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Fanfiction ► It All Began........



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gamenern

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My first KH fanfic. Basically, it is my idea for BBS, and why Ven looks like Roxas, plus other possible connections. All I ask is that you don't tear me apart. I have no clue as to how many BBS fanfics are on the site, so don't blame me. Here goes.


Chapter 1
The Beggining of the War

For years, the Keyblade has been a widely coveted weapon for many reasons, among which is it's abillity unlock most doors, which in times of war made it a very powerful ally. However, the warring has caused the Keyblade's creator, who no one knows his name, or even his whereabouts, to become picky with who gains the abillity to weild the Keyblade. As such, he chose 5 of his apprentices, who's names are Xehanort, Terra, Aqua, Ven, and Mickey.

Now, Xehanort was a powerful wizard. Like Yen Sid, he had use of many powerful spells, and the abillity to weild the Keyblade. Xehanort, however, succommed to the darkness shortly after recieving the Keyblade. He later took the darkness in his heart and created a warrior, who could also wield the Keyblade. Xehanort's true reasons for using the Keyblade is yet to be known, even by his Guardian.

Terra, the oldest of the three Armored Keybladers, is an enigma. He keeps alot to himself, though he is a very friendly guy. He was chosen by his master to help him defeat the darkness that was threatening the Keyblade. He is friends with Ven and Aqua, and, like the other two, uses a Keyblade that has no Keychain. Reasons are unknown even to the Keycreator, though the blades have more power than their chained couterparts. Terra has been using the darkness as a weapon for a while, while still clinging to light.

Ven, who was a resident of Twilight Town, is the youngest of the Armored Keybladers, but the fastest of them. He has a very mysterious past, though he appears to have known Aqua before they recieved the Keyblades. He has a very kind disposition about him, and can make friends very easily. Not much else is known about him right now.

Aqua, the only female Keyblader, is a gentle yet serious person who cares deeply for her friends, Terra and Ven. She knew Ven when he was a little kid, but has a shrouded past. She is usually very quiet, but can get angered very easily. She uses magic on a regular basis, but aslo excells at melee combat as well.

Finally, Mickey, the futrue King of Disney Castle, and the smallest of the Keybladers by stature. However, his speed is unmatched, even by Ven, in combat. Mickey uses the Starseeker Keyblade, crafted by his Magic Master, Yen Sid, and also uses magic in combat. Overall, Mickey is kind, but has a strong sense of justice. Easily angered, especially if it comes to his friends, he will fight with no remore if nessicary. He, like Terra, can use darkness as a weapon, but still has light inside of him.

The 5 Keybladers all follow different paths, but 4 of them, Terra, Ven, Aqua, and Mickey, all fight for the light, but Xehanort wants power. And is not afriad to knock anyone who opposes him down.

Next chatper in 10 replies. oops, srry, didnt mean to hit that. just 5 should be enough.
 
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Twilight_Path

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Next chaper in 10 replies.

^ Serious? Wow that's the first time I've seen anything like that.

Anyways, this isn't bad, but it needs some work. The first chapter is the section that draws people in, and frankly, this is rather plain. I'd suggest starting a bit of dialogue or instance to arouse a reader's intrest. It's a good start, though. ^^

Kudos on your first fanfic.
 

gamenern

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^ Serious? Wow that's the first time I've seen anything like that.

Anyways, this isn't bad, but it needs some work. The first chapter is the section that draws people in, and frankly, this is rather plain. I'd suggest starting a bit of dialogue or instance to arouse a reader's intrest. It's a good start, though. ^^

Kudos on your first fanfic.

thx, thought it needed work:unsure:, just went with a whim and forgot about it much. next one should be better, cause now i actually care about it.:thumbsup:
 

TwilightRiku_13

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Well, this is a good start to your story, but I agree with Twilight_Path is the sense that it was quite plain. It was very general, and I think if you did start up some dialogue or instance it would have been more interesting. I hope this does not sound to critical because I do like where you are heading with this story, and I believe it has good potential.
 
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