Help/Support ► I Need Your Advice/Input

[Marly]

Ok heres the situation.... about a month ago one of my mums friend moved in cause he was kicked outta his brothers house cause he pawned some of his brothers stuff away for drug money.. anyway my mum is friends with him and he moved... everything was alright, he was an alright guy and we would talk and stuff.... then it happened... in the middle of the night I awoke with a start... I heard my mum making noise, I thought she was having a nightmare cause she has those sometimes and I went to wake her up... i turned on the lights.. and well you can guess what i saw next... i call myself scarred.... i may never recover... anyway after that day I just hate his living guts... and i cant stand him... i cant explain my hate.... its just there everytime i look at him.... so i did want any teenager would do if they werent happy.... well what i would do... i locked myself up in my room for about a week or so (of course i came out for food and bathroom and when i had to go somewhere) but other than that i held myself up in my room... finally my mum came to talk to me... i confessed my hate and tried my best to explain, she knows what i saw... but i cant stop hating him and it upsets my mum cause shes happy..... but god i cant stand this guy... im better now that shes talked to me but only just... i still dont talk to him or look at him... if i can help it.... but im not in my room anymore..... and what not.. but i feel like im being selfish cause it upsets my mom that i hate him.... i dunno i mean its really just been me my sister and my mum for about 8 years.... but though that mite explain a bit, it doesnt really solve anything.... i need input and advice... please.....

 

[Deeman]

I don't understand. Why is it that you don't like this guy? Is it because of what he did in the past (pawning stuff for drugs) or the fact that he's in a relationship with your mom? Either way, you're going to have to adapt to having him around.

 

[Marly]

I don't understand. Why is it that you don't like this guy? Is it because of what he did in the past (pawning stuff for drugs) or the fact that he's in a relationship with your mom? Either way, you're going to have to adapt to having him around.

I dont really care that he pawned some of his brothers stuff off...... I dunno, I can't really explain my hate, I dunno I guess I've really always been there for my mum... I guess i just feel a bit replaced... I can't explain it... Yea, I dont want him around though -_-.... or maybe its cause hes a worthless crap who doesnt have a job and uses all our money.... seeing as my family is pretty darn poor, it angers me that he just lays around all day.... I dunno its one of many things that I hate him..... I've come to terms that it may be a while till I see the last of him....

 

[Deeman]

I can understand why you dislike him, but it is partly selfish of you for feeling that way. Your mother still loves you the same way she did before he moved in, and you definitely haven't been replaced. That's just a depressive thought that needs to be dismissed. Your mother needs the relationship aspect in her life, and she can't receive that kind of love from you, though you two have a strong mother/daughter relationship. And don't worry, that will always be there, a man in her life or not!

As for his past, it doesn't seem like such a great guy. But hey, give him a chance. He could be trying to make up for his stupid decisions. Don't jump to conclusions. Find out what your mom thinks about him, if he can be trusted. Talk to her about it.

I think it's just a matter of adapting to having another person in the house, messy past or not. Try not to hate him, as hard as it is. As long as he treats you and your mother respectfully, push yourself to get along with him.

 

[Thelonepickle]

Unless you bang your mom, you haven't been "replaced," Oedipus...ette.

That was insensitive.

What I meant to say was, parents do it. :/ That's the truth. They get it on like everyone else! No one expects you to LIKE walking in on that, but they don't expect you to lock yourself in your room and mope for forever.

Just try to forget about it. Keep yourself busy, be happy for your mom, and knock next time.

EDIT: Lawl, I called you Oedipus, and then I was like, "Oh, wait, Dee implies that he's a girl." So I added the ette. Just to find out I was right in the first place.

LAWL!

 

[Marly]

I can understand why you dislike him, but it is partly selfish of you for feeling that way. Your mother still loves you the same way she did before he moved in, and you definitely haven't been replaced. That's just a depressive thought that needs to be dismissed. Your mother needs the relationship aspect in her life, and she can't receive that kind of love from you, though you two have a strong mother/daughter relationship. And don't worry, that will always be there, a man in her life or not!

