• Regarding KINGDOM HEARTS Melody of Memory Spoilers

    Copies of KINGDOM HEARTS Melody of Memory are out in the wild, which means spoilers are likely to appear at any point. Although this game has very few cutscenes and story content, we still request that users follow our standard spoiler procedures.

    KINGDOM HEARTS Melody of Memory spoiler policy will end on December 13th, 2020.

    Spoiler threads will need to be tagged with the "Spoiler" prefix. Discussion inside of the thread does not need to be put under spoiler tags, so it is at your discretion to use them.

    Spoilers outside of spoiler threads MUST be hidden using the spoiler tag.

    If you do not follow these rules, your account will be banned.

Humiliatingly Honest Brother-in-Law VS Delusionarily Passive Mother?



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Taokitty

A Chagrined Fool.
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
1,519
Awards
0
Age
27
Location
People's Fragile Dreams, Relinquished from Anixiet
Hey,

First and foremost, I apologize for posting this. I merely am posting this because I have no friends that are close to me that I could discuss this problem with (I wouldn't want them to feel awkward). I thought it best to post it here to get the opinions of those prepared to give advice and whose life won't be affected by my decision.

So, here's the problem.

For as long as I can remember, I had no friends, I had no motivation, I really didn't feel like I had anything. However, that started to change.

First, it changed when I first started to lift weights, then it started to change when I tried my best to be more social (with success here and there pending). It was great, even if I wasn't extremely social, but motivated none the less.

Then I move to my sister's house for the Summer.

I had motivation, but no clear path. My Brother-in-law gave me a clear path and options to go and try out. He has given me advice Mother never would give me because she is too kind and -frankly- fails at life.

My Brother-In-Law is always telling me how the world works how shit is everywhere and you need to take care of yourself and talk and say what you want. It has been good to me and help me shape and try even more to be more social.

Now, here's the problem.

The way he motivated me too was with brutual, honest, truth. He told me I am socially awkward, however, I worked and strived hard to do better and I was happy at the anime convention that I talked to five or so people there throughout the whole thing and got about 3 emails.

Now he's saying I act mentally retarded/handicapped.

You can imagine how angry I felt at this.

The thing is, it's not the first time he told me this. He told me this when I first moved in, he told me this when he was telling me that my sister was actually disgusted with me because I still acted like some child because I did not make decisions on my own, because I acted mentally handicapped, according to him.

Maybe I did not being familiar with a house or how things are done, feeling uncomfortable in the home. I understand why he'd think that when I communicate with people because I do not communicate well, though I do know without a fucking doubt I am getting fucking better.

I didn't mind the first few times because he told me he was just being honest and he wants me to change for the better. He tells me to go out and be social, which is what I'll try and do. He told me this information so I would change more readily to be more socially acceptable and dependable.

However, at this point when I'm building hell of a lot more confidence and think I'm progressing he decides to call me mentally handicapped, or that I act lesbian and mentally handicapped.

Should I go back to my Mother?

I had only left for the Summer (and will stay for the Summer), however, my brother-in-law and sister have a proposition for me; to live with them. This is because my sister cares and worries for me while I am at my Mother's place and if my brother-in-law didn't want me to live with them, he'd tell me. Or, scare me off.

The problem with Mother is that I know I must change to fit in with society and that I must adapt and talk to others.

She's passive, no supportive.

She sympathisizes, but gives no alternatives.

She would rather have me stay the same than grow up because I am her little child and she doesn't really seem capable of helping me grow (she certainly wasn't there or noticed when I was in depression; she much prefers the computer to her children even if she doesn't realize it).

The dilemna I'm having is whether I should stay with my sister and brother-in-law and bear with them no matter how degrading my brother-in-law may call me all for honesty's sake and knowing my sister may secretely find me disgusting so that they can help with my growth, or go to my passive, unmotivated obese Mother who can't find the time to do anything and have no one to tell me the facts as they are or to inhibit my growth by lack of advice, but with more than enough empathy.

