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Interest check: Light-hearted, satirical roleplay



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Orion

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Basically a fun pisstake on fiction genres that Endgame and I want to have a shot at in a collab production. Roleplayers needn't build off the examples below, but their characters need to be based on general stereotypes. All the characters have their village burnt to the ground and their family killed. Also the princess has been kidnapped.

Most of the archetypes we have listed as protagonists by default. If you want a similar role but in it's bad-guy equivalent, just say so.

Not all roles need to be filled, these are simple examples. People are free to make up their own.

Example protagonists include:

The cartoon (Ulti)- exists only in two dimensions, unable to interact with things elsewhere in the z-axis. Makes use of ACME items dropped seconds after dialling them in, and survives an atomic bomb unscratched saved for a thick layer of black soot over him.

The anime hero (Nigga Sauce) - a man of spiky hair and unusually-coloured eyes whose brother was indoctrinated into the army of the evil emperor that laid waste to his village and killed his family. Despite his instence that every long-winded 'power-up' increases his strength tenfold, the only discernable changes are in the colour of his hair and the glow of his blade.

The space marine (Orion) - you are the best of the best of the best. You can run as fast as a sports car and carry around up to four of them at once. By the way you can only carry two guns at any one time - mind you, you can pull reload magazines from where there apparently were none. Watch out for lag, though.

The soldier (Lord of Chaos) - you've seen war in all its brown-tinted horror and glory. Your worst enemies are the Russians, and you take every opportunity to quickscope their dirty heads off. A rare eye disorder has left you able to only perceive the world in tints of brown, and with an irritating bloom. Each time you defeat a foe you are able to be resurrected from that location about ten seconds after your death, the intervening time being filled with your furious screaming over your demise.

The camper (The Professor) - Motionless, you await the chance for that one perfect shot - oblivious to the fact the war ended ten minutes ago and everyone else is already chowing down on a celebratory big mac. You are silent and undetectable, until you fire your body-length rifle and the ungodly flash, booming noise and thick smoke trail lead everyone right back to your location. The soldier despises every last cell in your body and would perform brain surgery with his combat knife all day were teamkilling enabled.

The heavy (Alphonse) - [video=youtube;-QM1eTAwOYc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QM1eTAwOYc[/video]

The silent giant (The Big Lovin') -

The street fighter (Piercing Light)- you're a good kid from a rough neigborhood, and you've come to thrive on the toughness of the streets. Otherwise, you're really quite normal and ordininary. Oh yeah, and you can shoot fireballs out of your hands. Anything more complex than breathing or walking requires complex button inputs. To wake up in the morning, you must face away from the bed and press A K HA QCF K HK QCB Start HCF HA Reset.

The destined hero - you care not for being sleek or consistent in your looks. Your huge muscles nearly bulge out of your armour, which is composed of a dozen or more pieces of hugely varied styles and colours. Who cares for appearance when you're wearing the best of the best? You insist on collecting every thing on the bodies of your fallen foes before you proceed, and are unable to vary your strength from an arbitrary amount, no matter how hard you try. Once every twenty tries or so, you do find yourself hitting particularly hard, though.

The strategist (Endgame) - the best offence is the best defence. Even if your offence never begins. At the earliest opportunity you will begin gathering resources of gold, stone, wood and meat to construct a base of such intricacy and security that it could never be penetrated. When it comes time to face the final boss, you will be impervious to their attacks - were they not on the other side of the world by the time you finish your base. The zombie hoard is your worst nightmare, and is quite possibly the very reason as to why you began your base-building habits.

The swordsman - you are cool as cool can be, and no that massive sword of yours is not overcompensating for some other defecit. Of course not. Your badass attitude is the only equal to your prowess in battle (and your obsession with things long, hard and straight).

