort of one of the main reasons why I am going. Why waste precious time with parties when you could be using that time to study? Yeah, I know, waste of time right? Totally. I have a distaste for dresses now, or I am beginning to have a distaste for them. I might have to buy something more appropriate, it will cost some money, but those floral dresses are getting too old now. I want to wear something elegant, exquisite. I want something that would make me feel special, or important. When I look at myself in the mirror, I want to look beautiful. I want to feel beautiful.

I wanted to feel “pretty” today. Yeah, that didn’t go very well unfortunately for me. It went terribly. I felt far from beautiful. I felt like a stick in the sand. Maybe it was because of the place I went today. But still, I need to get some better clothes, or I think so. But what I really do want it do have an expensive, beautiful ring, earrings, and a matching necklace and bracelet. My makeup is lacking too. I don’t have any extraordinary lip glosses, mascara, lipstick (I hate lipstick though), or nail polish. I don’t know what to do with myself…should I borrow some from Olette?

Luv you,


-End Chapter 5 -

So how was it? Good? Bad? Oh and btw, Leon and his friends don't really go to a bar on a day-to-day basis ;] There was a reason why he went there which you'll find out later. Oh and I think I already shot myself in the foot at where this is going. Grr....I'm afraid this is going to be a short story if I don't think of something great now...My ramblings probably don't make sense to anyone lol.
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Notorious White Mage Captainess
Feb 14, 2008
Phantom Manor
I finally get a chance to read it all the way through and am not dissapointed. Excellent as always, Sora788. I'm looking forward to what's next!


New member
Jul 12, 2007
Chaos Empire.
Lol... Although I did not theorise for quite some time (Same old thing, I think about them but never write them down now. Waiting for something new), I'm still an old hand...

It's all good, I do the same too sometimes.

Wow, alot of reading but so far I'm liking it! Keep it up! Your writing is awesome btw!

Thank you so much!! I'm glad to hear that you like my writing. :]

I finally get a chance to read it all the way through and am not dissapointed. Excellent as always, Sora788. I'm looking forward to what's next!

That's good to hear because it would really suck if you read through the whole thing and didn't like it in the end. I am trying to make the story interesting and not boring!! Chapter 6 is about done, so I'll post that soon.


New member
Jun 9, 2008
Neverland (:
OOH. That was awesome!

I'm drowning in suspens now! Aw, poor Riku. I think Kairi should like him, 'cause he's only got her best interests at heart.
*hugs Riku*
If she doesn't like him soon, I'll kick her ass ^^.
And she should call Sora again! Or Sora should call her.

OHNOES. Does Larxene show up? Damn, I hate her!
Does Riku do something to get Kairi to like him, and she does?

Okay, I'll shut up. I'm gonna wait lol XD


New member
Jul 12, 2007
Chaos Empire.

Uhhh. omg. its been more than a year now...


I was wondering, is anyone still interested?? I'd like to apologize for my long absence. Things happened and well, I got kind of mad when I found out someone plagiarized my story...^^;;;

Your thoughts?


New member
Dec 5, 2009
Thanks a bunch! I have the first chapter already ready (But I'm afraid it's way too long - 16 pages / 7,000 +) But we'll see. The prologue it a bit different than the next chapter, but I wanted to set a sort of a base.


Bronze Member
Sep 10, 2009
This is a cute fanfic. I enjoy reading Kairi's Diary. X3


Silver Member
Jan 20, 2004
Aurora, IL
oh so long >.<
im sorry.
i kno im not supposed to bring back "dead" threads, but should i continue this?? (haha im sure no one remembers)
XD im so srry T_T
I don't really have a problem with bringing back dead threads if they're your own.
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