Hoid's Twelve Shots of Summer Entries



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Hoid

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Hey everyone! So right now I only have one of the challenges completed, but hopefully I'll be able to complete a few more. I'm hoping to get at least twelve in, but with life's ever changing currents, who knows. I do want to say a little something before I post the link so you all can see my challenge.

As I read the list of topics to chose from, an idea occurred to me. For those of you who looked at my Fading Realm topic, you'd know that I was quite fond of a group of characters I've called The Birds. I thought it would be a good idea to write using some of these characters, and that this could help me develop them further. Now while these events are not canon in my little universe, I still thought they were fun to write.

This first story features two characters, Gull and Tuon. I'd really like to know what you guys think of these characters, as I'm still trying to develop them. Any advice you guys have is welcome! Tuon in particular is very fun to write, and I'll probably bring him back in another challenge. Hope you all enjoy! (Please let me know if link doesn't work.)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kB3AguHkjXyrkfP94m_7X0ip_Aw9awZJL8FJlneU1Dw/edit?usp=sharing


Dearly Beloved
Your First/Last
Hospital
Retelling/HISHE
I'm Coming Home
Psychological
Detective/ Murder Mystery
Crossovers
Past, Present, Future
Hero or Villain?
Trapped in an Elevator/Traffic
4th of July
Song
24 Hours
A Choice
20 Minutes or Less
Three Day Challenge
Usernames
Fantasy
Confessions
Road Trip
What Frightens You?
 
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KingdomKey

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You write the most compelling stories there is, you know that, Hoid? C: I really like the chemistry between Gull and Tuon. I feel like there's a huge history between the two of them. I kind of feel bad for Gull having to fight him the next time they meet, because they seem to get along in their own funny way despite them being two individuals who are cautious or manipulative. I wonder if it was their friends who've died? Or if The Birds, Arlia, and Mill are separate factions that are all after something or someone in particular. I imagine Tuon has a bounty on his head, perhaps, or something that the others fear; since they're all searching for him. And Gull seems like a lovely lady. I wonder what they're powers are? You really right a gripping story! And you nailed the challenge for this one too! Definitely impressed. <3 I hope to see more of these two characters, or anything else in relation to this because, I enjoyed reading it immensely so. <3
 

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I really enjoy reading your responses, Kit-Kat/Cinder! You really encourage me to keep writing!

I've finished up the Detective challenge, just click the link in the first post, scroll down, and there it is! I'm also including The Osterix Chronicles for the Fantasy challenge, I'll post another link to that below. Thanks for reading!

Link to Osterix Chronicles: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1T0Urf9YQ8YyVCLgqpe0u3RCnwBT729gZwtHL6IbmkDE/edit
 

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Detective

I really hope Argus can find a way to stop the Machina Bomb before it's too late. I wonder if Kessler is who we met in the previous story? The changing of names makes me think it is him. It's too bad Robin and Rook's secret entrance is connected to their powers. I'm really lovin' how this story ties in with the rest, because it's fascinating how you're able to turn this part into a detective story with them searching for clues like that. C: And it's amazing to think Robin and Rook are students living mundane lives, while plotting to destroy the world. Otherwise, well done in writing this detective story! It's positively gripping!

Chapter 9.

I laughed at this tiny snippet between Kearn and Spadille because, it's quite entertaining! Kearn seems like the type who can't sit still and has to keep moving. No wonder he's skilled in pick pocketing. xD Oh Kearn, you and your ideas. I do wonder what he had in mind to do with all of those sheep. Lol. I know this is incomplete, but I really can't wait to see the rest.
 

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Thanks for the kind words, both of you! It really does help a lot in motivating me!

I just finished another story, based on the Psychological and What Frightens You challenges. I had planned on not combining any challenges, instead writing separate stories for each challenge, but these two just fit so well that I couldn't help not pairing them together. Also Cinder, it was actually Pain that is the same character we met in the previous story, I think I might have mixed him and Kessler up by mistake. My bad! So Pain=Tuon, but neither are the character's real name.

Also, as a side note, this challenge(s) in particular was very interesting to write because I myself used to, and kind of still do, suffer from night terrors. So I was able to use some of those experiences as inspirations while writing this scene.

Anyways, hope you enjoy!
 
