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Help/Support ► i give up on dating FOREVER



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thanks for the advice. it means much

I'd say that everyone's standards are too high. Our expectations are usually too high or demanding, and thus are unrealistic. This is something that is difficult to deal with in our culture where only someone's best moments are displayed and glorified.
i see what you mean by that
 
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noxy

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It's okay to have somewhat high expectations - like wanting someone who is driven and has big goals in life, cares about their health and well-being (read: works out and eats relatively healthy), etc.

But if you're going that route, gotta make sure you exude the things you're wanting from someone else. You can't really be a fat tub of lard and work at Mickey D's while living in your mom & dad's basement and expect to land a supermodel with fat stacks.

17 is the time to have fun and enjoy life, not really settle down and be in a serious relationship.

But like everyone else said, focus on yourself and doing you. Love will happen when you're not looking for it. Like at all.

I also somewhat advise against online dating, but that's just me being old and paranoid haha.
 

Absent

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^Woah what's with the absolutes on online dating? My mother met the love of her life online. My neighbors met online, 2 of my friends found their other halves through online dating sites.

Do I recommend it to someone under the age of 25? No, but it does work for some. Just like in real life there will be bad dates. We live in a digital age, where the gaps are being bridged. Love has a longer reach now, don't limit yourself.
 
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noxy

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If it works for some, it does. And I'm not gonna lie, I met my bf online, but I wasn't exactly looking for anything serious when we started talking. I'd just been bored & drunk & signed up for POF.

But IMO, finding love out in the real world is so much better. IDK... I probably sound rly contradictory.
 

Annoyance

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It really isn't a good option for anyone under 25. i.e. You.

It's just a really bad route because no one is really on there for a good reason and it doesn't end well ever.
 

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They really aren't.

Their profile may say they're looking for something serious and want a great girl & shit, but they just wanna get laid.
 

The Conquerer

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Emm, hmm you say that atm. Though, honestly it is probably a good mindset to have, for now; maybe for longer depending on the kind of person you turn out to be. I for sure thought I was done looking around for a while until the girl of my dreams popped into my life. And just like that she was gone as fast as she came into it; like a fleeting calm that you wanted to stay around but knew would eventually pass. Back to the drawing board. Don't worry, you get better at this every time. Focus on yourself and life goals, a relationship won't seem so important until you find yourself in one again, and even then a really great relationship is only part of a whole that's much greater; I don't expect you to quite understand what that all means, hell I'm still figuring it out and I got a couple of whiskers on ya, pal. You'll know when you find the "right" one, it's just a matter of whether the "right" one is really the right one and whether or not initiatives are made.
 

Pinwheel

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[h=1][/h]Stressing? Have you been rejected? Do you have trouble talking to people? What's on your mind? Share some of your problems with us and we'll try helping you out. This is not your blog.
Keep mind of that last part. Your opening post and title don't contain anything people are going to be able to help you with. If you're going to post in the help section, say a bit about your situation. This isn't a place to garner pity. If you post here again, make sure to follow the guidelines.

i have a clear mindset. girls standard's are too high these day's.
No. Just because a woman isn't interested in you doesn't mean her standards are too high. Don't blame other people for not holding an interest in you. Do you really expect a woman to want somebody who claims they've all got too high of standards?

and you know for a fact it was easy in the 50's. plus it's fun without being worried if your cheated on. I'm just saying.
Again, no. It wasn't easy in the 50s. It's never just "easy" as an existence given the time period. Not dating out of fear of cheating is like never eating out from fear of food poisoning.

Like everybody else said, you're seventeen. Seventeen is young as hell and isn't a huge time to worry about dating anybody. You've got plenty more to worry about at the moment than dating. Dating isn't really something you can just work your ass off to start doing, it's a mutual interest between two people.
 

Absent

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I agree that a lot of people use dating sites for sexual encounters but that happens regardless of mediums. Most successful online dates tend to correlate with older people, and people who converse/facecam together. But do avoid mainstream apps like Tinder and its variations.

In the OP's case, I wouldn't bother dating right now and focus on friends and school.
 

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You can't be happy in a relationship unless you're already happy on your own.

2 halves might make a whole, but in a relationship, you need to be a whole, happy person on your own before looking for "your other half".
 

DarkGrey Heroine

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17. Around that age, enjoy yourself and the time you have, do what your heart loves most, become your true, unique self, find what makes you be you.
I learned it the hard way, these years are indeed not meant for relationships. I know what I'm talking about, being with a person for almost 2 years, both thinking we're made for each other, and then everything ended up miserably and there's only hate left and the burning desire to never meet again, ever. During those almost 2 years, I lost myself and what was specific to me, what made me shine, there was only that relationship to feed with my life energy. Nah, not worth it. I don't care about a relationship now, I believe the right person for me will show up someday and then I'll just know he's the one. There should be no drama, no pity, no extreme stuff.

gee, I'm 18 and after all the shit life offered me until now, I know relationships are definitely not the most important things in life. I would say it's enjoying your time living this life, good or bad, making the best of it and being yourself. I'm glad I realized it at this age and not too late in life, so you might think about all this again and see the full half of the glass.

You can't be happy in a relationship unless you're already happy on your own.

This is so true. You must be ok yourself, and the other person too, and when two persons are good on their own, things might work for them when they're together too. They would be mature enough to work it out.
Again I feel the awkward need to express myself in KH terms.
You must be whole and strong enough by yourself, and then, eventually, you will meet someone just like you, perfect for you, the Kairi to your Sora and the music to your Atlantica. Remember, kids, the X-blade can be forged only if equal powers clash.

yush.

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Oh, and what's with the "girls with too high standards" talk? Guys can be just as bad with their standards. Humans suck, a human being is full of mistakes and can be wrong in many ways, it's not one gender's fault or the other's. Seriously. Girls complain about guys, guys complain about girls, this is total nonsense, take humans as humans and realize how hard we fail at stuff so often Don't discriminate, hate everyone! lol xD
 
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Nutari

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I looked at the other thread where you showed us your conversation with this person. From how it looks neither of you are ready, and you're both not really good for each other. So, I think the best move is to just distance yourself from the idea, and give yourself time to heal.
 

Shinjuku

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Let the man go to college that's when the fun really begins I just left college, and trust me the difference between High School and College is complete 180.

People change like the years and seasons, and heck I didn't find out what it means to have Best Friends until I got into college. When you get there trust me you will change, and you'll look back saying something like "Did I really think like this". Hell you might even laugh about it.

Whatever you do just once you get out of college get a job, get a car, look like you got to be somewhere girls will come,...............or you could be like a former roommate his girl(future wife as I claimed at the time) came too him BY FORCE!(Seriously can't stress how funny it was) It was by far the funniest thing ever did see cause he hated her(at first).
 

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Just make sure you aren't living your life to be in a relationship. Be indifferent to the idea, and be done with it. You'll end up in one eventually, and trust me, you won't want to rush it. You'll like girls, and then you find out there's something about them you suddenly can't stand, if you were to date them. You'll be glad you took your time. And again, it's better to have healthy friendships with women than to simply see them as potential girlfriends. They're people too, and you can't make them be in a relationship with you.
 

Shinjuku

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oh. i done dealt with it now.

How is that? Funny enough I didn't realize you're from my state until I just looked at the location LOL!

Honestly now that I know that I'm just going to say MAN UP! Cause it's too many good looking girls around this great state to even be like "I'm taking myself out the game" unless you go to FL then that's a different ball game. Them Island girls are something else lol.
 
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