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Help/Support ► I need advice---



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Re: I need advices---

If you love your girlfriend and she is a pre-existing relationship prior to this guy coming back, you should either cut this new one off or clearly define some boundaries.

you can't have both

Say what? Why not? I think both works out well here. you know like a trial or something...you know to see which he prefers.
 

Iridium

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Re: I need advices---

you can't have both

I beg to differ.

But in all honesty, you haven't seen the guy for some time so awkwardness/mixed feelings isn't something you should worry about too much. Just enjoy the fact that one of your long time friends is back and you get to hang out again... just don't let things go off the handle.
 

Lord_Marluxia

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Re: I need advices---

Yah its true! But i like that Knowing what I like Idea... I should ya know Experiment with my self and know if I like "having dicks up my butt or being knee deep in pussy all the time" xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I early spoke with my mother... and she said it was pretty normal to me to feel that and whatevr my choice she supports me but she told me to think things good... I can like confused mt friendship with love and leave Angela just like that after 2 years... Once again thanks everyone! Ur really helping me fixing this! =D!
 

krexia

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Re: I need advices---

You don't have to "like dicks up your butt" to be gay. Plenty of gay men don't enjoy receiving anal sex.

I think that the abstract question of whether you're gay or not is less important here than how you're treating your friend and girlfriend. If you're getting involved with both, someone is going to get hurt. If you talk to your friend and the two of you decide this is something you want to pursue, then you need to break things off with your girlfriend. If you want to stay with your girlfriend, you have to be prepared to abandon whatever you might have with your friend.

It's been said already, but you need to decide which one you want to go for.
 

krexia

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Re: I need advices---

XDDD why are u so sure about that? Did we had sex and I didnt noticed? =O
You don't have to have sex with a man to be gay. Sexuality is about who you're attracted to, regardless of whether you act on that attraction. If you're sexually attracted to both your girlfriend and your male friend, you're probably bisexual.
 

namine_ftw

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There's nothing wrong with being attracted to your friend, but just because you think you are doesn't necessarily mean that you're gay. Sometimes two people of the same gender can have a very deep bond and mistake it for romance when it's not. Of course, the only one who could know if it's truly romantic would be you. Ask yourself these questions: Is what I feel for my friend different than anything I have ever experienced? Do I feel attracted to him sexually? Does it feel better to kiss him than it does to kiss my girlfriend? Also, think about your girlfriend. Why did you decide to go out with her in the first place? Is it because she's a good friend to hang out with, or did you feel sexually attracted to her? Remember, just like how straight people can be confused and think that they are gay, the reverse is also true.

I have to agree with the others when they say that you can't lead both on. Whatever you decide, it has to be soon, because if not you might end up losing both of them. If you break up with your girlfriend, it might be messy but it will be a lot better than being miserable because you feel attracted towards someone else. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!
 
C

Colours

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If you are gay/bisexual don't try to deny it or ignore it because you'll only be hurting yourself.
 
H

Haxon

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Stay with your girlfriend dude, I dont think you should turn gay with your friend. I dont think it would work out and youd probably end up miserable.
 

Dexel

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Stay with your girlfriend dude, I dont think you should turn gay with your friend. I dont think it would work out and you'd probably end up miserable.

@Haxon: ...>_>"

I cannot tell you how much people like you piss me off. Come back when you have some REAL advice to tell him. This is the Help and Support section, not the " give crap advice based on your personal tastes/beliefs" section. You want that, there's plenty of people waiting in Forum Insanity for you.

----------------------------

@LM: Now, I've never been to this stage quite yet, mostly because I've never really had any friends myself, but what everyone else said basically covers it. Sorry I can't be of much help, but listen to them. That's all I can tell you. I hope no matter which way it happens, you never regret your decision and that you can, if nothing else, at least be comforted to know you were honest with your friends, but most importantly, yourself.

There is no reason you should adjust your lifestyle just to match the personal tastes of others, or because you don't like who you are. You are yourself...and that's how it should remain. I know it's not much to you, knowing you don't know me, but, you'll always have my fullest backing.
 

Gildragon

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@Haxon: ...>_>"

I cannot tell you how much people like you piss me off. Come back when you have some REAL advice to tell him. This is the Help and Support section, not the " give crap advice based on your personal tastes/beliefs" section. You want that, there's plenty of people waiting in Forum Insanity for you.

That was kind of uncalled for.


granted his post may have been motivated by personal beliefs. but what are opions if not personal beliefs
he also could be trying to protect the existing relationship between the guy and his girlfriend.

which is also my stance as well.

I don't think he should drop his girl. but at the same time he shouldn't do both his girl and this new guy.

I would say the same if it was another girl in this place.

(because he said he still loves his GF)
 

Dexel

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That was kind of uncalled for.


granted his post may have been motivated by personal beliefs. but what are opions if not personal beliefs
he also could be trying to protect the existing relationship between the guy and his girlfriend.

I'm always a bit irratable when it comes to that topic and he seemed to be coming from the POV that too many poeple against gays seem to take. Unless you clarify as to why you say it/how you say it, people have a tendency to take it the wrong. So, sorry.

But, GF's also have a tendency of going horribly array as well. If anything, I've seen that case too much. ( Although I have yet to encounter anyone openly gay amongst my peers. )

You understand that bit about GF's, though, wouldn't you, Mr. Gildragon? Not to say it's their faults rather than yours. In any case, leaving your personal life out of this...

It probably isn't easy to decide this case. She might be interested in another person or, with some pretty low odds, might actually be a lesiban herself. ( I cannot pretend that I'd be one to judge her, not knowing her, but Fate is sometimes a very cruel, twisted, and...unorthodox mistress. )

Then again, if he goes for his best friend, his best friend might be...well, if you've read what I stated earlier, you can probably already guess what I mean to say. Either way, all we can do is try to comfort him and try to give him advice. The final decision is completely in his hands and his only.
 

Gildragon

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I understand where you are coming from.

as to the parts about GF's eh in any feud it takes two to tango, so to say one person in a relationship is completely at fault is wrong. they need to be communicating their feelings to each other. if important stuff isn't adressed and allowed to fester it can end up being the person who didn't take any actions fault.
Example: say I have a GF (I wish) and I do something wrong or that she doesn't like. now I am in the wrong for doing it. however lets say this GF does not communicate to me that she isn't comfortable with the way I am acting. then it is just as much her responsibility for any outbreak. etc. later on. because these things can change who a person is. (of course it works the opposite way too)

that being said let us move on to our member here.
Lord_Marluxia said that he Loves his girfriend. and that he really doesn't want to break up with her. that tells me that if he has these feelings about his GF that in this case her feelings towards him at the very least Mutual if not greater.

this establishes a PRE-EXISTING relationship.

now, in MY opinion because of this (keeping in mind he loves her) a preexisting relationship where love has been established outranks any other possible similar relationship so even IF he was willing to break it off with his girlfriend he shouldn't if not only for that reason.

however we still have a problem. this other guy (for this discussion though, it actually doesn't matter that its a guy) let us just say its another person, even a female. The reason I say this is he's feeling emotion towards someone else. At the same time.

Now to me it seems this guy has 3 choices

1. go with both people and see what happens (which I doubt would end up working for him in the long run, or at the very least cause more problems than it bring happiness)

2. break off the relationship with his existing partner and go for the new one ( which he doesn't want to break off)

3. cut off at the very least the romantic side of the friendship he has with the new person (which would allow them to remain friends.)
 
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