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KingdomKey

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I'm sorry you used to suffer from night terrors, Hoid. It isn't the first time I've heard about them before, but you'd be the first I've met that's said they had it. And wow, Pain being afraid of [COLOR=#333333]Arlia or the Apotheosis took me by surprise. I suppose in the end, even immortals have something to be afraid of. You really nailed the ominous feeling of being in open water. Furthermore, the twist of Pain seeing the Director astonishes me. Last but not least, you tell a compelling story with fluid scenes because, the changes of every place Pain went to within his own nightmare was fascinating to say the least! C: Well done on this one, Hoid. [/COLOR]
 

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The Dearly Beloved challenge is done! I noticed that I mentioned a character named Robin in a few of the previous challenges, so I thought I'd give you guys something that featured him a bit more. This worked perfectly with the Dearly Beloved challenge, as he has a romantic relationship with another character named Sparrow. Let me know what you think of these characters! I really do appreciate the feedback!

I've also included a checklist of sorts on the original post. The challenges I've bolded are the ones I've completed. Hopefull I'll get a decent number of them bolded before the challenge ends. As always, I hope you enjoy!
 

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Dearly Beloved

Short and sweet. Loved it because that was elegantly put. I like the callback to the flower in the story because that was brilliantly done. Sparrow is such a sweet heart, but I'm happy Robin went after her. I like how he comforted her and reminded her that they have each other in this new and mysterious place. I felt myself soften a bit, cause I was truly touched by the compassion he showed her with the teddy bear. This felt pure and sweet. Perhaps with a touch of friendship, or something more. Except it doesn't feel forced, you know? It feels right. Otherwise, I enjoyed it. And perhaps Sparrow will blossom and grow up more too. <3 It'd be quite fitting.

 

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And the hospital challenge is done! This one features Argus as a POV character again, alongside a few of his buddies. This happens wayyyy before the Detective challenge, however. This also features Pain/Tuon and another character (you'll discover who it is), except here they're children. Remember that Pain/Tuon is not his real name, and virtually nobody knows who he is, what he's doing, or what his real name is. An easy way to identify him is his purple eyes.

I've also started the Road Trip challenge, but I'd ask you not to read it yet because it's not yet done. Hopefully it will be soon. I really want to get twelve challenges done by the deadline, so hopefully I can turn a few more out. I really want to write a challenge featuring Arlia as a main character, and I'll probably save that one for last, seeing as how she and Pain/Tuon are my favorite characters. As always, I hope you enjoy!
 

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And Road Trip is done! A word of warning, the main character in this challenge is a pirate, and as pirates tend to be a bit vulgar, I did include some language in this. No F-bombs, but a few uses of more mature words. Let me know if I need to change something or tune it down a bit. Normally I don't see the need to use an overabundance of vulgarity, but they are pirates after all!

So now that this challenge is done, I now have eight challenges complete. I thought I saw somewhere that September 1st was probably the final day, so we'll see if I can crank a few more out. I'll probably do the 20 minute challenge, since that should be quick and simple. I still want to do a story featuring Arlia, and I'm considering doing I'm Coming Home for that one. I'll try and brainstorm a view more ideas for the last two, but school also just started back up for me, so we'll see how much time I have.

Edit: 20 Minutes is now done. It's short, but I suppose that's to be expected.
 
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Hospital

Greil did the right thing in my opinion. Especially if he's a doctor because that's like taking an oath to save lives. I can understand the potential regret upon knowing he may of unleashed a monster in the world, but everyone deserves a chance to live. And the kid did rescue Arlia from the monastery that tortured children like themselves. So maybe he isn't all that bad? Either way, I really enjoyed this one because it starts off with an explosion. :D

Road Trip

Crow seems like a laid back kind of guy who can roll with anything. And it's nice to see how protective he is of his sister despite being drunk. Seriously though, Crow is kind of scary too. He fights dirty. I sure wouldn't want to be the guy who got a knife to the balls. At the same time, this story felt kind of scenery and peaceful with the way it described how they flew through the sky, passing by floating islands, and arriving to their destination to see the rarity of a rainbow and foreboding message it leaves.

20 Minutes

This reminds me so much of Zankyou no Terror. Robin and Rook fit the act of terrorists so well. The riddle sure is tough, but I wonder if it's possible for someone like myself, or fellow readers could solve? Argus I feel kind of bad for having to deal with Birds trying to pick a fight with the world upon which they live on. It'll be interesting to find out eventually what their motives are. C: It's okay this was short because it was well told and written too.