The action hero - underneath that black leather jacket is quite possibly some skin and flesh underneath which just might lie a metallic skeleton and internal machinery. Your eyes might glow red, but no one can tell underneath the pitch-black sunglasses you wear. Even if your sunglasses were off, it's likely no one would be able to tell over the glare from the explosions constantly rippling around you in slow motion, accompanying whatever you do - from driving to work to going to the toilet.

The anti-hero (The Professor) - your garb is as dark as your tortured soul, sleek black leather and soul-strangling belts of silver. Lots of belts. Your care for the common citizen and the general 'good guys' only slightly more than you do for the bad guys, who you are in fact apathetic towards. You don't hate them, you don't love them, but still they've got to be defeated and you're the only one willing to sacrifice yourself for the task. That you end up always saving the common man, woman and child is purely collateral, you don't care about them. Of course not - and your apparent liking for this mismatched band of heroes is just your internal maelstrom of emotions acting up a bit.

The stalwart (★) - don't let anyone tell you something is impossible, even if it truly is. You won't listen. You can't listen. The world 'impossible' is not part of your vocabularly. It's quite likely a good many other words are also absent from your lexicon, as the apparent lack of any decent education just might explain your rash stubborness that should get you killed at every turn but miraculously doesn't.

The miner (Chaotic Dreams) - had things turned out differently, the strategist just might have been your best friend. As things stand, he is your most bitter rival, and quite possibly your worst enemy. If you want gold or stone, you'd best get to it quicker than him. At least he can't get to your precious diamond or redstone. When a battle begins, you go underground as quickly as you can to gather the necessary minerals to forge a sword.

The Detective- Cynical, worldly, and highly jaded, you're a trenchcoat wearing, cigar smoking, revolver wielding, street-scum scouring P.I. You know the cold, hard reality of this world, and you trudge along the underbelly of the criminal world with that beneath your dirty stained fedora. You're street-wise with a witty sense of cynical humor, but you often draw looks for you're odd scowl and bizarre scruff.

The Kid- Young, naive, idealistic, with a countable number of minutes since your balls have dropped. You are out to save the world and stand up to the bad guy. In all likely situations, you would be shot immediately upon your utter lack of protection, planning, and backup, but somehow you possess luck and convenience beyond all measurable ability. You can't actually do that much, but you manage to be a pain in the bad guys' ass constantly nonetheless. You either are somehow inexplicably connected with the villain or have read too many comic books. You speak in cliches, hallmark cards, and otherwise laughable monologues about friendship and love.

The Whiskey Priest- A large tragedy in your personal life has lead to a somewhat melodramatic crisis in faith. You've taken up some vice, either drinking, smoking, street-fighting, or heroine, to deal with this. However, your slightly cynical, but otherwise really unimportant to anyone besides yourself, crisis in faith will be put to the test when you are faced with some otherworldly demonic/celestial threat. Better get yo sh*t together. After all, who else is going to pin down that underage child and perform that exorcism?

The wise (Prophet) - Your hair is as white as the snowy peak on which your ancient temple is inconveniently placed. When you are not training in solitude in martial arts and confusing, riddle-based philosophy, you tend to moonlight as a janitor to find smaller kids to mentor and teach life lessons. You can range anywhere from 50-12045 years old, as long as you face has a decent amount of wrinkles and you refuse to give straight answers. Your role as a mentor makes you an invincible badass for most of your life, however your death is inevitable because it's needed to give the other protagonists something to avenge. The dark mage is your eternal foe, for he has chosen the path opposite you. You are wise and deceptively strong; just don't forget to take your pills.

Antagonists include:

The dastardly (OmniChaos) - your facial hair and ostentatious garb might be laughed at by some, but who's going to be laughing when the damsel is tied up on the rails with a train tearing down the line? Just you, that's who! Because that's your idea of fun.

The scientist (LongLiveLife) - disregard the fact your activities are closer to those of a mad engineer, there's scientific progress to be made! What right does the law, nature and ethic have to interfere with your work anyway, even if it's going to create a few monstrosities along the way?