As for his past, it doesn't seem like such a great guy. But hey, give him a chance. He could be trying to make up for his stupid decisions. Don't jump to conclusions. Find out what your mom thinks about him, if he can be trusted. Talk to her about it.

I think it's just a matter of adapting to having another person in the house, messy past or not. Try not to hate him, as hard as it is. As long as he treats you and your mother respectfully, push yourself to get along with him.

I'm her son XD (I understand the whole Aqua obsession can throw you off)... but anyway... thanks for the advice... but somehow even her reassurance of her love.... i dunno its hard to feel, and Im sure it is selfish... its just hard for me to like him.. I've tried..... Ill try a bit harder... I know its a different kind of love.... Its just I cant help it cause..... I mean shes spent more time with him in 2 weeks than she has spent with me in the past 2 months and it makes me angry..... I;ve talked to her about it and said just about everything you have XD... but coming from another person helps a bit... thanks ...

Unless you bang your mom, you haven't been "replaced," Oedipus...ette.

That was insensitive.

What I meant to say was, parents do it. :/ That's the truth. They get it on like everyone else! No one expects you to LIKE walking in on that, but they don't expect you to lock yourself in your room and mope for forever.

Just try to forget about it. Keep yourself busy, be happy for your mom, and knock next time.

Yea, I've told myself that... I know i dont bang her.... I just dont like the prospect and its a bit hard to forget... hes just so..... clingy... like I never get to talk to her alone nowadays.... or anything.... maybe its the 13 year age difference that bugs me... i dunno DX i wish i could explain it myself... i just needed to tell someone before I exploded....

 

[Deeman]

My bad about confusing your gender. xD
But yeah, I agree with Thelonepickle. Simply put, it's a part of life. I'm sure you'll adjust to it over time.

 

[Lycanthrope]

Listen to TheOnlinePickle and Deeman. They know what they're saying.

I can understand your hatred, kinda. I mean, if I walked in on my mom, I have no idea what I would think about the guy she was with. But, It probably was just an awkward moment knowing that a stranger who isn't your father has indeed been intimate with your mother. ou'll eventually get over it.

 

[Nutari]

Listen man. This guy u dont like him cuz he was doin somthin with your mom u didnt like so i understand. Talk to him about it, make sure you can control urself first k.

 

[Annoyance]

You could prank him like an immature little brat. It's fun...but not that effective and may lead to bad shit.

You could ignore the fact that he bangs your mom and invest in some earplugs.

You could move out as soon as legally possible.

You could help the guy get a job. Force him out. Something.

I don't know what to really tell you.

 

[Doctor Manhattan]

maybe its the 13 year age difference [/B]that bugs me... i dunno DX i wish i could explain it myself... i just needed to tell someone before I exploded....

Your mother had you at age 13?

 

[violent_anger]

And if my human biology is up to date, that means she had "it" when she was 12.

 

[big don mega]

sex is nothing special, it's just basically a sport. the sooner you come to grasp that, the easier your life will be. i can understand you hating the guy, my parents split up when i was younger for a few months, they both moved on to other people for a few weeks and my mom moved in with the guy. whenever i was over there i just wanted to take one of his kitchen knifes and end there relationship. the urges to do that never got intence or anything just random thoughts, but it's still not to normal for a 7 or 8 year old to have thoughts of homocide. when i just accepted that they were together and he made her happy, it made me feel better knowing that she was happy at least

 

[snowdog]

sex is nothing special, it's just basically a sport.

What?

Anyway... yeah, nobody likes the thought of their parents having sex but it's a fact of life. Just accept it.

Although I see where you're coming from with your mother being in a relationship with this guy. He has a drug problem, and if he's pawning his own brother's stuff then it must be getting out of hand. Perhaps you could try talking to her about it, if it's bothering you. I'm sure she'll know you're just looking out for her.

<3