Jokes!!!

[Riku's Dawn]

It was just a joke,sorry if I offended you.

 

[Thelonepickle]

I thought that was what you said.

>_>

Anyway, we need some good jokes in here.

I only know band-geek jokes, though, like...

What's the range of a trumpet? About thirty feet if you throw it far enough.

So, yeah. Non-band people won't care about my jokes.

Plus, jokes are funniest when they're, like, in the spur of the moment. Inside jokes pwn.

 

[Riku's Dawn]

I know!Flame me!

 

[Thelonepickle]

...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, Riku's Dawn. You tryin' to get me banned or something? Nah, thanks. If I wanted to be banned, I would've been banned by now.

Don't ask me to flame you. I don't need temptation, n00b.

 

[FlyingTomato1]

I know one!>.<!It might be old if so i dont see the expiration date.
....
A blonde, a guy, and another girl went into the woods casue cops where chasein them
The girl hid in the dog house, the guy in a pond, and the blonde in a potato sack

The cops came and shined a light on the pond.

Guy;Quack Quack

The cops shined the light on the dog house

Girl;Woof Woof

They then went and shined it on the potato sack

Blonde;Potato Potato

I laugh now >.>

 

[Square Ninja]

The last joke thread I participated in was closed. I guess it was too funny for the boards.

 

[iheartriku]

Not really a jk but a funny comment so listen up >.>
(at school)
*Kyle sits on hands,
uses hand sanitizer
sits on hands,
gets more sanitizer*
(Life science teacher Mrs.Waters, who is awesome);Kyle!
Kyle;I'm just sanitizing my hands
Mrs.Waters;they were sanitized before they went under you ass.*rolls eyes*
*Laugh*
Then mrs.waters as a punishment makes him sit on his hands for 15 minutes*
...................
you all must laugh now =D
<.<--yeesh my teacher says bad words!Shes the koolest!

i wish at least one of my teachers was like that!!!

What's the common thing between a whore and bungee jumping?

If the rubber breaks you're screwed.

lol!!!

I know one!>.<!It might be old if so i dont see the expiration date.
....
A blonde, a guy, and another girl went into the woods casue cops where chasein them
The girl hid in the dog house, the guy in a pond, and the blonde in a potato sack

The cops came and shined a light on the pond.

Guy;Quack Quack

The cops shined the light on the dog house

Girl;Woof Woof

They then went and shined it on the potato sack

Blonde;Potato Potato

I laugh now >.>

i like this one!

The last joke thread I participated in was closed. I guess it was too funny for the boards.

as long as no one doesnt put anything inappropriate(sp???) i think we should be fine...

 

[violent_anger]

difference between nexican and park bench? park bench can suport a family.

no offence if your mexican

 

[FlyingTomato1]

not really a jk but funny...new catch phrase of 5th period science
"Echnoidermbedremdermbuhderm"
From the word Echnoiderm
Example of echnoiderm-sea urchin.

 

[saratp]

heres my fav.. why are Blonde jokes so EZ?
So Brunet Can Understand Them!!
I LOVE THAT JOKE!!

 

[iheartriku]

difference between nexican and park bench? park bench can suport a family.

no offence if your mexican

aww...that was mean but funny....

 

[FlyingTomato1]

>.<!!!I had the funniest joke in the world to tell you but i forgot!!

 

[LadyKairi_19]

heres one.....

There were 3 guys named Somebody, Nobody and Crazy.....
One night..... they all went out to have a drink..... Somebody and Nobody got really drunk and they started fighting...... Crazy decided to call the police....

Police Officer: " 911, whats your emergency?"
Crazy: "Somebody and Nobody are fighting!!"
Police Officer: "what?!"
Crazy:"Somebody and Nobody are fighting!!"
Police Officer:"What?!"
Crazy:"Somebody and Nobody are fighting!!"
Police Officer: "what?!!...... Are you CRAZY?!!!"
Crazy: " yeah!..... How did you know my name???!!!"

lol.....

 

[FlyingTomato1]

I remember it!
....
Kyle;Do humans send off pheremones?
Mrs.Waters:Yeah,See for example the day when Gary doesn't use deodrant.
Gary;Why am I the example!
Mrs.Waters:*rolls eyes*
Kyle:I dont need Pheremones, the ladies come straight to me.
Gary;Rightttt
Mrs.Waters;In Europe people dont use Deodrant.
Kate;Eww
Mrs.Waters:Or shave
Steve;Ok thats gross
Mrs.Waters;Yeah so when the French Figure skater lifted up her arms.BAM!There was a whole forest down there.
Class;*Lmao*
Mrs.Waters;Monkeys swinging from hair to hair.
Gary;There were like loops hanging down!
Me;O.O OMFG!Roflmao!