The dark mage (Ordeith) - your are older than nations, you have watched civilisations rise and fall, and know magic to level entire cities. The fact that your old and rattly brain can't properly remember even half of them notwithstanding. Your have on you an array of mystical potions to elicit any desired effect - the only problem is finding that one you want among thousands shrunken to fit into your pockets.

The uber (Ubi Ty) - you're not a god and will profusely deny to being such. You're just stronger than everyone, that's all. At least you don't need to worry that much about strategy because of it. You have the magical, zen-like ability to force the metaphysical laws of your own universe onto others, no matter how obtrusive or impossible it might seem. With your powers, you can force your will onto others without consequence, and can pretty much out-fabricate anyone.

The vampire - though your barely-even-minimal skill in battle is highly debatable, should you encounter female foes, then you've not a thing to worry about. Your pale, almost translucent skin gives a radiant sparkle to your ghostly-white flesh that, along with your cliched lines about being unable to resist the woman's blood, will have them melting in your hands before you know it.

The wolf - with a sharp attitude and even sharper claws, the fact that your greatest weapon is your ability to transform into a wolf tells quite a bit of a posssibly-troubled past. Your tan, muscular body - which you need not do anything to maintain - becomes even stronger when you're a wolf, and you've got temper issues in both forms. The vampire is always going after the same girls you do, but keep your shirt off 90% of the time and you should be fine.

The zombie hoard- don't mind the fact you're not all that smart, Zerg rushes work for a reason. You beat your enemies through overwhelming numbers and dont even bother with strategy. You are quite possibly The Strategist's worst enemy, if The Miner wasn't also vying for that position. You've been seeking the limelight since your Aryan cousins stole it a few years back.

The wicked witch - the world knows no greater malice than that which sits under your black, pointed hat. You fly around on household items as your primary means of transport, and always have your massive, black cauldron ready to fill with all manner of bizarre or disgusting ingredients. The only thing as big as your grudge on the world is probably that wart right on the middle of your nose.

The suit (Lord of Chaos) - you are quite possibly, no - most definitely - the suavest man around, with the charm and looks of the vampire but with none of the creepiness or homosexual undertones. You're 100% smooth, stylish man, and women fall by the wayside the moment they lay eyes on you. Your dark suit is your iconic attribute, probably because you're always wearing it. Is it stuck to your skin? Was your skin maimed in a horrific accident and the suit covers it up? Is the suit your skin? Who cares, because you look damn good in it anyway. No one knows what your powers truly are - your enigmatic nature comes as part of the whole package.
 
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Orion

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★;5503382 said:
Kamina-esque hot blooded manly man character...

dibs
The Stalwart it is.
 

OmniChaos

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Oh, I am so calling dibs on the black-clothed, long handlebar-moustached, stock villain from the silent movie era.
 

Orion

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Oh, I am so calling dibs on the black-clothed, long handlebar-moustached, stock villain from the silent movie era.
THAT is what I imagined you as.
 

magicedd

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dibs (if i am allowed to enter of corse)

The strategist
 

Solar

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I am the human incarnation of The Stalwart.

This is not a rumour.
 

Orion

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Anime has raised me and anime has become me. Guess that's why I love shonen manga TOO MUCH. Yeah anime hero is perfect for me.
Show everyone your Fusioned SS4 Hollow Mask Nine Tails Bankai.
 

magicedd

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watch when you use which ever attack, bubbles come out, and flowers appear around you LMAO! xd
 

Endgame

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I can't get over how we went from joking about my cartoon battle character to a full-blown parody RP.

Magicedd, I'm afraid I've already got the Strategist, so you won't be able to use that.
 

Chill

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Oooh,ooh! I shot gun the miner as long as I get to still fight! And that we don't need to look minecrafty! That's right I said minecraft!

P.S: If we do need to look minecrafty i'll be the swordsman!
 
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