He Doesn't Care...



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Howler

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...and I'm so upset, I feel like I'm going to puke.
I know when you fellow readers will read this, you're going to be like, "Oh boy, here we go with the High School drama."
Except this, what happened today is so incredibly painful, you won't understand this pain I'm feeling right now.
Okay, now that I'm done explaining and wasting your time of reading me wallow in emotions, I'll say what happened which right now is so hard for me to type.

So for 4 years (was about to be 5), I had a crush on this guy that lives near me that goes to my school. We're close friends and we had each other's trust. I've met his family and have been around them quite a lot now. His sister is my best friend since when I was in 5th grade.
I never told him I had feelings for him till 5 months ago, I gave him a note saying I had feelings for him. Then, it was summer vacation.
During that summer vacation, he talked with me on Facebook.
He would ask me, "Why do you like me?" and after awhile, "Do you still like me?"
I would hesitate on the first question cause it sounded like he didn't want me to like him. Second question I would finally answer with yes.
Then Marching Band camp came.
We would not talk about it or act differently to each other.
Then school came.
We wouldn't talk about it still. Then I would see him hanging out with another girl, so I was preparing myself for him to tell me we wouldn't be together.
THEN he would ask me once each day when we're in the hallways if I still liked him. Of course, I would hesitate because after seeing him around another girl made me feel weird if I said yes.
After getting courage, I told him yes. He stopped asking me.
We would get along, he almost kissed me in the process but was too shy to.
After that, nothing. He acted normal. 2 days ago, he had to get surgery and he won't be back to school till Nov. 2nd. I sent him a Get Well card. Then today, that girl that he would spend time with gave my best friend (his sister) a note that was for him. At lunch, my best friend wanted to read the note thinking it might say get well and all.
But it wasn't, not even close.
Instead, it was a conversation of him and that girl.
He would say that he loves her and describing his feelings and yada yada.
But this what hit me like a semi truck.
After graduating, they would "have pups". And them desperately wanting to have them.
As in, children.

I wanted to rip that note up and shove it down his throat and slap him.
His sister freaked and was planning on showing it to her older sister and her mother. Holding in tears was like trying to walk on walls.
Me and her went to Biology class afterwards which I told her everything between me and him. Basically what I just said to you fellow readers.
I would begin to cry and she would try to comfort me and tell me to smile, but how?!
All of that, caring about him, thinking about him, everyday for 4 years straight was just a waste?!
I would keep asking that question and of course my friend could hear seeing she sits next to me.
But, what I read didn't sound like him, I wish it wouldn't be him who wrote it. I thought I knew him. All Algebra class I felt like I was about to puke and wanted to. Puking sounded like getting a paper cut compared to your arms being slowly hacked off with a machete. I know over time I'll get over it, but I probably won't look at him the same ever again.
What made me upset was the fact that he didn't tell me about this and I had to find out myself the hard way.
I just wish this was a dream.
That he still cared about me, that my Great Uncle Rod was still alive, and that I wouldn't know how horrible of a pain this feels like.
I know I need to stop and get over it already, but I just needed to say this cause I don't got anyone else at the moment.
I'm sorry if this wasted your time and thank you for those who read.
 
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VoidGear.

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Wait, so...
If I get this right, you're saying this guy doesn't care about your feelings and about you being hurt just because he apparently doesn't share your feelings? That's not how it works.
Maybe he doesn't feel the same and maybe he likes a different girl, but that doesn't mean that he "doesn't care" about you anymore. You might as well still be a valuable friend to him.
 

Howler

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I meant he doesn't care as in doesn't care about us being together anymore.
Like it didn't even happen.
 

VoidGear.

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I meant he doesn't care as in doesn't care about us being together anymore.
Like it didn't even happen.
Did he explicitely say he wanted to be with you? Did you actually start a relationship or kiss or even hold hands or say "we're together" before that?
 

Howler

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Did he explicitely say he wanted to be with you? Did you actually start a relationship or kiss or even hold hands or say "we're together" before that?
That he dropped the subject! That one minute, he wanted to know, then he'd forget about it and be with someone else!
 

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It is your life and you guys are the ones deciding blabla, but aren't you, like, 14?

All of that, caring about him, thinking about him, everyday for 4 years straight was just a waste?!
I am deeply sorry, but if you feel like you have wasted 4 years of your life being friends with him… I just don't know. Did you only befriend him so that the two of you could be a couple one day?
Like… If he doesn't want you as his girlfriend, I don't think there's a way to change it :/
But I am sure he still considers you as a very good friend

I meant he doesn't care as in doesn't care about us being together anymore.
Like it didn't even happen.
Did it happen?
 

VoidGear.

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That he dropped the subject! That one minute, he wanted to know, then he'd forget about it and be with someone else!
Asking you if YOU like him is not the same as asking you if you want to be in a relationship with him. Not even closely.
I'm sorry for you being hurt, but you're making it sound like he's an awful person for not liking you back even though he never even explicitely said that he did.
 

Howler

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It is your life and you guys are the ones deciding blabla, but aren't you, like, 14?


I am deeply sorry, but if you feel like you have wasted 4 years of your life being friends with him… I just don't know. Did you only befriend him so that the two of you could be a couple one day?
Like… If he doesn't want you as his girlfriend, that's the way things are, but I am sure he still considers you as a very good friend.
And it's not like you'll be able to change it. :/


Did it happen?
First off:
1. That was what he said about having children, and you're right. Maybe I should just wait to have a boyfriend till I graduate.
2. Like it didn't happen as in everything we talked about and the whole subject completely.
 