What do you think? (Another thing I must also work on is communication, but that will be for another day; I'd love to witness more examples and fundements to conversation).

-Taokitty
 

King Sora X

Legendary Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
12,515
Awards
3
Age
29
Location
Nowhere in particular.
  • Nothing's Like Before
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • Crafty Soul
Well it seems to me that whatever you choose, you're going to be living an unhealthy lifestyle. Say you choose to live with your sister, and your Brother-in-law, your confidence is probably going to be effected drastically, and as you said your trying to be more social. So if you choose to live with your Brother-in-law, it will be bad for your confidence, but at least if you choose to live with them you will have some care--so to speak. However, if you choose to continue living with your mother, your gonna feel ignored( by what you say) and that is by itself a very, unhealthy lifestyle. As you said, she cares more about her Computer then she does her own kids, so that will prove to be a very unhealthy living space. Having said that, your mother is the one who gave birth to you, so that has to come into consideration. So you do have a tough decision to make, but if you ask me; I say you go live with your Brother-in-law, and Sister because at least with them you will be noticed, and with your Mother, I don't see that a high possibility.
 

Taokitty

A Chagrined Fool.
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
1,519
Awards
0
Age
27
Location
People's Fragile Dreams, Relinquished from Anixiet
Thank you King Sora X.

In the end, however, I believe I will live with my Mother. After all, I can always call my sister and brother-in-law if there is anything I want to discuss, and at least if I live with Mother, I will be in a safer neighborhood, so I can actually walk to the places I want to go with no fear of being mugged or shot (though I still find that highly unprobable even though I am living in a dangerous side of the city).

I know I am a motivated person, or can accomplish this by myself. I know that in all honesty, it doesn't cut too deeply in my skin whether Mother is aware of me or not -I know I can always talk to her, I just have to approach her first, even though she should have approached me while I was in depression as far as I am concerned- the place I live does not really affect my decisions or my want or my goals.

It's merely which places gives me that extra umph or life lesson, or is more convenient.

Though I love my sister and brother-in-law, I will live with Mother because it's in a safer neighborhood, it's only five/six minute walk to my school (it would be a 45 minute bus ride otherwise), and I know that I can achieve whatever I want where ever I go, even if I don't get the valuable life lessons I'd experience at my sister and brother-in-law's; I will see them and keep in contact with them, which is just as well.

I will be fine and I will succeed one way or another.

Thank you again, King Sora X.
 

Donna da Ragione

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2006
Messages
504
Awards
0
Location
<('-')>
If your b-i-l is so willing to dish out the "truth", he should be equally happy to receive it, yes? Tell him how you feel about his comments, that you're making the effort to change, and so on. If he doesn't accept your words, you should stop accepting his.
 
Joined
Jun 14, 2004
Messages
3,097
Awards
2
  • Quack Attack
  • Retired Staff
The way he motivated me too was with brutual, honest, truth. He told me I am socially awkward, however, I worked and strived hard to do better and I was happy at the anime convention that I talked to five or so people there throughout the whole thing and got about 3 emails.
ahahahahaha

I am socially awkward
anime convention
ahahahahahahahahaha

Okay, I am done laughing at you. Now we get serious. Ask yourself this: are you socially awkward or are you just an introvert? You constantly talk about your need and desire to change -- why? Are you changing because you genuinely feel in your heart that you are not the person you want to be, or are you conforming to the expectations of your brother-in-law because you have no other sense of direction and lack the psychological maturity to maintain your own identity? I get the impression that the problem is not how you behave, it is that you simply don't like yourself to begin with.

I also have to point out how ridiculous it is for you to make it out as though the conflict is rooted in how you're treated in each household, and THEN you make your decision based on traveling convenience and safety. Not that those aren't legitimate things to take into consideration when deciding where you want to live, but dude -- it sounds like you already knew the answer to your own question, so why the fuck are you asking us?
 

Home bound

Just Caaaalm Down
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
1,597
Awards
0
Age
30
You already know what you want to do. You want to stay with your sister and brother in law.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top