Heart Of Nothing
- Jan 12, 2010
I know its been awhile since I've been really active, but I really don't know where to go. I really don't. I'm going through a really rough period in my young life, and I just need someone to listen or give me advice or something. idk. Well, essentially, I've had really bad depression since my parents almost got divorced. The whole ordeal was very dragged out and stressful for me. My parents hated each other and my mom tried to kill herself. Even after they made up, my home life has been really tense and stressful, and idk things just haven't been alright for me. Then, around 7 months ago, I started dating this girl. We pretty much had the relationship where we were best friends and we'd do everything together pretty much. My favorite things became her favorite things and vice versa. I fell in love with her. I lost my virginity to her. I've never been closer to anyone in my life. The whole time I was with her, all of the bad things in my life went away. My depression was at an all time low, I was rarely sad about anything, I felt invincible. Recently, shes been having some issues regarding her own mental health. She's been having ridiculous anxiety attacks and mood swings, and her depression is really bad. She recently broke up with me because she doesnt want to hurt me due to these things and because her therapist told her that a relationship wasn't good for her and that she had to stop seeing me and start focusing on more friendships and stuff. Ever since, I've been falling apart. I can't stop thinking about her. I constantly worry about her well being, and how shes doing and I just wanna see her and be with her. I can't focus on anything but this situation. I don't feel healthy. I feel like im going insane. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. its a complicated situation, but idk. I need help. Thanks for anyone who bothers reading this.