...But I'll do it.
Lately, I feel like I'm living every day of my life as an empty shell.
There is that feeling...it is like...boredom? That won't go away...
Let's recap the last "awesome" things that I got...
- Some months ago I broke with my ex, I want to clarify we just had a distance relationship, but that we pretty much loved each other untill one day he decided to break up, suddenly saying that our wasn't love anymore but "obsession". There followed various peeks of sadness as I was trying to pierce together all the pieces of our relationship, culminating in me endangering my own life several times. Yeah, I tried to kill myself to put it simply...
- He got a new girlfriend, but we kept being friends. However he slighty changed his attidue with me...he kept going on with the obsession story. One nice day I snapped and yelled at him terrible things that nor he, nor his new GF deserve, I felt like garbage for this. In the end he blocked me.
- Recently we're trying to be friends again, even if he has his deal of "I don't hate you, but I whant to wait before talking with you like before again.".
- Actually, I menaged to get along that BoyFriend business thanks to help from friends and such, but there comes another nice thing. You see, I'm not healthy. Actually, my bones are pretty fragile, I suffer from insomnia, and I take medicine for that. Those medicines pretty much pushed around my body as the doctors said, so now I have frequent headaches, tends to fall asleep suddenly and other things I won't list.
- The problem with that? I had to change my own college since with too much absences here, you're out. I tought that wouldn't be too troublesome but after swapping school I noticed that is harder for me to see my friends like before...
- Maybe my father and a whole repart of the hospital in which he works will be moved to another place, that means that my family will be forced to move along eventually.
- Some years ago I lost my two little twin brothers in a bad car accident. Thanks to my ex, I menaged to get past that but...recently I miss them even more than before. I must confess it, while my parents are both out, I go to their chamber and cry alone there for a while. I'm working with my psychologist on that tough...
- Today my mother menaged to lose my cat while taking her back after a little operation. I looked for Corinne (that's her name) the whole afternoon...nothing. I'll try to look again tomorrow.
Before anything else, I want to clarify that I'm not obsessed with my ex. I just want to be a normal friend of his...even if he doesn't seem to get it or something...
Anyway...any...suggestion on what to do, anything, really. Talking of this here already make me feel better...
Lately, I feel like I'm living every day of my life as an empty shell.
There is that feeling...it is like...boredom? That won't go away...
Let's recap the last "awesome" things that I got...
- Some months ago I broke with my ex, I want to clarify we just had a distance relationship, but that we pretty much loved each other untill one day he decided to break up, suddenly saying that our wasn't love anymore but "obsession". There followed various peeks of sadness as I was trying to pierce together all the pieces of our relationship, culminating in me endangering my own life several times. Yeah, I tried to kill myself to put it simply...
- He got a new girlfriend, but we kept being friends. However he slighty changed his attidue with me...he kept going on with the obsession story. One nice day I snapped and yelled at him terrible things that nor he, nor his new GF deserve, I felt like garbage for this. In the end he blocked me.
- Recently we're trying to be friends again, even if he has his deal of "I don't hate you, but I whant to wait before talking with you like before again.".
- Actually, I menaged to get along that BoyFriend business thanks to help from friends and such, but there comes another nice thing. You see, I'm not healthy. Actually, my bones are pretty fragile, I suffer from insomnia, and I take medicine for that. Those medicines pretty much pushed around my body as the doctors said, so now I have frequent headaches, tends to fall asleep suddenly and other things I won't list.
- The problem with that? I had to change my own college since with too much absences here, you're out. I tought that wouldn't be too troublesome but after swapping school I noticed that is harder for me to see my friends like before...
- Maybe my father and a whole repart of the hospital in which he works will be moved to another place, that means that my family will be forced to move along eventually.
- Some years ago I lost my two little twin brothers in a bad car accident. Thanks to my ex, I menaged to get past that but...recently I miss them even more than before. I must confess it, while my parents are both out, I go to their chamber and cry alone there for a while. I'm working with my psychologist on that tough...
- Today my mother menaged to lose my cat while taking her back after a little operation. I looked for Corinne (that's her name) the whole afternoon...nothing. I'll try to look again tomorrow.
Before anything else, I want to clarify that I'm not obsessed with my ex. I just want to be a normal friend of his...even if he doesn't seem to get it or something...
Anyway...any...suggestion on what to do, anything, really. Talking of this here already make me feel better...