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Howler, there's a lot of miscommunication between the two of you. Usually when anybody asks somebody out it should always be done in person. Never with a note. However, it's terrible to think that he wrote that note for another girl he liked. Or that it was that explicit in detail of what he imagined with another girl. I'm really sorry you're in so much pain. (It seems like the boy used your feelings against you by asking you if you liked him over and over again. That's a huge sign right there that he's manipulating you to see how long you'd continue to have feelings for him.) A guy shouldn't be asking you that multiple times. Either he's playing you or confused about your feelings for him.

On a different note, it's extremely important to be upfront with the person you like. You're also a tiny bit at fault for assuming a relationship based on few interactions too. Relationships don't work that way. Communication is important. And if a guy hangs around another girl and they're showing more than friendship, when he's suppose to be with you... is a big sign something isn't right.

It may feel like four years have been wasted on a crush, but you have your whole life ahead of you. There'll be better guys to choose from, and maybe, you should work on getting your feelings across a bit better too.

One more thing, it's okay to share your feelings. Don't ever hide them or bottle them up. We're not going to tell you to get over it right away because, heartache sucks when it comes to rejection. Get some ice cream. Find some music to listen to. Watch something you like to distract yourself from your hurt feelings. Remember you're an amazing and strong person.
 
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Howler

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Asking you if YOU like him is not the same as asking you if you want to be in a relationship with him. Not even closely.
I'm sorry for you being hurt, but you're making it sound like he's an awful person for not liking you back even though he never even explicitely said that he did.
Okay already!
*Sigh* You're right. I'm so stupid. How could that mean he likes me?
And he's not a horrible person, just what happened was horrible.
How he acted when he talked to that girl is what made me lose my trust with him because having children planning while in HS still? Come on.
I'm sorry that I did display him being a horrible person, I'm just not in a good mood right now.
 

Howler

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Howler, there's a lot of miscommunication between the two of you. Usually when anybody asks somebody out it should always be done in person. Never with a note. However, it's terrible to think that he wrote that note for another girl he liked. Or that it was that explicit in detail of what he imagined with another girl. I'm really sorry you're in so much pain. (It seems like the boy used your feelings against you by asking you if you liked him over and over again. That's a huge sign right there that he's manipulating you to see how long you'd continue to have feelings for him.) A guy shouldn't be asking you that multiple times. Either he's playing you or confused about your feelings for him.

On a different note, it's extremely important to be upfront with the person you like. You're also a tiny bit at fault for assuming a relationship based on few interactions too. Relationships don't work that way. Communication is important. And if a guy hangs around another girl and they're showing more than friendship, when he's suppose to be with you... is a big sign something isn't right.

It may feel like four years have been wasted on a crush, but you have your whole life ahead of you. There'll be better guys to choose from, and maybe, you should work on getting your feelings across a bit better too.

One more thing, it's okay to share your feelings. Don't ever hide them or bottle them up. We're not going to tell you to get over it right away because, heartache sucks when it comes to rejection. Get some ice cream. Find some music to listen to. Watch something you like to distract you from your hurt feelings. Remember you're an amazing and strong person.
Thank you. I will, and I mean will, find something to make me feel better.
 

VoidGear.

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Okay already!
*Sigh* You're right. I'm so stupid. How could that mean he likes me?
And he's not a horrible person, just what happened was horrible.
How he acted when he talked to that girl is what made me lose my trust with him because having children planning while in HS still? Come on.
I'm sorry that I did display him being a horrible person, I'm just not in a good mood right now.
To be honest all those "plans" rather sound like fooling around to me. They were probably not even half-serious about it. The idea of having children together is romantic, but the truth is more than that, tied to responsibilities etc, and they're definitely not thinking any of that through. They were probably making some sort of "cute joke". I wouldn't interpret too much into it.
 

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Okay already!
*Sigh* You're right. I'm so stupid. How could that mean he likes me?
And he's not a horrible person, just what happened was horrible.
How he acted when he talked to that girl is what made me lose my trust with him because having children planning while in HS still? Come on.
I'm sorry that I did display him being a horrible person, I'm just not in a good mood right now.
I feel like you are slightly overreacting. Losing trust in him because he thinks about having children? I mean, yes, nobody being in HS should think about that, but if that is enough for you to lose your trust… you should maybe reconsider some stuff.
 

Howler

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To be honest all those "plans" rather sound like fooling around to me. They were probably not even half-serious about it. The idea of having children together is romantic, but the truth is more than that, tied to responsibilities etc, and they're definitely not thinking any of that through. They were probably making some sort of "cute joke". I wouldn't interpret too much into it.
I feel like you are slightly overreacting. Losing trust in him because he thinks about having children? I mean, yes, nobody being in HS should think about that, but if that is enough for you to lose your trust… you should maybe reconsider some stuff.
It looked like it was serious, I hope it isn't.
If you say it's wise to, I'll keep the trust with him.
Just forget about it.
I shouldn't have made this so this thread. It should be closed.
 

Muke

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I wouldn't be joking or else I wouldn't have posted this thread.
If you say it's wise to, I'll keep the trust with him.
Just forget about it.
I shouldn't have made this so this thread. It should be closed.
Nobody said you were joking? Void said that he and that chick were joking around. I never even mentioned joking!
I said you were overreacting slightly. If you don't think I'm helpful, just say it right away so I don't waste my time trying to help
 
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