^^ i know i didnt get it at first either!
edit...
heres another
edit...
heres another
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Jokes!!!
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The menu is funny! So im guessing you like asian jokes huh? Well i took into consideration of finding a good one. Here:
Top Ten Advantages of Being Asian:
-You can pretend you don't speak English when you're around stupid people.
-Everyone asks your advice on computers, cameras, carryout, VCRs, Toyotas and Karate.
-You look enough like Bruce Lee that when you get in a fight, all you have to do is squint your eyes and howl to scare people.
-There are a lot more opportunities for casting in war movies.
-No one expects you to drive well.
-People mistake you for a Laundromat owner and bring you a lot of neat clothes.
-You can be from Ohio and still be considered "exotic"
-If you ever commit a crime, you can get good laughs when your description is passed around (black hair, brown eyes, glasses).
-You get people coming up to you all the time saying neat things in languages you don't speak.
-During times of way, you get free outdoor housing at a local house track.
Top Ten Advantages of Being Asian:
-You can pretend you don't speak English when you're around stupid people.
-Everyone asks your advice on computers, cameras, carryout, VCRs, Toyotas and Karate.
-You look enough like Bruce Lee that when you get in a fight, all you have to do is squint your eyes and howl to scare people.
-There are a lot more opportunities for casting in war movies.
-No one expects you to drive well.
-People mistake you for a Laundromat owner and bring you a lot of neat clothes.
-You can be from Ohio and still be considered "exotic"
-If you ever commit a crime, you can get good laughs when your description is passed around (black hair, brown eyes, glasses).
-You get people coming up to you all the time saying neat things in languages you don't speak.
-During times of way, you get free outdoor housing at a local house track.
^lols!!!
i found one
Your mama's soo fat that the whales started to sing "we are family".
Your mama's soo fat that the whales started to sing "we are family".
^^ THat's old. And I never liked it.
Here's one:
THere is a blonde rowing a small wooden boat on top of a potato field. (No, she's literally rowing it as if its on water)
Next to the field is a road.
Another blonde pulls up in a convertable and looks at the blonde.
She then says, "Hey b****, you gives blondes like me a bad name. If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and kick your ass"
An stupid asian one:
How do Asians name there kids?
Throw a pan down the stairs, "Ching pong chang"
Here's one:
THere is a blonde rowing a small wooden boat on top of a potato field. (No, she's literally rowing it as if its on water)
Next to the field is a road.
Another blonde pulls up in a convertable and looks at the blonde.
She then says, "Hey b****, you gives blondes like me a bad name. If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and kick your ass"
An stupid asian one:
How do Asians name there kids?
Throw a pan down the stairs, "Ching pong chang"
i like the blonde one...ahhahaha....
i heard that asian on...except it was more like
"how did the chinese get their language?"
they threw a pan down some stairs...
lol
i heard that asian on...except it was more like
"how did the chinese get their language?"
they threw a pan down some stairs...
lol
Okay, heres a very DUMB blonde joke (as in dumb, not the blonde is dumb... well she is but, oh screw it!):
There's a blond living with her boyfriend.
She decides to paint the house.
The boyfriend has to leave for work, and he leaves her opening a can of paint with a latter stood up.
He comes home for hours later to find the blonde panting on the ground with two ski jackets on.
He looks at her and says "What happened?"
The blonde is dying when she says, "The can said apply two coats!"
There's a blond living with her boyfriend.
She decides to paint the house.
The boyfriend has to leave for work, and he leaves her opening a can of paint with a latter stood up.
He comes home for hours later to find the blonde panting on the ground with two ski jackets on.
He looks at her and says "What happened?"
The blonde is dying when she says, "The can said apply two coats!"
lol! i feel for the blondes...
here i found one:
Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale
here i found one:
Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale
awww...come on you gotta like at least one....