 

[Anonymous]

I want your teacher!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

You know what, I'm goinna post a really dumb blonde joke:

A blonde was going for a job interview. She got into the office and sat down for the interview.
The man said, "I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, if you get them right, you've got the job"
"Okay"
"What's 10x10?"
"100"
"What's 3 squared?"
"9"
"Who killed Abraham Lincoln ?"
THe blonde thought, "I'm not sure"
"GO home and think about it"
The blonde went home and was later talking to her friend.
"Did you get the job?" Her friend asked
"Yea! I'm alaready on my first murder case!"


I just think that joke is really retarded, but it always makes me chuckle

 

[Davey]

I got some.

1 A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, there's a man sitting next to him and orders a different drink. After taking the whole drink in the man runs and crashes through the window flys around and then walks back in unharmed.

Man #1: WOAH! How'd you do that!
Man #2: Ooo, it's just the drink.

The first man orders the same drink jumps out the window and dies. The bartender turn to the other man.

Bartender: Super Man! Quit killing all my customers!

2 What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jose and Jos-b (pronounced Hose-A and Hose-B, get it?)

3 A man has three daughters with some very unusual names. The daughters get curious one day and they go and ask him.

Daughter #1: Dad, why is my name Lily?
Dad: O, because when you were born a lily petal fell on your head.
Daughter #1: O!

Daughter #2: Dad why is my name Rose?
Dad: O, because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head.
Daughter #2: O!

Then the third daughter walks in...

Daughter #3: UUHAFOAGNOUHSAN!!!!!!!
Dad: SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!

4 A blond and brunette are in an elevator and a guy they both think is cute walks in. When the guy leave they start to talk about him.

Brunette: Gosh! I love him, but he really needs Head and Shoulders.
Blond: Whats shoulders?

5 How did the blonde try to kill the fish?

By drowning it.

That's all I know now so I'll post some later!

 

[iheartriku]

I got some.

1 A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, there's a man sitting next to him and orders a different drink. After taking the whole drink in the man runs and crashes through the window flys around and then walks back in unharmed.

Man #1: WOAH! How'd you do that!
Man #2: Ooo, it's just the drink.

The first man orders the same drink jumps out the window and dies. The bartender turn to the other man.

Bartender: Super Man! Quit killing all my customers!

2 What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jose and Jos-b (pronounced Hose-A and Hose-B, get it?)

3 A man has three daughters with some very unusual names. The daughters get curious one day and they go and ask him.

Daughter #1: Dad, why is my name Lily?
Dad: O, because when you were born a lily petal fell on your head.
Daughter #1: O!

Daughter #2: Dad why is my name Rose?
Dad: O, because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head.
Daughter #2: O!

Then the third daughter walks in...

Daughter #3: UUHAFOAGNOUHSAN!!!!!!!
Dad: SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!

4 A blond and brunette are in an elevator and a guy they both think is cute walks in. When the guy leave they start to talk about him.

Brunette: Gosh! I love him, but he really needs Head and Shoulders.
Blond: Whats shoulders?

5 How did the blonde try to kill the fish?

By drowning it.

That's all I know now so I'll post some later!

i like 5,1,and 3!

I want your teacher!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

You know what, I'm goinna post a really dumb blonde joke:

A blonde was going for a job interview. She got into the office and sat down for the interview.
The man said, "I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, if you get them right, you've got the job"
"Okay"
"What's 10x10?"
"100"
"What's 3 squared?"
"9"
"Who killed Abraham Lincoln ?"
THe blonde thought, "I'm not sure"
"GO home and think about it"
The blonde went home and was later talking to her friend.
"Did you get the job?" Her friend asked
"Yea! I'm alaready on my first murder case!"


I just think that joke is really retarded, but it always makes me chuckle

omfgsh! i'm soo telling this one!

I remember it!
....
Kyle;Do humans send off pheremones?
Mrs.Waters:Yeah,See for example the day when Gary doesn't use deodrant.
Gary;Why am I the example!
Mrs.Waters:*rolls eyes*
Kyle:I dont need Pheremones, the ladies come straight to me.
Gary;Rightttt
Mrs.Waters;In Europe people dont use Deodrant.
Kate;Eww
Mrs.Waters:Or shave
Steve;Ok thats gross
Mrs.Waters;Yeah so when the French Figure skater lifted up her arms.BAM!There was a whole forest down there.
Class;*Lmao*
Mrs.Waters;Monkeys swinging from hair to hair.
Gary;There were like loops hanging down!
Me;O.O OMFG!Roflmao!

lol!



okay i got some jokes...well they kinda are!
Learn to speak Chinese

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
I got this for free - Ai No Pei
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

 

[Davey]

LOL^^^ Those craked me up.

 

[iheartriku]

LOL^^^ Those craked me up.

i knoe!lol! i love making fun of asian people! im gonna get jumped! and the bad thing IM ASIAN!

 

[hooded_twilight0]

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
I got this for free - Ai No Pei
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

OMGLOLWTF?!! I didn't get it at first but then when i did I couldn't stop laughing! LOL I'm crying now.