Hero or Villain?

I know I read ahead of this, so I don't know if you finished it or not. BUT I really like how we're seeing Rook and Robin's perspective on blowing a part of a building up. They seem to care a little bit about civilians. And don't seem to like the backstabbing going on with the peace treaty either. Otherwise, I wonder who caught Robin unaware? It sure gets exciting knowing they're on a time limit to act before getting caught! I equally enjoyed this one, including the rest you've written thus far. C: I hope to read more after that cliff hanger! It leaves me in so much suspense!
 

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20 Minutes

This reminds me so much of Zankyou no Terror. Robin and Rook fit the act of terrorists so well. The riddle sure is tough, but I wonder if it's possible for someone like myself, or fellow readers could solve? Argus I feel kind of bad for having to deal with Birds trying to pick a fight with the world upon which they live on. It'll be interesting to find out eventually what their motives are. C: It's okay this was short because it was well told and written too.

It's funny you say that, because Rook and Robin are heavily based on Nine and Twelve, so I'm glad you got that! It's probably my favorite anime of all time. But while they are inspired by these characters, I'm still trying to make them their own individual characters with different goals and motivations. For example, Robin, who is based off of Twelve, is kind and generous, but also is extremely bloodthirsty and will kill without hesitation if it means furthering his own goals. While Nine and Twelve actively avoided trying to take lives, Rook and Robin do not. They will try and avoid needless killing if they can, but won't go out of their way to. And with the given information, it's currently impossible to answer the riddle. I do plan on eventually writing a series that focuses on this world, with Kessler, Rook and Robin, and several other characters who have yet to be introduced playing prominent roles. And hopefully I'll finish Hero or Villain soon! I'm really glad you're enjoying them :biggrin:
 

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Crossover is done! I had a ton of fun with this one, it's a crossover between my works, The Fading Realm, and the video game Bloodborne. The events that happen in this short story are clearly non-canon, but it's possible that this could've happened if these two universes collided.

And only one challenge remains until I hit twelve! I'm almost positive it will be I'm Coming Home or Confession, and it will certainly feature Arlia as the viewpoint character. As always, I hope you enjoy!
 

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Hero or Villain

I'm glad both Rook and Robin care about innocent civilians despite the things they have to do in order to be a force of nature to be reckon with, considering The Birds are going too far. I like how they had that conversation in the end about the lives taken weighing down on someones conscience or not. I'm glad it does, cause it can't be easy for either of them, despite their goals being for the greater good. I am curious who he happens to be tho. And I like how Rook was kind enough to suggest to a fellow student he knew to get out of there, despite her being a terrorist(?) That part really took me by surprise tho. This was an awesome read btw. C:

Crossover: Fading Realm and Bloodborne

I do ponder the reason behind Crane and Cruor being brought into that world in the first place. I wonder what the Great Ones had in mind for them until they learned of the devastation they brought with them to force them back to their own world with a warning of not to come seeking it out again. I do like how Crane tried to be the diplomat in all of this to find a way back home. I was impressed by Lady Maria being able to fight and hold her own with blood, fire, and swords. It was quite entertaining and I enjoyed it immensely so. I do hope to learn more about both of their universes someday. C:
 

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Past, Present, and Future is done! These are all parts of RP's that I was a part of a little while ago. And with that, I have twelve challenges completed! I certainly enjoyed it, and hopefully the Halloween challenge will be even better!
 
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KingdomKey

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Past: Griffh is a badass. I really like the fight scenes a lot. You describe things incredible well that it's almost like I'm there with him, when he takes down the bandits and the Priest. Seriously, the way he dealt with the Priest had my mouth wide open in surprise.

Present: Night Terror and Peacegiver were awesome. I love Peacegiver choosing Terror and getting revenge for fellow epics. Furthermore, the way he got Carolina to go with him was both amazing and absolutely terrifying . Definitely wouldn't want a run in with him the most. I rather face Night Terror.

Future: Can I just say I'm a big fan of Star Wars? I so am. <3 Rook infiltrating to pay a debt to make himself even is freaking awesome. I was instantly hooked when you mentioned Rook hunting down Sith and Jedi alike.<3 Man, you left it at a cliffhanger! A cliffhanger! Hoid, you are an amazing storyteller. <3

Well done getting all of the story challenges completed, Hoid! C:
 
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