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asains that cant speak english go to amercica
one goes to a opera and learns to say mmmmmmeeeeee
one goes toa resturants and learns forks and kinvies, forks and knives
one goes to a candy shop and learns goody goody gumdrops
one watches tv and learns plug it in plug it in
me: did you hear about the guy who got killed? i wonder who killed him
asain 1: mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee
me: wow, how did you kill him?
asian 2: forks and knives, forks and knives
me: your gonna go to jail
asain 3: goody goody gumdrops
me: you might even get the electric chair
asain 4: plug it in, plug it in
one goes to a opera and learns to say mmmmmmeeeeee
one goes toa resturants and learns forks and kinvies, forks and knives
one goes to a candy shop and learns goody goody gumdrops
one watches tv and learns plug it in plug it in
me: did you hear about the guy who got killed? i wonder who killed him
asain 1: mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee
me: wow, how did you kill him?
asian 2: forks and knives, forks and knives
me: your gonna go to jail
asain 3: goody goody gumdrops
me: you might even get the electric chair
asain 4: plug it in, plug it in
(the following joke is based on a real life happening. names have been changed to protect the author of this joke)
three guys are sitting around playing video games.
guy1: hey if you were about to die and you only had one dollor in quarters, what would you do?
guy2: i'd probly buy some gumballs.
guy3: i'd probly buy a slice of pizza. what about you?
guy1: i'd probly make a collect call to save my @$$.
three guys are sitting around playing video games.
guy1: hey if you were about to die and you only had one dollor in quarters, what would you do?
guy2: i'd probly buy some gumballs.
guy3: i'd probly buy a slice of pizza. what about you?
guy1: i'd probly make a collect call to save my @$$.
Last edited:
violent_anger said:asains that cant speak english go to amercica
one goes to a opera and learns to say mmmmmmeeeeee
one goes toa resturants and learns forks and kinvies, forks and knives
one goes to a candy shop and learns goody goody gumdrops
one watches tv and learns plug it in plug it in
me: did you hear about the guy who got killed? i wonder who killed him
asain 1: mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee
me: wow, how did you kill him?
asian 2: forks and knives, forks and knives
me: your gonna go to jail
asain 3: goody goody gumdrops
me: you might even get the electric chair
asain 4: plug it in, plug it in
lol...
zero_hiru said:(the following joke is based on a real life happening. names have been changed to protect the author of this joke)
three guys are sitting around playing video games.
guy1: hey if you were about to die and you only had one dollor in quarters, what would you do?
guy2: i'd probly buy some gumballs.
guy3: i'd probly buy a slice of pizza. what about you?
guy1: i'd probly make a collect call to save my @$$.
nice...lol
D
DragonZ
Guest
Y did the blonde star at the ornage juice carton?
Answer: Because it said concentrate.
Answer: Because it said concentrate.
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
> > "You've Been Out Drinking Again"
> >
> > An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender
> > finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to
> > leave, fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same
> > result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and
> > maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on
> > his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home.
> >
> > When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face.
> > He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached
> > his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to
> > pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is
> > sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
> >
> > He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him,
> > shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent
> > look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?"
> >
> > "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
I have a dozen irish jokes... I can put them all up in one huge post.
> >
> > An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender
> > finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to
> > leave, fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same
> > result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and
> > maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on
> > his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home.
> >
> > When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face.
> > He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached
> > his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to
> > pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is
> > sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
> >
> > He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him,
> > shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent
> > look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?"
> >
> > "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
I have a dozen irish jokes... I can put them all up in one huge post.
lmao....i like that one...
sure! i also found an asian joke, i love asian jokes!
Asian Farts Don't Stink
By: Jensa
A little old Asian lady goes to the doctor in China, and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't bother me too much... my farts never smell, and they're always quiet. But I've been doing it very often."
The doctor asks her to explain more, and the old lady says, "In fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You probably didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and they're silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week. "The next week the lady comes back.
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
this one is not that funny but i liked it...
Asian Farts Don't Stink
By: Jensa
A little old Asian lady goes to the doctor in China, and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't bother me too much... my farts never smell, and they're always quiet. But I've been doing it very often."
The doctor asks her to explain more, and the old lady says, "In fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You probably didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and they're silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week. "The next week the lady comes back.
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
this one is not that funny but i liked it...
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