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Fanfiction ► Here Comes the Bride



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Andillexe

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O_O Namine... with a chainsaw? *runs away* That's kinda hard to imagine seeing how, uh, gentle she seems.

Interesting good, or interesting bad? o_O
 

madammina

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That's the point!

Erm... neutral. I just like seeing what people think will happen.


Edit: What do you mean by it ending happily?
 

Andillexe

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Sora keeps his Keyblade, loses his crush on Constance, and Riku is deemed not crazy anymore. :D

Honestly, I have no idea. The main point is: Constance loses. That's what I'm considering to be a "happy" ending.
 

Andillexe

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Ohhh. Will Sora try to kill Riku for Constance? Or will that be the place where it ends? I'm having a bit of fun thinking about the ending. =P
 

Reflection

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So I just finished the first chapter, or whatever these are, lol.
I really like it!
*goes to read more*
=]
 

madammina

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thanks!

For all intents or purposes they are chapters, but I'm using them to show the progress of time.
 

Reflection

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Finished the second!
Ooh, this is so creepy and mysterious. >:3

I loves it. :D
SRK! YAY!
<3
 

Reflection

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^ That's okay.

Lol I actually have some constructive criticism this time around.
Some stuff I liked:
~Oona! Her description was awesome, she's becoming one of my favorite characters. :3 I loved the Tarot scene, it was written very well, good Riku insight.
I like where she and Madame Leona are going with Riku.

~“Miss Kairi… Miss Kairi…” Kairi groaned as the warm sunlight fell across her bed. “Wake up Miss Kairi.” It had to be Harriet. She had a soft grandmotherly voice. And she had to have brought…

“BREAKFAST!”

“Kairi, a lady does not shout.” This voice was cool, used to commanding.

^ That part made me smile. xD
Lol!

~Les Miserables <333
Riku has good taste in books, lol! xD

What I wasn't really liking...
~Constance/Sora
wut
"she is beautiful blah blah blah"
I'm being honest here...MARY SUE OMG.
Sora just falls in love with her out of nowhere? Just because she's beautiful?
I dunno...wasn't really a fan of that part.

Now I'll go sift through the spam for the next chapter. xD
Keep it up! <3
 

madammina

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Sorry!

I'm glad you like Oona. She was supposed to be a one shot character, but I really liked writing for her.

I'm glad you liked the pre breakfast scene.

And Connie is a conwoman, and Sora has never really seen a mature, beautiful, "Developed", unclaimed women who wasn't fighting. It's his first crush too. I know it seems a little Mary Sue ish, but it was just because Constance has a track record with this kind of thing....(and for the reason above)
 

Reflection

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And Connie is a conwoman, and Sora has never really seen a mature, beautiful, "Developed", unclaimed women who wasn't fighting. It's his first crush too. I know it seems a little Mary Sue ish, but it was just because Constance has a track record with this kind of thing....(and for the reason above)

Okay, I can deal with that. But I think it needs more of that being shown, like at the end of the first chapter where her true colors was written in. That would help make it more clear that she knows what she's doing. Like, you can tell me she's good at manipulating men, but can you SHOW that specific trait a little more?

Hope that helps, and I can't wait for the next update! ^w^
Glad I started reading this one. <3
 

madammina

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YEAH!!! I know, I'll work on it when I finally finish the next chapters of my other stuff

and I know, I need to work on that. (And there is a BIG manipulation scene coming up. In a few :"Days" though I think....yep, Day 5 But I realized that during Day2 but I couldn't put anything in other then Sora rushing to her.
 

Andillexe

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What's with the insanely creepy preschool? I don't understand. Unless that's where it ends.

Now I"m definitely going to try to avoid preschools for a while. o_o What's really creepy is that today is Friday 13. Again.
 

Riku Fan1415

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^Definitely creepy, I wonder if the people with Psyche knew this was coming but were too lazy to keep it going for another Friday the 13th Psyche episode?
 
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